Gretchen Sisson

And I think that that is a narrative that we have like never really pulled apart. The idea that they are better parents by virtue of disclaiming their parenthood, terminating their parenthood has made them more worthy of their child. You know, they feel very differently about their adoption today than they did when you go back and you rewatch that first season of 16 and Pregnant.

Caitlin and Tyler's journey reflects a lot of the mothers that I spoke with, right? So most of the mothers that I interviewed over 10 years came to a far more critical place around their adoption. They saw, like Caitlin and Tyler have seen, that this open adoption situation doesn't deliver on the promises that were made to them at the time.

Caitlin and Tyler's journey reflects a lot of the mothers that I spoke with, right? So most of the mothers that I interviewed over 10 years came to a far more critical place around their adoption. They saw, like Caitlin and Tyler have seen, that this open adoption situation doesn't deliver on the promises that were made to them at the time.

Caitlin and Tyler's journey reflects a lot of the mothers that I spoke with, right? So most of the mothers that I interviewed over 10 years came to a far more critical place around their adoption. They saw, like Caitlin and Tyler have seen, that this open adoption situation doesn't deliver on the promises that were made to them at the time.

You know, I remember Caitlin and Tyler not feeling that loving connection to the adoptive family that they had been counseled on during Caitlin's pregnancy.

You know, I remember Caitlin and Tyler not feeling that loving connection to the adoptive family that they had been counseled on during Caitlin's pregnancy.

You know, I remember Caitlin and Tyler not feeling that loving connection to the adoptive family that they had been counseled on during Caitlin's pregnancy.

And you have to trust our decisions. A lot of the mothers that I interviewed in 2010 felt really positively about their adoptions at the time. But when I went back and interviewed them 10 years later, most of them come to a harder place for them, a more critical understanding of their adoption.

And you have to trust our decisions. A lot of the mothers that I interviewed in 2010 felt really positively about their adoptions at the time. But when I went back and interviewed them 10 years later, most of them come to a harder place for them, a more critical understanding of their adoption.

And you have to trust our decisions. A lot of the mothers that I interviewed in 2010 felt really positively about their adoptions at the time. But when I went back and interviewed them 10 years later, most of them come to a harder place for them, a more critical understanding of their adoption.

They had less contact with their child than they wanted or than they had been led to expect they would get. That was really common in the stories that I heard from mothers who wanted what they had been told to expect at the time of the adoption.

They had less contact with their child than they wanted or than they had been led to expect they would get. That was really common in the stories that I heard from mothers who wanted what they had been told to expect at the time of the adoption.

They had less contact with their child than they wanted or than they had been led to expect they would get. That was really common in the stories that I heard from mothers who wanted what they had been told to expect at the time of the adoption.

That doesn't mean that the mothers understand that when they sign these openness agreements. They believe they're signing a binding contract. But even in cases where they are legally binding – The relinquishing mother does not have a lot of power if the adoptive parents choose not to follow that agreement. It would require going to court. It would require getting a judicial order.

That doesn't mean that the mothers understand that when they sign these openness agreements. They believe they're signing a binding contract. But even in cases where they are legally binding – The relinquishing mother does not have a lot of power if the adoptive parents choose not to follow that agreement. It would require going to court. It would require getting a judicial order.

That doesn't mean that the mothers understand that when they sign these openness agreements. They believe they're signing a binding contract. But even in cases where they are legally binding – The relinquishing mother does not have a lot of power if the adoptive parents choose not to follow that agreement. It would require going to court. It would require getting a judicial order.

A lot of these mothers don't have the resources for that.

A lot of these mothers don't have the resources for that.

A lot of these mothers don't have the resources for that.

So there has never been comparable rates of abortion and adoption, right? Abortion is a very common experience. Relinquishment is a relatively rare one. And this is true even when you look back pre-Roe v. Wade. Even when abortion was illegal and adoption was extremely coercive, secretive, this is the peak of domestic adoptions, you still had more abortions than you did adoptions at the time.