Guest 3

No, it's just the computer being weird again. What was it, 64? Yeah, 64 Ford F100 SWB.

This is what I would... You would find them buried amongst the ferns and moss. We should start a true crime show. Yeah, I feel like you'd probably get a visit from the FBI or somebody associated. I don't doubt it.

I could make you listen to my day. Yeah, that's impressive. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

But you didn't want to hurt her.

I was waiting for like, there's a war happening. And you're simply like, I'm not traveling.

Yeah, yeah.

Don't say I'm poor. Just do not say... Being poor is the worst thing you could possibly be. I know.

Wait, you think someone who ran for president is a narcissist?

Yeah, I'm curious.

Yes, it rained a little, but we're not going to need to. What bigger man was wearing that shirt before you put it on today, Bill?

Yeah, she's great. I was just talking to her. Yeah, she's great. Yes.

Ben Affleck left it with the house on.

Dude, have you ever watched... Did you watch that Chimp Empire show on Netflix?

I met them tonight, right?

Yeah, yeah, it's early. And how long did you go out before that? That's a good question. Another three, something like that. Right. I think around that. I might be getting some of this off, but yeah. But yeah, we just had a kid. Kid's like a year and a month old. You have one kid? One kid, yeah. Wow. Yeah. What's that like?

Bro, that crushed.

Yeah.

Yeah, I loved meeting you too, man. Thank you so much.

Anytime, man. This was so much fun. A real honor. Thank you. Dude, that was fun. Yeah. Yeah. I really appreciate it.

Of course.

I play pot of greed. There goes another one.

It's cold. Come, come.

The seeds are getting planted, dude. They're just like, baby girl, you ain't gonna run away so easily this time.

Look, James, look who it is. It's Sissy. Come give her a hug.

Thank you.

Are you okay? Yeah.

What if they don't?

Yeah, it didn't feel like pot of green.

Today, after I gave an opportunity to study overnight. So can you tell me in this committee what the Citizenship Clause of the 14th Amendment says?

What does the 14th Amendment say?

That don't matter.

Why would you regret your only friend?

To be clear, your ultimate conclusion is that you are in support of her petition for conditional release.

What did you do? I felt it.

I like not having to make any decisions. It's like a spa day for my brain. Forever.

This is no longer Barbie's dream house. This shall henceforth be known as Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House.

You're stupid. So dumb.

You come with me to that island as your sister.

Oh my God. No, no, no.

You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys?

He's out.

He sat everybody. Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sit.

Okay, surprise. I'm in Peru and I'm at Machu Picchu. I want to go to Machu Picchu. It's just so beautiful. I came here to feel something. You know what I mean? And I definitely have. I've done shaman ceremonies that were like 10 years worth of therapy. It was wild. I've seen a lot of llamas and the people here are so kind. I feel very safe here.

It's a little sad that I had to leave my country to feel safe, but that will get better eventually.

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Cuervo.

Cuervo.

Just some rumors. Dude, you know, there's so much stuff that's happening that I can just imagine Dan disintegrating under the stress of not being able to talk about it. Forget about this juicy rumor that we're not going to address right now. Do you know that Dennis Schroeder said that it's kind of like slavery? He compared players getting traded to slavery.

And as soon as I saw that headline, I swear to God.

Congrats. Oh, I got settled.

I'd like to give an award to American Airlines for having jets that go so fast we can hear them deep inside the Elser. Are we sure those are jets?

I'd like to give an award for false corrections to Pablo Torre because this quote is according to NBC Sports Bay Area. It's a real quote. It's not central.

Dude, at least an hour and a half, right? At least an hour. All I can think of is Dan calling Elise, his assistant, and saying, get me on a flight back. Maybe that's him right now. I think he's still hungry.

Hey, Juju, what did the crowd in the YouTube chat think of the show today?

I show up every day. What's up? Consistency, that doesn't matter.

Good job. Five seconds to go. I mean, he's right. Just dribble the ball. Let him dribble the ball out. We're done.

The one that I saw. Award for the video team. Good job, video team.

You heard the same thing I heard. That's it.

Yeah, how about us?

I'd like to give an award to Jeremy for lasting the entire show without bringing up perhaps the juiciest Miami Heat rumor ever. Oh, are we talking about... It's not ever. Thank you, Jess, for knowing how to play the game. It's pretty juicy. It's not ever.

Well, you're using words here. Sartorial. I don't know what they mean. So I'm just kind of going to shrug at that one.

She hates when I thank you. Why couldn't you have said that from the start? See, words. I have no idea what you're saying. You know, you say words like that, I take it as disrespect. I don't know what you mean.

I loved Paradise. That's my show. So good.

Most guys get a technical foul and their behavior gets toned down a little bit. It's like, all right, I don't want to get thrown out here. Draymond gets a technical. His behavior gets worse for the rest of the game. And none of these referees...

Do you think at some point CBS, when they showed up, they said, is that what you're wearing? Or they're just like, yeah, this makes sense.

I root for Buffalo, so late postseason pain is all I know. It's just how it goes. Allen's great, but he can't beat Mahomes.

Here in the AFC, the Chiefs continue crushing all our dreams. Bleep you, Andy Reid. Bleep Travis, Kelsey, and bleep my homes. Buffalo did not deserve to win. Can't beat my homes, can't beat my homes. They didn't deserve it because they weren't the better team. Can't beat my homes, can't beat my... Their shadow's constant.

above me one shallow cross and suddenly they're scoring another super bowl with them feels boring please jail and beat my homes buffalo is kansas city without the trophies yet it's not fun

Yeah, sold it to Carvana.

The guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency, no interest over 36 months? Yeah, no. Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up, and paid me on the spot. It was so convenient.

Yeah.

None.

Provolone cheese is the superior all-purpose sandwich cheese. Put it on a cheeseburger, cold turkey sandwich. It goes with any kind of sandwich.

0. 0

But you start to follow the money and you don't know where the f*** it's going to take you.

Really?

50.

And booze raining down here in the first half from the frustrated Sixer fans.

And the crowd explodes. My, oh my, it's so easy to make people happy. Apparently the chicken is very good.

This organization was ready to crumble last night. And then free chicken arrived.

And it made everything better.

I'd forgotten about that. Goosebumps. For people who forgot about this, dude, that's an eight-point game with four minutes and change left in the fourth quarter. And Boban...

But just to Dan's point, there are some people that have gone too far into the transaction space over the games.

The Heat are not the only franchise that had its fan base rooting against making the postseason and having moments that are game action because they want to hope traffic, because they want to think about the future draft pick that's going to come this year and start looking at mock drafts and things.

That's where maybe we start moving forward in a way that is too much, where you can have moments like Zazz and I were talking about last night's game that's this electric feeling as you're coming back. Even if you get swept, you have the moment of the game where there are some fans that would rather not watch that and start hope trafficking. That's where it probably jumps the shark, but...

I think that there's clear entertainment in looking at which of those superstars from the previous league get into this one.

Jeremy has fuzz in his eyebrow and it's pissing me off. You traffic on fans all the time.

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There's a genuine comfort, and I can tell that they put in effort to make sure, specifically in our case with men, that we would feel comfortable. Honestly, Tommy John's changed the game for me. I know it's going to be a good day now when I walk out the door and I've got Tommy John on. No distractions, no adjusting, just all-day confidence.

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Yeah, all those numbers are cool, but when the other team shoots 50% from three and breaks a record in the second quarter, you're probably not going to win.

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I would say if you were combining, like, because the NFL draft also often includes, we talked about Kirk Cousins earlier, like there are these big names that could potentially move. If you basically took all of the NBA's transaction window, all the free agency, all the trades, the draft, and put it all within the span of three or four days like this, it might do well on a random NFL weekend.

The NFL is so much bigger. It's not going to happen on a playoff weekend, right? It will. And that's what I'm saying. But it's the combination of you're also taking all of the best players from a sport that we love in college football and telling us what the next stage of their futures are going to be. So it's not just the hope trafficking for the NFL.

It's if you're a college football fan, you're getting to see where some of your favorite players are about to start their careers in. That is exciting.

I think that's more of a voice.

Yes.

So Edgar Martinez got left out? That's unfortunate.

8% of our audience is just hanging out every weekend with their best friend Rance.

What are the odds on that? It is straight cowardice. They're nine and a half point favorites. One of the biggest favorites in the history of the sport.

Stugatz. No, you are. Yeah. Feels good. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.

It is time for Stugatz to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy Stu.

Okay, so I thought I was good with money. Turns out I was really good at ignoring it. Like, how am I spending this much on delivery or Uber or that one shoe store that I buy too many shoes from? Then I started using Monarch Money. And dude, it's a financial wake-up call. Monarch's not just some budgeting app. It's basically your money command center.

Puts everything, accounts, credit cards, investments into one place so you're not guessing anymore. And listen, I found stuff I didn't even know I was paying for. Since I started using Monarch, I'm tracking my spending, actually saving money. Und ja, auch wenn ich Geld-Check-Ins mit meiner Frau mache und wir uns anschauen und uns sagen, ja, okay, wir sind alle gut.

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I don't know, Dan, if this is the way you're trying to make it come off, but it makes it seem like... Oh boy.

Aber Pablo, es ist fair zu sagen, dass die einzige Grund, warum C.B.S. Warren sogar über diesen Teil seiner Geschichte in der Beziehung gesprochen hat, ist, weil Jordan gerade dort sitzt und die ganze Zeit unterbreitet hat. Hätte das nicht passiert, hätten sie vielleicht das Thema sehr leicht überprüft, aber direkt dorthin geraten.

Und zu deinem Punkt, er hat einfach sein Buch promotiert und es als Puff-Piece gemacht.

Ja, es ist viel lustiger, ein Ideen-Millen für jemanden zu sein.

Ja, aber du solltest auch einen Konzert mit mir in einem Polka-Dot-Bikini drehen. Das ist das, wo die Linie von Manager und guter PR-Mann nach... Das ist nicht genau so, wie diese Rolle funktioniert. Eine gute PR-Mann, du weißt nicht, wer sie sind und sie machen nicht die Geschichte über sie. Und sie zeigen nicht ihren Kunden Konzerte und sagen, du solltest auch einen von mir drehen. Ja.

Also zurück zu dem, was Mike und ich über das Thema geredet haben. 28.000 Jahre her war es heiß. Keine Frisuren, nichts, um zu solidifizieren, was da los war. Sie haben es einfach rausgebracht? Wie hat das funktioniert?

Zaz, du bist wahrscheinlich ein Verrückter. Ist er ein wütenderer blauer Mann?

Let's see if his ruling is with or without prejudice here.

Sie sind unglaublich spannend. Ich liebe die Titel von ihnen. Ich liebe es, sie auf dem Show zu hören. Ich komme zu allen von ihnen. Aber ich liebe sie. Wenn er mir sagt, Dallas Cowboys Fans auf Death Row, bin ich so, oh, ich bin drin. Nach ein paar anderen Dingen, aber ich bin endlich da.

Das ist unsanitär. Aber könnten sie den Kammel-Dong benutzen? Nein, nicht Kammel-Dong. Nein, es ist Dung-Dong, in Billy's Defense. Kammel-Dong. Hallo, es ist Pat Riley.

Ich denke, meine Lieblingssache dieses Jahres ist es, Videos zu sehen von NFL-GMs und Präsidenten, die sich umgeklingelt haben, während das andere Team auf dem Klopfer ist. Es macht keinen Sinn, dass sie ihren Zeitraum verpasst haben, aber sie sehen alle aus wie Kinder, die Spaß haben, während sie ihre Teams draften sollen.

On YouTube, it's very clearly a dog. They made a YouTube 20,000 years ago in which you were watching a sex act.

So, you're offering it or just explaining it was what you're offering?

We've got a penalty. Five minutes. Major asshole. Sorry, Zaz. Dan's right. He knows.

Finance your car with Carvana and experience total control. Financing subject to credit approval.

Finance your car with Carvana and experience total control. Financing subject to credit approval.

That's the way your hardcore commie works.

Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation?

Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual.

Have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?

I'm exhausted. You're doing an impression of yourself. That's good.

He'd say, like, I used to drink with both hands.

And he'd get in the car, and he'd be like, you're here because of your mother's prayers. Amen. I believe that. Yeah. And he would say, turn off the radio and listen to God. Amen. I love this guy.

You know, I'm a dancer.

Yeah.

My wife's so much better than me. It's crazy. You need somebody that's above you.

Wow.

I'm pretty sure Jake said some wild shit to that guy. Oh, yeah. By the way, Jake has always been that way.

I think he's a good actor.

You made it very clear.

George is nestling up against you. I noticed that, Bryce.