Hank Azaria
Appearances
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
But before we knew that, it was really like, and it was one of my first big jobs. I had no clue, you know. It was really, even before I got that, I used to wake up in the middle of the night like that just for even attempting to try to be an actor. I'm like, who am I to do this? What am I doing? This is just nuts, you know.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
I pulled it off like no one knew, except my wife and like four other people, that I was cooking this up. And a band, one of whom is here today. And for months worked this impression up and created a band. My son's jazz piano teacher ended up, he was in a Genesis cover band. I said, if I want to do like a Springsteen version of that, could you throw that together? And he said, sure.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
It's a double-edged sword. I mean, often it means like, oh, you're not the star. You're not the lead actor. You're not box office. You know, and it can mean that. It can also mean the complimentary version, which is, my goodness, you really transformed yourself. Yes. Martin Short once interviewed me as Jiminy Glick.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And here's how he put it.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
He went, well, Hank Azaria, it's just so wonderful to talk to you. You just disappear into all these roles. And now that I meet you in person, I can see that it's no great loss.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
So there's an element of that. You know, to put it in like brutal bottom line box office Hollywood terms, you get an opportunity or two or three if you hit a certain level as an actor to, you know, hit the next level or two. And the two or three movies that I did that were that opportunity tanked. They didn't do well. Godzilla.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And a movie called Mystery Alaska.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
It was all movies that I starred in or had a big enough role where, and I think if maybe anyone of those movies had done really well, I might have been able to continue to parlay that into more lead roles and this and that.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
It's difficult to say. That was another hard accent for me. It took me three months to get a French accent. It was difficult to work at it. My friend Ben Stiller, God bless him, he's employed me a lot of times.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Just remember the five D's of dodgeball. Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge. A cross between Rip Torn, who has owned Patches, and Clark Gable. That was the mashup there. But, you know, you're right. If I had become a more major movie star, I might not have done those things. I might not have because I would have been busy doing something else. It's like, no, I can't take a small role like that.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And actually over time, I've become very grateful because I think I'm kind of happier. It's more me to adopt a voice and a persona and kind of disappear in the role and it's no great loss. And I really kind of love it. Of course, I have my day job, which pays me so well that I don't, you know, I can do that.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
What do you say to people who say you're an asshole? I was like, well, what are you saying?
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
It's both. It started out as pure mimicry with a deep love of what I was imitating. I was really raised by the television set. And so, in a way, it was a way to keep my best friends with me. You know, my love of sports became, because the guys who announced the game, you know, were like my uncles. Nobody else was spending that kind of time with me.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Nobody else was describing to me what the hell was going on at the Mets game. And I really appreciated those guys. And that became Jim Brockmire eventually. My wife, Lucy... She was wearing a strap-on, and she was plowing her neighbor Bob Greenwald. And folks, I do mean right in the ass. Fastball misses just low. Count goes for three and two. So it started out as a mimicry.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
By the night of my party, I had over-practiced to the point where I had to do a cortisone. I take cortisone the day of, and I was so nervous that I actually threw up from nerves. I've never thrown up from nerves in my life as a performer, but I did that day of my party.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
One of my main heroes was Peter Sellers, who was Inspector Clouseau in the original Pink Panther film.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
His ability to take a weird voice like that, a silly voice, but give it unbelievable humanity and specificity, physically and otherwise... Really, I don't think I've ever achieved what the level of Peter Sellers, but that's what I'm always shooting at. Like, can I take a voice and then fill it in?
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
I also, in my mid-20s, I was already on The Simpsons, but I went to an acting class for a guy named Roy London, who was a genius acting teacher. He's passed away many years. But he didn't let me do a voice or be funny for about four years in class. He said, you can do that. You need to now put yourself in these roles, which was very hard for me because I wanted to be anybody but myself.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And he was like, idiot. Really great acting means you're willing to share yourself with people. It doesn't matter if you sound like Chief Wiggum or like Moe or like Bruce or like your grandma. It doesn't matter what you sound like. It has to be you underneath it. And that time in that class is what made the physicality and the ability to take a run at what Peter Sellers was doing for me.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Well, I did this piece recently for the New York Times about AI and are we replaceable? And part of the point I was making was you have to really act and physicalize, even just to make a vocal performance. You have to fully act it. For me, you know, I remember when I took that class with Roy. I was already Chief Wiggum.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
But I started thinking about things like, well, how would I handle like being a beat cop, like for real, right? Like, is that how I would really approach it? What if I really were this bartender? And I actually used to bartend. I joked that if I didn't become motor bartender, I would have remained Hank the bartender, which is probably true. But I started just getting a little more personal.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And a lot of that was just having faith that... trust that if I showed people who I was, they would find it interesting at all, which I did not believe growing up. So that was... And I had to kind of go to... That acting teacher sent me to therapy because he would send... Have you heard of this guy Phil Stutz? Oh, sure.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
there was a term of affection yeah kind of affection also because he got sick of my whining yeah he was he was hilarious he's in there like you whining like roy i was having this dual crisis i would freeze in my performances because i would um not trust that you know in acting class i mean I would not trust that what I was doing was interesting and Roy wouldn't let me do a voice or be funny.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
So I'm like, I'm nowhere, I'm nothing. And Roy couldn't break it through. So he sent me to, he would send people to Stutz who needed deeper work under the hood than just an acting class could address. And I was also freezing in auditions. All of a sudden I would like literally freeze. I couldn't, I couldn't do it. So it's becoming a problem. So I would whine at Phil Stutz for like 15, 20 minutes.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And then he would fill it in with a rather brilliant explanation of what he meant by that.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And he got me through that auditioning thing and that it did take both of those men and a lot of work to sort of work through it personally and then professionally. Like, I just have to be able to say things to people as myself and trust that that's, you know, going to be enough.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
We're full-blown touring now.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Yeah, that's been a journey too. It's a good question, Pablo. Part of recovery, the kind of alcohol codependency recovery you go through, is you learn that there are certain archetypal roles that dysfunctional families will place you in. And there's only four. There's really only four. This is an oversimplification, but there's hero, good kid, There's Scapegoat, Black Sheep.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
There's Comic Relief mascot, which I was. And there's Lost Child, who either runs away or kind of disappears in the room. You don't see them. Quiet. I was the funny one, which was fun and funny. The dark side of that is there was such tension in the house that I had to respond in some way. It made me very nervous.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And if people were laughing and cheered up, maybe I'd get fed and people would calm down. I also really became an adult believing that everybody's mood was my responsibility. So it was less about, hey, like me, I'm funny, and more about, are you all right?
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
um i can't tolerate if you're not uh okay um selfishly weirdly because then you can't take care of me you know right so i had to undo that which wasn't simple it was a journey and then kind of come back around to seeing the ability to make people laugh is a tremendous gift and it's a joy and why not share it with folks but not feel responsible that you must you know
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
I might be a unicorn.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Programmatically. By the time that happened... any crisis in my life, you... Respond is the right word. Because in your life as an addict and as a codependent person, there's a lot of reacting. A lot of reacting. And some of the reacting can kill you. Like drinking yourself to death or whatever. So I had to... Anybody in recovery... has to learn to respond.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And that requires, you know, feeling your feelings, taking the pause, as they say in AA, learning that when you're kind of most upset is probably the, the biggest cue to shush, um, privately and publicly share with folks you trust, how you're feeling, what you're going through. Um, so that's how I approach that. And, uh,
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
What that boiled down to, what Harry presented to me was essentially, do I keep doing that voice or not? That was the dilemma. That's what it boiled down to.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
In order to answer that question, do I keep doing this voice or not, required a deep dive. It wasn't like, well, let me take a week and look into this. It was probably two or three years, because we all just froze at The Simpsons. We had no idea what to do. The character just stopped saying anything. And it became a deep dive into, well, is this racist?
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Does Hollywood have a tradition of doing this in one way or another? Am I part of that? The aforementioned Peter Sellers, you know, that voice was based on a Peter Sellers performance from a movie called The Party in the mid-60s, where he played an Indian guy named Harundi V. Bakshi in Brownface.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
What's the difference between Clouseau, Spectre Clouseau, silly French voice, or Dr. Strangelove, silly German voice, and Haruni V. Bakshi, a rather silly Indian voice? And it's a question I still get asked today. People will say, comments, I'm like, still to this day. Why can you do Luigi? And that's not offensive. Why can you talk like Cletus? And that's not a problem, but you can't do Apu.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Right. Honestly, at first I thought, let me look into this and then I'll go back to doing The Voice and say, I understand, but I'm going to keep doing this. And I was surprised myself that I came down on, no, actually, I think I am participating in a harm here.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Well, look, I'm not a hero, but I got dragged to this, okay? And I couldn't get out of it because I had this professional public decision to make.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
There were a few things that were linchpin moments in that decision. I'd say the main thing was when hate crimes were perpetrated against Southern Asian people, a lot of times they were just called Apu. It became a slur when convenience store guys were stabbed or shot or robbed.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
especially when guys who were in those more stereotypical professions, taxi driver, they were hated on physically and called Apu. That wasn't great. That means it got away from us. Something got away. Of course, we didn't mean it that way. Yes. And we're not to blame for people turning it into that kind of hate, but we did tee it up. It was interesting. I did...
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
I did a movie once with a very talented vocal guy, another talented vocal guy. And he would do sort of a Jewish voice, kind of a Jackie Mason voice. He knew I was Jewish and he'd kid around with me this way. And this was a person who was famous for voices and you took, didn't bother me at all as a Jewish person, that he would do this voice.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
But then I started thinking, well, what if this voice was the only, see, Appa was the only character on television or in any American pop culture for 20 years. That is the key part. That was it. Yes. Apu's what they had, for better or for worse. And I started thinking, well, what if this was the only voice in the American pop culture Jews?
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And every time, you know, people just say, hey, do you talk like this? Your father talks like this? I probably wouldn't love that. However, even if that were the case, which it isn't, Even if it were, I am a white guy. So when I walk around outside, unless I talk like this, nobody would assume that I talk this way. But Hari, no matter how American he is or sounds, appears Indian and will get...
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Apu crap if somebody decides to give it to him. And that Apu crap isn't just, oh, it's a cartoon, oh, it's a silly voice. There's all this other stereotyping and things that have teeth in them that affects people of color in this country. So while Apu might not be the most important thing in the world, it's a window into quite important thing.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
You can refer them to me, Hari. I'm not even kidding. Because I do owe it. It's my amends. I need to keep having the conversation. I owe it. It's part of my amends.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
They can't do it yet. They might soon. They really might. Most people might not care, meaning, sure, it's not quite as great as human beings doing it, but close enough. You know, these days we're so distracted with devices, people aren't watching one screen anyway.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
So it might be just good enough while you're watching your phone and glancing up at whatever else you're glancing at for a performance that... What do you care whether it's AI or not? And hopefully, you know, it'll never replace live performance. That's another reason I'm enjoying the Bruce thing. They can't AI me out of that.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Chief Wiggum doesn't sound great singing. Nobody cares. Sounds to me just funny and semi-inti.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Same for Moe. People ain't listening to Moe's songs, you know, because it's got a beautiful melodic quality. You know what I'm saying, Pablo?
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Thanks for having me here.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
I've been imitating the way Bruce talks since I'm a teenager. And the story I tell is, you know, a lot of my vocal impressions as a young man came out of hero worship, including this one you're listening to. There were others. For example, my voice a little blown out, but young Al Pacino, you know, not older Al who talks like this.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Young Al, Godfather Al, talk day afternoon Al. I'm dying here. Everybody's coming down on me here. That Al.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Now, fun fact. You take young Al Pacino on one end and Bruce Springsteen on the other. Right in the middle there is motor bartender. He's a mash-up of them two peoples.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
The Simpsons audition, I was doing a play in L.A., using the Pacino, the young Al Voices, playing a drug dealer.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And I'm talking like this, and I auditioned like this for Mo.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And they said, can you make it gravelly? So I just sprinkled some Springsteen in there, and that became Motobot, didn't it?
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Yes, actually. In my mind, that was going to be young Al Pacino. They said, make it gravelly. So then it became Moe the bartender.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Yeah, sometimes you're ready with what, you know, you think would work, and that's what stays.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Professor Frank was an impression of, I'm not sure you're aware of this, Pablo, since you're a young person, but Jerry Lewis was the original Nutty Professor back in the 50s, and he sounded like this.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
So that's just purely imitating Jerry Lewis's nonsense.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
I have some spray that's like ginger-based that helps. I have like a gargle that supposedly clears out your throat, which I occasionally bust out.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Have you met Bruce? Twice. Briefly.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Back in Spamalot one night, It was a knock on my dressing room door after the show. I opened it, and staying there alone is Bruce Springsteen. No one had prepped you for this? No. No, no. I don't know. To this day, I don't know how that exactly happened. We chatted for a while. He kind of gave me his review of the show. Of Spamalot. Yes. He's like, man, I love that show.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
You know, it was like this celebration of life and love. Such a Bruce interpretation of it. He talked long enough for me to get up the nerve. to tell him what he really meant to me. And I said, you know, Bruce, I got to tell you, your music has meant so much to me. Not just your music, but your talks, as we call them, the monologues you do in concert.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
I had some very, very lonely, hard times as a teenager.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And those talks, they really encouraged me to be a creative person when nobody else could or would. I think it's true to say that I wouldn't be standing here backstage at the Schubert Theater talking to you if not for you. That is what I said, Pablo. That is not how I said it. Here's how it came.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
vocal warm-ups i've had to take singing seriously which i never had before i'll be 61 in april i turned 60 last april which was too big a birthday to ignore try as i might and it felt depressing to do nothing but i couldn't decide what to do i'm not really a party guy anymore as i'm coming up on 19 years sober So, I don't know how I came to this, but I was like, you know what might be fun?
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Those were, that was the text. But here was the delivery.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And if not for you and especially the talks, I sounded like a goose on acid. And he looked at me very kindly after I finished my goose monologue and went, yeah, all right. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
I found out after that that, you know, he doesn't, he doesn't, he just wants to be a normal guy. You know, he doesn't love that fanboy insane energy and I don't blame him. Years later, that show you mentioned, his show.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
A guy comes up to me at intermission and says, you want to say hi to Bruce afterwards? I'm like, of course. I'm with my wife, Kate. I'm like, I'm not going to blow it this time. I'm going to be calm and cool. And we go downstairs.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
I never thought it would come up, but here was my chance. And I'm squeezing my wife's hand. I'm doing deep breathing exercises. And he and Patty Scalfa, his wife, are coming down the receiving line. I swear this is true. He gets to us, and before he can even say hello, I say, Bruce, you played Growing Up.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And he looked at me as if to say, aren't you the nut that f***ed this up the last time?
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
My friend calls it Bruce juice. It's the insanity that overtakes you when you see Bruce Springsteen. Certainly true of me. So he's always been that guy to you? Always. Since I was about 12. Yeah.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Oh, no. this was going to be i'd say most of my friends are right with me on that bruce mania but you know part of why i developed the show is i knew that about maybe half or third of the audience would not be such big bruce fans so i felt like i should introduce the songs give context for them tell them what they meant to me or give background of the of the song itself
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And that kind of created these, and do it as Bruce. And I wasn't sure whether that would work. I'm like, this is kind of weird. But for me, it's kind of natural taking on a vocal character and sort of giving it some kind of life. That's sort of my gig. So that's what I did.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Yeah, it's a good question. I've asked myself the same question several times. Because, you know, part of doing anything, I'm sure you experience it. You wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes you're like, what am I doing? Like, you grew up with you, right? So, you know, boy, it's imposter syndrome, they call it. Like, I've really faked a lot of people out to get where I am.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Yes, which goes deep as much as I have plastic vocal cords and an ability to mimic that drove my, you know, career choice. Equally at play was this, you know, budding, alcoholic, very insecure person who was desperate to be anybody but himself.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
Most of my friends are Springsteen fans. What if I throw a huge party, which is very uncharacteristic of me, tell my friends that I've got a Springsteen tribute band coming, but don't tell them that I'm going to be the front man for it. So I called it like a reverse surprise party, which it was.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And that was equally at play. That kind of drove the obsession to not just do this, but do it extremely to the point... I mean, when I was a teenager, around the time I was loving Bruce... You know, all you want to do as a teenager is fit in. So the tough kids in my neighborhood talk like this. And I sounded like them with them. And as far as they f***ing know, this is what I sounded like.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And the jocks sounded a different way. And I was a pretty good athlete. And I sounded a different way with them. And the burnout kids, you know, were a little mellower. And I sounded another way with them. And... This is before I figured out I can make a living doing that. But by the time I'm 15, I was so genuinely confused as to which one was actually the real me.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
That it actually freaked me out. Like panic attack freaked me out.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
And yeah, with this, you know, I would say that what drives me professionally a lot is the fear of like, oh my God, I'm going to be some cheesy Elvis impersonator or whatever actor equivalents there are to that. You like shoot up in the middle of the night like, oh my God, I'm going to do this poorly and I'm going to look like an idiot.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
Brilliant Disguise: How to Find Your Voice, with Hank Azaria
I mean, you know, like shooting The Birdcage, there were a lot of nights where I shot up in bed like, what am I doing? I'm doing an impression of my maternal grandmother in a bikini. What is happening?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
You know, people either really are into you or they're not once you go on the jumbotron. Ben and I talk about this all the time. We like dread the moment we're going up on the screen. We're like, oh, God, I hope I get a decent response. Otherwise, they're not going to have me back next time, you know. But I'm just I like what I like.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I'm such a big fan that they're kind of happy to let you sit 10, 15 rows up. They have a nice little suite for folks sort of out. And I kind of prefer that because it's a great view of the game and there's less pressure on you as a celebrity up there.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I'm glad you guys heard that, too, because I think I just had a stroke. But anyway, go ahead.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
That's why. I understand. They're jealous. People don't love you. I'm sure you've discovered this. I just sat courtside at the Knicks. People aren't happy for you.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Well, Spike, of course, is the top of that mountain. I mean, he goes to games out of town. He's everywhere.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
What do you want Ben to be doing? You don't want him to be excited? Is he just a little, like, is he dorking out too much for your taste? What's going on there?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Yeah, I probably say that quote because he loves you, Dan. I think he really wanted to be on. And so he wanted to want to give you something. Yeah. You know, Ben, you know, Ben's got a lot on him. He works real hard. And I'm happy for him personally that he has the thing that brings him that childlike joy, you know, and he wants to jump around at courtside at the Knicks. Let him have his fun, man.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I've been courtside many times. I think it depends on the game, you know?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
This is more of a comment on your your your opinion on on Ben's physicality rather than, you know, his attitude in the Nick game. I think you just you want to just be a little more graceful than he is, perhaps.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I got to support my friend here. I think Ben, he's genuine. He's himself. It's awesome. No, wait a minute. He represents what the garden is really like.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I'm sure he was. I'm amazed that Spike... missed that game. I mean, really, he travels the country. Well, he just had it revoked.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
He's revoked it, and now it's time for a... It's such an absurd notion that I don't think it merits even pushing back against. Anyone you filed this with, if you could do such a thing, would reject it out of hand. They wouldn't even look at it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Do I get some reverse? Proudly never been. Hank Azaria, colon, I hate charity. Whoa.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
No, that's right. Whoa, no, no. I do almost nothing but raise money for charity, including sing like Springsteen everywhere. But, you know, you stumbled onto another. So many little vocal stings now you guys have. Yeah. What has happened? Why is it all about little songs?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
That's what that means. I wondered what that meant.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
So he's allowed to toss in whatever little music he wants? Yeah, he's out of control.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
No, I forgot. Studio DLS Zoom phone number two and Studio One Zoom shot is what's coming through on my Zoom. And yeah, I've forgotten the folks name I knew. All right. There's some new faces.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
You're just you're not Stugatz.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I know your name is John. I remember that it's John.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Good enough.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
They kind of do, I've discovered in my old age. For some reason, baseball is with me more. I'm more of a, yeah, but don't get me wrong. I'm freaking out over the Knicks. I mean, absolutely. And I follow every year. I don't really miss a game.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Well, yes, it's great. We always, you know, we always have the jets to bring us right back down to earth in case any of us are feeling things too much. And but honestly, the honest answer to your question is it will take. years for me to be, before it wears off on me, just the Knicks and Mets being relevant and good, okay? Let alone how well they actually do.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
That is still a joy for me, that we play meaningful late season games and are decent and in the conversation. It would take a couple of years for me to get frustrated and go, why isn't this team winning a championship? You know? And it also is a little uncomfortable, especially as a Mets. I really get weird when the teams do well. I don't know how to be.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I'm so used to just complaining about what's wrong with these teams. It's hard for me to switch gears and just be happy that they're doing well. Not to mention these teams are, I meant when I said like these Nick wins apart from the last one have been hard attack. They haven't, they've trailed by 14 points in every game at least. I mean, it's really a series of heart attacks watching this team.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Is it that, as a Nick fan, do you need to just focus on something that bothers you? Are you proving my point? You can't just go with the joy. It's got to be finding what's annoying you about it, and that's where you're comfortable. Is that part of it for you?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
This is like OCD behavior. You're focusing on this so you don't really worry about the bigger problem, which is when are they going to lose?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Now I remember you. Yes, of course. You're Obi-Wan Kenobi. There you go. Have you been watching Andor? No, I haven't. I heard it's good, though. I really liked season one.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I assume by adult Star Wars, you don't mean like Star Wars porn.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
No, I kind of only like adult, like Rogue One and what Favreau did there with Boba Fett. Because what we get now, continuing the studio films, we argued about this, I think. It's coming back to me. You liked the prequels, which I don't understand. But no, I like the adult Star Wars when it's done well. Yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Yes. There's Wild Billy.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Literally, if I were invited, how would I handle that?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Well, I don't know anybody close. It's not like it would be organic to invite that I would go. Well, we're getting into inside baseball. There's memorials and there's funerals. Usually big actors, there's kind of a private funeral. You talking about like the memorial?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I went too famous.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I don't understand the spirit of the question. What's the dilemma here?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Serpico. I'd go to Pacino's funeral, even though I'm not very close to him, just out of respect. I mean, I'd be honored to be there. I'll say goodbye to the legend.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
You know what would be a real dilemma? Whether I'd go to Matthew Broderick's funeral or the Met Gala. That would be like a real tough one.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Hank. Investment in my life. Even if I wouldn't go, there's no investment in my saying, I would never go to that church.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I really miss you guys. And maybe Brockmire will make a return soon in a more serious way on the show.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Of course I would go to Paul's funeral. This is all very sad. This very sad little segment you have here. No matter what Billy plays. No matter what upbeat 70s dating game music you're playing.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Of course I, Nathan, love Nathan. Why would I not go to these people's? Circle back on Janine Garofalo. Circle back on that one. Also love Janine. Harvey Weinstein. Thank you. I would not go to Harvey Weinstein. We got it. You got him. I would absolutely not go to that.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I'll bring because I genuinely missed you, Dan. It's been a very, very long time. And all of the people in there. I'm not sure whether to start as Brockmire or as Bruce Springsteen or as myself. I have no idea which way to go here.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
It's a little weird. It's not like turning 60 drove me to some kind of weird post midlife crisis where I felt the need to start up a Springsteen tribute band or nothing like that with a bunch of children, by the way. Yeah, it's insane how I've gotten totally obsessed. You know, I'm a mimic. I've gotten completely obsessed. with talking and singing like Bruce.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
And it has cheered me up a lot, having turned 60, now 61. And I've raised a lot of money for charity, doing it, and I really, really enjoy it. So that's what dead is.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Well, first of all, I got to say that Stugatz, you've gotten kind of bloated. That's weird.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
What's going on? Have you guys fired Sugatz? Lots going on.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
All right, I just was worried. I don't know. He just can't be controlled. Yeah, I understand that. I could have told you that a long time ago. Saved you a lot of time. Well, hi, Stugatz. Who's the new guy? Sorry, I've been lost in my Springsteen world.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
That's confirmed? Okay, all right.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Hank, I see. Nice jersey. Yes. Thank you.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
It's been insane here in New York. Even when they win, it's like you feel like they lose even when they win. It's like this heart attack, except for that last game. So that came along with actually felt bad. Jason Tatum at the end of that game. I mean, I'll take it. I would have been happier if he wasn't injured. But we were going to win that game anyway.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
You mean, I don't know.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
no you know by the way he was writhing around i was sure it was one of those landed on an ankle things right and then when they showed the replay finally and you see it was non-contact no i can i can tell you honestly when i saw the non-contact nature of that i felt really bad i was like oh no you just never like to see that as a basketball fan just go oh that's awful you know that's awful i think the point
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Yeah, go ahead.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Have you realized that you feel more for men than you thought you did? This is natural. Many men have different feelings. There's nothing to be ashamed of.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Maybe this is because you have feelings about men you are not totally, are not totally processed. Could be, it's possible.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Because he's got a great ass! Yeah, you like that Al Pacino yelled that into my head. As do I. I love doing Brockmire. That's a good segue back into the Pete Rose thing.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Yeah, I was rethinking. Maybe I don't answer as Brockmire.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Not yet. He has not surpassed Clyde yet. He's making a run at it. He's got to win a ring first to achieve that, in my opinion. And, you know, Clyde, come on, Clyde. I mean, there's a guy who, Deuce McBride? Who is that? Deuce McBride? How dare you? Who was the original number two?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Larry Johnson.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
All right. Well, I'm glad to hear that. And yeah, I mean, to me, passing Clyde would be hard. But he might do it. I mean, it's a good problem to have, trying to pick between Jalen and Clyde as your favorite all-time name.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I mean, who hates them? I mean, I'm sure everybody outside New York hates them. But you mean like in New York or wherever?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Oh, yeah. The Knicks are the main focus of New York. I think they're the most beloved team, and it was especially heartbreaking. I mean, look at, through all those 25 years, the Garden was never not at capacity for every single game. I mean, need I say more? I mean, it was always insane in there, no matter how the team did. Yeah, it's been fascinating.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
As you know, I'm sort of obsessed with team ownership and how that affects everything. And I don't think, can you recall, Dan, an owner sort of, I know that sometimes teams get sold, like the Mets are a good example, right? The Wilpons got out and Steve Cohen came in and it's changed things over there. And we've seen that happen in a bunch of places. I can't recall an owner really just kind of
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
reversing his policies and going, let me hire guys who know what they're doing and let them be. And it's worked. Can you recall any other example of that?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
No, well, wait, many points there. They tried to hang on to Hartenstein. They just, they literally couldn't. He got 18 million more or something going OKC. Like they just couldn't match it. And then the guy, I don't think he wanted to leave, but he couldn't turn down that money. And, you know, Leon Rose has made a series of incredible decisions.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
I mean, he might have gotten a little lucky with Jalen. I mean, remember when Jalen first got here, we all thought we overpaid for him. But he's good. And he's turned into this superstar. Nobody saw that coming. And... Leon Rose and World Wide West have just made a bunch of decisions that have been great.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
But the fact that they were allowed to even make them is astonishing because that just wasn't the case a bunch of years ago here in New York.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
Oh, all the time. Look, I think there was an article in the Post today that finally broke down what goes into being allowed sitting at courtside. That's what you'd imagine. You do have to really be a Nick fan.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The Hank Azaria Show With Not Stugotz
They kind of draw the line there, unless you're dating either someone who's genuinely a Nick fan or is such a huge star that there's no way they're going to keep them out of the front row there. But yeah, you know, but it's literally it's like it's kind of daunting. You know, people applaud. It's like a popularity contest.