Harper
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
Well, you don't even know me, so how about you shut your mouth?
Close.
See, red flaggy much?
It hasn't been two weeks. It's only been ten days.
I mean, the reality is you sent me a lot of freaking texts with like a lot of freaking dates and now you have me on a radio show.
I mean, I'm not really into these games that he's playing with me, and I'm not going to fall for it.
Yeah, who's calling?
What do you want me to say?
No, there was just like a lot of effort. That's kind of a problem.
Yeah. Can you elaborate? I mean, like on the surface, when I met him, like I was working and then we went and hung out and like he was a good guy. And well, that's what I was looking for. Yeah.
I mean, like I thought so.
So we hung out and it it wasn't until after that I realized something was off. What? Like, I had every intention to go out again. Okay.
Yeah, he gave me three options to hang out all in a row. Like, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Like, why is he so available?
No, he was like, these are all the days that I'm available. And I have this belief, me and my friends do, that if there's a guy between the age 24 and 32-ish, if they have that much time to hang out, it really means that he's a loser. Oh.
Yeah, because like they're all in a row and it's like he should be grinding away planning for his future. Maybe he's not working or like working on a promotion or getting somewhere.
I mean, that sounds like an excuse he'd use, I guess.
Yeah, but he didn't say that. He was like, I'm wide open. And I'm like, well, what else are you doing with your life? Just pursuing me?
Yeah, I mean, he did. He actually had decent hygiene, which is a plus.
And especially in the beginning, getting to know who they are, and it just seems like he's just wide open to do whatever. But we're trying to build who we are as people.
He shouldn't have. He should have just let me hang for a bit.
Well, yeah, they asked me to be honest, and I was honest. They asked me what was up.
No, no. It's just a little red flaggy to be able to hang out three nights in a row. And, like, my perfect guy would never do that. He shouldn't have all the time in the world for me, you know?
You're just being a little way too chill at this time in your life. You know, now's the time to work hard and we're going to chill later.
Yes, you were. You were already hanging out with the group. No one cares what year you guys were pulled out. You know what? Fine. We won't argue.
Here comes the cootie squad. You should shut up, Heather.
Look who's with her. Oh my gosh.
Guess she liked me more. Ours was in Oklahoma.
Really? They popped the bars now.
Because you hit the dance.
Miss Zilmer? Let's go. Miss Zilmer, is this your first time on the pod? I don't even know. Oh.
Okay, well, that's a lie.
I think. I'm calling him back. And then when he said the casino, he said, uh, I work. Hey.
What do you mean you work some?
Her instrument privileges were revoked?
Oh, I already started.
I'm on the second one now. Okay, okay.
So his favorite food, I said, is... I'm not going to say now.
Go ahead. Pizza. I said that.
That's what I put.
What does Maverick Baker dislike the most? Going to the dentist, slow internet, loud phone games, homework. I'm so good at this game. What?
Don't spray it in my hair.
Yeah, I didn't get it right.
What's the lab would Maverick Baker like to see as a sibling? He would definitely have Zendaya as his sibling.
I got that one right.
Yeah, I got it right. What is Maverick's birthday? I know it's, like, February, right?
It's December something. Bingo!
Yeah, I got it! Bang, bang, bang!
I've gotten five right, yeah.
You can have it. Stop, Cash! Wait, do you... What? You're going to squeeze it.
Kinsey, you're not getting it.
Wait, let me have some of that juice, though. Dang it. Never mind.
Feastables! Feastables! Wait! Throw it to me!
Is that another Capri Sun? You don't need any more sugar.
I'm your best friend. I feel like I was.
Ew, this looks like the Dubai chocolate bars.
I'd like feastables, but not this one.
Oh, okay.
And we don't judge.
I'm trying to think. I'll go. Okay.
Oh, I know one. Okay, say it again. We listen and we don't judge. I used to be afraid of Kate. Me?
You never, every single time, never failed.
No, it's fine.
We aren't.
No, we won't judge.
I've got one.
Wait, wait, wait. We listen and we don't judge. I still have gum and I put it behind my headboard. Is there something wrong with that? Y'all white boogers.
She's already dead. I killed her. Sometimes I joke around with my friends and I edit their photos to make them look bad and I show them it and then they're scared that they actually look like that. We listen and we don't judge. I did that to my brother. Yeah, no, I did it to my sister, too. And I, like, edited it.
And, like, in freshman year, and my friend Emmy was like, do I actually look like that? And she doesn't, so. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, there's got to be more. I'm trying to think of some more ones. I got one, I got one, I got one. Already don't judge one time. I wanted to I was about to pour rat poisoning in my ops Wait, do you want to finish this?
But I didn't because I'm a great person.
And then I also had the thought to key my ex's car. But you didn't. I didn't, and I'm a great person.
No. No. That's crazy. That's too far. That's too far. If somebody ever keys my car, anybody from my school watching this, if you see me, I know I look child's right now.
Dude, I would be so mad.
Whoa, what the... No, I already posted on my story.
Dude, but if anybody does that, you'll... That was my stomach.
Kate, he uses your toothbrush to clean under his nails. What the?
I got one. Yeah. Ready? Yeah. Wait, let me think about it. Hold on. So you don't have one. No, no, no. I'm trying to think. Wait. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just give me a second. Okay, so you don't have it again.
I'm just trying to remember it because it came out of my mind. I don't think you have one. No, I have one.
No, I definitely have one. No, game's over.
No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got one. Ready? Yes.
One time, I pooped in Cash's water bottle.
Was it not funny?
Ooh, ooh, I got one. Okay, let me think. Wait, hold on. Okay, ready, ready, ready. Do you have one? Okay, ready? Yeah.
When sometimes I think my sister's super musty and I don't.
Reese, I sincerely apologize. Sometimes I find my sister musty and sometimes when I hug her, her hair kind of stinks. I knew a girl like that. Not the game.
Yeah, it's like she's been holding that in. I've been holding that in for a while. I relate to that. Reese is not even here. When I think about guys cuddling with her and smelling that hair.
I love you, Reese. I'm sorry.
I got one.
Okay, actually, actually, actually, we listen and we don't judge. Reese smells very nice. She's a great sister, and she smells great.
Wait, no, I want to judge. No. Oh, how about this one? We listen and we don't judge. I actually have hatred towards some girls in my school. Oh, yeah.
Bye, love you. We listen and we don't judge. All right. All right.
Yeah, sure.
A balloon just fell from the sky. Why haven't we done that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're calling me your family? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. We could start a whole party with all these balloons. A party.
You didn't tell her?
Why? Why? You didn't tell Kenzie? Are you stupid? What is wrong?
No, we didn't. I knew. Okay, okay.
Well, we should make that a thumbnail. Kenzie's dog got high.
And the balloons.
Oh my god.
I'll stab you with my porcupine spine. Cash, why don't you just go ahead and take a little bite? A little nibble it.
Aren't you going to where you're from tomorrow?
Look at her head. Cash. Can you believe that all my hair is sticking into the spaghetti?
I wash on Monday, so I should probably just wash tonight.
Guys, what the heck? I look crazy.
You still got some?
Oh, wow. In the morning? I usually brush my hair before you actually see me, Josh. Guys, do you think hitting a million followers is a big achievement? Yes!
Every time I lift my arm, it pokes me.
It's the LOL Lady Liberty.
How many noodles can I shake out of my hair?
Yeah, just... I feel like I need to stand up or something. Oh.
Okay, well... If any of y'all can guess my dream car, I'll give you... Nope.
No. McLaren.
No. Tesla. No. Pink Bronco.
Close, but not a Bronco.
Pink Tesla. No.
No. A pink Corvette. Y'all aren't my friends. A pink Corvette. This is a hard game. Okay, what is... Y'all aren't my friends. What is it then? It's a pink Porsche. How is a Bronco close? I said a Tesla's close.
She said Bronco.
Guys, these noodles made me itchy. I just can't wait to go home and shower.
Yeah, you gotta wash your hair quick now. After having noodles.
Are you like, I got to go to the pod or I got to film the pod? We say we got to film. I say I have to go film the pod to my friends. They're like, do you have anything to do after school today? Do you want to hang out? I'm like, sorry, I have to film this stupid pod. This stupid pod. No, I'm kidding. And I'm like, it's number one on the charts. The award stuff.
What happened to all my noodles? They all fell. Does it scratch your head?
It looks like those head scratchers that they sell for like a dollar or longer.
Yeah, if y'all are doing this, can we make this a trend and like be cool? We should.
Looking like a big porcupine.
Do y'all know Lil Tay? Yeah.
Yeah, we should get her on our podcast.
Because she's like... You know her or you know of her? I know of her. Okay. Do you know her? Do you know her? What? Do you know Lil Tay? Do you know Lil Tay? What, are you starstruck by Lil Tay? No, no. Have you met her?
No, you haven't. Yeah, I have. I said be honest.
Show me the photo.
Oh, was it Daniel Cohen?
Oh my gosh, you know what a person said to me the other day?
Shut up! You met Danielle Bogoldi? Bogoldi? You met Danielle Bogoldi! We met her, man. The one girl who just wrote that... What's happening on our TV?
Daniel Bogody? Now you gotta cook up a gold me. Now you're gonna diss me in the hornies. The girl who's like... Wait, you don't even know that song, dude. The girl that's like YJ. White horse. White wrist. White horse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You met her. She's my... She's... I think I did. I can't remember. Really? That's your idol? Really? She's my idol. I love her so much.
That's an interesting choice. This was like six years ago. I love her so much. That's an interesting choice. She's my favorite person almost ever.
Yes. And God.
Yeah. And then he met me.
You kind of look like you're in a rock band. That's weird how hair can hold things.
No, it's not, Katie. I'm the only real adult here. No, everybody. Thanks, babe.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Want to share one?
Wait, what does clean bulking mean?
I really do, yeah.
She does clean bulking.
No, I wasn't.
Skibbity dee dee. Oh, my gosh. We should have your grandmas do that. That's so fun. I'm going to make my grandma do it. Okay, you know what's sad is that I'm the same color as my sock. No, you're not. Around.
Do you have any tanner on? No. You look good. I thought you were going to go home and tan last night. Yeah. Yeah, well, I got home too late.
Oh, wait. Last night?
Two nights ago? I could have, but I wanted to use my new Sticky Dates perfume. Your new what? Sticky Dates perfume from Lush. And then I also got this jelly that I'm using every night now. And it's, like, body wash, but it's a little jelly. And you can wiggle it around, and you, like, lather it up, and then put it back in its tube, and then put it on yourself.
If you go to Lush, you can... If you go to Lush, you can... They have big ones of maybe castles or frogs or even princes. Well, I want one of those.
That's not even the worst part. That's my favorite part.
Good thing Maverick wasn't listening.
I like dark chocolate. I want Mr. Beast bars.
Dark chocolate is my favorite chocolate. Dark chocolate is pretty good.
That's hazelnut spread.
Who is the strongest man ever lived?
Ever... Who was the strongest man who died?
No, it was... What's his name?
The, like, app?
That's not your song.
No, no, no. Like, actually, let me look him up.
No, no, no, no, no. I'm not looking at Samsung. I'm looking up the strongest man ever lived. Seriously, stop saying that. His name is Sam's son. Sam's son.
Oh, Sam's son.
Y'all are both saying it weird, too, though.
I don't know. We might have to cut it. Maybe I just shouldn't say it. Yeah, just don't say it then. How about that?
No. No, you've seen it. Oh, I mean, yeah, I have seen it. I saw you come out of it. Yeah, but did you know it was... Stop calling it your secret room. That's our attic that you fell through the floor.
Magic? Yeah, that's so cool.
Yeah, there's already cotton flying down from the attic. That's why.
Okay. Can you hear me? Watch, you don't believe me? Yeah.
You can? Mm-hmm. Can you hear that? Oh, I know his name.
I need some... I know his name, guys. Who? What? It has a bad word in it. Okay, then don't say it. Okay.
Oh, no. Oh, give me that! Please don't spray my hair. This is the best gift ever!
What's so magical about it? You guys don't understand. Can we have a secret magic room for the live shows?
Oh, my gosh. Can we, like, fly up on those things? Oh, yeah. Go ahead. That's what.
Not a US tour, a world tour.
He un-added me. He blocked me on tags.
Wait, Kate, let's look in yours.
What's happening over there? I'm clean.
He's popping her ear pimples.
He's pulling down his pants. No, he's not. Harper, you can't say that. Oh, right. Right. He's not pulling down his pants. Thank you. Mark my words. Mark my words. So what are we going to talk about?
I'm not even done. It was the boring story.
I'm not even done.
Thank you. Thank you.
I got him Slim Jams and Andy's. Wait, how long are we taking?
What do you like to know, weather boy?
I feel like him. Alex is taking his headphones off. Does that happen a lot?
When you're talking to yourself. Kathy was asking me a question.
No, no. That kid has caused Reece some trauma, let me tell you.
No, no, no. Your sister's going to kill you. What's his first and last name?
Anyways. That was her social for sure. Anyways, let me tell y'all. I had a big crush. Yeah. A huge crush. Large. Large. Stop! She has OCD.
You can leave if you need to. No, it's fine. It's fine. Okay. So basically, um, basically I literally was, um, so I had a big crush on this guy. Oh gosh.
All right. All right. So I had a crush on this guy. Basically, literally. I had a crush on this guy. So basically, um, let's, he was just the sweetest guy ever. Don't cough.
wasn't going to wait i want to hear okay so basically i had a crush on him for a maximum of four days and we called every night for at least an hour oh oh oh i remember serious yes yes it was very serious no i'm kidding and i don't he did not like me at all he has okay well then he's no he had a big he had a big crush on my uh
like on my like family friend then he shouldn't be calling you to talk for an hour every night that's not your fault so he unadded me when he hung out with this girl and i was like you know what whatever but i i truly love him i don't just like him i love him wait so i thought this was going into a bad valentine's day no no no no no no no no no no no i love him
Which is honestly very hurtful because I literally paid him $30 to get me a ride.
You got so scammed. An Uber is cheaper than that. Her Uber driver unadded her. Listen, Harper. I gave him $35. I offered him DoorDash. I offered it. Harper, stop asking people for rides and just ask us.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was trying my hardest. His sister's a fan. I was trying to be nice to her. I was trying to be so nicer. And then he goes for the pretty blonde.
The pretty blonde blue eyes like y'all two.
Cause I'm, he said, you're not my, so basically he was like, he told like, he told people that I was chopped and stuff. And I was like, yes, cause I have red hair. I get it.
Yes, because I was on Facebook with him, and I was so embarrassed that he was going to look at the podcast. Because he was looking through the podcast, and I was so, I liked him so much. So I wanted to block him so he couldn't see anything. And...
Oh, yeah. When you're dating. I liked him so much. There's other fish in the ocean. No, there's no other fish. He was perfect.
What do you mean? She just told you. I just told you the whole story. He unadded you? He unadded me. He blocked me on text. He blocked me on text.
Now my lip liner. Yes.
And you got no flowers. That's so mean.
I'm literally trying to go home right now. This caller's blocked. Like, come on now. Like, come on.
And then last night, he added me back.
Last night, he added me on Snapchat just to ask why I was screaming his name in the shops. You were screaming his name at the shops? Yes, okay.
Did he do something to upset you? Okay, no, it wasn't me. It was my friends. Guilty by association? Wait, wait, was the guy there? No, no, no. Wait, it was the family friend that he liked? No, yeah, my family friend was there walking out of the movies, and I love her. She's super sweet. Yeah. And she was with two other guys, and I thought one of those guys...
I did not a live show and I was super into it but anyways cuz I was I'm really into this so basically I I I was like I was like that has to be Stanley so my friends were like Stanley and then we rolled up the window really fast and then Stanley added me and I was like he was like I like sent a sent a question mark or something and he was like why were you yelling my name so the shops oh so he was there
Oh, on Mavs. All right, get the other one.
No, he wasn't there because the family friend texted him saying, blah, blah, Harper was yelling your name. And I was like, come on. And then this morning she called me and she asked if I egged her house. And it wasn't me.
I promise it wasn't me. And her grandma, I love her grandma. I've known her grandma since I was literally like one. And whoever was egging her house threw it at her grandma's window where she was sleeping and she has heart problems. And so she thought it was gunshots and she almost had like a heart attack. No. I know. That's like the worst possible thing ever.
I literally like, I was, I'm like, I'm still, I will wait for him. I will wait for him.
Yeah, I will wait for him. Yeah, it ended up working out.
Well, he was also with a friend. Because when I was asking him for DoorDash, or when I was like, please let me DoorDash you. Like, I know you're hungry. He was like, no, like, trust me, I don't need anything. And I would feel bad if you do. But then when he was with his friend and he asked for a ride. And I also cleared his name for so many things. So he wasn't good. No, he was a good kid.
It's just like I cleared his name for rumors that were being spread around.
Inertia. Inertia. Wait, wait, Alex.
I mean, as I said. Nothing bad should happen, right?
Put it on your leg.
I'm not gonna taste you. Wait, can I see? All right, here we go. Ready?
Yes. And then last night, he added me on Snapchat just to ask why I was screaming his name in the shops. You were screaming his name at the shops? Yes.
No, you grab it from the side and go.
Nobody does that except for you. And then you also do this. That will cause a brain bleed. No. Shell.
That will cause a brain bleed because the bone shoves up too high in your brain. I learned this in eighth grade. And because I went into button nose really bad, so I kept doing this. And if you do it for too hard, then it causes a brain bleed from all the pressure. Oh, my gosh. Stop doing that.
I'm quitting school. You're quitting school? I wanted to drop out because like people can sometimes be mean, but that's also kind of on me, you know? Are you ready for this life change? I think I'm ready, but at the same time, cheers like my whole entire life. Like that's like what gets me away from things. You guys have helped us.
Look at their face. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't judge.
It's facts. Yes, it's all true.
Sorry, sorry, guys. I just, I just, I am so sorry.
Oh, yes, that is true. Line four is true, and I'm sorry. I did not realize that I said that. I am so sorry. That is disgusting. I am so sorry. But yes, he did walk in the room and say that. Okay.
He threw his water bottle. So we all just kept talking.
Wait, where did you throw it? Into the street? No, it didn't make it to the sidewalk.
Okay, but he can't help farting.
Dude, that's not even worth. Never mind. Wait, what happened?
We have the P, the E, and the D. And. All the letters, we got all the letters. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. We got all the letters. We were so close.
Oh, no. That's where your McDonald's burger comes from. Cash. Take one step closer. Cash.
Put it in the drawer. I'll hold it for safety. Nope.
You put a hole in the wall, too. Dang it.
Kick the wall and see if you can possibly get a hole in it with your- I don't think I broke it, honestly.
What do you like to know, weather boy? My whole body is hurting.
I can confirm I saw that. Yes.
What are you wondering? Is this a hanger? I didn't say anything.
Guys, I'll tell you the truth because I saw the truth unfold and unravel. Thank you. So, cash ran in the room.
Okay, ready? This is what I saw and I know it's the truth. Cash ran in the room. He tried very hard to close the door so Kenzie wouldn't get in. Please, no, no, no. Don't get in. Kenzie finally closed the door. He ran back in. He called the cow. Hi, cow. He went behind the wall. He asked Maverick. He went...
And Maverick looked and I was looking at him when he did that, but I didn't know I like looked through the wall And I don't know if when I was looking Maverick was like yes, but when I saw you you missed the key But when I looked back Maverick was like And then that's when I came in, and I was like, for the clout, yes. For the clout, yes. She's like, for the storyline, the cow must die.
So that's when Cash ran downstairs. Kate ran, too, in her dramatic, fast pace. And he came back up and got the knife, and that's kind of the story.
What? Sorry to turn the pages. Tell us what you're going to say. I'm quitting school. You're quitting school? For sure? When?
No, I'm not lying. I just... I... What is that? What was that? Nothing. What was that? Nothing.
crying wait are you quitting wait wait are you quitting quitting forever like cash okay let me let me tell you homeschool so it was a hard decision to make because like can you stop shining that on my feet yeah sorry did cash quit quit school or did yes he dropped out no he just stopped doing it and he had a diploma
Enough about me. Okay, well, I... My mom was like, Harper, like, since we're going on tour next year, like... Get your tickets.
Get your tickets later. She said, Harper, since we're going on tour, like, I would really like it...
if you um quit school i'm kidding she didn't say that she said she was like i i would really consider you trying to go switch to homeschooled or something like that so i was like oh i'll think about it but i just don't think i'm ready to leave cheer and all my friends and like see them every day and also like next semester i'll be like driving to school for the first semester so it'll be like so cool but i was like at the same time i'm gonna be gone like almost every like week and
like doing like the show and stuff, which I'm like, when you said, would you rather be famous or do school? I was like, famous, like duh. So I was like,
thinking about that and i was like you know what like that this is like so much more worth it like my future is so much more worth it than stupid school well you're still gonna be doing school yeah yes yes fine i'm gonna still be doing yes i'm gonna still be doing school but you're just not dropping out necessarily no no i'm not dropping but like you are dropping out of school
Yes, but it's not, it's not, I mean, it's like, what's it called? What I, when I'm dropping out of school, um, I like, I'm still going to do homeschool and like, somebody is going to teach me or something like that. Stop shining at my feet.
It's my feet, but, um, and also, um, like literally ever since like social media started kind of like, um, I like, like, was feeling like I wanted to drop out because like, sorry, I keep saying like, but I wanted to drop out because like people can, sometimes you mean, but that's also kind of on me, you know, uh, because like of, uh, of issues and stuff.
Uh, but like, you know, you know what I mean? Yeah.
Yeah. Wait, are you excited? Right, I'm... It's just like, I'm excited.
okay but it is kind of sad to think that i won't be able to see my friends like every day your teacher that does crunches yes i'm gonna miss him he i love you mr akino but he doesn't watch this he watches polish things but he's actually from brazil but um yeah i literally yeah it's just a def definitely like a life change but like
I think I'm ready, but at the same time, cheer is, like, my whole entire life. Like, that's, like, what gets me away from things. I love it so much. And, like, and also, like, if I don't do cheer, then I'm going to get fat.
no oh i mean yes yes i am no but isn't it kind of like don't you get excited to think about just like how much more you'll be able to do because you're not going to school yeah but i also want to have like the normal teenage experience but i feel like i've already had that and i've already got in trouble for things i've already you have but you're also like i've already got in trouble for things yeah but you know you're also gonna be in trouble yeah i know you're gotten in trouble a lot you're grounded right now but that's okay
Your mom's not going to want to hang out with you either. Yeah. She's going to want to go do her own thing. I know. I know. It's just, like, I don't want to go to L.A. with her every single time. I just want to go by myself and live in an apartment there. Oh. Oh, no. Don't do that. That's not it.
You ready to live in L.A. right now? I mean, like, when I'm 17. That's not that far away. I know. I know. But, like, I got a car and stuff. I mean, like, you got a car. But trust me, L.A.
Are you falling asleep, Cash? Is my story that boring?
I mean, I, like, can't seem to really get into the zone, if you know. Like, I can't really... And that's because of school.
Yeah. No, like the all-star. Not select or all-star. All-star. I booked up with all these hoodlums.
Oh, it's only on the weekends? Yeah. And every weekday, like three times a week, I have cheer practice. You have a lot of practice and stuff, too. It's like... So you're giving up all your friends, high school and cheer? I'm leaving my whole life behind for y'all, so... For us?
Oh, yeah, of course he does.
I mean, I'll take it, but... And for you, and for them. Okay, yes, I'm leaving behind my whole life for me. mostly mostly me for my future but also like for the like the fans like y'all like this content so i gotta know what if you're gonna be quitting school are we gonna see more harper zilmer youtube videos oh definitely yes a hundred percent yeah probably not I think he will.
But she didn't want to because she's going to school all day every day. I'm going to day school and I'm going to Wednesday night school because I get in trouble in school.
It's Wednesday night school. I was literally supposed to go tonight, but I had the podcast. I left my stuff behind. For the podcast? Yeah. Wait, you missed detention for the podcast? And I'm going to get more detention tomorrow. No, she's capping.
Same with my backup account. And people have been unfollowing me, like, so quickly. My backup account has 10,000 followers on it, and it just started not getting comments.
Cash is shining a light on my feet again.
Okay, yeah, but, like, genuinely, my dream, and this is, like, why I'm, like, doing all this, is to become a famous singer, or, like, not famous, like a popular singer.
Yeah. But people didn't show up to your tour. That's why you didn't like it. You know what?
You had a venue of 10,000?
Okay, listen, I'm perfectly content with my life right now.
Why am I... A life lesson.
Why did you guys... Okay, but... Okay, but let me tell you something. I'm always thinking about the future. See? I told you. I am. My dream is to be like Ariana Grande.
And also, like, sometimes I look back on photos.
Which we're not going to do because we're reading my diary. You don't have your diary. I do. On my phone. Notes app.
These are all my notes from five years ago.
You're filtering the bad words that I had potty mouth five years ago.
That's every episode. I just want to say one thing. One thing from my diary. Once again, drama with bleep. Bleep and bleep.
Well, since we're here, what are we doing in here?
Let's just get our feelings out.
Want to hear my diss on Cash? Yes. Cash, you look like you're about to get bashed. Yeah, that's right. Because look at your bod. I think you're a little odd.
Okay, wait. Fat lips. You're pale and you got fat lips.
Yeah, you're skinny and you got fat hips.
You texted me to make plans? Honey, you're just a fan. You try and ruin my life, but you just end up being nice. I don't think there's anything there. Wait, wait.
It's towards another girl.
I don't know. She's like the ad.
Never had any of those. I can't eat lettuce or anything. I'm allergic.
Chicken wrap?
I don't know if that's enough for them. I've never had Arby's or Jack in the Box.
Do they have pizza there?
Right on the floor. Ordering my cinnamon bun deluxe.
Oh, my gosh. You know what it does say? A dozen worm donut holes dusted into See? Donut holes.
You said they're balls.
Don't be suspicious.
He's not. I've watched him.
Oh my gosh, I forgot.
Yeah, it's on the way.
I look like Chucky, bro.
Yeah, I don't know what that is either.
Oh, my gosh. I was just going to say that. I'm not kidding. E.T. I don't think people even watch E.T.
The Shining Girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've watched the Shining so many times.
Yeah, airheads are so bad.
That's crazy. What's wrong with cutting it? Okay, you're killed.
No, I thought I was. Never mind. Just keep going. Sorry. Keep going.
Yeah, no, I know that. I knew that.
Mm-hmm. I guess I know I have a game after this.
No, she's not your stepmom. You don't have a stepmom.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
A Whopper does not taste anything. I'm going to eat all of those. I might just need to take everything off because I'm sweating off all my makeup. Why? Because I... You look good. From cheer? No, I went to PC, which is like another workout thing. Hey, Kenzie.
I have a new game. Guess what my Dasher's name is. You actually ordered to find out. Is it a man? Yes. Yes, it is a man. Mohammed. Close. Oh, really?
What? Marquise. No, it starts with a J. Oh, what?
Jimmy. Did I say Joe? No, keep going. Gerald. Jarvis.
Oh, the one who sold the buses? No. No.
Muhammad Ali? Is that... Who's that again? Yeah, that's what his name. He was a boxer.
That's crazy.
Yeah, could I have one? No, no.
Drop his number. Yeah.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Yeah, whatever. Okay, that's crazy. Big liar. Well, just kill him with kindness. I feel like I should leak his number.
If it wasn't illegal, I'd say go for it. Well, y'all haven't guessed my DoorDashers name, and I'm... Joe Hamid. Close. Jockwin. Gerald. It's four letters. Is it John? No. Four.
Four letters. Starts with a J. Wait, what did you say? Juan. Juan. Juan.
No, I am. Don't worry.
He's at the store right now.
He'll probably.
Well, I mean, I'm guessing he speaks Spanish.
Yo, yo, welcome to the final show. Wait, you can message him, can't you? Oh, yeah, I can message him. You might scare him, Ashley.
If you don't mind.
I just sit there on the toilet on my basement. Oh, my gosh. That would be insane. Like, actually.
What was the game you said you had, Harper? They're on the way. Oh, that was it.
Oh, yeah. Kiss, Marry, Kill.
Wait, who's this for, Kinsey? Oh, God. This is not okay.
Better believe it. Wait, did they actually? Every episode.
No matter what, you look them in the eye. Yes, look at Mav in the eye and say, kiss Mav.
Say it, Alex.
Give me one. I haven't got one, okay? Okay, fine.
That's just weird. No, that's funny.
I actually met some fans this morning. They're like, do a prank on Kay and steal honey. Oh my gosh, that would be so crazy. I know. I was like, no, I would get shot. Yeah, she'd lose it.
Yeah, kill Cash. Thank you. Kiss, kiss, hunt me, marry the corpse.
We got started so fast today.
here on the pod oh yay wait what do you mean seven oh on tiktok yeah seven million is like rounding up to 10 mil right so it's like the wind up is yeah process and so like two years ago i had zero now i'm at seven mil yeah makes sense that's why you throw a party rounding up from what what seven like rounds to 10 but it doesn't
And then you're telling me podcast to rock? I think Maverick's kind of proud of his skills.
Okay. Sorry, Dad. Oh, yeah. I saw it.
No, I didn't really do anything. I was just tied up in a chair.
That was pretty crazy.
Yes, she was like, don't actually hit me with the bottle. Try to make it, like, on the top of my braid so it doesn't actually hit my head. And so that makes sense. But, like, does it really hurt that bad when I hit you with the bottle?
Yeah, and she was like, okay, but make sure to go behind my braid. And I was like, oh, okay. But I didn't go behind her braid.
Yeah. I pooped. Yeah, there it is. No, I didn't. I swear I didn't. I almost wore that sweater.
Crap, I'm trying to think. I got these jeans from Sheen. Ooh. Nice. And your sweater? This is actually from a fan. Really? That went to our live show in New York.
She gave it to you? Mm-hmm. She mailed it. Aw. I know. I know. It's so sweet. That's sweet. I got it yesterday from Brandy. Or, like, she mailed it from Brandy. Aw. What? That's so cute.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Did you just steal it out of my closet right now?
No, no, no. Don't look in your closet. No, it's not me, but, like, I wouldn't do that, though.
Obviously not. I don't steal things. I buy my own things. Kate steals things. Yeah, of course.
Yes, of course. Uh-huh. Right. Can I... Yeah, okay. All right, well...
Oh, I can't wait to pop this pimple when I get home.
Because I... There it was.
Dude, seriously. That sounded like a dying cat.
I have an idea. So after the podcast, I'm going to get Chipotle and then get the Cinnamon Delight balls. I mean, that might have been the fattest thing I've ever heard in my life.
I just got done with my workout and I look absolutely insane. So don't mind how I look this episode, please. Well, we're trying this.
Yes, they are.
I'm getting Choco Bell.
Dude, I love them so much. What pack do you get, the 12-pack?
That's not a thing.
You do not eat 12.
Wait, but like, no, there's, it either comes in two Cinnamon Delight bowls or 12.
That's like icing. Uh, no.
Is it a donut hole?
It is kind of like a donut hole, though.
Do you remember my Taco Bell face?
I'm not gonna lie. I always wanted a Doritos Taco Bell. I've never had a Taco from Taco Bell. I only had the Cinnamon Delight. What? I mean, it's definitely some mystery meat. I've never had a Taco Bell except for this.
I'm like, why would I really pull my pants on at a McDonald's? Because I would do something like that.
No, it was like, it was a really, I don't know why I did it, but I was like, Cash, I need something good. Like, I want a good video, like a funny video to post. He was like, I got something you can do.
the only reason i did it was because we were not in our hometown we were somewhere we were out of state somewhere and i was like okay i don't know anybody here which yeah dropping a turd in mcdonald's is fine as long as it's not in your hometown i have to go back and face those people next week when i need to buy like my breakfast or something like Do you just buy breakfast at McDonald's?
That hurt you? Oh my gosh, he's talked about it at least five times a day.
Yeah, you need to see the structure to understand it. Oh, no.
I've had those. Yeah, the whole inside of my lip is bleeding. And the worst part is Kinsey literally bought him medicine to make his mouth feel better, and he refuses to take it. It's because he likes to complain. It actually rearranged my face. He wants to be a baby.
They do hurt bad, but there's medicine you can put on it. This is my face. And it numbs your mouth.
What kind of pose is that? Who poses like this?
Matt, your face was stuck like.
It's on the Couch and Maverick YouTube Shorts channel.
Yeah, it was like highly sad. That has to be fake. I'm sorry.
I can't get over that. What are other crazy things we've done? We got married for a video. We got married for a video.
You guys did do a huge Cash and Maverick video where you gave away so much money and then you guys literally got screwed from it, but still you gave a lot of people money.
That's kind of crazy.
Because you still have to be paid for the video.
And it was like, well, this sucks. And then the company was like, sorry.
Everything's crazy.
I've never done anything like crazy. One time Cash and I flew to Colorado for a Taylor Swift video, filmed an entire video out, like the whole video. Yeah, we did.
Yeah, it was like the worst travel day of my life, too. I hated that, dude. You know what else we did recently?
Because that was one of the next... It was like we were filming this video and we were like, okay, the show is this weekend. We gotta get a ticket and go out there because we needed to get the footage.
Kinsey and I are really working hard to grow our YouTube channel. I'm trying really hard, guys. You know what sucks? You know what's actually just mean, just straight up rude? I feel like y'all should have more followers. You know what's rude? What?
Is Kinsey and I are actually like trying our absolute hardest to run our own YouTube channels by ourselves because everybody is so focused on Cash and Maverick, the podcast, everything else. What the? That was really rude, Maverick. And Kinsey and I are trying so hard and we have videos ready to be edited. I've got like four videos. But they just keep...
giving all their videos the podcast and cash a maverick they just keep giving them to our editors and cashing or kinsey and kate keep getting pushed down at the bottom of the barrel i gave my video to the editor and he was like oh it's gonna take at least two weeks i have like three things that cash mad want me to do and i was like of course yeah are now taking applications okay anybody at cash baker okay i'm sorry guys i sounded like a brat i'm sorry
Are you talking about the follower thing? Yes. Can you talk about how we're struggling? I sounded like a brat because I was like... It's okay, Harper.
6.3? 6.7. 6.1? 6.5. Yes. Okay. I missed. I literally went through the whole count. Wait, what's our cash in K to count at? Wait, it might have gone up 6.6.
It had 7 million. And then they lost verification because of that.
I think you got it taken away on TikTok, though, too, didn't you?
Cash and Maverick, wasn't it verified on TikTok? And then you lost it because you switched it?
Dude, getting verified on TikTok is, like, impossible. Are you there? Shot in the dark. Honestly, it took them. They had like back when TikTok was like, even like when you guys have like 7 million on TikTok, that was like some of the highest followers. Like, cause it was just, I was when people were like popping off on TikTok.
You guys were like some of the biggest creators on TikTok at the time and they couldn't get verified. Oh, like TikTok just would not verify them.
500. Yeah, you literally will hit a million within your first year and it took me three. Maybe.
It's almost in. Is that his head? You're going to hit his tooth, and he's going to lose his mind. He's going to start crying. You're missing. That hurt. That hurt my tooth. All right, go. Ready?
At least do like normal M&M's.
I feel as if she made you win. No, she didn't. I'm going to ask her. I'm calling her right now.
Mav, did your mom let him win memory match? She's like, oh, probably. Listen, listen. I'm calling her right now. Everyone be quiet.
Well, those are the wrong letters.
Please answer. We have to fact check.
Hey, we're on the podcast right now and I just had a question. Okay. Cash swears, he's been swearing up and down, that when he was six years old, he just absolutely whooped you in memory match because he was so smart and so good. And I think the rest of us are kind of convinced that, you know, you may have let him win.
It's not real. He's got the biggest smile on his face right now, so it's working, Tara.
Can you tell me my birthday?
No, go back. Child prodigy. Go back. Garfield said she was 13 years old when she was doing this. Doing what? Sticking her hand in her poop and making her mom smell it.
Okay. What are you doing, Mr. Beast?
You might not be allowed to do that. Are you allowed to?
I don't think you're allowed to. Don't do it. I don't want you to get in trouble with Paramount. And they're like, Harper's Elmer ruined our movie. No paycheck.
The poker set? Yeah. In the garbage. What? Yeah, that thing got thrown away. It's gone.
Is... I bet I could guess a word you said. Okay, guess. The cotton ball glue do it. Guess. Uh, I bet you said the word today. She's reciting every single line. I didn't say it. I'm sure you didn't.
That's so true.
Was she in her crate? No, she's just been sitting on the stairs.
I want to have my nail.
I bet I could do the cheer music.
Four, three, two... Time to shine. One, go.
He said, my butt's stuck. My butt's stuck.
Thank you. Thank you.
Why are we screaming? Gosh, Cash. First you come in and you make a big ruckus and you knock over our brand new TV. I did not do that.
Cash, do you understand that we're like five minutes into this episode now and all we've talked about is you. It's kind of selfish.
I think Harper will fit in it much better than you do.
Yeah, she's so set. Don't kick me.
Cash, don't kick her again. Oh, you promise?
Harper, he's going to kick you again. No, he said he won't.
And you know what? I brought Honey on here. Hi, Honey. And did you know what happened this morning? Guys, you know who else we should bring on?
I was going to tell you guys. A singer. Honey literally this morning threw up all over the couch. Wow, good story, bro. No, she didn't throw up all over. It was just like a little bit. But then she got all mad at me when I had the audacity to put her in the bath to clean the throw up off of her body. Really? Being all rude and stuff. You gave her a bath? Personally?
Honey. Throw up is disgusting. I know. And then also at the same time, after Honey threw up, Stella came into the kitchen and knocked her bowl over. And so the dogs were both fat this morning. Shattered and everywhere.
I did because your dog broke my dog bowl, so I had to get a new one.
Well, Kinsey said, I'm going to buy you a new one. And I was like, okay. I mean, I need a dog bowl. Can y'all sing?
No, no, no. It was two. It was a set.
Wait, it was a set? It was like two dog bowls.
No, she broke one. And you bought two? Well, because it only came in a set, I would have brought one.
I mean, your dog shouldn't have broke the dog bowl, and you wouldn't have had to buy two more dog bowls.
Well, no, because you can buy the car separately. You couldn't buy these dog bowls separately. It comes in a set. It comes as a water bowl and a dog food bowl together. And they were matching, and they fit on the little holder thing perfectly. So I had to get... I mean... I really feel like I'm getting scammed here.
Please, stop it!
My dog does. No, my back was turned and like she didn't even make a noise actually. I was just like in the kitchen. She just opened her mouth and was like. I guess so. Pape and Cash were the ones sitting next to her and they were like, Kate, she threw up.
And it went a little something like... Let her do it. We don't gotta wait, it's not time. But you do it better than me. Um, so singing competition?
This is a bit much. Oh my gosh.
Oh, down the avenue.
Yeah. Wait, why don't you sing her song and then you guys can sing Queen B next. Okay.
That's good. No, you like, if you actually try. Yeah. See, that sounded so good, but you just won't try.
Yeah, no, no, I call what you just did, the hello thing.
No, I think that the Adele thing you just did was singing, and if you would just put a little bit of effort in for 12 seconds. Can you try first? I'm not a singer, actually. You want to know how bad of a singer I am? Can you put effort in?
Do you need, like, a warm-up or something? Yeah, raise your guy. All right, your mic's muted now. You can warm up and no one will hear you. Yeah. Raise your ya-ha, ya-ha.
Then she's warmed up. Oh, my gosh. Now, there's a new queen bee. Like that.
There's a new queen bee. Wait, oh.
You gonna throw it against the wall? No, can we go back to the fact that Cash was pinned higher on Harper's iMessages, but where am I pinned on your Snapchat?
We need someone to raise a ya-ya sometime soon.
Raise your... No, like, actually do it.
Wait, ya... Is it like an actual mouth thing I'm supposed to do? Raise your ya... Like, like... I mean, this should take five seconds, kid.
What if she's like, this is so embarrassing.
Dude, I never watch anything Harper sends me on Instagram. Since when do I message you on... You be sending me crazy videos.
I don't watch anything.
We're not going to sing that song. Why? Mr. Lover Man. Why?
Why? Why? The artist hates me. What? Are you kidding me?
He does not like me. I love him. I was like 16 years old. He was like cursing me out on Twitter. What? Why? He was like a 30-year-old man. It was the most diabolical thing I'd ever seen in my entire life.
I don't watch anything Harper sends on Instagram Reels because I know it's going to be lethal.
I love his songs. I'll show you what happened after. What do you mean? I'll show you the DMs. It was crazy.
Why was he mad at you?
because he didn't like that i posted a tiktok to his song to his song yeah because the song was like mr lover man and then i posted a video saying jesus loves you to the song and he was like don't associate my music with religion so oh and he was like cursing me out on twitter over it i was like 16 by the way i was a child he was like a 30 year old man oh highly embarrassing wow you just went off kind of uh i've had that in my chest for like five years oh i used to have one of these what are
It's hilarious. I actually don't. I'm actually the only probably decent minded person on this podcast.
Wait, can't we say it? No, don't say anything.
It's so weird. Instagram Reels is like illegal. It should be.
You're telling me there's something horrible on that phone in your hand and it's Kate's phone and there's something bad?
Well, there's not. It's nothing crazy.
I have to remember them.
Because I don't know. I don't want to have to save them all. You have to remember them? Let me count.
There's a really cute video of these old ladies walking into a furniture store and they were like, well, we just have to test it out. We just have to sit on it.
Harper, don't eat that. I think it's too late.
I'd do it to you.
But it's okay for you to send stuff like that to him, but he can't send it to you is what he's saying.
All my reels are blurred out.
I've never had that before. Oh, really? Keep sending me like. Mine are all like literally just like cute little girly, like Instagram girlies with their daily routines.
Wait, that's your first DM with Cash?
And didn't you call me annoying the first time you saw me? No, I did not. I called you a lot of things. No, I did not. I will defend myself. Harper freaked me out in the first video I ever saw of her. She came across my For You page, and she was in a really weird position, and she was making a really weird face, and I was like, ah! And I scrolled.
And then I saw her again later, and I was like, wait, that's that girl. And then that's when I pointed it out to Cash, because I was like, her account's doing good. She's getting a lot of views. She has three videos up.
And then I DM'd her.
But it is true because- Wait, so what did your mom say when you came to her and you were like, mom-
Well, what did your mom say when you came to and you were like, mom, this TikTok boy DM'd me and he wants to do brand deals?
Oh, my goodness. Excuse me.
And she guess called me on the live stream. We were in bed, and I had to defend our name.
Okay, and then I like let him join and you're like, hi And then Harper was like, who are you when I came on?
Yeah. It was like when she saw us saying hi to Harper, she was like, this is what I want to do. This is my time.
I didn't have any inspiration. I was forced.
It's crazy. But I didn't have a choice. I was low key like forced into it. Cash was like, you will do TikTok. I was like, I don't want to. He's like, you will do TikTok. I was like, I don't want to. He's like, you will do TikTok.
Do you know how many times I came home and I was like, I quit TikTok. I'm not doing it anymore.
No, it was really just when I was in high school. Cash wanted me to post an actual influencer, but I was still in high school. Obviously, I don't want to post an influencer when the people around me are going to make fun of me for it. So I was like, I'm not doing that.
Well, usually where I go, well, my mom always wakes me up when there's a tornado warning. Or you can go into our closet. Yeah, so like we go down to the bathroom and stuff when we put helmets on.
We put helmets on and put pillows over our head and put pillows over Estes' head too. Sounds smart. No, you don't. Thank you. Swear.
Y'all have not seen how these people do that?
Why did my mom make me put on a helmet?
Oh, okay. I have a photo, I think.
I actually think I have a photo of us hiding in... Fly faster. I promise you I have a photo of it.
Dude, no, I'm trying to find it. One time a hail fell on my head.
Me and my friend Anna. But I want a check from them. Me and my friend Anna were hiding in my mom's.
first tornado no we were hashtag twister we were hiding in my mom's i'll send it to you but we were hiding in my mom's um bathroom and we're all posted up with the helmets on it's so funny but no yeah i specifically remember that day yeah no i remember the cardboard i got from like there was some employees at a restaurant right next door to me and i saw them all running out with all these cardboard boxes and throwing it over their cars and they were protecting it from the hail
absolutely if the pillow doesn't go over then they wouldn't have you guys ever been up in a building so tall that you felt it swaying yeah that's so scary if you like look up at the statue of liberty and you like start swaying because it's so big and you like get scared have you seen the statue of liberty i have wow yeah i have you i saw it from like did you go to the island
No, I actually saw it from miles away.
That's terrifying. You know when you're looking at a skyscraper and you look up and it's so big and you feel like it's falling on you?
Yeah, I like that. Oh my gosh, you know the most embarrassing thing ever? So basically, my teacher was calling Rolls today, and then I was like, here, but I accidentally was like, here.
And they're like, Harper, I'm here.
And sometimes you're like, present.
Oh, yeah, they were taking roll, and then they're, like, harping. I was like, here. And it was very embarrassing. Oh, your voice cracked? Did everyone laugh? What? Did everyone laugh? Uh, no.
I'm going to LA and I'm trying to pursue my singing. And so, like, I just can't really do that right now with the podcast and stuff.
I'm trying to think. Sometimes they're, like, present. Really?
No, but what's it called? Okay, I'm actually trying to think. Like, what, like, clique would they fall into, I guess? Okay, so if y'all were my age, right? Yeah, we were in math school. Okay, so math and cash would definitely be in, like.
Definitely the theater club. Both of them?
You're going to classify them together? Actually, no. I feel like I would find Mav at the theater club and Cash with eating at lunch with all the popular guys.
I'll take it, Mav. And then Kate, definitely, I don't know. It's either in a library reading or, but that would be you right now. The reading club? My age. I would say the club. No, Mav would be in the chess club. You would be at lunch with your friends.
what that's what math said math said i'd be in the chess club yeah he'd be in the chess club but alex said he'd be in the theater so you know both of them on math yeah but there's actually a place i would be because in high school that's just kind of guy i was so continue okay well then k you would be i feel like you if i wanted to go find you you'd be out of any machine no i'm
I know exactly where you'd be you would be with your friends walking to softball if I saw you my age you'd be walking to softball with all your friends in your backpack with the bat on the back and you'd be like and then Kenzie she'd be like slightly bullying somebody and then Kenzie I feel like you would be my friend oh
yeah you definitely would you'd be like my really close friend i feel like because you're the same height as me it's just like i never had friends my height it was really sad same and anytime i met somebody that was my height i was like we're we're destined to be friends yeah no yeah i feel like you'd yeah be one of my good friends that eats at lunch with me or something thank you or kate i don't know both of y'all maybe what if we all but you do feel like we'd fit in into some sort of group right yeah yeah sure
They were like, yeah. Actually, I really think Kate and Kenzie would be my best friends. Aw.
No, I wouldn't find you at the vending machine. You'd find me there.
Dude, but if you actually throw it at the like audience, that would be so bad.
Dude, just second grade is crazy. What? You only stayed in public school until second grade.
What did we say? Yeah, we knew it.
Well, I was in cross country. I was too. And I only got to go to one meet because there was like thunderstorms on all of them. So at that one meet, we had run a mile and a half. And I remember my mom was videoing. It was like the last stretch of the race. And I look at her and she's like, go, Harper, go.
wait cross country is only a mile and a half well this is like one of this yeah well like yeah no no cross country they run miles they will run miles but it's like when you're when you're in seventh grade yeah so in high school how far do they run um like two miles or miles two i look up at my mom and then she goes she's she's like go harper go and there's a video and then and then there's like a bunch of people in the back and they all pass me and then like i'm just like trying to all run but then i look up at her and i'm like
That's so weird. No, it's gonna be turned into a normal upstairs. No, we can't leave this set. Why are you crying?
Are you on the phone with somebody? Yeah. Oh. Hola. Hola. Hola. Seamo Harper. Seamo Harper.
It's true. I mean, and I'm going to L.A. to do something.
So, yeah, we're not done, but we're not going to film during tour, so we're not filming anything. After, like, this episode, right?
oh my gosh what i want to because like i'm going to talk to you about it i'm going to la and i'm trying to pursue my singing and so like i just can't really do that right now with the podcast and stuff because this just takes up way too much time and she needs like a lot of practice yeah okay yeah no i'm not actually shutting a clothing line but maybe i should it's gonna be weird this set's just gonna collect cobwebs collect dust
I'm going through changes. Shut up, bro. I don't know. And, like, we've been doing this for so long. Like, I'm already 16.
You can't do this without us. I'm going to get Joanna. It's her name is Diana.
Hello? Yes! Well, thank you. Gracias. Gracias.
Aloha podcast. Because, okay. Yeah, no, I just, like, I just. I just.
No, I don't think you said that. You're just like, let's lower the video time.
Well, I mean, I have to go up there. Yeah, no, I get that, but... Okay, I have to.
But we know that it's not the best podcast creator. I said one of the best.
it's been fun though it's really it's been fun though it's changed my life and tour will be really fun no yeah no i can't wait in like 10 years can you stop saying that no like actually like like guys like we would like the podcast like it wouldn't be a thing um yeah without me yeah and without me and without
My stomach just growled really loud. I heard it from over here.
Cash, you should start your own podcast called Cash and Fridge. And have it be for 10 minutes with all the puppets and people clicking their things.
Oh. Hello. Hello. This is from Minnesota.
Let's go through the fun memories that we've had at least.
I always knew this day would come.
Wait, no. Harper laughs with us. I laugh all the time. I laugh at everything. Unless it's like honestly really not funny or if it's really silent after I say a joke and then I just start awkwardly laughing.
Because she'll say it. Yeah, Kenzie's the only one that laughs at my joke. I look over to her the first time I say a joke and then she's like...
Brody's been wearing these pants since yesterday.
Guys, that was crazy. I mean, she was nice. She was super nice.
I thought you meant Michael, your brother, and I was like, how does he know Spanish? No, yeah. Bilingual. But, yeah, what did you get?
Oh, we should have given her the $100. Oh, I did.
But I said, call... I'm in Spanish right now, so... She looked at you like you were crazy.
She was like... I said, hola, te amo, Harper. That means my name is Harper. And did she say anything after? She looked at me, and she looked back, and I went, okay.
Hola, mi amo, Harper. Yeah, I said te amo. What did y'all say to her at the front door? Hola, mi amo. She said, hola, my love is Harper. Hola, my love is Harper. That's so bad. But yeah, she looked at me and she looked back and then I went, oh, okay. That's so bad. What did y'all say to her at the front door? Hola. Like, I don't even know. Cash was like... We have a podcast.
And then she pulled out her phone. She was on call with a friend. And then she hung up the phone.
So you said I love Harper. No, it's Miyama or Miyamore. Miyamore is my love. I thought Te Amo was my love.
It means I love you. Okay. I love you, Harper. Mia Moore. Wait, so what did you tell the lady? What does Mia Moore mean?
And then she ran upstairs. She did? No. No, no. She was like, a few million? Ew, you just dropped a carrot. Ew.
No, I don't want it. Guys, the Stranulio triplets are in town. We should get them on our pod. Stranulio?
Oh, right, right, right. Well, I know a girl who fell from an airplane. Her parachute didn't work.
No. Maybe she's just got more weight on her now.
Oh, my gosh. How much fall damage? Even the safety parachute that's supposed to go out, your first one doesn't work, didn't work. And so she fell. She hit the ground. She broke all of her ribs.
yeah it stiffens your body and like oh my gosh i just learned like five life lessons so steer to trees if you fall imagine you're in the air and you start steering towards a tree yeah knock yourself out tornadoes yeah dude that's crazy like yeah but then if you lay on a tree you can just like get impaled by a branch yeah you could yeah you could i mean you're not gonna be ideal yeah i know i mean just don't jump out of a plane but most tree branches aren't just like
Oh my gosh, Kate, just own up to what you did. We're in a meeting and Cash is like, ugh. I'm like, what? Kate's texting me.
Put it right on. Hold it above the mic. They can hear it right here. Trust me.
Everybody knows what chopped means.
We thought you were so good at talking. What the heck did he say? I tried to figure it out for 10 minutes.
What? Dude, I want to know what I said so bad. The thing is, later in the video, you speak great English. Keep playing. Keep playing it. Put it right on the mic. What's happening?
And now we're throwing towels like they're just getting tossed from the fighting.
Yeah, Harper's on, like, the iPhone, like, 11.
That's what Mavericks was. It was like a side flip phone.
Oh my God. I never had minutes.
No, y'all haven't. Coach has been kidding for a long time.
Kate over here, the rich kid, she probably had like all the phones.
She's like, yeah. You and Harper are the type of kids to have the DS 3D. The DSi.
Did you have a camera on your DS?
Is that what that feels like when someone is like, you never had a Game Boy? And I'm like, no. And they're like, you never played Nintendo 64? That's really sad. I don't want to talk about it. You never had a DS?
Not knowing what a DS even is is crazy.
Yes, huh? Everyone comment down below if you know what a DS is. Everyone knows what a DS is.
Harper just is being weird. I had a Wii. A Wii U? A Wii? Oh, I had a Wii too. I was really good at the bowling.
Also, my dad had this zombie game on the Wii, and he wouldn't let me play, but I played it when he wasn't around.
Oh, and the exhilaration you got from playing it when no one was looking, and it was like, oh, I'm getting away with it right now. I'm like, give me that Wii stick. Come on. I'll hook up my nunchuck.
Oh, no, it was in the living room downstairs.
That was when they were gone gone.
I've never heard of Smash Bros.
The Switch? Yeah. I don't know. It's mine or Mavs. It's mine. Where's Cash's? Mine or Mavs. We each bought one, and then we lost one.
Yeah, but Maverick also is the one that bought Smash Bros., so we always had to log into his account on the Switches. I mean, it's a toss-up.
Kate, you don't even play, so I think we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
To be brutally honest, Harper, you self-tan too much. Kate, don't worry. Kate does it too. Every night, I'm like, Kate, you really don't need to put that on again. I don't have any tan on right now.
You're being too brutally honest. No, self-tan looks literally worse on someone than if they just were their normal skin color. Nope. Yes, it does. It looks like you spray-painted yourself. I'm not even kidding. I like it like that. It's like you took a spray can and just painted yourself.
She's going crazy. In case you're wondering, I don't think you should go to a tanning bed or self-tan.
How about you do neither? That's like saying, I want to eat Oreos, but I don't want to be fat.
I'd love to just, you know, remind you that the number one cause, or not number one, but it's like one of the top causes of cancer is the sun.
Yo, wait, can you wear sunscreen in a tanning bed? Listen, no, no, no. Hold on. Would that work? You wear sunscreen.
They have tanning lotion. And tan outside.
Therefore, you're just being outside longer.
Yes, any form of sun tanning, literally what a tan is, a tan from the sun is literally just damaging your skin. That's why it turns a different color, is your skin is damaged.
Yeah, I don't know. It can't be good for you, self-tan, either.
Definitely clogging all your pores. Now that me and Matt have been brutally honest, Kate, how about you be brutally honest?
No, I see that every once in a while, too. Nothing is comparable. And why do they always come in a pack of twos? Yeah, they're always two-manning. The self-tan girls are always two of them, and they're always, like, with, like, tube tops on.
They had, like, just going to pickleball type look. Yeah.
There was a blackhead in my ear. We got it out on the last episode. And it's gone now. Let's be brutally honest with each other.
Yeah, I was brutally honest about self-tan. Somebody else be brutally honest about something. You should stop dying your hair like that. There you go. Okay, well, I didn't like that game. We should have played. Is that what it felt like when I said you should have tanned yourself?
Wait, I know what she's talking about. What's funny is Kate's trying to act like it's a joke right now.
Yeah, I was confused at what you were talking about for a second, but now I understand what you're talking about.
Kate, you know exactly what she's talking about. I don't. Yes, you do.
Well, I was booing Kate, but if you haven't even brought this up to her, I think I should boo you.
No, ma'am. Kate knows what she's talking about. She knows what's happening. No, I don't. You're wrong.
I need someone to tell me what's wrong. Come on, Kate. We're all big kids here. Admit what you did to Harper.
No, no. The drama's out now. No, no, no. Harper is mad at Kate. It is no drama. Listen, Harper's mad at Kate for what Kate did to Harper. So Kate, apologize. He brought the 3D glasses and you brought the popcorn and I am excited for this show. So please continue that joke.
Why do you have a plate up here? You freaking fatty. She's over here trying to eat all the time.
It is kind of awkward, Kate. I don't think you should be laughing in a situation like this.
I don't want to be a part of this conversation anymore. Yes, you do.
I'm literally in the middle of it, and I'm having one of these moments.
Kate, you know what you did, so just admit it.
Kate knows exactly what she did, and she won't admit it.
Look, she's touching her mic out of nervousness.
No, Kate, Harper, you already brought it up, so now we should air it out, but I think Kate should admit to it and own up to it.
Oh, my gosh, Kate, just own up to what you did. Why are you guys gaslighting me so hard? Because I only know the one thing.
You were mean to Kenzie and Harper.
No, it's not a joke. Y'all are messing with me. I actually was a little bit. Kate, I'm not joking. I'm better now though. Kenzie was frustrated with you this weekend. But she's better now.
She's recovered. What happened? Wait, wait, wait. Okay, wait. This got fun because, okay, I'll be honest with you, Kate. Originally, we were just trying to gaslight you into admitting something that you did. But apparently, there's nothing you did. So you passed the test.
Okay, Harper still played along with it. It's different now, Harper. But Kinsey actually apparently has something, so please air it out. Well, you should have heard that. It went through. Air it out, Kinsey. Air out all the drama, please.
You were trying to feed people? Wait, seriously, where did that come from? I've never seen that plate in my life.
You hyped it up for all this for not that good of a story? Why? Tell me what all I know is I can't hear it about it. Okay, you do not keep hearing about it Actually, no I take it back I said something about it twice Is the something I also want to hear it because I feel like she is still mad.
Kenzie, go ahead and tell your story. What is happening right now? Where's my snackle box? Well, I mean, the girl drama is girl drama-ing right now.
Come on. What happened, Kenzie?
Is that our plate? Yo, everybody needs to relax. Yo, that actually scared me. I did not know we had a breakaway plate. What? Dude. Harper.
Hey, Matt, get your snackle box. This is about to get real good. Oh, I know. I'm so excited.
Wait, what all this next you got in there?
Whoa, whoa. What are you talking about? Oh, yeah. I got a couple bones to pick with people then.
Okay, Kenzie. I'm just mad right now. Kenzie, what is it?
Oh, my gosh. She's saving the best for last. I'm okay with that.
Well, no, no, no. I didn't know. And I told Cash and Kate knew too. Everybody knew Abigail was coming.
Oh, we're still on the bed story.
We were busy. We were literally busy.
Well, I'm sorry if you want us to go back in time and get the mattress. I'm not talking about this. We have seven freaking minutes to tell the good story.
Sorry. I can't believe I coughed at a time like this. Cash got COVID from that meeting.
Listen, the last three days, I haven't been feeling the best, but it's been like this stupid, annoying sickness that you're not really sick, but you kind of are. But sorry. Go ahead. Sorry, I affected everyone. Moving on.
He was like, no. I felt cool for a second.
She's busy. Did you ever respond?
Yo, that was sick. I knew we ordered some breakaway bottles the other day, but this is way cooler.
Wow, well, if it makes you two feel better, Kate texted me this weekend a lot when she was gone, and I didn't respond to her much. Yeah, we're in a meeting, and Cash is like, ugh.
That's not true. That didn't happen. Really? No.
That did not happen. What meeting were we in, Math? What meeting?
We were in a meeting? What meeting?
Oh, we were there, too. It happened multiple times.
No, he's lying to you. I think you're a very pretty girl. I never said that, okay? I would never ignore you, all right? Okay, I'll be brutally honest with you.
I'll be brutally honest with you.
No, what? He's stressed. No, I didn't say that. I never said that. It is bullcrap that he's saying this. It is bullcrap that he's saying this. What are you going to say, Mav? I've never been behind the scenes. This is crazy. I'm so sorry, Kat. You're going to make Kate cry. Kate, I swear I did not say this. I didn't.
No. No. Why are you crying, Kate? This is fake news right here. This is not real.
Okay, okay. You want me to be real with you? You want me to be real with you?
Say it! It's okay. It is all fake news. Listen, you know, Cash, he's saying stuff for jokes all the time. He's just joking.
And he's like, I'm doing the same. No. Can you please stop, Matt?
The tears are becoming more and more tears the longer you talk. He's just joking. That is one thing we have in common right now. The more Matt talks, the more tears come from Kate's eyes. So you should probably shut up. I did not mean to make you cry. Why are you crying?
This was a $100 plate? No, the plate's probably, like, $50. What?
Listen, Kinsey wasn't actually mad. She's joking. Harper was completely trolling.
Alright, well, yeah, what are you mad about again?
There is a lot. I'm sorry this episode is so funny. Kate's literally crying right now and we're all just laughing around her.
Get out. Get out of the episode. That really showed us all. And she's gone. And she's gone. And gay back. Well, thank you guys so much for watching this. Me and Kate are going to go to therapy right now. And it's all my fault. I'm so sorry. Wait, wait. Get this on camera. Kate, I love you. I love you a lot. I really love you a lot. Yeah. Me and you to the end. Okay, bye.
Any room could be a rage room. No, please. I'm just going to hit you on the head like this. It's breakaway.
Look how much fun we're having. This is not $50. Do we have another one?
She's like, Harper, Kinsey, we should go to Kendra Scott and go get rings that have the LOL podcast colors and we can all match. Are you saying the same story I just said? Yeah, but you said it lame.
Isn't it crazy how our podcast, like, we just randomly made a name and randomly made the colors and randomly made a logo? Like, we could have ended up with any name, colors, logo, anything. What would you name the pod, Harper?
Wait seriously, what would you have named it?
I'm thinking me and Cash should make a podcast.
We tried that one time actually. No, but I have a genius idea for it. People were watching it, but then we were like, this is too hard. Yeah, but I have a new idea for it.
Like I said, it was being, we were getting like 100,000 views an episode or something. That's embarrassing. It was becoming successful. Also, you know what's embarrassing? Every good idea we had, we had to use on this podcast.
Okay, well, what would you have named the pod, Kate?
See, no one asked that. Yeah. That's what you would have named it.
I'd love to see you girls turn on the cameras.
What? A podcast named Hugs and Kisses. That's just something. Now, Harvard would be calling it like the three man show. What would you have named it?
That's funny. They should give advice. Yes, for like biblical dating.
Matt, what would you have named it? Well, considering we named it this one, that's probably what we'll do. No, but what would you have named it? Because, you know, I came up with this one. See, that's what I thought you were trying to get at.
Kate, you know what you did, so just admit it.
So what would you have named it? Well. I came up with the LOL podcast. Maverick had some weird names. I'm low to convince I came up with LOL. I wonder if I saw the name list. Do y'all remember what else we were deciding between?
That's what it is. Dream guest on my podcast.
Speaking of when we started the podcast, we looked at photos the other day. When we started the podcast, Harper was literally this tall.
Yeah, she couldn't really be that excited that we started a podcast because she was just learning how to speak. She literally has grown, I'm not kidding, over 12 inches.
I went back and looked at that and I was like, oh my gosh, like she actually was like a kid.
Please. Yeah, and then I watched the episodes back and I was like, oh.
Well, I mean, it does look like it's like some. I mean, she was tiny.
Do y'all remember any other names that we were deciding between? Oh, I remember I wanted to name it Exclamation Point.
You think if I throw this at the wall, I can stick it in there?
Matt, please don't. Cash, wash your head. Well, the fact that you would throw while I'm standing here is crazy.
That could have popped open and killed us.
I mean, that's, yeah, that's like highly, that's insensitive towards my life. That wall's wood. It won't go into that wall.
She's gonna try to stab it in the wall.
Do you remember what else we were going to name the podcast?
Right in the ear hole. Right in the ear hole. That was rude, but Kate was literally telling a story. Go ahead.
Dude, oh my gosh. You actually are like, holy cow. She's not in school. She's in daycare. She's like a little elf in this video.
Wait, what did she say, Vian? If you like that one.
What did you say? If you like that, please what? Did you say subscribe? I swear she said subscribe. Wait, wait. Also, I'm sorry.
She's like, I'm going to scream as loud as I can in three, two, one.
Harper right there, that is just the definition of I got it.
I have a pan of water and a cup and a lighter and a match that I built on a boat. And I just start the video and I'm like, okay. I'm just like, watch this. I had this little paper boat with a mat sticking up and a lighter in my other hand and a cup right here. Okay, I have to show you this video. And I put the boat inside my pan of water and it's floating around.
And then I light it on fire and I put the cup over it and all the water got sucked up in the cup. And I was like, isn't that cool? And then the video just ends.
That is something. What else, like, did you learn, Kate?
Nobody can see his face. What do you mean? He just like, hat down, mic in his face. Alright, here we go.
This is the first video I think I ever posted on the internet. No way! Wait, did you find it? I did. Wait, the shower prank? Yes! Yes! I've been looking for that video forever! That's not the one I'm showing, though. Wait, wait, okay, but wait, where did you actually- I have them all here. You have the shower plate? Yeah, but the- Where'd you find it?
Deep in the escalons of Facebook. Wait, was it on Facebook? Huh? Yeah. Dude, me and Matt were vlogging since day one, before Jake and Logan.
On their computer. We would carry a computer around because it had a webcam on it. And we'd just... It literally maps many tiny computer like this. And we'd film videos. So this was one of the first ones. Like our hidden camera was a computer. That I ever filmed.
That's it. The quality. Wait, wait, put it on your mic again. That's it. It's 13 seconds.
This is like in like 2007 six no that was not six not to those six my bro Here we go this is what the legendary one cash is looking for yes, oh This video in forever wait put it right on the mic you gotta hear it.
Catch me outside. How about that? It is greasy.
Alabama, you a fan, Alabama. Ow! Beauty is pegged. Have you heard Danielle's diss track? Wait, Harper, what did y'all have to wear for your tryout? We just have to wear... Oh, my gosh.
Come on, give it to me. Mango flavored fudge.
I have the phone case back on because he asked for it. That's cute. How long has this thing been in props?
The noise it makes when it hits his face. I want to smell it without your whole face getting on it.
Why is it staying together so well? Slap him with it. It don't... That smelled good.
It's fine you can still eat. Oh, it's melted chocolate not on the wall Eat it
I don't know. It just hurts me really bad. This is the pimple before it falls.
We were only going to give it to you for you to eat it. I had no idea what kind of snack it was.
No, you can't. We can all see it falling.
My eyebrows look a little too dark. I didn't notice.
Why would a fire truck turn a finger red?
You go. Are you sure? Yeah. Where's my phone? If y'all look up riddles, I'm pretty good at them.
Okay. Yeah, what was that? I mean, it was good. I just want to know where you learned that.
Are y'all kind of hurt by that? About how he just said that?
I think, were they? Yeah. Yeah, you never let your bow touch the ground in cheerleading.
Well, Harper, unfortunately, your bow might just be touching the ground here.
What if I was walking in to get my shoes because I forgot them and I just see you doing that in the middle of your entryway? I would be so scared.
Hold on, hold on. This is a good feeling. Has Maverick cried to you?
Yeah, let me tell you what happened when that happened.
Well, let me tell you something. My ex started crying to me one time. Really?
He was like, he's like a million dollar man. I'm going to call my mentor now. I was like, okay. Wait, what did you just say? Well, he was like a mentor. And because he was like severely sad that I was like ending things with him.
I didn't call the mentor. He called the mentor.
Oh, yeah, like a million-dollar man. He was like, yeah, it's a multi-million-dollar man. He's my mentor. He was like, I met him at a shop. And I was like, okay. And then he was like, I just got to keep calling him because I'm in a tough spot right now.
And I was like, because I ended things with you. And he was like, don't bring it up. And it was so bad.
Well, yes. You're back together? Yeah. What?
Oh, you just said it like that. Okay, well, kind of. It's an iffy situation.
I know. We sometimes have our up and downs, but...
Right now we're kind of on a break. We're not like completely broken up, but we're kind of broken up because we're kind of on a break right now.
What do you mean by that? Oh, brother. Oh, brother.
I mean, I don't owe you any answers because it was just messed up. Like, I mean, we, we were just low key. We, we, we had hard times and I was hard times. It was like seven days. Hard times. But anyways, sorry. What I was going to say is genuinely, we are on a break right now because I wasn't at school for last week.
No, I'll get to that. But I was just going to tell you that I wasn't at school for three days because I got in trouble for messing around with a friend. Okay.
Because he didn't see me at school and he couldn't interview me for his channel.
Okay, all right. Well, yes, yeah, we kind of just like, ever since I've been in the school of little people, I mean, I'm so sorry.
oh i got you all right i'm sorry yeah well uh well that's good stop okay well what's it called i literally was like um i'm sorry i'm so sorry um the timer keeps on messing with my ocd for some reason not not in a bad way but like so back to the story um right Uh, no, no, it's okay. I don't care.
Um, turn it back. Oh, um, but basically I was just like, um, I was just like, I was just like, um, yeah.
No, I was just like, I told him, I said, since we haven't been able to film and stuff, and since I've been away for three days.
And then you go to not seeing them at all. It was just so...
Well, we're on a break, but I think we're pretty much broken up.
Like, I've been... Ever since that... Ever since that... Ever since that podcast came out, like, I just... He got really mad... Or he didn't get really mad. I got mad at him on the podcast. Yeah. What was that about, though? I was just... I was... Just having a moment. I was just having a moment. And then he asked me if I was on my ladies month. Fuck.
But I was like, I'm not. So what does that make me when I am on it? And so I was like, I was like, uh.
and we've only been dating for about a week so just like like what does it make me when i'm on it but gotta get out of here i would just love to know the answer to my question because y'all can yell at me all you want what is your question but i i believe that the audience is just as confused as i am what are you in jason i already said yeah or i said no you just said you said
I said like if you're saying that cheating or if you're saying like if you're on a break with somebody and you're talking to other guys or like just snapping them, then yes, I am.
So we're on a break right now, but we're kind of basically broken up.
uh wait the situation that like you gotta start talking crap on jason that harper harper's sad that harper's sad that she's like okay let me go from here okay i just think it's like stupid that like he would i don't know like that he thinks it's bad that i'm talking to other girl i mean boys yeah no he didn't you don't he doesn't deserve you he doesn't flat out you guys are great actors i mean i don't know it just hurts me really bad
I know, but why do you keep saying that?
I know, but like, why do I never get anything if I deserve so much?
Read this Bible verse. No, it's read this Bible verse I put on my Insta. Love is patient. Love is kind. See that? Patient. You gotta be patient.
Signing off? Signing off. Signing off a snap. It's too... It's like... Two seconds later after signing off, men are trash.
wait did you you have my number if you need to reach me do people still say that yes everybody's like grounded this is my number if you need it or it's like grounded don't text me blah blah blah we'll do my streaks blah blah blah we'll do my streaks it's so weird that's crazy
You just broke a bunch of girls' hearts. Guys, do you realize that I didn't even get my nails done? I did.
No, she wasn't. She was 10 minutes early.
Yeah, and then we didn't start until 7.30.
Hey, let's talk about more drama. I think the drama is happening. Yeah. Okay. I just feel like a bad kid. I feel like people don't like me. That's not true.
We're on a break, but I think we're pretty much broken up. I just think it's like stupid that like he thinks it's bad that I'm talking to other boys.
I don't think I've ever been asked or asked that question. Maybe in their alone time, they're thinking to themselves.
Those, your legs are so skinny. You're like a little baby.
Dude, recently at school, I've been so embarrassed. Or, well, what's it called? I've, like, not been embarrassed because I've been away. And so it's just, like, I don't need to worry.
I don't need to worry about anything. But now that I am back, people have been texting me being like, what the heck is your TikTok?
So I deleted it. What TikTok? The one that's like, I'm your Uber driver, get in.
I can break a bottle, a root beer bottle, with my hand.
See, it's all about perspective. Wait, you don't even think that it might not be poop. You just automatically thought that it was poop because it's cash.
Yeah. I'm going to self-tan tonight because I'm going to close.
I'm going to. It's not good for you. Do you think I look good pale? I think you look good pale. A girl came up to me the other day.
No, no, no. Let me tell you. A girl came up to me the other day at Open Gym. She's a year older than me. She was like, oh my gosh, you're so pale. What the? I used to get told that all the time, too. And I was like, oh. I was like, I'm also pretty ginger. And then she was like, no, no, no. You're so pale. I just got a spray tan. Let's compare legs. So we compared legs. And she was extremely tan.
Was it orange? Well, I mean, I'm not trying to be mean, but I mean, it was... Well, let's not be mean.
I mean, I'm an orange. I still am orange. You know what's not orange?
We should just name it yellow juice. That's kind of gross, though.
He's bulking? Did you drink that entire thing?
She's going in on the bow. No, no, no. I just need to tell you all my love for her. I know that she grew up with kind of a bad childhood. She made Dr. Phil.
Well, yeah, she was a bad child, but she made Dr. Phil. She was so funny. I don't think she made Dr. Phil either. Well, yes. I think Dr. Phil made her. Well, no. But, like, she's so cool. And she. Are you going to do anything besides glaze? I mean, she had cancer, which isn't good. She did? Yeah, but she just got over it. And she made a diss track on Alabama Barker. And she's killing it.
That one? Yeah. Cash got bored one day and made Gerald.
Dude, that doesn't even fit over Kinetic Avenue.
Well, let me tell y'all something. I quite literally, this morning when I woke up at 5 a.m., What are you whispering about?
What are you on your phone for? I'm not doing anything. Well, this morning when I woke up at 5 a.m.
Just, I had to add in the 5 a.m. I, um, I basically, um, I, oh, yeah, I went in the mirror and I popped a pimple. And I wasn't really thinking that the pimple would have any, like, any much thing, much, or any, any, like.
No, I didn't think the pimple would have much pus in it. Oh, don't say that. Wait, no, now I'm interested.
Then what happened? It was right here on my face. It was like a place where pimples don't usually pop. And so I used my two knuckles. Knuckles? Yes.
And so I pinched it together. what's it called the little juice came out oh the pimple juice I know what you're talking about and then it's like the slight juice before the boom and then and then a bunch of white stuff started coming out and it was the best thing ever yeah it was like the did you guys ever get them when they explode out in the mirror just
You're lying! I'm gonna show y'all a photo.
I went to my tryouts. Don't break it. Don't break it.
Yeah, it's really sad. I feel sorry for the eight passengers. Sorry, let me find it. It's almost here.
It was terrible though. Have you been listening at all?
So sorry, guys. Okay, let's see the pimple, Harper. First, this is the pimple before it popped. I'm going to have to look away.
I'll help you. You need help? I'm not touching that greasy y'all hair. What? What'd she say?
Your dog might have heartworms, but anyways. Is this another pimple? Please warn me. Oh.
It's so gross. Oh, I'm sorry. When was it? Is it over? It was in summer at cheer camp. And all the fans were like, oh, my gosh. What happened? I was like, all right. What happened? Did you get shot in the head? What happened?
Is it bad because you touch it and mess with it?
Why is there a big butthole in your school?
Kate's magic with that kind of thing.
Oh, would you rather? No, that wasn't it. Oh, was that it?
Would, yes. That's where I was.
Okay, you win. Your turn. Okay, I got one. Let me finish. Okay, it's actually, would you rather have a billion dollars or die the most painful death humanly possible ever?
Nope, I have it. I don't know what you just said. I was going to go with the crucifixion. Oh my gosh, the crucifixion.
They don't normally come back to life like Jesus, but yes. You know Prisoners on Death Row? Yeah, but we do to them.
What are you doing Kate what is everybody doing open your mouth dude here we go Oh Alex catch you one Oh What are you doing You present a slideshow
Only took you 500 tries. What are we doing? Kate made a slideshow for us all. Oh, is it about the world's most horrible death?
Okay. I don't know. Let's just keep going. Oh, someone has a gi.
Yeah, I've seen the meme, but I don't want to ask you about Minnesota right now.
The middle one. Yeah, K is pretty and has a giot.
I don't know if you want to see that picture.
Can you turn off your ring notification every time a freaking squirrel walks past it? The point is, is that he was... What's on your face? What?
Is this another Beetlejuice thing?
I don't know. I found it on the ground.
He's really trying to find comments about Kate now. No, that's not what I'm doing. What's he doing, Harper? I'm commenting myself. He's replying back to all of them. You freaking idiot. No, I just wanted to... Replying back to the comments that said you talk too much is crazy. It must be done.
I think we all could use some constructive criticism on the pod.
We should have some criticism with Kate. She cries.
That is not true. She'll be real, man. Tell her what she does bad on the pod. Come on.
No. No, not that. Nothing. What is that? I really can't say it. It's so mean.
Yeah, bleep that. Bleep that. Got a potty mouth over on this side of the room.
It's actually not a bad word, but it also is a bad word, so it's like...
actually sorry it's not even a bad word it's like a phrase that you can't let's move on why'd you say that because it's funny hey it's fine mav what were you saying what i was saying i can't actually say why go ahead well are we gonna have to believe it well look i can probably fix this is it my face no okay then i can be fixed it's perfect guys whoa what is it mav come on
I'm choosing a higher road here. Even though you want me to be mean to you.
Is that why you waited to show me those until we were in front of five cameras with about a million people watching?
Sometimes public embarrassment is the way to go. So it's about publicly trying to humiliate me.
Yeah, that'd be me. My doing. It was your idea. You were just looking for verification from peers that this was a good idea.
I feel like Kenzie doesn't like it.
That's cool. Kenzie, do you not like it when they beef?
Do you not like it when they beef?
Oh, wait. Why'd you tell him that?
He was really playing the role of I am David. I think we all could use some constructive criticism on the pod.
No, I'm just asking, why did you tell me how to be mean? What do you do?
Yeah, she says, I don't care if Kate's mean. Oh, see, now I'm being mean. Okay, see, I can stop.
Can everybody silence their phones?
Everyone's phones have been going off and we're always ignoring it. Unfortunately, I'm going to be... It's not something we should sort out on the podcast.
Fine, we'll play charades. What am I?
Oh, this is easy. All right, Harper, you go now.
Like... Well, you're still Harper, but that was the time when you should have chose something new.
Ready, ready, ready. That's noises again. Have you ever... I don't know if she ever played charades. Do you know what charades is? Cash, you had a good one. Oh, no. Cash, this morning, getting all of his protein.
Hopefully Kinsey knows how to procreate.
No, no, come on, come on. Did I miss something? He can put his legs behind his head. Shut up. Alex, come on. You gotta put your legs behind your head, man.
Whoa! See, I was thinking, like, maybe I could get one, maybe, but two? No, you can't get one.
At least do the crisscrossy things. I feel like I could get one. You don't understand.
Yeah, Alex can do that with two at the same time. No, I can't.
Uh, yes. I witnessed it. Oh my gosh!
That looks like that really hurts.
Wait, Alex, show them the crisscross thingy, please. Just the crisscross thing.
Don't let me sit here and gaslight you for an hour. Come on. Just do it. Alex, come sit here.
No, you guys have got to see the way Alex's joints can move, man. I'm telling you. What have we got to see? Come here. Alex, come sit. Alex, come here, bro. Alex got a new haircut. He's embarrassed.
No, I don't think that had any point to do with it, guys. Come on. Come on. Real quick. Real quick. Yeah. All right. Well, just show us whatever cool circus tricks you can do.
All right. Do the like thingies.
Well, he said I'm not doing that thing. He does a lot of things. He showed me.
He sits like that literally while he's filming the episode. That's his crisscross applesauce. Y'all might not understand, but that is a difficult sitting position. Try it, Harper. Harper's flexible, though. She might can.
No, your ankle's got to go all the way up there. What are you up by your knee?
Wait, how are you doing that math? No math still looks goofy doing it Oh, I know Matt because that legs gotta be this way your bottom leg. Oh Wait, okay. How does never do it to what y'all built weird? What does he look at Harper struggling? That's how I am No, do your legs behind your head? That's what I need to see I do the one I do the one leg
You guys watch. I'm going to be 250 pounds. Are you still thinking about your protein gains?
What do you mean? Just sit behind his head. Looks like he combs his hair like that. All right, Alex, good. What else did you do the other day? I forgot. Oh, do the knee thing where you get on your knees and go backwards. What?
I'm the most inflexible person in this room.
Do it, do it, do it. It's easy. Watch your knees break. I heard it pop.
We moved all the way on to Beast Games. I want to gain 80 pounds.
I know that hurt. He screamed like a little girl. Did you hear him? Matt, I will give you $5 if you can sit on your butt. That's not that hard. It's not hard at all. Five up at the ten. Okay. Really? No. I went for money, man.
Can we talk about Beast Games? Have you watched it? Yeah. Have you finished it? Did you? Honestly, should we just give away the winner right now? Yeah, we'll give it away right now. No, no, don't give away the winner.
Can we please see two feet behind the head? Oh. You can do it for a second. Wait, Matt, Matt, do it, do it, do it. No, he can't do it. I just need to show him. Harper, can you do it too? Yeah, it's very easy. No, me and Michael have tried this. Okay. What? Okay, do the other thing where you fall back. Where you lay on your legs and you fall back. Yeah. Yeah, but it's cool because you do it.
No, just put the legs on the mat. Let me see you do that, Mav. Cash, are you kidding me right now? Please stop.
No, I'm stopping you from embarrassment. I'm stopping you from any more embarrassment. No. I'm thinking, please, cool, that's not. No, please do that. No, no, no. You're done. Can somebody do that?
Everyone in this room can do that. Now sit on your butt.
Sit on your butt there. Now go backwards. Yeah, Mav. Everyone in this room can do it. Kate just got scared of falling. She's fine.
Y'all knees feel different man. No, I can't.
My knees will snap. Snap in half.
If somebody gave away the winner, we'd still win.
What's wrong? You look so stupid right now. Do you know how stupid you look?
Yeah, sit like that, Mav. Are you kidding me? I'm so done with you thinking, like, everyone can't sit down. How do you do that? No, Mav, you can't do that.
You never wanted to draw on the bottom of your foot? So you just sit like that? I can barely see the bottom of my foot when I want to. You can't see the bottom of your foot? It's a stressful situation when I need to look at the bottom of my foot. Do you touch your toes even? I can do that.
How do you make your toenails trimmed? Well, I can obviously do this.
Apparently your tricks weren't very cool for Maverick.
The double foot behind the head would have been very impressive. The single foot was still impressive.
Comment down below if you guys can do those tricks. See, Mav, you're saying everyone can do this. Look at Harper can't even get it.
Kate's still worried about her self-help journey. Stop worrying.
But you'll just think I'm wrong. That's absurd.
Yeah, you will. Whatever I say, you'll just be like, eh, he's stupid.
You say it, and then we'll all vote if it's true or not.
Because I say we're not going to talk about it, and you guys keep pestering me until we talk about it. Mav, you literally did it every episode. Come on. I think Kate is a great person. Good job.
Who earns a bag like that? Buns are on the floor, Mav.
And he's... Yeah, once he said, Kinsey thinks it's two, I figured out it was a troll. No, it's not a troll. Yes, it is.
Fix your mic, bud. Don't need that. Fix your mic, bud. You're crooked. Always crooked.
That might have been the fattest statement I've ever heard in my entire life from anyone.
Kate. What? Like, it's not like... It's just... Let me put it this way. The problem is you... I'm going to get in so much trouble for saying this. All right. The problem is you...
look at things from a perspective of like not that you're better than everyone else but like but like oh things just got good i'm here for the drama yeah but like like you know like let's say he's like trying to make up stuff that not sound bad it's just getting let's say somebody does something and you do something but you don't even know the other person did something
But you know you did something.
So you're just going to assume that person did nothing. You have a talent for losing people.
Like, throughout this whole time, you've even made lots of statements like, oh, what, do you have a problem with me being your maid? Do you have a problem with me being, like, blah? I do clean a lot. Do you have a problem with me?
And any good things you do. So, but what you didn't name was like, oh, Maverick, do you have a problem with, you know, maybe this thing I do or maybe this other thing I do?
You only name the good things because you think you're perfect. I don't think I'm perfect. I was here for the drama at one point and now I would do anything to not be here.
Kate, we gotta see the string test. Hold on.
Is that not true? I actually think she's better than everyone else.
Okay. Yes. See, she's very aware of everything she does. She even said it in her own statement.
I'm gonna get in so much trouble for saying this. The problem is you look at things from a perspective of like, you're better than everyone else.
I mean, I do that a lot. Not every day, but I do it a lot.
Wait, what are you doing? Sideways, sideways, sideways, bud. Wow, the camera saw everything.
After I reminded him. What the?
I didn't want to hear about any of this. I told you.
Oh, are you trying to get into identity theft? I know a guy.
Okay. They tried to get Kate today.
Dude. Yeah, when we were growing up, people used to steal from us all the time.
There was a time, middle of the night. I used to steal things. He did. I remember one time he stole a bunch of candy. I did. And he had to go back into the store and return it. I thought it was free. It was.
Dude, I thought the car was free.
Who puts a candy bowl at the checkout counter
Dude, I mean, I could take that mozzarella stick and just shove it up your ear.
Yeah. What? And people not assume it's free in individual packaging.
I don't know, but if you can't read, if you can't read, you can't see. You assume it's... You were old enough to read. How old were you? How would I know? What do you mean how would you know? He was like 15.
How would I know? Because it was a long time ago.
Not old enough. First of all, what did your dad do? Because I don't know if that was normal. What are you talking about? What do you mean our dad putting cameras up?
Sideways. But there was also, you did it very poorly.
I wish he had cameras pre like when we were like pre at home still. Not pre at home. Whatever the word I'm looking for. I wish he had cameras when we still lived at home.
One time there was this guy. Well, it was the middle of the night. I believe it was like August 31st. Wednesday afternoon. What? Wednesday evening. Sorry. And this guy, while we're sleeping, starts breaking into our garage.
He's breaking into the garage. Could it be next? Has anybody's house actually ever been... We hear... That's what we hear inside. We're like, oh, gosh.
Someone's breaking into our garage. So then... My dad comes out midnight in his underwear with a pistol. Yes. And he starts shooting it in the air saying, I'm going to kill you. He's running around saying something like that. I don't know his exact words, but he was running around just like saying, if I see you, I will kill you.
And then the person takes off running and he starts shooting at the person.
That's what I do every time, dude.
I knew I inherited it from somewhere because every time I walked to that garage I shouted the exact same thing, but nobody was there, but I was always scared there was To go out to the garage at night by myself keep in mind We live in the country and our garage is not attached to our house. It's like a football field away so
I would have to go out to the garage to turn off the light at night every once in a while. And it was dark. 10 p.m., 11 p.m., sometimes pushing midnight. And then I would be terrified. And I would walk around like in a 360 walking outside. And I'd be like, I know you're out here. I know. Okay, I'm going to hurt you if you come out here. I got a gun. Imagine being the burglar, though.
And then as soon as I would hit the light to turn off the light in the garage and the button to close the garage door, I'd book it back to the house.
Honestly, I'd be scared of a little 10-year-old boy who's like, I got a gun.
What's crazy is Cash, I remember watching him out the window, and he'd be literally walking in circles. Yeah, and this guy was not a good sibling at all. I'd be like, man, please come out there with me. Please, man.
Somebody's cooking something. That smells bad.
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Dude, that popcorn smells so bad. And I was like, and every once in a while he would tell me, fine, I'll watch you from the window. And then I'd be like, you know what? That'll do. And I'd go outside. He's like, you got my six. And I'd be like 20 steps out. And I look back, and he is not out the window.
Yeah, he definitely runs back from putting the trash cans out sometimes. I'd be lying if I say we didn't go on a camping trip last summer. When I had to go take a wee, I ran back. It's still sticking on my pants, bro.
It's terrifying because this guy took me out in the woods in Colorado where there are bears and elk. And you know what the elk make? That does not sound like an elk. It sounds like ghosts are all around you. It's like, oh, come on, hurry up and pee. And Loki did sound like screaming women just all around. It's like, oh! That's what it sounds like. And you're like, oh, God! This is what it sounds.
And I'm just there with my pants down. Quick! But once you're in that magical little tent, nothing can touch you.
Is that weird? When I was in the tent, I was like, even if a bear comes, he ain't getting through my tent. I always had so much faith in that tent. I had a dream the other night that we went to Montana and went camping.
And it's actually grizzly country.
So are you down this year to go to grizzly country?
Cash, I'm asking you a question. I could ride a grizzly.
It doesn't count if it was at a zoo.
Haven't died not even once. Welcome to my life. One time.
I've been solo camping at the lake nearby.
See, that's a no-go. You can't do that. If a bear is going to attack, you must be in the tent together.
They're obviously not very good Boy Scouts.
Knock on his door and everything. Sorry.
So this guy. Everyone says that to the parents. So his buddy's getting killed by the bear. And he stayed in his tent.
They're really not very good boy scouts because I would never go into bear country without a gun.
I will go in there, but I will bring.
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Yeah, I was going to ride a bear and then I was going to kill a bear. And I forgot. I remember we were talking about getting robbed. Oh, yeah. Speaking of getting robbed, my car got robbed one time. Yeah, and guess what they stole? My stuff. They broke into Matt's car and stole my stuff. Shouldn't have left it in an unlocked car, man. And they stole our friend Michael's stuff.
Everything besides Matt's stuff.
Yeah, but I still didn't learn his lesson.
Wait, hold up. So they went in there and was just like, where's the social?
Wait, people actually broke into your home. Wednesdays are dangerous.
No, no, they broke into your house, though, that you were currently living in.
Okay, wait, wait, wait. Tell the story, seriously. There's mustard everywhere.
Make fun of her for it. No, we have time. Don't worry.
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You have a lot of stories with bipolar people.
Imagine if I told you that, Mav. I'm going to go to Walmart. I'm going to do something bad. I'm going to go to Walmart. It's going to be bad.
What? Okay, sorry. Yeah, we should stop doing that. It's definitely not the LOL podcast. Last time we did that, the guy got killed. Okay, I'm going to try to go fast.
Wait, what did he do in the beginning to make the whole town shut down?
First, you've got to find a bad guy at Walmart.
Meanwhile, he's inside trying to become your uncle.
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He was really playing the role of I am David. He's like, I gotta feed my chickens.
Okay, is no one gonna talk about it? No one's gonna talk about it. Fine. We'll talk. Yes, it is true. I ate 176 grams of protein just in my breakfast.
That's crazy. This guy literally broke into your house and trying to impersonate your dad. Literally using his razor and everything to try to literally be part of your family.
And that is why I'm scared of the dark. See, nothing like that ever happened to me. I just didn't like the dark.
No. Everyone should be scared of the dark. You should be. If you can't see...
What? Imagine you come home, he just cooked the chickens for breakfast.
Well, anyways, guys, thank you so much for watching this episode.
I wasn't going to intercept it. Why were you worried? I'm very good at catching mozzarella sticks.
Everybody stop. You guys hear that? No. This is going to take a very talented person to hear this. No one?
No. Okay, I'm built different. What is it? What are you talking about? There's a sound. What sound? Nobody knows. Shut up. And the sound goes ow, ow, ow.
Am I crazy or was that said? Hey, am I crazy or can you talk into your mic?
You're crazy. Oh, look, here's one.
Do you want to see my protein drinks?
My protein intake is higher than any gym goer ever unless they're on roids.
Okay. You know what? You can get your own water now.
Do I get paid for it though? That was a crazy inside joke. You guys want to understand.
Hey look Kinsey's wearing Adidas.
No hat. Editor will be happy now. Well, I mean, honestly, that is an accomplishment.
Yeah, so you can go get a water.
Yeah, it moves around when you close your eyes. Don't blink.
Anyways, I tried to buy a shirt yesterday because I had a Dick's Sporting Goods gift card. And I went to the store to find out what I wanted to purchase for my Christmas gift that Kate's uncle got me for Christmas. And I go there and I'm like, I think this is the one, Kate. And I go out of the dressing room and she's like... No. I was like, what? Wait, that shirt?
Wait, you haven't heard the story. I walk out and she's like, no, you're not wearing Adidas.
How many times do I gotta freaking tell you?
I'm not going to. We're in the middle of a podcast. We're not offering you food. Yes. This man throws away his food all the time and won't offer it to anyone. Instead, he lets it rot on the floor. If you'd like it. Yeah, give it to me. Sonic's not good after a long time.
Oh, boy. Okay. Good luck, Morgan.
There's a burger everywhere Can I defend myself on the story gosh was telling before he raged over oh, yes, please do oh
That was crazy to throw an open burger at me. I threw it in the freaking thing. Yeah, well, it came out of the thing, so on the throwback, it had to be... Stop!
These are my brand new jeans, and if you got mustard on them... All right, well, my new clothes have mustard all over them, so I'll be bad. BRB. I mean, I'm not, like... See... I'm not hiding anything.
Who eats that kind of burger? If you eat burgers with yellow stuff in them, you're just, there's something wrong with you.
Don't keep drinking it. Don't stop.
girls can get their license and we're not all dead. It's crazy, man.
Would you guys like to play? Sure. I have a really good one.
Why did you say it like a child? I've been thinking about this one all day. I've asked everyone. Why are you checking it out, Alex? Alex already knows it's such a good one. What is it? Okay. Would you rather have a billion dollars? Okay. Okay. Okay, hurry up.
All right, Matt, play would you rather. I'll go second.
Okay. Yeah, you're really killing it. Would you rather? If you absolutely had to. Okay. No.
I pulled into the corner bakery, and then I bumped a car.
The biggest animal I could take an elephant
No, genuinely maybe like a Yorkie. With your bare hands. A Yorkie? No.
Oh, genuinely a Chihuahua because they're kind of mean. No, that's easy. That's small too.
That's not a Cocker Spaniel. That is. It is?
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. We got some. What did you just do?
I think you feel better. Your skin looks really good today. Thanks. Thank you. No, I swear I'm not sad. Because my sister said the same thing. She was like, did you draw on those abs? And I was like, oh, my gosh. So then I showed her in the car. And then she was like, oh.
well my mom asked if i'm not eating and i was like no i am you're not eating while i'm having a cinnamon in my mouth so or a cinnamon bun oh so well i feel bad that you're sad so do you want your birthday gift no i'm not sad i'll take it if she doesn't want it i'm not okay okay well you're not sad so you're happy but do you want your birthday sure thank you okay okay thank you thank you thank you for my birthday okay but i would say it was a little inappropriate to post
It's so weird. Ew. What a fatty.
This is from all of us, Harper. Oh, my gosh. Stop. This is, like, a little karaoke. What? You got a karaoke mic? It's for her car. Just my car thing. Yeah. I was going to buy one for my car because we were singing and had so much fun.
Yeah. Well, you're not Harper. Oh, my gosh. A smartphone car mount.
You're going to stretch it out.
Yeah, I might have to put that through the wash.
Oh my gosh. Oh wow. So nice guys. That's insane. Bronco.
Yeah, but I don't have it anymore. You don't have your driver's license? No, I have it, but I'm grounded from my car. Already? What? What? Are you actually? Wait, pull your mic closer. Yes, I'm grounded from my car.
Wait, wait. It's been like, has it even been seven days? No, it's been four days.
No, it's been three days. Pay up.
What? Yeah, well, I was eating at Corner Bakery. Wait. What?
Okay. So, I was eating at Corner Bakery. And... Oh, this is the first day I got my car. First day. So, I was driving around everywhere. I drove my friend to her work. I drove everywhere. Like... Okay, you're scaring me, but I drove everywhere. Fine. And I don't really know how to park that well, but I did it pretty well. So I went into Corner Bakery because it was like the end of the night.
And my friends, they were going to... your friends went my friends were going to a baseball game i didn't want to drive all the way over there because it was like 30 minutes and i just got my license and i'm a good driver right so um so or i'm not like the best driver yet so you know um Thank you. Thank you.
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Dude, let me tell you something. That's fine. I have a phone for audio books. Last night, I was so tired I went to bed at 8. That's crazy. Past my bedtime. That sounds so exciting. Why did I just do that? Okay, well... What did you do this weekend?
Well, no, I had a sleepover at a hotel, and we stayed up watching movies and Barbie and Netflix.
Well, we... So we wouldn't just have, like... So lame.
There was a fan next door, so I didn't want to be too loud. So it was me and two other friends, and we stayed in Southlake, and we literally just, so we shopped, and then we were going to go to dinner, but then we realized we weren't too hungry, and so we just took photos. Is this story in good?
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yeah and then um and then we uh just went back to the hotel and then my mom ate dinner with my dad and then she helped us set up the netflix and um yeah i went shopping this weekend too i got a new shirt cool story no i was trying to show you guys my shirt what i got a new shirt this weekend born to yap i thought it'd be great for the podcast yep born to yap
i know it was an accident period we will get with your dad once we know how much it will cost well that was dude imagine it was like i i'm in the middle of getting a new truck imagine she hit my new truck she leaves me her number and i'm like what and then i said i call her she won't answer i'm like what i said i said thank you miss period or i said thank you miss without a period she read it yesterday and i just want to call her and
just hand her the money and just be done with it and have my car back. She's fine now.
Well, no, my parents were like, we're not going to go through insurance because that's going to get my car insurance. Oh, my insurance will go.
Oh, no, but just to let you know, Kay also hit a car with three cars when she was 16. All right.
Okay, to be fair, the wind that day that my car hit her... It was insane.
I'm not going to lie. It's so scary driving. Yeah, it can be.
well you know he was he was frustrated it didn't do any damage to my car so my dad when i told him that story he did 360 around my car and nothing was wrong with it yeah and i just i'm just so sad that i'm grounded from the car but i understand that i lied it could be worse people sometimes when people get like literally like when you bump someone's car there have been times where people are like i want an ambulance because if an ambulance comes out they get they get more money out of it my
Yeah. Yeah. Well, when I'm like 20, I'll tell my mom everything I've ever done.
Yeah. That's the normal route. If you would have told your mom that you hit the car when you hit the car, she wouldn't have been as mad.
The thing is, there's, like, okay, like, I'm not just saying this so my mom can hear it, but there's, like, nothing else that, like, she knows. She's found out everything through the internet.
See, Missouri's far away from Oklahoma.
If he was going there, he should have just come here.
Oh, my gosh. You're so, like, desperate.
That's, like, really disgusting.
Yeah, but did you even get grounded?
Yeah, I'm just sad because I just got my license, and I feel like maybe I should just be nice to my mom so I can get my license back.
Maybe you should be nice to your mom because she's your mom.
Yes. Are you freaking out? Yes, because the next thing that happened was I pulled out of the shops, and I go into the oncoming traffic lane where the cars are coming in. Yesterday, at like 5, my mom gives a text on Facebook saying, your daughter crashed into my car. I need your insurance, like immediately.
Yeah, well, let me just tell y'all. I was literally posting this weekend. And my friends were taking photos of me. And they were like, oh, dang, those abs look good.
I need to show off my abs. You clearly don't believe that I have them.
On everything. Okay, actually, do you think that I drew those on?
No, I didn't. Chat GBT. I promise on everything. Like, on everything.
No, it's actually... Are you ready?
Okay, but do y'all think the post is a little inappropriate now that I'm looking at it? Well, we all weren't going to say anything. I know, but do these look drawn on?
I think those are called shorts. Next up, we're going to be trying on shorts.
My sister asked me the same thing. If I draw on abs, I self-tanned.
Did you, like, tan the... The lines? No, I just tan my whole stomach, and then it always tends to give me abs.
Yeah, no, I don't want, I don't want people.
Okay, yeah, but that's embarrassing, because I don't want people, I don't want people to think that I drew on abs, because that's just highly embarrassing. Nobody edits their stomach or their photos, so. Well, some people do. I know, but I don't want y'all to think that I do, so I promise I don't. That's okay.
Dude, okay, I'm sorry. I cannot get off this topic. I could just see you looking at my... You're going to. No, I could just see you get on my Instagram post and be like, oh my gosh, look at Harper's post. She thinks she's like... Dude, she's so embarrassing.
Guys, I'm sorry. I literally... Cash, did you fart? Dang it.
Wait, I archived it. I archived it.
I'm embarrassed. It looks like I actually drew them on.
Yes, that's so embarrassing. We were literally kidding. No, because it is a little inappropriate. My stomach is kind of all out.
It's like me posting it in a swimsuit, and I don't do that.
Yeah, that was rude. I don't think I said that. It was really rude. I would not, I would divorce him right after that. Yeah.
No, what was it? No, you don't even know. Was it a bad word? Now you're talking things at little girls.
Well, do y'all want to know the story? Yeah. Oh, you have a story too? Yeah. Well, I was in Costa Rica just having a grand old time, you know? I look at my cameras or actually, no, no, no. Cameras? No, no, no. You just have paparazzi? No, no, no. I look or I look at my- Papa had a main character moment.
No. OK. Well, anyways. Yeah. I mean, I do know that. But like anyways. So I was in Costa Rica. I checked my phone and I see my best friend's little brother texting me. Hey, blah, blah, blah. Said that she's going to TP you. My ex best friend. Yeah.
Who very wronged me. In the nicest way possible.
So I'm like, oh, okay. Great. So I look at my camera. We only have a doorbell camera. So I always see a little bit.
My ring doorbell camera. So I see a little flap of toilet paper. And I was like, oh my gosh, are you kidding me? She really did. But my mom was like, that's not toilet paper. And I'm like, honey, it might just be a trash in the tree. I'm like. Who puts trash in trees? So we get home.
And not put it in the trash can. So I got so mad. Yeah. Yeah. And then.
What's that called? Dallas Cowboys cheerleader?
Yes, I did. Yeah, she posted a picture last night. Oh, you did? Extremely. It was deep in the tree. Yeah, that was deep.
Marquette's. Is that what it's called?
Okay, well, do y'all want to TP her house with me?
I think we would do that. I think we would. Dude, I would never do that. I'm not... What? Okay, listen. TP's fun. Have you ever TP'd anybody? No, I haven't. What? Oh, it's so fun. It's vandalizing... Listen, no.
She's like, I've been talking trash on this girl and it was y'all.
Okay, I'll be more happy if y'all TP'd me and not. Oh, we're back. Okay, okay, okay. Tell me if y'all TP'd me or not. I won't be mad.
Guys, there is quite literally a chip stuck in my throat. I hope it gets out soon.
Oh! That's not my house. Why would you do that to somebody?
Let me see. Y'all didn't weenie my yard.
Wait, was it funny? No, it's not fair. I didn't know. I didn't know y'all were like that.
I took hot dogs. Wait, what do you mean you didn't know we were like? Stuck them on a stick and stuck the stick in the ground in the yard. I didn't know y'all were like that. Like, I didn't know y'all had fun like that. No, y'all is not like that. So do y'all want to have fun? Y'all is not like that. Do you want to come to my hangouts and TP people?
Oh, yeah. And then I checked my car and there's a few scratches on it.
Wait, they keyed your car? There's scratches on it. Was that too far? I didn't know. No shot. A dust storm came. My car was outside. They sent a dust storm? No, my car was out the whole time in Costa Rica. I haven't drove it very much, and I find some scratches on it. Not like a key scratch, but just like genuine fingernail scratches. Probably you. No, I don't. I bite my nails.
I dice rolled. Wait, I'm sorry. Yeah. I DC'd.
That's crazy. Put them in his mailbox. His mailman found it the next morning.
If y'all tell me what y'all did to the truck, I'll tell you everything I've ever done.
Wait, I want to know the story. She won't tell anybody. I won't tell anybody until I'm 18.
Now you're being tried as an adult. Gotcha. I swear, is it as bad as what I've ever done? I don't know.
Nothing to somebody's house or property.
No. I'm going to Chipotle with my friend.
Yeah, one time somebody TP'd me. I've been TP'd so many times. Really? It's insane. Because people send my address out, and it's really annoying. So please stop doing that. But, no, I...
uh what's it called some one person wrote on in spray paint or chocolate on my driveway like chocolate it was like wait they spray painted chocolate no i need to get that what is that it was like oh that would be so good but um spray chocolate they did this like bad sign i can't really say it but they did a sign on my driveway and like said a bunch of bad words down the driveway and i was like oh my gosh like what is your like why like crazy yeah so then we got cameras yep yeah
Okay, my hear-me-out is John Pork. The pig?
That's how it says it. Hey. You got a cake. I got cake, man. Thank you. Thank you.
, , , , , ,,, P P P P P P P P P P實, ac , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P It's a real person.
I even know what that is and I don't even know. What is emoting?
Who's Ferb? I always thought Phineas was the cuter one. What? No, Ferb is.
Yeah, Alaska Woman. Judy Hopps is thick.
Subtle foreshadowing. I don't like this at all. His middle name starts with an M, and his middle name starts with an M. Milo. Okay.
Guys, I think there's a chip in my throat. I'm not kidding. A chip? Oh, that happens to me sometimes.
They had a zebra. Okay, but actually, where were y'all?
We got to show the video Yes howler howler howler how like it makes it if you know It's like if you hear like if you feel like the end of the world's coming, that's just the sound of a howler monkey Oh
That's not chase. Oh, you got chased by the cow. Oh, my God.
Guys, I wish I spun my whole spring break with y'all.
I don't know. Look, and then this lemur jumped on Kai. Is that a lemur?
Soft plug. Trying to get you 10 million subs.
yeah so we're gonna be doing like all different kinds for cash them out dude y'all have such good ideas oh well thank you no one's done that one what no one's done that yeah okay so it'll be like okay we'll be the first people to do it okay yeah what do you mean are you gonna try to do it before us no no she's like yeah she puts it out before us like what the plans the whole video so how is your spring break
We didn't have spring break, Harper. Y'all seemed like it. We worked the whole time. Okay, yes. That's not spring break.
I definitely don't. I go just like this. Can you hold this? Thank you. I'm like this. And Stella goes, and I go.
What's going on? No, Stella never fights back when she's about to throw up. She's like, oh, Kinsey's going to come get me and take me to a safe spot where I'm not in trouble. Because she gets in trouble if it's on the carpet. So she's just like, please, please take me to where I need to be.
No, but actually, I didn't tell you this. You were frustrating me this morning.
Because it was like 3 a.m., and I can't remember exactly what you were saying.
was it 5 30 oh okay whatever anyways it was early and i go into the bathroom with stella and i'm trying to take care of her and you're like saying something to me through the doorway from the dark bedroom where you sleep on the nice cozy bed and you were like did you clean that up i can't believe she would do that and you're like just you're like you're like oh i'm sure she ate some underwear again didn't she can't and just talking bad about her and i was like shut
shut up and so i didn't respond to you that's the same thing i did to kate i was like yeah kate that's why i don't want a dog and i'm just laying in bed like yeah that's what i told you and then i just ignore every single bit of what you were saying so i assume that you just thought i didn't hear you but i heard every single word and then i walk back into the bedroom and you're like yeah it was underwear huh and i was like
Me and Mav decided this morning on the way to church that we're going to build a jungle gym upstairs in our house.
Oh my gosh, I would love that. For me, y'all would make it for me?
All over the house? Well, well, wait, wait. We compromised and we said upstairs. I don't care what happens upstairs.
This is supposed to be, I think, the call.
Oh, you were definitely not doing that.
I don't know. You'd have to ask her. Oh, wait, they put their thumb out? Yeah, they were raiders.
I don't know. Ask Haley. Well, this is an R in sign language.
Well, they have to do that because kids will just take advantage of it.
It's to keep the whole class from just going crazy and everyone's just, I gotta go to the restroom and just go.
Yeah. It's just so annoying. Like, what?
We had a sound meter on the wall in our cafeteria in elementary school and in intermediate school, which is like fourth and fifth grade. And so if like the decibel hit a certain thing, then the meter would turn red and you had to be quiet.
Thank you. Did you see? I learned to raise my hand growing up. Take my turn. No, but, like, if you only have 10 teachers to 500 students, you have 50 kids in a class.
You have to have those rules. And also, what would take you maybe 10 minutes to learn, now you're teaching it to 50 kids. It does take a while. It might take you an hour and a half. So, where a, like, homeschool kid might only need three hours a day for school, if you're in school, you probably need, like, seven or eight hours just because there's so many kids to get there.
There's 20 kids in your class.
No, not everyone's built that way.
I bet Cash, you were that little boy in the shower growing up who sang like all the ingredients on the shampoo bottle.
Wait, y'all should get the grandpas. So James and then your dad and they'll dress up like babies.
That's hilarious. And they wrestle each other.
Look at Cash's chair. A cookie. He's acting like he's riding a bull. I got cookies downstairs. Yeah.
Wait, can the cookie be my end table?
You put your foot over the drain hole and you didn't have a stopper?
Let's shock everyone and make it be Kinsey's channel.
When I was little, like four years old, I really, really, really loved Ariel from The Little Mermaid, and I really wanted to be her.
And when I was little, I had like bleach blonde, like almost white curly hair, and I dyed it red, and my mom bawled her eyes out.
Like four. My grandma helped me. Oh. How did you get that? Well, I asked my grandma to do it and she was like, okay. And then my mom came to pick me up and she was like, why would you do that? And I was like, look how pretty I am.
Did you do it with actual hair dye?
I did that thing one time. I think I was like 13 or 14. I did it with Kool-Aid in the summertime. My mom let me dye the ends of my hair.
You remember Arthur? DW is his sister and she's an anteater. I thought he was a mouse, but apparently he's an anteater. Yeah. No.
He doesn't look anything like that.
They're like, that doesn't look right.
Oh my gosh, that's terrifying.
Wait, can we put that on the screen? I saw that.
Can we put that on the screen or no?
The Shrek I know is like, he's like cool, you know?
I really, really, really, really, really want that to be. No, you can do this. I want that cookie as my desk.
What are you saying? You for sure broke the cookie.
It's my ring. That's pretty. I like your nails. Cool ring. They are pretty. Thank you.
Oh, wait. No, she's about to do it.
That was crazy to throw her brand new keys. Keys? Yeah, keys. Oh, they're keys! Yeah, for, uh... Oh!
He was looking up baby cocker spaniels to replace honey one day. He wants a dog.
Let's get a car tour. This is a crazy spot to do a car tour.
Listen, try not to step in the red clay so you don't get it in your car.
Oh, wait. Look at this little compartment here. Oh, yeah. That's nice. Does anybody know? She got a car.
What do you think it is? It is a funnel.
No! And you just pee like this. No, no. That's not appropriate! That's not what it's for! Okay, put the schlamp in there.
Hurry, let's leave him. Hurry, hurry.
Several people have told Kate that Honey has gained some weight and so now she's self-conscious.
Are you sick? I need to hear the national. Okay, hold on.
She said that's not where it starts. Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle.
That's a banger, too. That's just a pledge.
No in Texas you say the text We always did it the first thing in the morning.
Wait, do you have a school high school song? Uh, no.
It's kind of like slow and like. What? Hallelujah. Livingston High School.
It gets better because midway through it's like, school, wait, what the?
Can you say that again? School we love.
You were talking about... Mine is long, too. It's just so deep in my brain because in a smaller town, you have everyone in the town is the same mascot and they go to the same high school. A band of English marauders. Yeah, so you learn it from birth till you graduate.
Okay, that's crazy. So that's our mascot.
Marauder. At least you're not the devils. We used to play this team that were the devils. And since we were playing the girls, we played the devilettes.
Do y'all not do it after every single game? Like, the sports team, whichever sport it is, they line up, and then the fans all do it, and you're, like, facing each other and, like, whatever you're... They might have, but I don't... Oh, I found the Henrietta one, too.
You just coughed up a lung. Nobody wants to recognize that.
No, just stop. Why do you do this? You're like, let's bring up every single issue in our lives and we'll say it to the world.
You're already tan, though. You're not like me and Harper. Me and Harper are white as can be. Sorry, but it's true. We both are.
I don't know what else you want me to say, okay? Also, I get it. They give me two big sweet teas. Two big jugs, okay? Actually, not jugs. They're just cups. And I set them on the ground, and then somehow they spilt over, and then I stepped in a pool of sweet tea. Wait, jugs? No.
Oh, no. But you didn't tell me this. I didn't say she wasn't. Kinsey said, Kinsey literally told me, wait, why don't we just shoot it now and then go shopping later?
That might have been the faintest thing I've ever seen when you think I am a baby. What do you mean? Got your nose. Got your nose!
I have a sprinkle. Look, look. I don't see, there's a little, oh wait, there is a sprinkle.
Swallow the plastic. Good boy. What the?
Why are y'all eating the sprinkles?
They're good. You want one? No, I don't want any plastic sprinkle.
Yeah, honestly, it wasn't funny at all. What the?
I don't know when I'm on that Donald Trump. I don't know what. Yeah, Mac Miller? Whoever that is?
Yeah, I mean, I'll do it for you.
Sorry, what's your question?
You have more time left to live, you know?
Mass actually has everything to do with everything. Nope. You drop a penny and like a book off the Eiffel Tower.
It's Butters. Oh, Butters? You know what Butters is?
Okay, we can experiment here. I can spit on you right now.
And then I'll go up there and I'll spit on you.
Wouldn't you be a little weirded out by toilet paper?
No. Kenzie, what'd you give me?
Oh, she actually got me some. I didn't expect anything.
I actually will take this one.
I know you didn't really put any thought.
It's dingy. I will eat these right now.
I should keep eating my chicken.
Wow, making plans on my birthday and not even inviting me is crazy.
Why only two friends? Because... Is that all you got?
What do you mean? My mom and dad left on my birthday. What? They went to... Left? Europe. No, Cancun. And Europe. No, St. Martin. They went to a vacation. And Europe. I think they always travel on your birthday. It was a cruise, yeah. My birthday is perfect travel time for them. Maverick... Started dating Kinsey on my birthday to steal my thunder.
And now today, Harper plans her birthday at my birthday.
Alex walked in the door. First thing he said to me was, happy birthday, man. Soon as he saw me. Same thing. Texted me while I was at the gym. Happy birthday. Yeah. Michael, you wouldn't even believe it. The last guy you'd expect to wish me a happy birthday. I walked upstairs. He goes, happy birthday, Cash.
Maverick went twice in the last like two months with me and Alex.
And guess what? Me and Alex go there.
You know, I'm not even capping. I've seen Harper at the gym just as many times as I've seen Matt at the gym.
No, you don't. But I've seen you at LA Fitness a couple times and I've seen Mav less than that.
I do LA Fitness with you too to play basketball when you go.
I've almost had a million on YouTube. Maybe I'll get there this month.
Wow, Kate's going to get a million.
Do you get a plaque at a million?
If it makes you feel better, my million plaque is going to be shrunk too. I'm getting a fun size million.
Imagine if they sent me a full size million plaque. She'd be so mad.
in my mind i was like man i'm growing i'm finally getting to their level somewhat not really but kind of and no i i'm so tired of you acting like you're just struggling to make it through because i took me three years three years of my life to get one million followers on tiktok oh my god i mean that's just something you keep to yourself and she's like she's like i just it's taking me six months
Why don't you like them?
Harper, stand up next to it so we can get a size comparison. It's about the size of my torso.
I mean, YouTube started making it way too easy to get subscribers, so they had to shrink it.
It's like it was out of budget or something.
It's like you open a Mini Brands.
Are you kidding me? Have you seen a million plaque that size?
I don't know if he did.
It's because it's easier to get subscribers now. Are you. Now is your chance to start posting.
What if we hit 10 million on the pod this year? I'll start crying.
You know me better.
And then also... But not as autotune as theirs.
And then Kay and Kinsey are gonna mix something up together. We should. Kai and Ty music.
Hey, can you write us a song?
You know how Cash and Mav and Queen B, they're just kind of there, but no one knows why? Maybe it could be like Harper and then Kate and Kinsey in that way.
There's a new Queen B. And then Kate and Kinsey are like, everyone step aside, there's a new Queen B. Well, I would like to disagree with that statement.
Were you actually on the actual song?
It's kind of like when your little cousin is at the hangout and your mom's like, you guys got to let him hang out with you, you know?
Yeah. And Queen B. And Kate and Kenzie and Harper.
Can you give us a live performance of Space Cowboy real quick? No, that's okay Do the force thing and mav like fly back I
I feel like it should have. Or was it the country girls? They were like dancing. They were like... Yeah, the country girls were dancing.
Space Cowboy. Should you guys refilm Space Cowboy? But instead of hiring three girls like y'all did, you put us three as the girl dancers?
Whatever it takes is...
That's like Mr. B. We're 200,000 views away. We'll probably be there by the end of today. They posted it the same day the Spider-Man trailer called Whatever It Takes came out. Oh, actually. So they dropped their song called Whatever It Takes. That's so smart. Did y'all do that on purpose?
That's what Cash told me.
That you guys dropped your.
And Matt on the motorcycle looking. Oh, I don't care what movie it was. I just know there was a big movie trailer that was like whatever it takes.
Wait, so I have a question. How did you two decide who was going to get the cool part of being the one to chase on the motorcycle and who was going to get kidnapped?
That's what you get for being lazy and just ordering your food.
Maybe Cash just knew it, so he didn't bother arguing it. So, Matt, you just feel like that?
I think that's what it was. If you guys were to do it again, would you switch roles?
Oh, yeah. That's funny. Where'd y'all find that girl? Best Buy. Actors.com. Did the producer hire her? Best Buy. What are you doing, bro?
And I'm not complaining. It was really good. I can't drop my own yet.
She walked by and the boys were talking and Mav was like... She was like, hey, to Mav. And Mav was like... No, stop explaining.
I'll go watch the video.
And then Cash gets kidnapped.
And then there's like drippy blood. Okay, stop it. Mav steals a motorcycle. Kay's going. She's just not stopping.
You know how good a music video?
I try to. When you try to get me to, I do try.
And I'm like, no. Sing. And she's like, okay. I literally had to sing for our music video we did. And the entire room was like, it's not getting better than this.
They're so mean. We're not mean.
This is just Chinese food.
No, but it's the fact that you guys have been in there. You'll have been in there for like six hours trying to get this song recorded. And now you've heard the same line over and over and over. And it's just not being hit. And you're just like, it's just not getting better than this. Let's just move on.
I try to sing. I try to sing in the microphone. But it's okay.
And I didn't marry you for your bank account.
We need to give her a song. You can hear it on Rockaway. No. That is the best I've ever sang. Hey, Michael, come on. Come on, Michael.
I knew you were going to ask me.
And we don't know why.
Both of you go, no. One time I was at our apartment complex, and I opened my car door, and I hit the car next to me, and it scratched. And I was like, okay. So I left a note on their windshield. Like three days go by, and they never took the note off their windshield. And I was like, they must be out of town or something. And then I finally told Cash, and he was like, what? Why didn't you tell me?
And I was like, I don't know. And then he went down, and he spit on his finger, and he rubbed the scratch off. So I took my note back.
well they don't watch this anyways but it was like i think like seventh grade and this guy that's when all girls are evil man yeah eighth grade they're just evil little girls are evil if you're a seventh grade girl right now try to be nicer because there's a very good chance you're just not super nice right now and it's okay they just don't care you'll grow out of it but anyways seventh grade
I used to make my little sister cry all the time because I thought I was way too cool to be hanging out with her. So if she tried to hang out with me and my friends, I'd be like, go home. And she would cry.
She's like, Jaycee's friends I couldn't hang out with and my friends didn't want me.
Oh, it doesn't open all the way. It's so annoying. I'm supposed to open like this. It gets stuck. It opens like this. Mav, you should pay to get that fixed.
Happily ever after.
Why are you trying to make yourself sound like some poor child?
We had to share our fries and burgers.
A bazooka. I like that better. We went somewhere and the guy was like, can I get a Zook? Zach said that. He was like, should we get Zooks? We were like, what the heck?
The strawberry shortcake one is so good.
I haven't tried that one. It's so good.
Those are the only two good types of cookies. A couple weeks ago we went to BJ's and Cash ordered a pizookie. And you know they have like the normal size and then they have the like single serve size. And so he orders the single serve size. He's like, I don't want the big one. And the guy, I think he just assumed that the whole table wanted like the small size one.
So he brought everyone a small one that ordered one. And Matt was in the bathroom when his showed up and Kinsey ate like half of it because they were sharing one. And he comes back and he's like, what the frick is this? And he was like, what?
But I told Kinsey she should have ate the whole thing when he was in the bathroom.
What's that song called?
Okay, Mr. Slim Jim. Slim Jim is nutritious for your body. Slim Jim is not good for your body.
Isn't that Rims? No.
What was my story? Maverick eats ice cream. Cashmere eats a six pack and I have six.
You want to know why I try to control you, Cash? Because you'll walk around.
I try to control the food he eats because he walks around on a high horse like he is some sugar-free.
He does do that. He's like, I'm so healthy. I eat sugar-free. I'm like, no, you don't.
Diet Coke is so bad for you, but I'm so... I love a lot of Diet Coke, that's all I drink.
I feel like Diet Coke does need to go. Honestly, I know I don't need it, but I love it so much. I'm getting kind of sick of it. No, I love it. It's so good. And I just like vanilla Coke almost. I'm just, I love it. Like if I'm eating freaking, what's it called? If I'm eating Chipotle.
I didn't get one though. I don't have a diet Coke. I just ate Chipotle and I didn't have one.
Not every meal. I get like one a day.
No, I don't do that. I don't do that.
That is not what I do.
I'm trying to help, and you know it.
I'm trying to help, and you know it.
You're really going to eat that? Wow. Because you got like 17 tacos from Taco Bell right after our workout.
I can make that happen.
No, I was like, when we go to the gym every day, I'm like, what do you want to eat after the gym? I'm going to go home and make us some breakfast. And if he wants tacos, I will make you tacos. And the tacos that I will make you are going to be significantly cleaner than the tacos at Taco Bell.
It's because you ate yourself to sleep the night before.
Supercut is the... In my head, the radio's up. You keep wanting to talk about us.
And she drank it.
You don't understand the rage I felt, though, when I am asleep and I wake up to this. Hey.
Pop this up on the screen. The noises he makes when he eats. What does that mean? What?
Do you do it because of the sugar or do you do it because of his teeth? Both, all of the above.
She restocks it and you think that they just last forever.
One time, Kinsey and I were at the store, and she was like, oh, Matt asked for root beer. And she's looking at it, and she's like, he just does not need this. I don't know why.
And then we bring them home, and Matt's like, did you get me root beer? And she's like, uh-huh. And he's like, where are they? And she goes, in the pantry. And he opens the pantry, and he's like... Kenzie, what the frick is this? What am I, a toddler?
Who the heck is Gigi Wonder?
Marper. You Haddix. You Haddix?
Do you actually miss it? Um...
Not even being nonchalant. Do you talk to him ever? Yes, yes, yes.
If Maddox called you and was like, hey, Harper, I have a new music video. Would you like to come be the lead girl in it? I would totally do it. But just for fun.
The stage before dating where you guys like each other, but you're not dating yet.
If we go on tour, like, there's probably going to be a lot of things said that, like, we just can't cut.
Once it's out there, it's out there. At least once an episode, I feel like something gets cut, right?
Who? Kenzie has the least. Does it go in order? Like, Kenzie, me, Cash, Hardman.
Can you cut that part? Because I did say.
We can't talk about that? I didn't kill anybody's cat. We're not talking about it.
I'm not talking about it.
That's a whole different thumbnail. We gotta come back. You killed someone's cat? No, I did not kill anybody's cat.
You know how Mav tries to clickbait in the beginning? That's what he did.
I really feel like you killed someone's cat.
I didn't kill anybody's cat.
I'm out of lemonade.
Wait, I have it. I have it.
I'm so much better than y'all. I'm so much better.
What is the Taylor Swift one? Where she walks into the cafe on a Wednesday and she falls in love again. What?
On a Wednesday in a cab. Begin again.
I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. Defeat the whole purpose of the game. I walked in expecting you'd be late, but you got there early and you stand and wave. I walked to you, you pull my chair out, you help me in.
Oh, no. I don't think it was. You heard it here first, folks. Matt McKenzie, we're not together last episode.
Heaven is a place on earth with you.
Video games. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Cash knows it's Lana.
Baby, you're my sun and moon. No way.
Well, I mean, you don't know what they meant by that. Wait, sun? What kind of sun did you mean?
All your sun? Sun. It wasn't specified, but it is crazy that it is tied up right now.
I mean, this is going to take forever to get to three if we're all getting at one point at a time.
He always tries to do that. They both do. They're like, next point wins. You'll play an entire game for two hours, and they're like, all right, but the next one wins.
Sweep your shoes right off the ground.
Look at how locked in he is over there. Do he? You look so goofy.
She started yelling over me.
You didn't sing the song.
I'm a TV girl. I don't want to talk right now. I just want to watch TV. Wow. Kate won.
What if they want to sponsor us in the future?
I promise you it's not a rat.
I don't want to hold it.
Oh yeah, this was the gift I found. I found it.
You know those, like, tubes that do the fire escapes that people go down? Yeah. If you put one through that hole into that hole?
How do they not know what splin-shins is?
I'm mad at the splinters. Accidents happen, okay? Accidents happen in bed, and accidents happen out of bed, okay? I wet the bed sometimes. Yeah, big deal. Everybody knows.
What's happening? Baby girl, what's happening?
We don't even get into arguments.
I think we should kick both of them off the podcast. It's us three now.
Because y'all acted weird this whole episode and actually, to be quite frank, even the entire day.
If you hash it out, I'll give you my change.
That happens. Seriously, hash.
Okay, fine. Oh my gosh, you guys have seriously been annoying.
I'm not the one airing it out. You are.
Well, if you have some, I mean, let's hear it.
I don't want to move to like freaking Europe. I want to move like locally.
That was a cat fight at like the peak. I mean, I don't think we'll ever see another fight like that again.
I've never seen Kate hit somebody. I've never seen Kate and Kinsey fight.
Welcome back to an episode, guys. Tensions are very high in the left side of the room.
No, it's got to stay on the couch.
Why do I have to sit down?
It's okay, babe. You'll be fine.
Okay, the estrogen is high over there right now.
And the estrogen is high on me. I need to take this off. Okay.
I thought that was a dragon or something in there.
You put it in the attic? Yes, I bought a gift to give someone on the episode, but I had to hide it from everyone, so I put it in the attic, okay?
It's a small gift. It's like this big.
Kate, you gotta open the gift.
Oh, so you're worried she's kicking that bucket.
Kicking that bucket?
That means that, you know, she's getting up Rudy.
I love her.
I just wanted to see how it dripped down so easily. Oh.
Do you guys get it? Why are you laughing so hard?
No. Yeah, why are y'all laughing? Explain the joke.
They're trying to fit in.
Give me just a second.
I just want to set my phone up on there so I can see if Lizzo's calling. Okay.
You have voice lessons with Lizzo?
No, why would you blip that?
Okay, I'll say it. I'll say it.
So, sorry. Logan Paul, his new brand, Lunchup Lees, and Kai Sinat, I believe.
Yes. Logan Paul and Kysonat made a brand called Lunchly.
You got PR from Lunchly. Yeah. Did you ever get the crackers and cheese? Yes. No, I don't think any of us ate it.
I know, but did you ever get the crackers and cheese?
You've probably seen it on TikTok.
Yeah. Quick intermission.
She said quick intermission. Cash's alarm goes off. That was pretty crazy. What?
Keep going. Are you kidding? Okay, so basically after that intermission, intermission's done, Logan Paul and Kai Sinat made a viral video. And...
They made a viral video where they dip the cracker in cheese and he's like, I like my cheese drippy because it was dripping. And then he ate it and it went viral.
No, I promise you, at least they don't sell it at Walmart or anything. You can't find it in store. I don't know what's true anymore.
Don't worry. She's FaceTiming, not calling.
I was like, what? Dude, how does your phone get that loud and vibrate?
You did write that line. I must confess, I did know that cheese clogged you up. I was just trying to make it look like it only clogged you up.
That would go viral. We should post it somewhere.
Y'all should post it. I got cheese clogged up.
There's two homies in Cancun.
Yo, I remember y'all would sing that, and I was like, are y'all gonna post it? And y'all never posted it, but y'all would sing it all the time.
It's kind of like a joke, but maybe we should.
I'm new here Fluffy unicorn 68
Are you kidding me?
Okay, that's not close to 100. I'm sorry.
Wait, you've already hit 100.
dang i don't care harvard you said you have a vocal lesson you got new music coming out yeah dude that's that that's more than some of my videos why is fluffy unicorn so cool yeah fluffy anyways the vocal lesson i gotta warm up is that your warm-up Uh, yes. Are you done warming up? I really hope that y'all don't listen in. No, we are.
We don't got to talk about like. what happened later, but we can talk about the first. We can talk about one of the first times we met this vocal coach.
We can tell you after, but she was a nice lady. Hey, we were talking about doing a book. This is one of the stories that would be in the book. That is funny. This is one of the stories that we can't put on the internet, but we can put in a book.
That is true. We still made the sale. We'll filter the story a little bit. This story got to go in there.
Do you just walk around practicing that?
Wait, what's the difference between when your throat is closed and when your throat is open when you're singing? Well, look, when I try to hit a high note... Oh, wait, hold on.
It's not out yet, but you guys... Wait, what? There's a video called, Do You Kill Harper Zelmer? Yeah, you die. Oh, you don't know about this yet? That's kind of crazy.
Oh, you will die laughing at Cash's video skydiving. I can't, I can't even laugh. Okay, but continue talking about your closed throat.
So basically, ready, when I try to go high and sing Chavarone's Pink Pony Club, ready?
Yeah. Wait. I don't know that song.
You can give me voice lessons. You see how this is head voice? Hello from the other side. Because you go and do it. And then the hello from the other side. That's normal voice.
She said, this is my American accent, and this is my English accent.
Same plot as kind of the other stuff. Sure. But it was a great movie. That brings me to the sponsor of this episode. What?
Are you trying?
Okay, ready, ready, ready? I'd like to get some water.
I forgot enough people still here. I need to voice vocal warm-up, so anybody want to help me?
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't care.
Uh, no. Come on, let's see it.
What? I'm just trying to... What?
It looks like those... It doesn't really matter. It doesn't really matter, okay?
Slick City? Oh my gosh, I heard about that last night. Yes, it's... You were telling me about that. You were like, what's better?
Wait, are you saying butt?
I wrote this and no one was supposed to read it.
Oh, it's literally an abbreviation. It's not bad.
I'm going to bring my diary next episode. Please, that's so funny.
More than best friends.
The classic 11 years.
I shall show you Slick City.
This is why I roll it up, so I can bite it.
Did she write down that sad or you just said that?
Upper-ducky?
Upper-ducky.
Oh my god, bro. What does it say you were 11 years old? Okay
Slick City is a slide park, for those of you who don't know. Cool.
This is crazy. It blew up in my ear. Oh my God.
No, we need to save the other stories for another episode.
My phone didn't charge! It's 6.02.
You can plug it in while you're in there.
Where? Where's the plug?
Where's the plug go?
Can I plug it in there really fast and see if it works? Yeah.
Oh, it's like an air track. That's literally at Urban Air.
No, it's not.
Oh, Airborne. Sorry, Airborne.
Airborne. Anyways, yeah, we go to... It's called Ninja Kids now. Ninja Kids.
They do have it there. We're doing like 360 dunks. We're basically LeBron James on that court.
But if you... Somebody does need to come to Slick City, actually, and record me and Cash and Alex playing basketball because we have some crazy highlight reel. Oh, my God.
That's so lame. You didn't know the air track was under me?
No. Me and Alex are jumping and he's like trying to block me. I'm like, y'all don't understand. I'm like 10 feet in the air just like sideways. Like I'm dunking this thing.
Yes, Mr. Beast has no top.
I've been here for seven years. I say we all go blonde. Everybody goes the same colored blonde. We will be a crazy looking podcast.
Why are you carrying that around? Because they gave it to me for my pretzels for caramel.
Because she wanted it with her straw. I was driving here. You were driving? I was driving here and I was like, Mama... I mean, mama. I was like, mama.
Okay, let me tell you.
Well, yeah, I mean, I did eat at Pei Wei once and I, yeah, anyways. I literally was driving here.
Hey, Harper was speaking. I was speaking. Please stop interrupting me.
My sister has that sweatshirt. It's so girly.
I have a whole set.
It's supposed to look washed like it's your boyfriend's old hoodie.
Well, trust me, that is not a real camouflage hoodie.
But if there's times where you just- Because you just want me to be quiet.
Well, I was driving here. What happened when you were driving here? I was driving here.
I was with my mom. And I asked her, I was like, Mom, can we go? I was like, Ma, can we go to Scooters? Or I was driving, by the way.
Did I not say that?
If you were saying TikToks.
I was driving, by the way. I was driving, and... My mom. Oh, I'm fine. That was a good one. OK, so my mom was like, my mom was like, girl, like, we got to go. We got to go to the podcast because you got a singing lesson at six o'clock and it's already like four, four, five. And I was like, Ma, I got to do my makeup. And she was like, girl, come on now.
So I went over to scooters, minding my own business. She couldn't turn the car. So I went to scooters by myself.
What do you mean by that? You drove by yourself?
Yes. No, you didn't.
You drove by yourself?
What you want? You made your mom get in the backseat? Like an Uber passenger?
I got pretzel snackers. That's what they're called. A banana strawberry shake. No, no, no. A banana strawberry... Smoothie. Smoothie. They have smoothies there? Oh, Cash is gonna lose his mind.
Hey, normally when they stop eating.
What happens after she eats?
What happens if you don't eat long enough?
I wrote one that y'all never expect.
Okay, so you think I wrote the... I think you wrote that.
That's what you hate. Okay, who wrote that?
me too let me guess let me guess after everything okay somebody else who hasn't gone uh mine what was yours no i did mavericks uh mavericks said he thought thinks it's his own wife but i haven't done mine yeah no wait wait no math said he thought it was cash no who do you think what was the question when you're trying to explain me how i'm wrong oh yeah they interrupt every two seconds i haven't done mine yet okay no it was not me
What's happening? Okay, it's not funny anymore, though. Yeah, I'll stop making the jokes. But he's really cute.
I can't lie.
I can't lie. I wrote these. I thought you were saying I wrote... What? You wrote mine? I didn't know what else to say, so I just did something that was nice.
I don't think I do.
I get hangry a lot, too.
No, because you were like, you couldn't eat.
Is the Harper's Elmer died one performing well?
It's at home, actually, so I might just wear it next podcast.
Oh, yeah. The Switching Wives? Yeah.
Notice the secret rooms aren't. Yeah. No more secret rooms. Y'all put in so much work to those.
And so right when they suck it, it just... I've done that before. And I choked down the dandelion and I didn't get it back up.
Wait, what? Yeah, it was really harmful. Harmful? Yeah, it was to my system.
A sunflower.
Dandelion if someone says the word again, I'm gonna lose it Those are still dandelions I know but like Dan wait, I'm sorry.
You just said premature. Premature dandelions.
i asked to be glazed no please why would y'all even be nice to me someone be nice to me you look kind of cute in the eye dude i realized speaking of glaze you yeah i appreciate that i got a funny tiktok video also guys guys guys guys guess what i'm 16 when i was saying yes you know you're 16 i look cute in a hat everything's great today marry you
What? I'm joking. I'm joking. That was crazy. I'm joking. That was a crazy phrase. I'm joking. It's a prank.
No, I know. Just because I wear your hat means you like me. I know that you like me, okay?
Well, when I turn 18, I can homewreck their situation.
Is that bad? I don't know what it means.
Yeah, you married the right man. Thank you.
She's like, also low-key real.
Well, so are we cutting it or keeping it in?
What one part? The homework part or the normal speech part?
Well, I mean, part of me is joking, and then, like, you know. Yeah, that's fine.
I mean, I don't want to say that, but, like, Kinsey, you're not mad, right? What's going on? It's not, like, funny to joke about, though, Harper. No, I know, but I'm just joking around. Yeah, you get me?
For the next two years.
What? I wear skinny jeans. My name is Maverick. Of course it's a joke. I'm just saying when I turn 18.
what's happening it's not funny anymore though okay yeah i'll stop making the jokes but he's really cute so you can't see that's a compliment Yeah, you married the right man. Thank you. Compliment again. For the next two years.
argued I'm telling you like when I'm not actually gonna like date him obviously cuz y'all are married and he's like and you respect that I respect that of course why are you laughing when I respect that of course it's kind of like I don't know I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I respect that it's kind of evil I saw that in your mouth no you didn't give it to me
Why don't we write what we like the most? Oh, no, no, no. You have to be so honest, though. You can't just do it.
See, the way he sings is just so cute. Well, Harper, if you're not joking... You asked me, Glaze, and part of the joke is that you're not joking. That's what a joke is.
Wait, wait.
It's a joke. Kind of.
Do you see what I'm hearing? Yeah. We're hearing what I'm hearing. Okay, yeah, but I'm also 16 years old, and it's, like, it's, like, not, like, that serious.
Yeah. Because he's, like, literally, like, 21.
Well, when I turn 18, I
We're, like, two years apart, so, like. I don't feel safe here. He's 24. Yeah, but, like, same thing.
He's saying that to me.
It's going to hurt.
I'm semi-flattered. Yet you married the right man. Okay, thank you. For the days that you haven't. See? See, following up every... Wait, are y'all messing with me?
Would you be offended if a 16-year-old boy was saying stuff like that about you?
Okay, fine. I'll tell you the truth. I'm not joking.
Mackenzie, just because you married him doesn't mean like you have to have him all to yourself. Do you know what marriage is? Yes, I do. It's half and half.
Imagine you got you...
Can I redraw?
Guys, I'm scared.
Did you actually?
And I was in it before you, so.
What? What? What's happening? Do a joke to me. Do a joke to me. See?
Did she call him smelly?
I would love to work with you guys, but unfortunately, Cash is too smelly.
Like, after the live show, and he's definitely sweaty, I like the meet and greet. You can buy the tickets, you'll smell him, and he's so gross.
Yeah, we're going everywhere, bro.
Out of the seven continents.
I swear I was joking. I promise. I would never say that to your face.
Yeah, I think Alex should read them.
Oh, I got two. Hold on. All right, I got Maverick.
I don't know why I'm smiling so hard.
What do you mean? She's like, I'm going to guess me. No, I didn't. I didn't actually. When you were... When you are trying to explain to me how I'm wrong and then don't give me more than two seconds to talk or defend myself at a time because you like to talk, period.
I thought it was so funny.
I thought the video was hilarious. I watched it this morning when I got ready. Or, like, not this morning because I don't get ready for school.
Y'all could kick me off. Let's see.
Hold on. I don't like anybody the least.
I genuinely don't. I don't think.
It goes Kinsey.
My favorite is Kinsey and Kate combined. Then it's, like, y'all two and stuff.
And now he's starting to be all quiet because to make people feel bad for him because he's the main character.
I've never driven with her.
Hashtag scary. It was. I almost died like three times in the hardware.
Okay. Now this is for Maverick. When you were trying to explain to me how I'm wrong and I don't,
When you were trying to explain to me how I'm wrong and don't give me more than two seconds to talk or defend myself at a time because you like to talk.
Oh, wait. That is confusing.
We have a special guest coming on today. What?
Yeah, I never lead it off with that again. You know, I like kindergarten.
I was like, whoa, she's so cute. Okay, and that's enough of the Jason Carr.
I've been lied to.
I've been got. I thought that was the first time y'all met. Y'all have known each other since pre-K? Yeah, pretty much.
Is she picking you up?
I'm not allowed to have intro videos. You guys ever have like that grandpa that I can't really hear very well? What? Yeah.
Whoa, Harper. All right, we'll take him back. Okay.
It's fine. They have a chaperone. Anyways.
What do you like about Harper? The red hair.
She's called you a capper.
Me personally, I wouldn't take that.
Of course.
Oh, no, you'll be fine.
Unfortunately, that one looked effortless. Maverick's looks very effort-er.
My YouTube voice? What?
That didn't look like much energy went into it. Yours looks like everything goes into it.
That was pretty good.
Wait, how old are you, Kenzie? No, not almost, I wouldn't say. You were 25, right? Oh my gosh, you're 10 years older than me? You are a decade older. That is insane.
Think, when you were 10 years old, they literally didn't exist. You couldn't find them anywhere on the planet. You could look. They're not there.
A few years later, though, they're at the playground. Me? Oh, I'm a young one. He's 19. Yeah.
What? You know what's crazy though? Listen, she's actually very good at talking to her like her 80 something year old grandpa. I'm good at it too. I can't talk to him. I'm like, I'm like, oh, so what'd you have for breakfast this morning, grandpa? And he's like, he just looks at Kate, he's like, what? And Kate's like, what did you have? He said breakfast. What did you have? And I'm like, oh, oh.
No, he's not. No, I'm 21. About to be 22. I figured out everything after 21 is just sad. Maybe 25 because then I get a discount on car rentals.
Yeah, your birthday that's coming up is going to be your last good one.
I don't know. Do your YouTube voice. My YouTube voice? Come on, man. I'll do mine. If you're doing a YouTube intro or any sort of YouTube thing, you need to wait until you have a little bit of compression on your voice.
You should really just make it talk to me Why did it sound like this is the first time you hear in his story Harper?
I mean, it's, like, five or six cameras.
But you just pretend like they're not there, and you just talk.
You have to just compress your voice a little bit before you start. Compress? Not too much, or you sound really bad. All right, everybody give their best YouTube intro. Wait, Mav, you go last. No, you go last, though. You go last. Kenzie, you start.
We ask every guest this question. Yeah, also remember, Kate thought her house was ghetto because it only had hardwood floors. No. Only had carpet. No, this is fire.
Is this what you expected?
Matt, think about it now. If he literally pointed out your wood wall before the hole in the wall on the ghetto top. It looks pretty random. Why would we put that there? Yeah, what is that for? What's behind it? Another wall.
It's a very serious question, Kinsey. Yeah, you know, I mean, he's gonna date Harper, so, you know.
Gotta make sure he's up for the challenge.
No, we're going to go around. Kenzie to Mav. Come on.
All right, Harper, what is the definition of loyalty?
Bingo. That was it.
Really, that's it. Relevant. All the thought that went into it. More like a few minutes.
Y'all are doing things slow.
Just like a tutorial, like on a general YouTube video, the intros.
Yeah. What? Me too, man. Me too, trust. Wait, what do they say? No, I'm with you. Just pretend they're not there. It's what I do too.
Oh, so you can run home. This would be great. No one's got to give him a ride.
Unlike Mav.
Me? That's pretty impressive to be on the varsity high jump team.
I'm not trying to have a guy who's shorter or taller
Like a Mr. Beast video.
Alright, Kate.
Now you're acting nervous, Harper.
Yeah, what's loyalty to you?
Y'all good with that? Yeah, man. Low key. Yeah, you can leave, Harper. Can you grab my phone on the way, please?
I wouldn't do it. We pay two vanilla wafers a week. Trust me, dude. The co-workers are horrible. It's not worth it.
You're skivvity, Kate.
That's okay.
Yeah, he kind of does, though. What?
Dude, all three of you guys could, like, that couch right now could just be one of those video games where there's, like, three different characters going down the road.
It really is. Did you just look it up?
He's scared of getting rizzed up by cash. It is an effect I have on everyone.
Why are you nervous? Is there something in that bag? I'm kind of nervous that you're going through her makeup bag.
Dude, I mean, Matt had some attitude with that one. You might be sitting too close to Harper. You're getting that teenage attitude.
Questions for new couples.
Today we are going to be testing to see if a one size fits all is actually true. So we have size 0 to size 10, being Kate, and we are going to test size all these pants. Kate, can you fit in these pants?
What are you most passionate about in life?
Well, that was a real question. I have a real one too right here. It's actually the number one on Google.
It's the number one on Google. Just like we're about to be the number one on Spotify. Go follow us on Spotify.
Yeah, we're following on the charts. So we really need you to follow us now more than ever. Sorry, what were you saying, Kenzie? Thank you.
It's okay. You can speak after me.
Sorry, man, I got three of them on there before you caught me doing it.
That was the last thing I was trying to stack.
She's going to keep asking it until you say no.
Does Harper care more than everybody else cares? I think so. I have some good questions.
I got an ad on Google. Okay, here we go. What were you like in high school?
Because I want to break up with you if I'm done. What's up, guys? Welcome back to another episode of the very funny podcast. Funniest podcast in the world, some people may say.
We're in high school. We're in high school. Oh, sorry. Let me see.
You guys have a guitar? Where's our guitar? I can play it right now. It's probably not tuned, though. Oh, it's not tuned, though. It might be Chase has been playing it.
Chase has been playing it? That's crazy. You play guitar, Chase? Chase is not here. Okay, off camera, do I actually smell bad?
If one more person thinks I'm Chase around here, man, everyone I meet in life is like, oh, you're Chase. No, my name is not Chase. It's Gooch.
I don't know about that. It's called Guitar Tune-A.
I don't know. I don't, I'm not in girl sizes. I have small, medium, large, and like size 28, 29. And then I ask a girl, they're like, I'm size four. I'm like, what does that mean?
Can you help me, bro? No, I got you, I got you. Would you be willing to stay at home with the kids while I work? Not me, but like as in for her.
Hey, guys. That's getting put in the intro. That's rude. What are three things on y'all's bucket list?
First thing on the bucket list.
Wait, why didn't you give it to me? I was closer to you. That was ridiculous.
Can you please stop?
I'm kidding.
I mean, these are climb Mount Everest. I mean, that's crazy. Dude, you might die. That's all TikTok. Learn how to break chains. How's that going? I want to hear the ones that you're not allowed to say out loud. Wait, wait, wait. Let me see. Let me see.
Learn how to break dance. Me too, man. Be famous.
I won't say that one.
I don't believe that one. That's not checked off. That seems a little weird. Read on the top of the massive pyramids in Egypt. Honestly, I'll give you $100 if you can do that.
I know. Read which one?
Take a random person's crutches while they're walking and run away with them and never come back.
We're bonding and everything he's broken moment like home he's broken he's gonna speak Arabic What what we're not on that right now, and we're back I
Yeah, but everything's okay. Everything is fine.
No, everything's not fine because I don't have a bucket list. I need to make one of those. Make one.
You know what? My parents like Kate more than me, too. I don't really get that. This is true. Are you two married? No. Siblings.
Are you two married? No, also siblings.
And then he followed up with asking if me and you were married. I mean, what?
We need a camera on Alex. I know. We have like a thousand cameras in this house. We need to get one on Alex, bro. Oh, do you have a diary or journal?
Oh, yeah. How about you guys give each of you each other. We asked him what he loves about you.
Well, that's not how the game works.
I'm going to teach you something. Harper, you go first.
Don't fight fire with fire. Actually, that does work now. No, it does. But we're not going to do that. It technically does.
Should I be saying that? That was really good. Except the first half, there was a lot of words said, but I didn't understand any of them.
You're supposed to give him something nice.
If it's not nice, I'm going to hang you upside down by your ankles.
That's not about him.
I don't think she even knows we're on the podcast right now.
I mean, technically, yeah, that was my bad.
All right, well, Jason, now you say something nice about Harper.
Baguette? She always had a baguette. Wait, what's a baguette?
Hey, silence was better than what you said, okay?
That was admirable. I like that. I like lying. Harper, you say something now.
Say something nice, Harper. I like how he, like... Are those nerds? Yes.
I like how he... Did you just eat a Skittle with the nerd? It was stuck together. What are you going to do? Yeah, that was... You're not supposed to do that. That's okay.
I'm not even taller than him.
Oh, there goes that one.
Sorry, don't get jealous. We could always settle this with a game of memory match. No, we can't.
What's a memory match? Don't ask. You don't know what a memory match is? I just know I'm very good at it. Since I was a child prodigy. Every game he's lost. You don't know, you seriously never played memory match? No. I mean, how young are these kids, man?
And then wait, what was the rest after that? What'd you say?
Everyone I ask to play memory match with me, they're like, what's that? And then I show them the game, they're like, oh yeah, that game. What is everyone called that game?
Who's your best friend at school? Oh.
No, that is a girlfriend.
Thank you. Homey's gonna see this.
Like, you come back from prison, and you're like, yeah, I got some good friends in there.
I need to see one of these episodes.
Dude, I'd mess with some people in prison. I feel like I'd be homies with a lot of them.
People mean to me?
No, not really. People don't like us at school. They met at school. Who did you kiss yesterday evening?
No, you were not, Harper. She was. I saw it. There was a weapon behind the camera. What do you call this right now, then?
You said a lot of friends. You know, I would let you be my friend, but you're 15, so that doesn't really make any sense.
Harper has never played Super Smash Bros. with us. You know, we've asked her. We all go out to dinner after a podcast. We're like, you want to come with everyone? If we went out to dinner or pickleball, you'd come. Of course, bro. I love pickleball. Y'all play pickleball? Yeah, she would never come.
Yeah, we will.
We were talking about it.
No, Harper, honestly, she would hang out with us more. She's got a lot of school. And then when she died at school, she got work. Thank you.
Well anyways We're gonna go play pickleball now. We'll see you guys next time. We are out of time.
It's hard anything any final words
I just asked him that.
No, not you. Any final words for Jason Carter? We're breaking up. We're done. No, no, no, you can.
Your mic's unplugged, no one can hear you.
Wow, he really does have to piss me off.
Whoa, I'm very good at memorization. If it's like, oh, say like four sentences, it's like, okay. Y'all obviously haven't seen me play Memory Match. I have a good memory. I have a great memory. You just take a long time. Because I perfect it, Mav. It's a great intro. You can't remember your intro. He also does today. Today.
Let me, let me intro it. What do you mean?
Today. Wait. Okay. Let me do it one more time. You know what's funny? I saw a video of Mr. Beast doing that on TikTok yesterday. He was like, we're going to be blowing up. We're going to be blowing up.
today we're gonna be it's so funny bro it's just a crew of like a hundred people pointing cameras at and everyone's dead silent it's so like real though oh do you do it i really want to do it like i feel like i'm a circus freak right now you're not gonna have like the music behind you and everything making it sound way less hype not put somebody put a youtube intro behind me all right we're gonna be doing
You know what? Because when Maverick does the intro, this is what we get. Have we started?
What's your new favorite movie?
Wait, the originals? Yes. I watched a movie made past the 2000s.
Oh, the fighting in all the Karate Kids and everything is bad.
I'm sorry, did you hear me? I watched a movie made in 1984.
what congratulations i don't do that we're watching top gun right now for the first time the new one oh no the old one oh the old one i watched the new one first and then the old one man that was a letdown after watching the new one yeah i made sure she watched the old one first that's pretty good he kept quoting things to me because his name's maverick or whatever and i just didn't understand you know my parents almost they wanted to name me goose and they're like well they were like well
well we can't do that so fitting right dude i would honestly i would have been high if my name was goose i would have loved it when he's little and all the people are like talking to their guys yeah And then they decided they couldn't do that, so they almost named me Iceman. What? What was it? Iceman. No. Yeah, it is. They were not going to name you Iceman. Who were they going to name me?
Guys, we started.
That's literally my every time. You know, I don't know if Kate or Kenzie's ever started an episode. Let's hear it, guys. Give us a start.
No, probably his last name.
Oh, no, Kenzie. No, his name was Goose. And then he said, hey, you got that the other day, right? When I said that? Okay, I wasn't sure because it's like an old movie.
It's not. No, no. His name is not Goose. He said, hi, my name is Maverick. So he said, my name is Goose. And all of us laughed.
No one's name is Goose. I promise you. But if your name is Goose, I'm Jelly.
Jelly Belly.
Yes, I am. I would have, honestly, Cash Goose Baker would have went hard.
Oh. Goose Goose. Kate, we could name our son Goose.
Okay, Harper, cut to the chase. Are you guys dating? Are you holding hands? No.
That was a teacher joke at just so bad.
I mean, that was weak.
Wow, me too. You always want to go home. Tell me how I want to go home, but I am home, and I still want to go home.
You know what, Harper?
Dude, she did. We were watching the Karate Kid last night. She goes, this might be my new favorite movie ever. It was so good. Have you seen the new Karate Kid?
That was so good.
Stronger than me. You're older than me.
LOL. Please yell. Do not call it LOL.
No, probably not. Actually, it might be in the movie. If it's in the movie, that's hard.
Yeah, please. Show us your karate moves.
It's karate, everybody.
Kenji. What? No. How do I know she doesn't like the part of the movie where they're like, strike hard first, no mercy. I don't want to be part of that. No, no, do Mav. No.
No, no, do Mav, do Mav. No, I'm okay. Come be my karate partner.
Wait, step this way, guys.
All right, let's see it. So if you get knocked down, what's important? To get back up again. Yes. That's it.
What the? What was that?
about this. What?
Do the move. Okay. I knew she was going to try to strike first.
Well, now that Kate's done with karate, I have some big news.
Yeah, nobody mess with Kate. Anyways, I have some big news. We have a special guest coming on today.
That's right.
They're like are you from the lol podcast? I'm like it's lol first of all I think it's just like a so cute. I was like it's way to say It's like saying lammo dude me maverick talking about the other day though every time kate talks in a video It's so loud, but so quiet and so like it like when we're doing a club video or something. It's like Okay, guys, we're going to be doing this now.
Why did y'all invite my boyfriend on the podcast?
Unforgiven.
You know, Harper's talked about a lot of guys. Yeah, you can sit there. She's talked about a lot of guys on this podcast. Never you, though.
Someone called me Jason Carb. Jason Carb? I'm so sorry. Wait, on here called you Jason Carb? What? I mean, that would probably be him then. Carb? Wait, someone on our podcast called you Jason Carb once? I just saw it on a clip. I don't know. Well, that's crazy.
Closer. He's a big man. He can fix it.
Okay, Harper, cut to the chase. Are you guys dating? Yeah.
Y'all are making it more awkward than it really needed to be. Oh my gosh, wait!
Wow. Wow. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure he told me that to me too.
I didn't. I opened it when we got back to our green room.
And when we first walked in, Cash made it even more awkward by being like, well, this is the awkward part.
It was not out yet, but we are.
Actually, some three girls wanted to be in my TikTok. Wow. So I left them in my TikTok. Wow. Yeah.
Well, you may not like it, but you better learn now because it's your turn.
And you said five more than you.
I used to run my TikTok account. Prime is pretty good, though. Prime is aight.
He can't get to stray. No, no, no, no, no.
I do see Pape a lot, but I talked to, like, me and Chase are just tight like gingers.
I did. I said that at dinner in New York, so I hope you feel loved. I feel loved. Good. Alien boy. What?
So beautiful. Can we always be this close?
What do I see? i see i'm sorry what's wrong it's just so funny i don't look right oh my gosh i see uh i don't remember what i saw now the time has passed But who was your guest that you were talking about?
They, the... Oh, wait, please cut that. Let's just say... I'm sorry, cut that. I'm sorry, cut that, please. Cut what? I was like, they, them...
You're my best friend. I met him when we were doing Queen Bee, and I've just never had the same experience with somebody else. Wait, didn't you forget that he was the videographer for Queen Bee?
Hi. Oh, my gosh. Can you get out of the hole?
Sorry, but the Ariana Grande remark was very rude. Ariana Grande has one of the best woman voices in the world. Anyway, sorry, keep going. I mean, you do too.
What's your favorite album ever out of everything? Ever is Midnight.
That's a good one. That's probably mine, honestly. I love it. It's so good. I love it. Or Reputation. I went to your concert in Reputation in 2018. Awesome. Or like the concert. You were like nine then. That's crazy. I know. I was. It was Halloween time. It was so much fun.
You were born in 2009? Yeah. That's crazy.
The pink guitar is gorgeous.
Like, this is a good time to start.
And if there's a fan there that possibly wants to... And we also might do some shows in Australia, Canada.
But only on weekends. Because I have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday of every week of the summer to do whatever I want. And then on the weekends, we just go on vacation.
What do you think is the biggest show we're going to do?
For an avatar lip shoot. I'm the face of the brand. Yes, look at this face.
They made me change my nails, understandably, but these are the cutest nails I've ever gotten done. You can just get them done again when you come back. I don't have that kind of money, okay? It's very hard to do that. Especially for the nail ladies.
They were actually $77. No, they were not. Yes, promise. With tip? With 89.
89 with tip. Wow, where did you... That's actually pretty good for all that. Well, they charged me for shape and one design. Oh. But they did multiple designs? Yeah, but they did multiple designs. My friend Brooke, she got one design too.
Y'all must be deep in there.
What was your favorite part of the New York show? Probably just all the fans. I mean, when the meet and greet at the end, I got really tired. My back started aching really bad for some reason. What was your favorite part, Kate? My back was hurting, too. I was, like, wanting to lay on the ground.
I feel like next time we should...
I actually didn't know what to do. I got up there, and I was like, Piper, rock, y'all. And I was like, Piper, get rocked.
Well, if we're going on a world tour, then I'm not staying with my parents. I'm sorry. What?
Probably the... Queen B was really tiring.
She did find it? I didn't know. Yeah, the people were like, we found it. She's like, oh, thank you.
I love Billie Eilish. On stage? On stage, yes. She was like, give me back my ring. No, she was just like, okay, guys, I lost one of my favorite rings that I've had since I was a kid. And there was a person in the audience that was like, I found it. And then she was like, oh.
I will pay for my own room if that's what it takes.
I will. I don't know if that's taxing.
I'm having a very bad day. She is. See, I'm looking at her eyes.
Imagine just having a $10. This one's from a fan. It's signed.
You look like you have underwear on your head. I do.
I did say I was going to shout out a fan to her face. I was like, of course. What's her name? Her name was Izzy. You remember it? Yes. I remember her saying that to you.
Oh, I remember my things. I remember my things. Hey, Chase.
Oh my God. Yes, I know Carson. I know Carson. She's the one with the glasses. In the New York shirt? Was she wearing the New York shirt? Yes. Yes.
I wouldn't even care. I've had the worst day ever.
We're on the pod right now. We're filming. And we just said Carson Bartley was our favorite person there.
That's insane if you get a tattoo. You should do it. That's crazy. He's the number one fan.
Hi, my name is Harper and I'm 27. Am I crazy for wanting to get back with a guy who ghosted me?
Well, I really thought that I was in love. We were dating for about a whole summer. So like from April until August, it was kind of like a spring fling, essentially. And summertime, I felt like I was in love. We had like the same values. He was like really easy to talk to. But I could talk to a rock. So that's not really saying much. But I did feel like I could talk to him pretty easily.
And he ghosted me. So it was like overnight he disappeared. And then he came back six months later and tried to start up a conversation with me. And I really am considering getting back together with him.
No. I didn't.
Because I think I made him spiral a little bit.
I know, but I feel like I'm the problem sometimes.
I need you to tell me that I'm the problem.
I can't date casually. So when I meet a guy and I like him, I like immediately want to jump into a relationship. And so I start planning dates. I start in my mind thinking of the future with him. I can't just go out on a date and have fun.
Yes. Essentially, yeah. I feel like this is a common occurrence, though. Like, I date these guys or I talk to these guys and then they leave. And I have a friend, she has a guy, like, super hooked on her right now. And she plays a game with him. Like, she's like, just keeps him coming back.
I mean, they've been doing this for like two years and I feel like maybe I'm too easy of a catch and that's why they leave.
I don't want to be walked over.
So I come across as easy and not as valuable?
So should I start going on more dates? Because I haven't been on any good dates recently.
So I can text him back and ask him why he ghosted me and then go from there?
Someone died? Okay.
But then he should have, yeah, communicated that. Yeah. I think that mostly he was just going through a lot, possibly. So you're just guessing?
Well, I mean, his comeback line wasn't even good. He was just like, hey, I've been thinking about you. Hope you're okay. That was how he came back. He ghosted me.
Now I don't like him as much.
Yes. Because he thinks he can get away with it.
Okay. But it's hard to find people... Like I grew up in like a conservative household and he and I have similar like values.
And I'm finding that very hard to find out here dating and talking to men.
You know, ready to have kids. Let's put a house together. He does not sound like he's ready for either. Right.
How do you get them to be ready for you, though?
But I feel like that just scares away a lot of men.
I'm just trying to have one for sure. So I have to stand my ground.
I'll be 28 in a couple of weeks.
I feel like all my friends are like getting married and like finding their person.
How do you know if your expectations are too high?
I was willing to take a guy back without any explanation.
What's funny is like when you talk to other people, I'm like the clear answer is just so, it's so clear. But like when it comes to yourself, you feel like you're so different.
I met his family like two weeks in.
So I can't fix him back.
Okay, so I'm not going to text him that. I wanted to know why he really did ghost me, but I guess we know that he just wasn't.
Okay. Well, he doesn't have any.
I'm not going to call. All right.