Harrison
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
Oh, Camp Oakwood. That explains the pagan sacrifices around the house.
I try to wake my dad up when he gets like this, but every time I do, my vision gets blurry and my heart hurts. Yeah, I go into a state of anaphylactic shock or whatever the fuck it is.
When the time came, I packed up my stuff, told my parents goodbye, and headed off to Camp Oakwood. Oakwood? Amy told me I'd be living in a two-story housing wing located about 50 yards away from the main camp. There were four apartments, two on each floor. Two or three employees would live in each one.
The counselors would be sleeping in the cabins with the campers, so that left the nurses, cooks, and maintenance staff inside the wing. There were 11 of us, three nurses, four cooks, and four janitors, so I had a quarter chance of getting a two-person apartment. I didn't really care, but I crave privacy, so I was hoping for the best option. I must have been lucky because I got the two-person room.
When I arrived, someone was inside unpacking. He was a pretty young guy, maybe a bit older than me. I'm 21, but very muscular. I made my way in to introduce myself.
Now, what about what about his name makes you apply that accent?
It's all about, it's all about the new Orleans saints and the Pelicans. He posts about basketball sub, but he is just like, he was like, yeah, this is lame. I'm done with the whole ride. But what's the other one he goes to as well. It's very important. Oh, it's a channel call. So it's a subreddit called our slash urinating tree. Oh, I'm talking about the other one. Oh, oh yeah. Okay.
I'm just trying to set off all of your like scare. I was like, what? Well, who have I made fun of? What have I offended? Yeah. Want to take a quick break from the episode to thank today's sponsor, ZocDoc. I don't go to the doctor as much as I should, and if you are spending this much of your time listening to a podcast about fictional monsters, then you probably don't either.
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Before I could speak again, I heard someone walk in. I turned to see a large, older dude with a Santa Claus-style beard and tinted glasses. Julio? Harrison? He said, his deep voice bellowing. We both said, Yeah?
Oh, well, nice to meet you. And you guys as well. Graham said. He then pointed to a guy pulling things out of a white truck before introducing him as Carson, fourth and final maintenance worker. Carson just waved to us and continued on what we were doing.
Like he said, Graham returned 30 minutes later. All right, guys, follow me. Accompanying Graham was Carson. Now closer, I could get a better look at him. He was old as well, but skinny and bald. He didn't say anything or acknowledge us in the slightest, so I assumed he wasn't a social butterfly. Graham led us to a large golf cart, and we all hopped in. As we drove off, Graham began speaking.
You went on about how we clean the cabins. We have to make sure we put every bag and piece of furniture back in place. We also had to keep an eye out for wild animals as they could be dangerous to the campers.
I think it's funnier if I don't say that, actually. If that was just your interpretation of the character. Basically, yeah. He showed us several of the activity areas during our drive.
So he also posts a lot in our slash the masked singer. Yeah. And it's just, just talking. It's so weird. Cause you can, it's like, Oh, let me find out more about this guy's writing. And you can see everything they've ever commented on just laid out at once.
There was an archery station, a swimming pool, the lake with the large rope swing, a playground, an open field, a basketball court, a sand volleyball court, and a rec center with ping pong tables, air hockey, and a foosball table. There was also a small building that Graham said was a chapel, but he said it was never used and we wouldn't need to worry about it. Red flag. What? Oh, the chapel?
We actually don't know who built it and no one can read the writing on the door. Exactly. It's been locked with an unbreakable seal.
Imminent domain. Why did they buy it out? Don't know. I thought his response was odd, but I didn't ask anything afterwards. After driving around some more, Graham took us to the main lodge. The counselors were already there, and the cooks were in the kitchen cooking dinner.
Graham told us to mingle with the new counselors so we could at least know who we would be working with for the next seven weeks. Julio and I split off to meet the others individually. Most of the counselors were teenagers, with only a few being about my age and some being older than that. However, I was immediately made very uncomfortable by the ones I met.
Every time I would introduce myself, they would just stare in astonishment at me. It was as if they were staring at an elite celebrity making a surprise appearance. Some of them would even walk up to me and just stare, not saying a thing. After being made thoroughly uncomfortable, I went into the bathroom and hid until it was time to eat dinner.
I sat in the far back corner of the room, away from everyone else. However, even as I ate, I still felt eyes on me. After we ate our food, Amy got in front of the room and began to speak. It was actually then that I finally saw her in person. She was a middle-aged woman, maybe my parents' age, with gray-streaked black hair wrapped in a ponytail and a face that matched her age.
She told us that she was glad we had decided to work or return to work for the camp, and that she was excited for another great summer. After speaking for a few more minutes, we were dismissed for the night. I ended up staying back to talk to Amy about the counselors acting weird around me.
i don't yeah i don't know it's do you think that there's some kind of level of like anytime i say the name harrison all of the adults look at me weird and she's just yeah all the kids just like roll their eyes back and they fent flop right in front of me the uh the the okay hold on let me just call this out real quick the i made the joke earlier about this being harry potter this is literally the plot of harry potter
the first movie their dad his dad and mother was experienced to some evil and he was left with his parents and now he goes to the school or camp that they're from and when they get there everyone who knows his name is dumbstruck by it because he is like the boy of legend do you think that his that it's like oh this is like the son that was meant to return
Yeah. Or like there, there's some reason the dad knew his son had to go back for whatever reason, whatever reason.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. The just staring. So funny though. Like what a Harrison, what with that? She walked away. I was so confused and actually a little concerned, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. I decided when her eyes rolled back at her head and she started floating in front of me that, you know, maybe she does that. Maybe she was right.
The counselors might be just really weird people. I walked back by myself to my apartment, but as I was passing the chapel, something caught my eye. I walked up the stoop and looked through the window on the door. Inside, there was a small light flickering at the far end of the room. I see the outline of someone kneeling on the ground, their back facing me.
I knelt down and put my ear up to the door to listen. I began to hear whispering. Dear Savior, I have discovered it, and I will do it. This is what you've wanted. I'm so excited to meet you. I then began to hear crying, but not of pain or despair. Rather, it was crying of joy. Then he began whispering again.
I won't let you down we'll all be at peace soon fuck that dude on day one I'm just rolling up I would leave are you fucking kidding me you gotta get out of there absolutely fuck that dude fuck that creeped out I decided it was time to go but when I got up and looked inside again I nearly pissed myself Bigger was now right against the door looking out the window. Oh, my God.
And you know what? Good for him. That's why I say good for him. Look, he's enjoying his life. He's having a great time. And then we're just jerks coming along to make his day worse.
Staring at me with an angry look on his face. I recognized it to be Carson. Oh, my God. It's even one of the other employees.
You know what? I think it's fine. That normally happens whenever I come over to your place. You come into the room and I'm on the ceiling praying. Yeah, every time.
He's like, we went out to a barbecue place last time I was there. And you know, my food gets to the table. So I like bow my head real quick. And Hunter just goes, ew, gross. Yeah, I did. I did.
We're about to show this guy what religious persecution really looks like. Come on, everyone. Let's get around and make fun of him.
I think it's worth dying. Correct. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I bolted back to the apartment and was thankfully not followed by Carson. Once inside, I slammed the door behind me, scaring Julio half to death.
Yes. So he has three entries to r slash two sentence horror. And they go, I'm going to read them chronologically. Okay. I bought the most expensive pair of noise-canceling headphones I could find. Despite how good they are supposed to be, I can still hear the voices. As I blew out the candles and my joyful relatives told me to make a wish, I did so silently.
That feels good to me. It's going to be so funny when in a bit it's like, yeah, I'm from Baltimore.
I mean, he can, but it's just funny to imagine that he's like third generation American. Completely. Maybe he is.
Also, why would he not tell him though about the Carson thing? I mean, he doesn't know what he saw yet. This guy heard his dad through the wall. He blithely said, dude, dude, dude.
He heard his dad down the hallway being like, I don't know if we could send it back. All the things that's the place I talked about. And he's like, huh? Well, that's kind of weird. I guess I'll go to sleep now. Oh, well. It's true. He is not putting anything together with this guy he just met. Absolutely not. Okay, that's fair. That's fair.
I didn't respond and just went to our shared bedroom to go to sleep, only to wake up at an unknown time. I heard voices coming from outside my window. I peeked through the blinds to see Amy talking with Graham and Carson.
I mean, yeah, I feel like that's more so an issue in the writing side of it because you could have had the three of them just walk away to where you can't hear them or something like that.
I didn't care anymore. It's like, there, there's a, there's been a couple instances of that where it's like just some interesting choices with the character where it's like, when I got to camp, Graham was there. He said, I'll be back in half an hour. Half an hour later, he showed up and said, okay, time for the tour. Just going directly on the tour. It's true.
And so I think that's what I think that is. It's like, okay, that's all the information our main character needs to know now. And he's done. He's tired now. He's going to bed. Horrified, I quietly sauntered back to my bed and curled up in a ball under the blankets. Julio, thankfully, didn't wake up from me moving around. Somehow, I managed to fall back asleep and woke up the next morning.
At breakfast, I was eating my food when I noticed that ten of the counselors at another table were again taking glances at me. Every few seconds, one of them would look my way. At that point, I had enough and walked over and confronted them. What do you want? None of them responded. Really? You stare at me, and when confronted, you have nothing to say?
Before they even got to say anything, I felt someone grab my shoulder. I turned to see Amy, looking at me with a stern look on her face.
I asked her, only to get no response as she walked away. I'd had enough and decided to throw my food away and walk back toward my apartment. During my walk, I passed by the chapel again. Given that it was now daytime, I decided to get a better look at this place. As I looked around the room, I saw a large painting of a man. The man was pretty tall, his body stocky and built.
He appeared to be in his 30s, if not a little younger. He was shirtless, and in his left hand was a red book. Below the painting was a word in blue letters. I assumed it was a name, but I had never heard of this name before. Said, Cherino. I was so intrigued by the pain I didn't even notice someone had walked up to me. What are you doing? Someone asked.
I couldn't say aloud that I wished for the abuse to stop. And then finally, chills went down my spine as I made eye contact with the man who was staring at me through the window. Guess I won't be able to break into this house anymore.
I slowly turned to see Graham standing there.
Now come on. I want to show you the shed with all the lawn equipment in it. We walked off, me still feeling very weirded out by everything here. Camp hasn't even started yet, but I already regret coming here. What have I gotten myself into?
The war hero thing is so funny. Where it's like, oh, this painting. War hero. That's it? Yep. Yep.
Look, look, you, you've got this habit with these stories where you expect things of them. You're like, okay, this next part, I need this. And this, I need this. Look, I don't, if it's awful, I want to look back on it and be like, wow, that was a train wreck.
Or like, there is that one interaction where, um, you heard Graham outside be like, um, or no, he was fighting them. And Amy was like, I don't know why we let you work here. If you don't agree with our beliefs, it's like, why, why would she say that? That sounds like a weird expositionary phrase to throw out there.
I think they're going to sacrifice or he's going to be a vessel or something like that.
Let's get it. Part two. A few days later, Camp Oakwood's first session officially began. Around 100 campers, aged 5 to 10, were dropped off by their families for their week-long stay. Julio and I watched from outside our apartment as the mass of children were greeted by a cheerful Amy and all the counselors.
After the staff finished their cringy introduction, the campers were all brought to their respective cabins to, I assume, unpack their belongings. Graham told us that, on the first night of each session, there would be a big bonfire that was supposed to symbolize the beginning of the campers' time at Camp Oakwood.
Graham put Julio and Carson in charge of setting it up while Graham and I were to clean it up once the whole thing was done. 50-50 split of work, as Graham liked to call it. At that moment, I was feeling mixed emotions. On one hand, I was still creeped out by the counselors and other staff, and I didn't know how bad the kids would be.
On the other, however, I was ready to start most of my work so that I could hopefully get my mind off of everyone's behavior around me. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait too long for that. While Julio and I continued chatting, Graham called us over the radio, telling us to hurry over to one of the cabins.
Apparently, a camper had already vomited all over his cabin's floor and some of the camper's bags, and we needed to clean it up. Graham and Carson were already busy setting up bullseye targets at the archery station, which meant that we, the rookies, would have to get our hands dirty.
Which is coincidentally the thing you told me about how you discovered yourself in the seventh grade, was it? Sixth grade? So this is, I'm sure, a very personal story for you.
Grabbed the necessary supplies from the small maintenance shed that was located next to our housing wing and hurried over to cabin five. We arrived to see about 20 campers and two counselors outside the cabin holding their noses with their shirts from the smell. One camper stood away from everyone else. You could see stains on the kid's shirt from a mile away.
Yeah, you can't. You really fucking cannot. They're cool in high school to be like, oh, set up punchline. Oh, look at that. A set up punchline like they're cool when you're just getting into writing. But there's really I mean, there's no way to make them compelling. It's cause like they're, they're those old, well, I think it was a Hemingway who had that. What's it for sale?
You could also smell it from another city away. One of the counselors, who I had not yet met up to that point, came running up to us. He was young as well, maybe my age, with really light blonde hair and a fade-styled haircut.
Counselor said before turning to the campers and the other counselor.
With that, they briskly made their escape, leaving Paxton alone with us. We told them to stay outside while we walked toward the cabin. We had all of our cleaning supplies ready, but we had to fight the smell and the urge to vomit at the same time. Finally got enough courage to go inside. How bad did this kid vomit? Dude.
Oh my God. Disgusting. After several long minutes, we managed to get rid of the vomit itself. The smell lingered, but not as strong as before. Just as we were walking out, I noticed a poster hanging on the wall above the bed directly next to the door. It was a replica of the painting hanging in the chapel. Hey, look at this, I told Julio while pointing at it.
I responded before grabbing my walkie to Radio Graham. Hey, Graham, we finished cleaning up the vomit. What now? About five seconds later, Graham came over the walkie. Okay, Corson and I finished setting up. We now need to go set up the rec center. Start heading over there. Julio and I put the stuff back up and walked to the rec center.
As I previously mentioned, the rec center was a small shelter that had games such as ping pong, foosball, and air hockey. There were also smaller games like checkers and chests that were set up on benches and tables. It was mainly used by the more quiet campers during the free time of the day, which was during the two-hour interval for lunch. Well, it was supposed to have all this stuff.
The problem was nothing had been set up yet. When Graham drove us by the rec center the previous week, the doors were closed and the windows were tinted, so I couldn't even tell if there was stuff already inside. Graham told us what was in there, but he never told us that it wasn't set up yet. Graham explained that we needed to set it all up so the campers could begin using the stuff the next day.
There was a small locked shed behind the rec center where all the stuff was kept. It took a while, but we managed to bring everything in and set it up accordingly. While setting up, I kept noticing Carson taking glances at me, at one point staring at me for a solid minute. I was already fed up by the counselors doing this, so I already knew I wasn't going to deal with this bullshit.
Baby shoes, never worn that whole thing. It was some early American author. So, and it's like, oh yeah, that's impactful. And it's so short. So a bunch of people try to mimic that. And the thing that they just get across is impact, not severity of what made the original sentence. So cool, but whatever it, it look, I'm sure that will not relate to the actual writing day.
However, given what happened in the chapel the week before, I didn't want to confront Carson on my own. So I stopped what I was doing and decided to tell Graham, who I found back in the shed, pulling out a box full of board games from one of the shelves.
Well, why don't you tell him if you have a problem with it? I really, really wanted to explain what I had seen the previous week in the chapel, but I bit my tongue and just told I was very creeped out by him. He could probably tell I was holding something back, but he accepted my excuse and told me he would handle it. gave me the box of board games, and left the shed.
As I walked out, I could see Graham and Carson talking, but couldn't hear them because they were talking quietly. In the end, Carson nodded and Graham walked back to the shed. True to Graham's word, Carson didn't stare at me again after that. Well, at least I hope he didn't. After we finished, we hopped back in the cart and drove back to our housing building.
Graham dropped the three of us off and told us to keep our walkies on in case something popped up. He then drove off towards the main lodge building. Julio and I went back inside our apartment and decided to chill for the rest of the day. We had already eaten lunch earlier that day before the campers arrived, so we wouldn't have anything else to do until the bonfire later that night.
While I was on the couch watching some show on our really old TV, Julio piped up from the small kitchen.
Up to that point, I hadn't told anyone about what I had seen on both the chapel and outside our window. However, at that moment, I felt I was trapped in a corner. Julio could tell something was up, so I needed to either come up with an excuse or spill the beans. After quick deliberation, I chose the latter. I needed help, and keeping it on my chest would only make it worse.
So I ended up telling him everything, from Carson in the chapel to Amy, Graham, and Carson talking outside our window in the middle of the night. Julio just stared at me, taking in what I was saying. When I was finally done, all he said was, Wow.
The story we're reading today is very highly rated.
He then went outside to smoke a cigarette.
Yeah, maybe. I want to trust him, though. I like Julio so far. I think Julio's just suspicious of everything that's happening around him. I feel like if he was in on it, he wouldn't. Yes, he's new, and I feel like if he was in on it, he wouldn't volunteer information about the guy that started the camp and stuff like that. I mean, that's true. As much as he does.
But to be fair, he's new, but he knows a lot about the guy. About the painting. I mean, he probably asked someone about him. Well, true. I'm just saying once again, still kind of odd. That's all I got to say. I think he's fine.
I think more than anything, he's just like, like if you got a new job and the guy's like, so turns out last night, all the people that hired us were outside our window talking about something. I'd be like, why are you not? Why are you just now telling me this? Why did I not get looped into this earlier? Yeah, no, that's fair. That's fair.
That's true. I thought about throwing one in. I thought about rewinds to be like, I looked at the man in the reflection. I suddenly realized it was the creature. It was the creature. My family asked what I wished for my birthday. I couldn't tell them I wished for the creature.
I stood there, wondering if what I did was the right decision. I mean, someone needed to know, and I spent more time with Julio since we practically slept in the same room. But I could have told Graham as well, since he seemed to be on my side when I found Amy, and Carson talking outside my room for the previous week.
I made a mental note to at least tell Graham when I had the chance, but I had to find the right moment to do so. Later that night, all the campers and staff gathered around the campfire. I ended up finding the counselor from Cabin 5, and I decided to formally introduce myself. To my shock, he didn't act surprised when I said my name.
He introduced himself as Percy before proceeding to tell me that he's been a counselor since they moved locations.
Anything ever major? He paused, mulling over something in his head. After about ten seconds, he continued. Don't tell anyone I told you this, but there was one thing that happened a while ago. Before he could finish, Amy called for everyone's attention. She was standing on top of a bench, holding a small bell in her hand. Hello, everyone! She said enthusiastically.
With that, she raised the bell over her head and shook it. The small bell sounded like a thousand coursing church bells. I stared in awe, trying to make sense of it. Everyone else didn't really react as if they had expected this. Once the sound of bells deafened, she began to sing. None of the words sounded like English, so I was- Oh my god.
That's a bit odd, but okay. It's a little strange. I guess. Oh, she must be Polish. Oh, she's probably Polish. That's what it is. Probably Polish. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Yep. I'm tracking. None of the words. That's such a funny line. None of the words sounded like English, so I wasn't able to understand it. I have to admit, though, she had a beautiful voice.
It was honestly so angelic that I looked up at her to make sure she wasn't playing a recording or something. After I looked up, I noticed everyone, though only some were singing along, were all bowing their heads. Well, except for one other person. As I panned the crowd, I saw Graham standing in the back, leaning against the trunk of a tree. We made eye contact with each other.
I made a confused face, trying to figure out why he was away from everyone else. All he did in response was shake his head in what looked like disappointment. I then turned back around and bowed my head once again. Amy finished her song and everyone looked back up at her. She then said, excitedly, it was time for s'mores, which was met by cheers of the campers.
I got up again, walking over to Graham. He met me halfway.
Speaker 0 7, an inch of beans and you got some old timer in the back. Like that's one of the Italians.
I don't think we have. I feel like we've gotten close to some of them. Like Spire in the Woods had like campfire moments.
If I've ever heard of them, that's what they sell. She must also be a Polish Polish Italian. That makes a lot of sense.
Well, there's one time, uh, at church, this was a few years back. My grandmother's hearing got really bad. So you had to like yell at her to talk to her at any point. Sure. And we, we were in church one day and, uh, at the beginning of the pastor was like, uh, all right, let us bow our heads for prayer. And like everyone bows their head in the room goes quiet.
And then you just hear my grandmother very loudly across the entire auditorium. Go. No, I believe the man was Italian Italian. And like the pastor heard it and he was like, try not to laugh, but also get through the prayer. And everyone was snickering at the same time. I wasn't sitting near my grandma, but someone must've like told her to shush or be quiet. And she goes, what?
Just, he's just Italian. He's just Italian. He's just Italian. I didn't say he was like awful or anything. I'm just saying, I believe the man was Italian. Yeah. For God's sakes. Graham told me I could get a s'more if I wanted one, but I told him I wasn't hungry.
We just stood there watching everyone else eat their s'mores before they began to disperse back to their respective cabins as planned Julio and Carson left. So Graham and I were the only ones who would be extinguishing the fire and cleaning up the remnants of chocolate and marshmallows after cleaning quietly for a while. Graham broke the silence. I see you and Percy are getting along.
Yeah, he's pretty chill. I looked up to see Graham smiling while throwing more detritus. What is detritus? I don't know. I'm looking it up. Detritus? I imagine that means trash. Waste or debris of any kind. Can you say trash?
Yeah, that's what we think. Well, no, knowing our luck, we're going to get started with it. It'll be like camp Oakwood was the nickname for a human trafficking ring in my small town.
To be honest, I didn't think Graham could become that emotional or deep. My first impression of him was a stone-cold, hard-nosed man who just did his job and nothing else. But now, he's starting to appear more human. I don't know why, but I was just fascinated by it. So fascinated by it that I forgot to tell him what I had told Julio hours before.
We finished cleaning up not long after and went back to our respective apartments. Julio wasn't there when I arrived, but his car wasn't either, so I guessed he'd left the campgrounds to do something. I didn't know if that was allowed once the session was in progress, but I decided not to do anything about it.
That one's fine, but there's several instances of him being like, this thing happened and I didn't do anything. I just really could not give a fuck. I didn't do that. The thing I could have done there, yep, not me. I was not going to do that. Decided to not do that at all. There it is. Yes. Not happening. Yeah, there's several instances of him just being like, and I didn't do it.
Once I got inside, I decided to take a shower. After spending about 10 minutes under the shower head, I turned off the water, grabbed a towel, and pulled open the shower curtain. After drying off, I went to grab my clothes, but when I checked the countertop, they were missing. I thought I had placed them on the countertop before I got in, but I must have forgotten to.
I wrapped the towel around my waist again and started walking toward the bathroom door. It's when I noticed the bathroom door was cracked open. I was positive I had shut and locked it, so my body immediately had stopped. My phone was in my bedroom charging, so if I had to call for help, I'd have to build up enough courage to get out of the bathroom. I eventually peeked my head outside the door.
When I did so, I saw no one inside. Julio? Called out, hoping he was just pulling a messed up prank on me. I got no response. I peered back to my left and found my clothes on a chair next to the table. Damn it, I left them out here, I thought to myself as I reached out for them. All of a sudden, a bright flash filled the room.
I turned around and saw a hooded figure dressed in black and wearing sunglasses, holding a camera. I cursed out loud in shock and the hooded figure ran for the door. Amid the chaos, I managed to grab the back of his hood, making the back of his head visible.
i could do anything else hooded figure opened my door and ran out into the night i would have ran after him but i was in only a towel and barefoot and the ground outside was gravelly so i knew there was no chance i could get him although i didn't see his face i knew who it was i recognized him based off the blonde fade style haircut it was percy weird man you feel like you like a character then yeah i don't know if they're
Well, I think you're right. I also thinking about it. I'm pretty sure Sherino is a jumbled up spelling of Harrison. Oh yeah. Like same letters, whatever the word for that is, there's a word for it, but whatever the word for it is, I think that Shrino is that for Harrison. Um, so I guarantee you, he's supposed to be the second incarnation, but Percy was just a camp counselor.
You seem like he wasn't in on it as much as everyone else was. So that's interesting that he is so interesting that that was kind of a menacing moment of like the, uh, you know, his clothes just placed outside so that they had an opportunity to get a picture of him naked. Maybe they're looking for a symbol on him or something like that on his shirt or back.
Yeah. Some reason they need him. They need a picture of him in just a towel. Maybe. Anyway, on to part three. Part three! Julio returned a few minutes later to find me shaking in terror.
I grabbed my clothes and went back into the bathroom. Through the door, I could hear Julio on the phone. About two minutes later, there was a loud knock at the door. Julio opened it, and both Amy and Graham walked in. Amy quizzed me on what happened, wanting to make sure it was indeed Percy who broke in. Graham, meanwhile, sat there silently.
Also, thank you guys so much for the support that you've been showing us on audio platforms like Spotify. Continue to show support over there. Not only do we have Spotify rankings now, we also have a YouTube chart now, Hunter. And me and you are 15th in the world, or at least in the US, I think, on Spotify. on YouTube. You know what? It's not just us.
After several minutes of questioning, Amy got up to leave. I asked her if she wanted to call the police, but she said it wouldn't be necessary.
Before I could even respond at all, she slammed the door, leaving the three of us in the apartment.
Graham yelled, causing me to jump. Shit, sorry. What?
Before I could even move, Graham stood up and grabbed me by the arm with a very painful grip. Do not make that mistake, he said to me. I, now legitimately scared, just nodded and he let go of my arm.
Same with you, Julio, though I doubt you will. Julio nodded while I remained silent. Graham sighed and then began.
Okay, so this is like a Rothschild level, like super upper levels of society, secret cabal thing.
Yeah. Yeah. It's like a tradition that your parents would have taught you about. Yeah. What's the what's the quote from Bohemian Grove? Weaving spiders come not here. It's like over the front sign of the camp. It's like that, all the secret handshakes and codes and stuff like that. Yeah. I'd say, I'd say that's probably what this is. And it leads back to some ritual or something.
It's like a secret. It's a place secret society members send their kids to camp. Maybe that's why all the counselors act so damn weird. I thought to myself, I guess me, Graham and Hooli are the only normal people they've ever hired. Moments later, we got another knock on the door. Julio opened it to reveal a police officer.
I guess she did decide to call the police. I thought to myself, give a brief rundown of what happened, and the Officer Marino thanked me and left.
Yeah. Well, I think that, I think that was a fake cop. I think true. That's the reason Amy left so quickly. They had a fake cop come and like, so that way he wouldn't feel like he needed to call. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, maybe like a weird hazing ritual thing, like a weird.
Yeah. What's that word they use for like people in like secret societies have to publicly embarrass themselves. Humiliation ritual. Yeah.
I was up nearly all night trying to figure out what Percy's motive was. Nothing appeared to be stolen, so I couldn't really say robbery was the main motive. I did come up with a crazy theory that maybe his motive was to take an indecent photo of me and then use it as some sort of blackmail. However, I wasn't completely naked.
I was wearing a towel pretty much up to my belly button, and my back was facing him. All he could have saw was the back of my head, the back of my neck, and my entire back, which kind of amounts to nothing. Eventually, I decided to just let it go and move on. Percy had been taken away. He was no longer a threat to me now. At around 11 a.m.
the next morning, while Hooli and I were hanging around the apartment, we heard a commotion coming from outside. We looked outside to see the counselors ushering the campers back into their cabins and other staff running over to the chapel. We followed suit and ran over to the chapel. A few people were yelling for the nurses. Eventually, we found Graham in the crowd and asked him what happened.
A few minutes later, the nurses came out with Carson. The front of his shirt was stained red. Everyone stared in awe as he was carried towards the nurse's station. I noticed no ambulance or EMTs around, so I guess Amy didn't want them involved either. After the small hysteria ended, everyone went back to what they were doing.
Uh, yes. Hold on real quick. I just, just to give an update so we can let people know we are 15th on YouTube and we are 19th on Spotify. So I think we've effectively killed Ben Shapiro on both, which was our goal from the get go. So I'm thankful to you all for that. And Oh, talk to is gone.
Graham told us we would have to finish any work we still have that day without Carson, which thankfully wasn't too much. We ended up finishing around 2 p.m. As you can probably imagine, I was near my breaking point. In fact, I was very close to going up to Amy and handing in my resignation. However, part of me wanted to at least finish this session in order to get my money.
I didn't care if it wasn't much, but I would rather leave with some money rather than no money. I've come this far. I'll stop now. But still, I was seriously coming close to quitting. I had enough of the secrecy and the weirdness of it all. At around 6pm, while I was still contemplating whether I should quit or not, I got a text from Amy.
I sighed and began putting my shoes on. What's up?
I responded and walked out. Amy lived by herself in a single floor house on the other side of camp. After several minutes of walking, I eventually reached the house. Knocked on her front door and she opened up.
She led me into her kitchen and told me to sit down. Once I was seated, she sat down directly across the table from me.
Sure. She got up and grabbed two cups from her cupboard and grabbed the coffee pot. She began to pour coffee into my cup, when all of a sudden, she dropped the pot, spilling hot coffee all onto my shirt. Jesus. I screamed out in pain from the hot coffee, and Amy began profusely apologizing for spilling it on me.
Yeah, they're checking his shirt. His chaster is back for something. I didn't give up my shorts, but I gave her my shirt. Turned around to grab more paper towels to clean up the coffee on the table. What's that on your back? Yep. Yep. I'll look. Fair trap.
Yeah, it's like a birthmark or something that relates back to... Some kind of mark. Again, once again, it is Harry Potter. He has the same scar that Voldemort has. It's a giant lightning bolt on his back. But yeah, he's got the same thing that Sharon had. So anyway, yeah. I asked her where am I back and she pointed near my waistline, right where the waistband of my shorts were.
Didn't even have to look in the mirror to know what she was pointing to.
my scar i got it when i was little the reason why though is pretty messed up yeah i was attacked by a wizard in the night and he marked my forehead well you see you see uh the dark lord came to try to kill me but my mother put a protection spell over me and that caused you know the my mother and the wizard to die at the same time but because of that he placed part of his soul into me and it's right here in my back the reason why though is pretty messed up what do you mean
It was, without a doubt, my worst childhood experience. There was something I was going to... Oh, yeah, the murdered girl that he mentioned or that Graham mentioned. They said her name. What was her name? There was a little girl murdered. Did I say it? I don't know why. Sharon. I almost said Charlotte.
that is very similar to what was the name of the place share or the guy's name. It was, uh, sure. Reno. I feel like that's a little quits a deal that the girl that was murdered is Sharon and the guy calls himself sure. Reno. And again, both of those are similar to Harrison. So I think that maybe the, um, Hold on. I had a thought here.
Oh, I think maybe that at the previous location, they tried to sacrifice this girl and they killed her and it didn't work. So then they have to redo it again. And now Harrison's their next subject.
It's just similar. I mean, it was like a similar, they thought that that was like the pre Harrison or something. Yeah.
I was six years old at the time. I was outside playing by myself in the backyard, kicking a soccer ball around. I'd spend a lot of afternoons outside doing whatever I wanted. I just kicked the soccer ball into the miniature goal I had when I heard the backyard gate screech open. I turned to see a red-haired woman with a scary face. Before I could even let out a scream, she charged at me.
I don't remember much after that, but I do remember being rushed into the hospital, my parents crying hysterically. My back was on fire, and I remember seeing blood on my clothes. Thankfully, the wound wasn't too serious, and I was stitched up and good to go. My parents quickly moved to another town several hours away, which is where I still live now.
The woman was never caught, even though my dad got a full view of her face. He said he didn't recognize her, and even though he met with a sketch artist, no new leads came of it. Do we think that this woman is... No, because Amy has black hair, so probably not.
I'm just glad I didn't have to kill myself. That's true. That was a thing. Well, we never know. The gun is always loaded. All right. Okay, sure. You go ahead. Get into the story. Read the intro. Here we go. Work at Camp Oakwood. Looking for maintenance staff. No experience needed. The ad stuck out like a sore thumb on the wall at a coffee shop I frequented.
Yes, so Langster Gangster is the author of this story. This story came recommended by a couple people, I believe, in our comments. And on r slash nosleep, the first part of the story has 2.5 thousand upvotes. So it looks like it was certainly adored by a lot of people. Funny enough, in comparison to that, our author doesn't seem to write a ton of stories, at least according to his subreddit.
Yeah, I put on my long legs today. That is a menacing note to imagine, like, a small child just being attacked by an adult. I mean, horrifying. The image he describes, too, of, like, I was just playing soccer in my backyard, and then I turn around and there's a woman standing there. Yeah, just standing there.
With that, she walked off and I went to the bathroom to dry off. After I got out, I saw another room down the hall with a bluish light coming from it. I looked inside to see that light was coming from a turned on computer monitor. I looked at the webpages and discovered it to be a chat room. There was about 30 people in it. I recognized a few names, including Julio, Carson, Percy, and Amy.
All right, maybe I was wrong about trusting Julio. That's sad. Curious and a bit snoopy, I scrolled through the chat logs and eventually reached the week I'd applied for the job. The body tensed up while I read they were talking about. Given that I don't remember everything that was said, I'll try and recount the important bits of it. Some of the names I don't recognize, but I'll state them anyway.
The last message was right after that, and it was dated for the morning after Percy broke into my apartment. That morning.
Well, I was wrong about Julio. I apologize. It seems that he is a part of the gambit. It's just a bit.
It was also new, given that I was at the coffee shop the previous day and the poster wasn't there. At the time, I was unemployed and living at home with my parents. Every time I would go to... Yes.
I don't know. You get your bear. Go ahead. Make the bear trap. You're right. And I fought you on it. I fought that bear trap, but it was real.
Yeah. Yeah. And in hindsight, he did know a suspiciously large amount. I liked Julio too.
That's rough. So is the part where she says at the, in the first conversation where Amy says, based on the look at his face, he seemed very interested. At the beginning of the story, Harrison said that when he left the cafe, there was a blonde woman across the street who was watching him. It was Amy.
So since we know Amy to be black-haired and blonde-haired, I'm going to take a bet and say she was also the red-haired woman who attacked him. I still think that's...
So they need to do a prayer from her or Sharino's book or whatever, and they need to carve him in the same way Sharino was carved with the same ritual. Is that what they're saying? I'm thinking so. And also earlier that day, Carson said, I figured out the first process. I haven't figured out the one after that, though. And that's when he stabbed himself.
So Carson went ahead and did the first step of the ritual, it seems. And that's why he stabbed himself. And now he's in Amy's house.
That's pretty menacing. Okay. I could feel my heart racing a mile a minute as I stared at the computer screen. I had a deep suspicion that there was more to Percy breaking into my apartment, and this seemed to confirm it. I looked up towards the top of the screen to find another tab open. I clicked on it to reveal a grid of black and white security cameras.
My stomach churned when I saw one of a very recognizable bedroom. My shared bedroom. It was being filmed from the top corner of the room. I never noticed it before, so it must have been hidden in the wall. There was a date and time slot near the edge of the screen. I decided to snoop through it. Sure enough, it showed me and Julio going through our daily rituals.
Oh. I'm unemployed and living at home with my parents.
I then noticed that one of the cameras was outside the housing wing on the corner of the building, which gave a perfect view of our front door. I decided to navigate to the footage of the previous night. As I'd expected, Julio left a few minutes before I got back. It then showed me walking in and shutting the door. Fast forward to about 10 minutes later, what I saw sent chills down my spine.
Percy walked up to the door, but behind him was Amy. Amy stepped forward and used the key to unlock my door. Both of them went inside. A minute or so later, Amy came out and gave a thumbs up to Percy inside my apartment. A few minutes later, Percy sprinted out of the apartment, and a couple of minutes after that, Julio pulled back into the small parking lot next to the wing.
I couldn't believe what I had just seen. This whole shit had been planned by Amy. But why? I couldn't understand. Then I realized. My scar disappeared. My scar would be the only noteworthy thing on the back of my body. However, I knew for a fact that my towel covered it up, considering how close it was to my tailbone. Also, my scar was a straight line. It wasn't that impressive.
If anything, I thought to myself, Horace's crescent stab wound would be much more impressive than it hit me.
gonna believe that this little detail slipped from my mind i never considered it important and none of my co-workers mentioned it at all to me despite how seemingly obvious it was sharino is my name unscrambled and would you look at that no shit that is an effective guess what it's what it's like not even cleverly scrambled though
No, that definitely wasn't the first three years I was on YouTube. I don't know what you're talking about. I was unemployed and living at home with my parents, so every time I would go to the coffee shop, I would browse the wall in search of jobs I could possibly obtain. Of course, there wouldn't be any big paying jobs available, but I hoped there would be something appealing.
Rash rhino. Rash rhino would have been kind of sick, too. Rash rhino. You'd miss an H. You'd be missing an H, but it's pretty close. I'll take it. Before I could even process any more information, I heard Amy yelling from down the hallway, announcing that my shirt was ready. I shut off the computer and briskly made my way back to the kitchen.
I made it just in time because she arrived in the kitchen about five seconds later. I thanked her, trying to hide my fear as best as I could, and I raced back to the apartment. I grabbed my keys and dashed to my car, only for my worst nightmare to be realized. My tires were slashed. I reached back inside the apartment. Julio wasn't anywhere, but I saw his car in the parking lot.
Honestly, though, I was glad he wasn't there. I saw his name in the group chat. He was in this shit just as much as they were. I didn't know what to do. My only way of transportation was now ruined, and I didn't know the woods well enough to try and run out into them. I was hyperventilating on the verge of tears, so I drank some water and began to plan out my next steps.
I had to stay calm, but I also needed to be quick if I wanted to get out of there. After about 20 minutes of debating what would be the best course of action, I decided I should at least call for help. Whether it was the police, my parents, or somebody, I went to grab my phone, but then I began to feel awful. My head started spinning, my vision blurred, and I began to feel sick and weak.
That's all I remembered before passing out. I jolted awake at an unknown hour. I didn't know how long it had been out, but it appeared to have been a while. I found myself on the floor near the couch. There were no lights on in the apartment, but I saw an orange light coming from outside. I cautiously peeked out the window. Outside, surrounding a campfire, were the counselors and other staff.
I saw Julio, Amy, and the other staff members I recognized all sitting around the fire talking. Graham wasn't anywhere in sight. Neither was Carson. I saw Percy near the back of the group. There were also no campers in sight. Before I could even react or try to figure out what was going on, my phone dinged. I checked my phone to see that it was a text from a number I didn't have on my cell phone.
It read. It read, Get out of the apartment through your bedroom window. There's a bicycle located right outside the window. Take the path behind your building and bike towards Redacted, using your phone for directions. Make sure you're not followed. That's gotta be Graham, right? Yeah, I think it's Graham, yeah.
Just as I finished reading that text, I felt that familiar feeling of having eyes on me again. I didn't want to look up, but I forced myself to. Everyone at the campfire was now watching me. We're all looking at the window, staring at me with hateful, evil looks on their faces. I immediately bolted toward the bedroom window and practically ripped its screen off.
Outside was a large yellow bike resting against the wall. I hopped on and started pedaling as fast as I could down the back path. with it eventually leading me into the dark forest. Hmm, part four. End of part three.
And in the middle of that wall was that poster about a summer camp located many hours away from home. I don't know why it piqued my interest, though it was probably the aspect of me being able to get away from home. A job that would let me live somewhere without my folks sounded luxurious to me.
There has been admittedly a lot of intensity as of late, been a lot of heavy topics and stuff. So every now and then just fun is good. We're not, we're not out of the woods yet though. We're not out of the woods. The first three parts have been fun. The first three parts have been enjoyable. Part four of five though. It's moving along. I will say that it is. It is part four.
I pedaled as fast as I could until I reached the location, which turned out to be an abandoned grocery store's parking lot. In the parking lot was a white truck with its headlights turned off. I then got a text that read, I'll come to you. Stay put. The driver's side door opened and out came a man who appeared to be in his 30s. When I saw him, I felt like I had seen him somewhere before.
His face was one that sparked recognition, but I couldn't pinpoint where I'd seen him before. Did they follow you?
I doubt response if Doug began talking.
It also paid decently well, so after thinking over it a bit while sipping my coffee, I decided to take the poster off the wall and bring it home. Shop allowed that, of course. I wasn't going to steal anything I wasn't allowed to take. As I walked out the coffee shop, I noticed a blonde-haired lady staring at me from the opposite side of the street.
Just that. Look, just for anyone out there riding, if you ever get to a point in your story where you are suddenly like, well, here comes the paragraphs where I have to explain things. Don't just don't. Just don't do that. It's fine. If the audience has questions, good. That's where they theorize. It's where it is good to not explain things sometimes.
You know, it's really funny in my head because Harrison's on a bicycle and the guy steps out of a car and he's like, okay, they could be here any minute now. I'm going to very quickly tell you about this cult. And as he's explaining it, you can see their flashlights in the woods getting closer and Harrison's like, can we do this in the car?
You could have at least called a friend, maybe a buddy, someone to be in the parking lot with us. I can't even get reception. If I wanted to call the police, I couldn't.
Yeah, take that in. Just in a parking lot, just standing around. Okay, so... Granted, I was, like, memeing during that whole thing, but... So the, this original horse guy made a cult based off a native religion after he slaughtered them. And then after he dies, a bunch of other cult leaders come forward and these, the people from the camp are their followers, right?
That's pretty much everything that was said without as many words, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I stood there in disbelief while listening to everything Doug was explaining to me. Honestly couldn't tell if this guy was being serious or not. Still, I kept quiet and let him continue.
A female voice said. Hi, is this Camp Oakwood?
Maybe if they take you, I'll be safe and I can take the truck. So just hand me the keys and I'll sit in the car. Long story short. You can stay here.
Okay, that whole like, well, person A gets possessed of person B, that sounds like something we would say making fun of a convoluted ritual. Being like, so person A has to get possessed, and then they have to kill person B. Again, if you feel the need to explain something in the story, don't. If it's that awkward to shove in. Jesus Christ. I said the seriousness of the situation hitting me hard.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me, was the first thought that formed in my head.
How do you know all this? It was a question I'd been wanting to ask since he began his monologue on the history of Horace's Harmony.
She then asked me for my phone number, email, and asked a few questions. I told her basic information about myself. After answering them, she told me when I would need to show up to start working. I was confused and asked her what she meant. Yeah, you're hired. We need people.
We've been here for 40 minutes. Long story short. Thankfully, they've gotten lost twice, but I've seen the flashlights go over the hill three times now, so they have to. By process of elimination, they're going to be in this parking lot sooner than later. Long story short, I'm addicted to ketamine. And I love opioids.
I then heard a text alert, and Doug pulled out his phone to read what was on the screen. Look, sorry. I have to end it here.
He just wasted 30 minutes of his escape time. Just making it up. Also, I imagine it's a red herring, but if it turns out to be true, it's like, oh, my name's an anagram. And he's like, well, that's a coincidence. That's going to be the stupidest. I guess the scars of coincidence. They're really just mad at your dad. It's going to be the most frustrating.
As he got in, he turned back and yelled at me.
Sadly, I didn't hear anything he said after the first five words because it's previously stated he was driving away. So the end of that was completely incomprehensible.
Putting long story short and the one legitimate time it was in the story was cruel to do that to us. That was like mockery. Okay, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the rest of the story would have operated just fine and everything would have worked if you removed that entire interaction. If Doug doesn't exist, you take that dialogue out, the story will probably flow better.
I love you. No need to check that. I love you. No need to check that or anything. They're definitely feeding people to something, if I had to guess. That's my bear trap that I'm going to play. Where's that card at? So I'm playing this for, what is it, two damage or whatever? I'm playing this that they want to kill him in the sacrifice or feed him to something or something like that.
And then the next stage has happened. And then at the end, if he like uses information, Doug gave him to stop the ritual or whatever. We could have figured that out. If he decides to stab someone or something.
Why am I here right now? Why do you have to leave me here?
It's unbelievably lame. It's also insane that, uh, like from that moment on it progressively got worse.
I love that. He's like, I know what I'll do. I'll bring Germany into this.
Yeah, so you need to be... Long story short, you should... Just a man completely unburdened from like... I'm doing this for fun. I love him. I'm having a good time. I'm going to bring... You know what? I'm going to bring Franz Ferdinand into this because I want to.
He had a bunch of critical guys in the comments, and he was like, I literally don't need you.
You think people are going to read these things? Is that what you think? You think there's going to be a podcast or something? The Saints and Pelicans have a hard spring ahead of them. That's all I'm worried about. I made this while I was drunk on Friday night.
And you think there's going to be some guys are going to come along five years from now and they're going to read this and try to pick it apart for like it's literature merits. That honestly makes them so cool.
I'm gonna write this. I'm gonna post it. Honestly, I gotta say though, I'll save the rest for after the story's done. We're almost done. He then started his truck and drove off, leaving me alone in the parking lot. I still didn't completely trust this guy, given that he just abandoned me in a parking lot.
Because he works at the fucking camp with the information.
these guys are going to come along and ask where he got his number really that's their problem with it they're going to ask where he got his number I trusted him over everyone else at the camp heck I can't even trust Graham at this point though he hasn't shown himself to be a huge believer in this stuff but who knows what he does in private he could have a shrine to Horace Oakwood for all I know in his apartment but if he isn't maybe he was the old guy Doug was referring to but he never mentioned he had a son so I wasn't sure about that either
All I knew was that I needed to get out of these woods and figure out my next steps. I hopped back on the bike and started pedaling back down the highway that was connected to the parking lot. After about an hour of biking, I needed to take a breather. I hopped off and went into the tree line surrounding the highway.
Thankfully, it was completely dead at night, so I didn't see any cars coming up and down the two-way road. The whole hour I was biking, however, all I could think about was my dad. He claimed he had been at this camp before as a counselor, but must have done something so horrific that they're after me now. Even though it had been years and time usually heals the wounds.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, you love sacrificing people. That's similar to what happened to you in seventh grade, if I recall correctly. It's true. After a few seconds of shock, I became ecstatic. That's great. When do I start?
He asked, his tone becoming more annoyed with every passing second.
There was a long pause, and I mean long. It's been about a minute before he spoke again. I'm so sorry, Harrison.
I expected him to tell me the reason, but instead he told me something else that threw another curveball into this whole saga.
Oh, man. Can you finna forgive me? Now I imagine him, he's wearing those DC shoes and he's got a gold chain on. It's like whatever that hair that Gen Z TikTokers have, like the curly hair. He's like, bruh. He keeps doing the arm thing, the gun thing. About to air this out. He then began quietly sobbing, but I didn't even get to do anything else.
While listening to my dad, I hadn't noticed that a car had pulled up alongside the road. When I finally did notice it, I saw blue lights blaring on top of the car. It was a police car. An officer turned on his flashlight and pointed at me. I had the phone call and began shielding my eyes.
He gave out a surprise. Oh, right. For turning off his flashlight, he led me back out onto the side of the road to talk to me. I began to tell him about what was going on, how I had basically ended up hiding on the side of a highway in the middle of the night.
Amy will take care of you. I looked up at him, dumbfounded by what he said. What? And then it hit me like a bullet to the skull. I remembered what Graham had told me when Amy said he would take care of Percy.
If Amy didn't like having the police involved, why would she have called them specifically for me? Took Sherlock a bit to put that one together. Wait, what? You're evil? I'm so scared. I looked up at Officer Marino and a soul-killing smile formed on his face. Before I could even react, he pulled the pistol out of his belt and pointed it at my head. Now come on, Harrison!
I then heard footsteps behind me, and just before the world faded back into darkness again, I finally remembered where I had seen Doug before. He was the man in the painting in the chapel at Camp Oakwood. Uh-oh. Part five. Oh, Doug looks like. Yeah. Sherino, right?
The painting. He's like, got it. If I see anyone that looks like this highly specific painting, I remember. I'll let you.
Okay, Doug, I'll never look at a painting again.
I keep forgetting things because I'm so scared. It's like the protagonist from the abandoned ship. Like every situation he gets any like shivers and throws up. All right. That was the end of part four. We're on to our final part.
I woke in a dimly lit room. The back of my head was aching terribly. When I attempted to touch it, I discovered that I couldn't move my arms. I looked over and found that my arms were tied up. I then looked down and found my legs were tied up too. They were tied up so that I was lying on my back spread eagle on whatever I was on.
Just as she was about to hang up, I realized I hadn't even given my name. During the entirety of the questioning and introductions, we both had not given our names.
He doesn't have any posts linking off to... a website or different places that he's writing, as opposed to a lot of authors we're familiar with. Instead, there is, it looks like four or five stories across no sleep in our slash, uh, night tells and scary stories. Uh, there's a few other shorter ones mixed in, but he's only done a few large projects.
He's so scared he's reverting to like childhood strategy. Oh.
Because he keeps saying and doing things that sound like a teenager. Yeah. I then noticed that I wasn't even on the ground. The board that I was situated on was about six feet off the ground. The board slightly angled back. I also noticed I wasn't wearing any clothes except for my boxers. He's waking up, I heard someone say.
I looked forward and saw that there was a massive crowd, at least 200 people, standing there watching me. I then recognized the room that I was in to be the chapel at the camp. In front of the large crowd, there were three figures wearing black robes, their faces shrouded with hoods.
Once everyone's attention was on me, the three hooded figures lowered their hoods, and I immediately recognized them to be Amy, Carson, and Julio. I also recognized some of the faces in the crowd, including Officer Marino, Percy, and the other employees of the camp.
I interrupted him. I know everything Doug told me. I like how Carson was ready to launch into the, uh, the evil villain monologue, but it's like, I've already got it. Thank you very much. I expected mild confusion or something to that effect, but instead Carson gave a loud laugh and smiled at me.
Me when I refer to one of my guys on the outside. Yeah, Doug, my good old outside guy. Yeah, you know, the way humans speak. Where? Oh, right. Just give me a second. I expected Doug to be dragged in or something, but that didn't happen. Instead, I saw something that had I not seen with my own two eyes, I would never believed. Carson's body began twitching and then it started to change shape.
His skinny body grew larger in size. His bald head began growing hair and his wrinkles started to fade from his face. After about 20 seconds, his body stopped morphing. Standing out where Carson once was, was Doug. No, because remember Carson said in the message earlier, he was like, I found a way to let my body be a vessel for Horace. So now like Horace can like transform. Yeah. And Doug's. Yeah.
I said, still stunned by what I just witnessed.
We can now drop the naming style of Doug as we have now established Doug.
You know, I, I think, I think you're right, Hunter. I think I was, I'm being critical on a story. That's clearly I'm supposed to have fun with. This is fun. He's transforming. There's a big ritual happening. I am now in fun.
It was unconsciously. Yeah. It was between the two pieces of fiction that he, he has consumed it, but the mass singer and Harry Potter, all we have to do is use those.
And it is, it is going to be the most dude, bro. Cool. That has ever existed. I love it. Oh, I was too stunned and too confused to understand what he just said. Ladies and gentlemen, Horace spoke out to the crowd.
It's almost sweet. The author being like, well, what if they don't understand what happened? I don't want them to be confused.
Everyone either murmured in excitement or didn't react. Julio and Amy didn't even flinch. They must have known all along.
Just the opening, Julio being like, so, unless Horace, also known as Doug for the purposes of this story and the reveal which just occurred, had not yet explained to the audience what is happening, I will now explain for what is the third time what is happening right now.
listen buddy you're already hired i don't give a shit what your name is just clean the diarrhea out of the bottom of the bottom of the stalls it's funny to imagine that like because obviously there's a front going on and she forgot to ask his name and in frustration she just slammed her head on the desk yeah bust her teeth out i gotta go do you think someone was there well let me ask you do you think someone was there like fucking like hit her or something like that
Gosh, okay. It took me a few seconds to understand what she said, but when I did... Okay, I'm going back to Shinji.
Never at all did I consider that Amy could have been the one who stabbed me, let alone also be my dad's ex-girlfriend. You're the one who stabbed me? I screamed at her, my words almost echoing in the chapel.
well long story hold hold hold hold hold on i'm just it's going to explain in a moment that she was also the blonde-haired girl across the street and he's also going to have that realization at the same time just wow wow long story short what better way to torture someone than by torturing the ones that they loved having a son become a new victim would be the ultimate punishment
My mind immediately flashed back to the day I discovered the help wanted ad at the coffee shop. When I walked out, I noticed a blonde woman staring at me. I never considered it important, but now... You... You motherfucker.
is awesome okay how you feel right now it's how i felt during i dared my best friend to ruin my life by the way this emotion you're feeling it's a nice it's a nice it's a nice switch I'm in agony because I was into it the first three seconds. I was like, this is fun. This is engaging. I like it. And now having every single second explained three times over is infuriating.
I think it depends on what the monster. Yeah. I think it depends on what the monster happening behind the scenes is.
You know, you can feel where it's kind of like, well, that was everything I wanted to tell. So now I'll just kind of explain those things that I wanted to tell. And then we'll, yeah. Yeah. I wasn't even scared anymore. I was seething with rage. I couldn't believe that this was so meticulously planned out. It seemed so staged, yet I knew it wasn't. I didn't say a word as Amy continued.
Not even three seconds after she said that, the doors to the chapel opened and two large men came in dragging somebody behind them. Hey, Amy! We found this guy snooping around! One of them said. You won't believe who it is! They threw the man forward and a grim but recognizable face became visible to me.
I like how it's like, hey, I want the dad to be at the climax. How do we get him there? And it's like, I don't know, maybe literally drag him in. He was snooping around like the fucking Scooby-Doo crew outside.
Amy, you have wanted me dead for so long. you want to kill me now's your chance just just before the ritual on me and you guys can finally have more peace please leave my son alone i looked at amy who was quiet for about 10 seconds before she made a decision you know what i think that's a great idea julio and carson who i hadn't noticed until then had morphed back into himself
Jess stared at her in disbelief. I tensed up, knowing what was about to happen. Amy walked up to my dad, and he closed his eyes and bowed his head.
It's standing behind her. And when she forgets to ask, it slams her head on the table. Yeah. I hung up the phone with mixed emotions. While grateful that I found a job, I found it perplexing that I was hired so quickly. I figured there was more to it, but at the moment, I was just too grateful and excited to really worry about it. That night, I told my parents about my new job.
Before anyone could react, she pulled out a knife and stabbed my dad in the neck.
My dad grabbed his snack and collapsed to the floor.
You piece of shit. I'm surprised you care. She said to me without a single ounce of emotion in her voice. He did let you come here.
I said, tears rushing down my face. My dad wasn't moving anymore. His body now lying in a pool of his own blood. I knew he was dead. All right. Well, now that we got that over with, can we please continue?
I asked him all while still crying.
All right, let's get started. Isn't Carson possessed by Horace? Can't Horace just say if it's the right... Whatever. Carson grabbed a stepladder and walked up to it to reach the area I was hung up at. I just want to thank you for what you're about to do for us. Carson said, a smile forming on his face. Go fuck yourself.
no no the hunters we've have we have we've have the best nurses a person can ask for he then revealed two things from his robe in one hand was the bible in the other a large carving knife he opened the book to a page and began to read and once he finished he plunged the knife into my gut i screamed from the pain as he meticulously carved a new wound into my body i closed my eyes anticipated my death this is it i thought to myself this is how i die mercilessly executed by a cult
I thought my body would begin to morph into Horus or something. But about 20 seconds passed and nothing happened. I opened my eyes and Carson was just staring at me. A terrified look on his face. What happened? I messed up. What? I messed up. Carson said. He closed his eyes and then opened them again quickly.
He's gone. I messed up. Fuck. He threw the knife onto the ground in rage. Good job, asshole! I said the pain from the wound making it hard to speak.
Can I just say, the idea of this cult that's been operating for years, and they think when Horus comes back, the world will enter a stage of world peace, and they had completed the ritual, but Carson didn't want to die, so they risked losing the ritual.
Like me doing the stab? Yeah. Like that? Yeah, do it again. Like that, you mean? Do it again. I'm just spitting all over myself.
My mom was thrilled to hear that I would finally have a good-paying job, but my dad practically spat out his food.
But while Carson was conjuring Horace again, an idea popped into my head. Amy had just said that she hasn't fulfilled her desire for revenge, but not their desire for revenge. It may have meant nothing at all, but she was also the one who explained the entirety of why she wanted revenge on my dad. Without other options, I decided to test that notion. It was a long shot, but I hoped it would work.
My dad just did pay the price! I screamed, my stomach hurting more from me projecting my voice.
"'Yeah, I'm fine, honey,' he said, grabbing a napkin to clean his mouth." You're working at Camp Oakwood?
Again, you know, the way people speak. Humans, right? That's how they talk. Her scream practically echoed in the room. I couldn't believe she fell for my bluff. Because of me, she just admitted that she only cared about revenge. You could hear a pin drop in the chapel. Everyone, except for Julio and Carson, was stunned by what Amy just said.
Despite the predicament I was still stuck in, combined with the pain in my gut, I smiled wildly.
Wait, isn't it as he's saying all this, Carson is stabbing himself? Carson's like, ah! Ah!
Almost all of them turned their heads towards Carson, who was sitting on the floor, his blood pooling beneath him.
He's already weak from the stab wound, so it should be easy. What will it be? I prayed this would work in my favor. All I needed was one person to see the sense I was spewing and I could be spared. This was my only shot and I hope someone sided with me. After about 10 seconds, someone came up from the crowd and started walking toward the altar.
It's also funny to imagine that like this person who supposedly wants world peace, like that's the reason they're doing all this is like, I have to kill this child to get my revenge. I have to kind of kill people to get vengeance. Then we can have world peace. Before anyone could react, he charged the altar. Julio tried to grab him, but Raphael barged right through him.
Once he took lead, several others began charging the altar as well, some screaming that it was finally going to happen. That's when all hell broke loose. Carson tried to limp away, but he was caught almost immediately. Amy got bone rushed as well and was knocked back against the wall, seemingly unconscious.
Really? I asked him, to which he nodded. I proceeded to ask him some questions, but he seemed very hesitant to answer them. After failing to get anything, I went back to my room. Later that night, I heard my parents talking in their bedroom. They were trying to whisper, but I could still hear a decent amount of their conversation.
Julio managed to get out of the way and was pushing his body against the wall next to where Amy was. People began jumping onto Carson, punching and kicking him. I didn't feel bad one bit. He did stab me after all. I then felt my board begin to move, and before I knew it, I began falling back to earth. I hit the floor hard, the impact momentarily dazing me.
I then saw someone standing over and heard a voice that I didn't expect to hear. Don't worry, I'll get you out of here. Percy began untying my arms and legs, but just as he was beginning to untie my last leg, he was pulled from behind and thrown to the ground.
Amy yelled at him, a bloody knife in her hand. She cornered Percy against the wall. After seeing this, I managed to untie the last knot and charged at her as fast as I could. I knocked her down just as she raised the knife in the air. Amy and I began wrestling on the ground.
Under normal circumstances, I would have been much stronger than her, but my stab wound had severely weakened my strength, and she was gaining the upper hand fast. She managed to get on top of me, the knife still in her hand.
Just when I thought I was done for, I heard a smack sound and Amy fell limp onto me. Standing behind her was Percy holding what looked like a baton. I have no idea where he got it, but I could have cared less at the moment.
He picked me up and started leading me over to the back of the chapel. As we were making our way to the back, I found Julio on the ground. He also appeared to be unconscious.
I turned to see someone I didn't recognize throwing Molotov cocktails into the crowd. We need a diversion. Quick, burn everyone alive. I turned to see someone I didn't recognize. Sorry. Molotov cocktails into the crowd. It exploded. You know, it's funny. Most people just say Molotov, unless you grew up playing call of duty world at war, or it was called Molotov cocktails.
Cause I say calling it a cocktail is a bit of a joke, right? So you can tell when someone riding played call of duty growing up because they will always add cocktails to the end of
the phrase which further goes back on my theory with this piece but anyway it exploded and people began screaming he then raced back to where we were Percy found a small window in the back of the chapel Percy began slamming the baton against the window in order to break it after a few more swings Percy broke through the window and we made it outside
You see, little instances like that is what I mean by time being weirdly spaced, where it could have just been, we walked up, he hit it, we walked out. But it's like, he didn't try first, but after a few more, he got it. That happens a lot. Percy then pulled out a walkie and radioed to someone on the other line. Bring it around, hurry! Yelled into the walkie.
Not even five seconds later, a white truck came barreling down the road of the camp. familiar face was behind the steering wheel.
Yeah. Yeah. Or like when I, the worst one to me was when he was taking a shower and it was like, uh, I get in. I take my clothes off. I turn on the water. I am in it for about 10 minutes. I get out. I turn off. It's just like, why just say you're in the shower? You got out the clothes, you know, get in.
We all piled in and Graham accelerated out of Camp Oakwood. So the two inside people were Graham and his son, Percy. We stopped at a house about 40 minutes from Camp Oakwood. While driving there, Percy used his shirt to put pressure on my wound.
When we eventually reached the house, the three of them brought me inside the house where I was introduced to a woman named Bea who turned out to be Graham's ex-wife. Bea was apparently a nurse and she helped disinfect and bandage my wound. She was happy to report that none of my organs seemed to be damaged by the stab wound and that I would more than likely be okay.
Percy and Quincy were both bruised, but nothing too severe. While being patched up, I talked to Percy for a while, and he explained quite a bit to me. As it turned out, Percy had been forced by Amy to go into my apartment and take a picture of my scar so that she could prove that it was definitely me. He didn't want to do it, but she threatened him, and eventually he relented.
He managed to take a photo. However, not only was my towel obscuring my scar, but the photo also came out blurry. Despite him failing, they stuck with the plan of Percy being arrested by Officer Marino. I asked Percy if he was just a cult member dressed as a police officer, and he confirmed it. Not that I was surprised to hear that.
Anyway, Percy was never taken away and would remain at the camp out of view. Well, that was the plan until Carson successfully... Just every second needing to be explained to the reader. Till Carson successfully conjured for us that Amy had to hasten her plans. When they met around the campfire the night I escaped, it was so that Amy could explain what would be happening.
To my shock, there was also waiting to see when I would wake up. And once someone noticed I was up and moving, Amy alerted Carson to text me the message I received and waited until I was recaptured.
What on earth has he handled before?
Why would they do that? Why did they need a trick to get his hopes up?
just like but he was there because he just biked for an hour then got arrested why would that needs whatever whatever we're almost done percy then began explaining that he had come up with the plan to get me out of there he knew what was going to happen to me so he graham and quincy who i later found out wasn't even an employee at the camp percy's best friend back home came up with a way to get me out the plan was for quincy to make homemade molotov cocktails
and throw several of them at the church to act as a diversion so they could quickly get me out to carry me out which if you'll remember is when he loudly announced we need a distraction throw the molotovs but i will now explain to you that the molotovs were a distraction that were made prior to advance they didn't actually make them there it's important for you to know that that they were prior made and then brought to the location for the purpose that's been explained twice now to you however they didn't play on two things
One, my dad showing up unexpectedly and two, me getting Amy to say that she didn't care about everyone else's desire for world peace. When several of the people in the crowd stormed the altar, they took their chance and proceeded with the plan as best they could.
However, he explained to me that they did have to wait until they tried the ritual on me because if they tried it before the ritual attempts, it would have been harder to get out because everyone would have been pissed at them and they too would have been attacked. It was a shitty move to do, but I told them it was okay. I got out with my life. That's all that mattered.
He also explained to me that many of the- Slow down.
The Molotov cocktail thing. Good God. He also explained to me that many of the counselors were beyond pissed off when Amy proclaimed that they would have to wait until they got the ritual right on me before they could all complete their mission. She said that would be the plan and anyone who disagreed with her would have to deal with it. So many of her employees were angered by her actions.
The only people who sided with her were Julio and Carson. Carson, I understood because he didn't want to die, but I wonder why Julio agreed with her. I wonder if they got world peace finally.
Honestly, I always suspected that was a possibility. Horace did say an older worker at the camp didn't believe in this stuff. And the worker also had a son who apparently didn't either. After thinking over a little bit, I actually suspected Percy and Graham were related, especially considering how concerned Graham was for Percy safety.
When Amy planned to talk to Percy about why he broke into my apartment. I ended up resting for the night and the next day Graham gave me the keys to the truck and told me to get out of town. I asked him what he, Percy Quincy and B would do. And he said not to worry about them. I didn't know if I could trust them at this point, but I had no other options.
Just as I started the car, I asked Graham and Percy why they were work at a summer camp. When they knew it was run by a cult, they looked at each other and Graham replied, we're free now.
Yeah, down the hallway, his dad's like, we can't make him fight the Dark Lord. Voldemort's too powerful. And his mom's like, but he's the boy who lived. Yeah, exactly.
really funny answer well i love the idea of like you're gonna over explain everything but the other guy he's just like ah fuck it i'm not gonna tell you that's like every every breath every like passing thought that was explained and in three different ways and then it's like wait why did you a group of good people work at a camp whose purpose was to kidnap and slaughter people kill yourself he literally says that doesn't matter anymore gg no re
That's not important. Don't ask that question. Ask other ones. Kill yourself, Gigi Nouri. I wanted to ask them what that meant, but I decided to just get out of there. I drove off the property and away from the city, promising myself to never return. Once I got out of the city, I ditched the truck and went into hiding. That is where I am now.
I have already changed my appearance and I'm currently in the process of changing my name. I ended up reading in the news that about 20 people died in this chapel and many others were injured and or arrested. I don't know how the police found out, but they did. A list of the people who died was published as well. I saw Julio, Carson, Raphael, and my dad on the list.
One name I didn't see though was Amy. That means she's still alive and possibly looking for me. Even though I have since escaped and am trying to move on with my life, I still have so many unanswered questions about what happened. My biggest question is this. Why did my dad let me go? I mean, I just don't get it.
Why would he let me go when he knew who was there and that they were dangerous people? I just can't understand why. But then he came back and tried to sacrifice himself so that I could possibly live. He died trying to save me in a way. Regarding his death, I feel well in the middle.
I'm devastated that my dad is dead, but I am still angry at him for letting me walk into a trap that should have killed me. And also, don't understand my mom. She must have known about my dad's previous life.
she must have known about my dad's previous life yet she also let me go she even said i've dealt with it before i don't know what she meant but my only logical conclusion was that she was referring to when amy stabbed me in my childhood i don't know i don't plan on trying to find out soon ever since i escaped i've contacted i haven't contacted anyone in my family I can't trust them anymore.
My mom must be heartbroken that she practically lost both her husband and son. Maybe one day I'll reach out to her, but right now I just can't. Another problem is that I don't understand why Carson disguised as Horace gave me all that information and then let me try to escape. Percy told me that wasn't part of the plan. So Carson must've had something else in mind.
mom go back to bed harrison we named him harrison because it sounds like harry and he doesn't actually know that he's that this camp is actually uh what's the name of the school from the harry potter books hogwarts yeah yeah camp hogwarts he has to fight the dark lord yeah They went back and forth for a while. Honestly, I had no clue what they were talking about.
I don't know what, but if the end goal was for me to get captured, then I guess it doesn't matter now. Also, I never did. I did never get the answer as to why Graham and Percy would work at the summer camp. All they said was that they were free. Now, I guess they must have been held captive or something, but they never told me even when Percy and I talked just before I left to go into hiding.
Uh, and then he has three entries on our slash two sentence horror stories. You have got to, you have got to read them. We have got to read those. I know I have to read them. But other than that, it doesn't seem like there's a ton of posts. And all of those were from five years ago or further. And every single other post in the last five years is about football.
And lastly, though, it isn't that important. What? But that hasn't stopped me before. What happened to the campers? I didn't see a single kid in the crowd while I was tied up.
This is such a mystery. He's just lampshading it, being like, yeah, I know. Anyway, just moving on. Somehow, we have more exposition.
weirded out by that too you know that's a crazy point i didn't think about that y'all on job i didn't think about that you know i'm gonna air this camp out what happened to the campers i didn't see a single kid in the crowd while i was tied up honestly i don't care enough to want to know the answer to that question
That was it. Paxton or whatever his name was threw up on everything. That was it. That's the only kid thing in the whole thing. I don't care. Let them kids die, dude. Uh, it's just, that's so funny. I guess it's just another mystery literal man to this and gate to this engaging saga that I brought up. It's just a theory. I'm just so frustrated that I will never get these answers.
I know you are too, but I, the author and narrator of the story am also frustrated. I haven't spoken to gray ever Percy or anyone involved since I've escaped and I plan on keeping it that way. I just can't risk it. This happened a while ago and I've never been able to get full closure on all this. However, typing it here has really helped me.
I will say that I have read the comments you guys have been sending me first off. Thank you guys for y'all's concern for my wellbeing. I appreciate it greatly. Secondly, for those who said I was too naive and trustworthy, you're right. I was indeed, but now I'm not. In fact, I can't trust anyone. That's why I'm hiding alone. All I know is that I will always have a target on my back.
Horace himself said that these guys are all around the globe and they're probably still looking for me as I type this. After all, I practically destroyed one of their bases of operation, a summer camp known as Camp Oakwood. End of story.
I guess my dad must have had some bad memories from that place or something. He should clarify what his dad's freaked out about.
That one, that one's fine though, because it's like, it's an old community. Yeah. That like called deep woods that like the town's been lost and it's the church from that town. So the chapel makes sense.
I feel bad for just airing him out.
I would at least say that. Look, it's hard writing a story. I get that 100%. And especially if you have good ideas and concepts, it is so hard to execute or come up with the things in between the concepts you want, like the big picture stuff. Yeah, but do you think that this was an interesting concept? I don't think there was really anything good about this, was there?
My dad was talking about how... Go ahead. My dad was talking about how I can't go to camp and how he has all these dark memories. I think something's up. I think he's putting two and two together. That's just dad when he drinks a big bottle of scotch. He acts funny. Keeps talking about all those camp counselors that used to be really good friends with him for some reason.
no no i mean like it was i think that we said at the beginning the idea of a summer camp that's having rituals is fine i like that like that is fun that's true uh so that's like an interesting idea it's like i want to write a story about that so you write a bunch of your big picture stuff and then it's like well i don't really know so you don't really come up with new ideas for the ending you just kind of get to a point where you explain the stuff you've already came up with
To justify the last two chapters. Exactly. To be like, well, this is why I did this. And the first it's like it's like the first three chapters was the story they wanted to write. And then the last two was like, well, here's why I wrote those first three chapters. You know what?
Never explain yourself. Just like that's the coolest thing about so many horror projects. I mean, we talked about that when we talked about the original one with like bring her back or a bunch of horror movies like hereditary.
It's like, it's cool to have a built out world and order of operations acting behind the scenes and let your audience see the machinations of it, but never have it explained because in the unknown is where it's scary. Yeah. If you explain every piece of it, it just becomes like an action.
I think like I said, it's hard to write stories. I did. I posted something on no sleep so long ago where like I had a dream about this really weird like visual concept. So I wanted to write it out. So I wrote out the dream and then I was like, I guess I have to like give it a story ending. So I'm like, okay, the guy dies like whatever. No thought. Just threw it up on no sleep for the fun of it.
Um, but it's like, that's not like I, it was, it was me throwing together a little concept in one night and being like, uh, I'm not sure how I wanted to end. So I'll just end it like this. Like I get it. It's the thing that happens, but to have that go on for two chapters, um, Like, please. Yeah. Like, if you want to explain, give some dialogue, that's fine.
Just, you got to cut back on the length a little bit because once it becomes the length of the rest of your story, then half of the story becomes filler about stuff that's already happened. Yeah. And I feel like it takes away from what was an interesting concept and a fun time there for a while.
Oh, Camp Oakwood. That's where the Bible verses came from. That's right. My dad can't quit quoting in his sleep. That makes sense. That's right.
Again, two and a half thousand upvotes and all the comments are like, this is great. This is awesome. So, okay. There's not really, we can't trust you guys clearly. And a lot of you guys are like me and are purposefully sabotaging episodes of being like, Oh, this story is awesome. I dared my best friend to ruin my life. You guys should read it. It's very scary. I know what you all are.
Cause I would do the same thing. There are a few that I've heard highly recommended before. Our audience became poisoned and tried to trick us, like accounts from a lonely broadcast station. We should check that one out. So there are some options, but yeah, I need a good one.
See you in the next one. Next time someone tells you you have to explain yourself, just don't. And just punch that person.
Yeah, it's a lot of work and you took on a ton. Yeah, I understand why you feel trapped. But there's also this crazy element of like, because I'm not in pumping jail, that feeling doesn't transfer over.
It's crazy, and I feel for you, and I hope that next time You never want your partner to feel trapped.
Yeah, but I'm sitting on mine. It sucks to hear that that was your experience over the weekend. And it sucks to hear that when on the other side of it was me saying,
having so much fun I know there's a guilt like yeah luckily it feels like we're speaking the same language and I think what I just like hope is that you know once the you're through the the breastfeeding side like you really are out there and like getting your alone time back and getting your you know
getting those trips in because they are so much fun and they are a great part of life and like I don't think that those parts of life should vanish and like you know I don't, I feel like parts of my old life that I've wanted to sacrifice are gone, but I feel like the things in my old life that I loved are still there.
And it, and you know, what I've heard from you is there's part of your old life that is, has, is gone, but is gone not because of your choice, but because of the new responsibilities of motherhood. And I, I really hope that you, you and I know we will get to a place where you'll get to a place where those things can come back and you can start doing the fun, a lot of those fun things you love.
And I can be the one at home on a weekend when you're out doing your thing. And I'll be taking care of bubs.
Totally.
I'm frankly shocked that you didn't have anyone come down. And I know you went back and forth on it.
We also hadn't experienced that before, so you didn't know it would be so bad. And so I get all the sides.
Okay. I have no idea what I DM'd you this week. What did I DM you?
No. I got it. I got it.
Before I got married, I just smashed into the back of cars because I didn't have a wife to gasp and spree. It's hard to read. Tongue twister. Before I got married, I'd smash into the back of cars because I didn't have a wife to gasp and scream when someone braked three miles ahead. And I've never felt a meme speak to me more than this guy right here.
You aren't annoying except in that car. You are a different human being.
And things we DM'd each other.
I was very stressed driving home from the hospital. I would actually say that driving home from the hospital is one of my most stress. It was easily my most stressful drive I've ever had. But it was like a more stressful moment in life.
Yeah, that was an all-time moment. I would have wanted my dad to drive home.
Oh my God. Wild times.
Yeah.
Should we talk about the other thing you do that drives me crazy? Yes. That I also do that drives you crazy?
What do you think it is? You think I have no court awareness.
It drives me nuts. You have no awareness. These are the two things that drive me nuts.
No, but that quote I just read more so applies to me walking in life. I haven't spent 35 years walking around bumping into people. And you seem to think that everywhere we go, I'm just going to walk around and bump into people. And Newsflash Alex, I don't. I don't bump into people. I know where I'm going.
This is made up.
This is made up.
So that's why I've never run into somebody?
These are like stories made up in your head.
I've never run into someone since we've been together.
You are an inefficient yielder. You're the type of person that goes to an elevator and then gets in some like standoff with the people leaving the elevator and then the elevator closes. You are the most inefficient walker I've ever met.
And any difference between the podcast this week versus the past few weeks?
I honestly, I don't have a view on this, but I did hear of a move that I love.
A guy I know or a couple I know.
Well, you know, we've always talked about this being a podcast that we'd want her to be able to listen to, and I don't want to go down that path.
Just a new name.
Yeah. But here's a great move. Guy, no. Okay. I saw he had two kids. The timing, I couldn't really understand what was happening because I thought they announced baby one and then like it kind of seemed like 60 days later there was a second baby. And so I thought I like misread the announcement. There was twins. No, they did a dual track. They did a surrogate and a natural at once.
Cool.
I knew that. That was for the listener.
Let's start. Podcaster.
Oh, so do we think this was a situation where they went the IVF and the surrogate route and then coincidentally had a natural, do you call it natural? I don't want to offend people on this. Yes, yeah, I think you naturally conceive, yeah. Okay, so never mind. I thought that that was something that you could plan. This shows how little I know about parenting.
And I think in Canada, that's how it works. That may be our new thing. Whenever we don't know how something works, we just say that's how it works in Canada.
You know, I don't like ribs. I think it's the most overrated barbecue item.
Alrighty. What are we talking about now?
I think it's the most overrated barbecue item.
Yeah, I mean, I 100% noticed this as well. If we just like leave her in a room and walk away and there's no one else in that room, very high chance that we get a coup directing us that she would like us to come hang.
Absolutely not.
And we want to foster an environment of creativity.
Okay.
I think airline miles are an all-time waste of time. I've never understood something less in my life. So I used to not do airline miles. I didn't think they made any sense. And I've started to do airline miles. And this just feels like the biggest waste of time. So I got my little thing here.
Big day. Big day for Tate.
Okay. Was this done on my credit card or yours?
No, it was like $13.
I would have liked you to use my credit card.
Neighbor's here. She just texted saying sorry that she didn't know that we were recording. And hopefully we couldn't hear her loud ass walk in the door.
You know like that's not true.
Did they say they were high?
Yeah, I'm sorry that I'm not going to give you the reaction you want here. I just think that's not true.
It's a good movie.
It's not real.
i'm a advantage platinum pro okay on american that like sounds pretty nice right and so like i was like okay so i do this so that way you get upgraded right that's like the main thing no so why do i do it because i was 16 on the upgrade list on my way back from miami number 16 you do it for the points but what why do you need the points
So I'd never tried Girl Scout cookies and thought they were OK. I actually didn't like them.
Cookies aside, you think you're buying them because you support a great cause, right?
I saw a tweet a day later. And the tweet said that the Girl Scouts organization collected $192 million last year. Wow. But they only then returned $8 million to chapters. What? Yeah. Eight? Yeah. They spent $18 million on IT services.
Well, I don't know, but like the numbers, they, from afar, feels like there's probably a lot of hands in the pot, a lot of hands in the cookie jar, as they say.
And then I think like their... What? Their CEO a couple years ago has paid a million and a half dollars and like that's a pretty high percentage of spend that's going to the CEO relative to the chapters. I hope this isn't true.
Yes. You file all this with the... Well, I'm not saying that. Jeez. But like this is all... Like their expenses are all filed with the IRS. But now this did come from Twitter.
Allegedly.
But I hope that's not the case. I hope that they brought in $192 million and...
Because I love the idea of it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, they spend $18 million on technology to track the inventory.
No, $18 million on IT services.
They've got to talk to Deepsea, get that.
Have you seen this?
That's fine. We'll save it for another time.
It's like this new AI thing, but we'll save it for another time.
Why don't you handle this and then I'll pop in?
Yeah, I love her in the room and I'm very supportive of her being in the room as long as developmentally that is what makes sense.
And then right when she wakes up in the morning, she's up and doing babas with dadas.
She holds her hands like that every single day.
Thank you for listening.
Oh, my God. Like the points to book a flight.
So I do all that effort. So fine.
Let me explain to you. So I have 130,000 points. Yeah, that's pushing. Where can I go with 130,000 points? Nowhere.
I fly 24-7. Okay. Okay.
Yeah, I'm sorry that I'm not going to give you the reaction you want here. I just think that's not true.
Who are these people with millions of miles?
Yeah, I just don't think that it's all worth it.
Hold on. Let me rephrase. You don't log in and I will log in. Let me rephrase.
Let me rephrase because I get it from a baseline, but I just think for how much people talk about it, Like the juice ain't worth the squeeze. That's my point.
That's my point. The juice ain't worth the squeeze.
It's all I hear. I only fly this airline. You only fly one airline, so you get one free trip a year.
I travel so much. I've committed a full year to these people. And it just feels like, once again, the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. But sorry.
Let's move on.
Couldn't believe it.
Okay, let's go.
It was good.
No, no, no. Let's move past this.
Julie's yelling at me. He's playing with the microphone. Julie had a lot in common. How was The Bachelor? It was very fun. It was very fun. It was a great group. I really enjoyed it.
I love a bachelor party where the parents are in attendance. I think it's the way to do it. The father was there. The father's best friend was there. Um, there are other cameos made. Mom came by for some drinks.
It's aligned with like my value system. And so, um, yeah, it was, it was great. Awesome people. Um, A lot of people in a similar boat miss Tate dearly. It was weird because all my other trips here to four had been like very work oriented. And they were all like in and outs. It was like kind of overnight trips. I don't think I was ever gone for more than one night.
And so to be gone for two nights and for it to be like solely for fun.
It was like there was an element of feeling guilty though. Yeah. for being gone being away from her and you holding the fort down. So like, there was definitely like, it's not like I was there just like there was part of my brain throughout the entire weekend. Which was which I obviously I had a blast, but was was thinking about you and feeling for what like you holding it down.
Hello.
I think it's different for me than it is for you.
For me, the guilt was... was knowing you were handling the end-to-end care and like i think you made a tiktok video about like how much empathy you have for single parents and like i have so much because like having a partner in crime to go through this with just makes it like exponentially easier.
Just the idea that like you couldn't if you know you needed a break or you couldn't come or you didn't have a partner to swap out with. That's what really got me.
And so just the idea that like, you couldn't, if you know, you needed a break or you couldn't come or you didn't have a partner to try to swap out with. That's what, what really got me. And like, we just don't have the luxury where we live in the same city as, um, as our families. And so we like, don't have that support that you hear parents talk about all the time. Um,
No.
Yes.
Missed her, but like, you know, that's part of life.
The honest answer is no. No. but it's no because I feel like I am very present in her consistent day to day life. Like these, you know, I did three trips in 10 days and that's a rarity. And I think travel for the next couple of months dies down pretty rapidly or when we are traveling, we're traveling together. So, so that, that's really not, not it.
It was, it was, I'm in place a solely having fun and you're in place B and being a caretaker.
Totally. Like she rolled over when I was gone. And, like, in theory, it sucks to miss your first rollover. In reality, I saw her role pretty shortly after coming back. And I saw her, like, you do see growth in very short periods of time. But, like, yeah, that just wasn't it. But once again, I think it's not it because, like, I'm with her so much.
We're talking about feels like not much of a change from the way things have been going over the past eight to 12 weeks.
And so what was me being gone like for you?
Yeah, but that's literally why I felt bad.
But what I guess like how would you describe the podcast? Well, I would what this podcast how you describe what this podcast is.
Okay. Alex hat gespĂĽrt, dass sie allergisch war zu Dairy, bis jemand die KĂĽkenparm rausgebracht hat. Es scheint, dass ihre einzige echte Allergie WillkĂĽr ist.
Yeah.
Yeah.
$15.
Have you seen the ones where the kids don't share with the parents?
I can't do it. Okay. No, I can do it. Okay. Okay. Do this every year for her birthday. Oh, I can't do it. I can hear myself talking. This is awful, Alex. What if you take your headphones off? No, I can do it.
Yeah.
Okay.
What did she say?
You know what happened again with my friend, Amanda, who lives here? It happened the other day.
What?
So I said, anything sounds good. So he says, let's go to. So we went and, and, and what happened was I, I decided in that moment I could list things that didn't sound good, or I could just say, you know what? Fine. I did say anything sounds good. Let's go to the restaurant you suggested. And it was almost inedible.
I know the name, but I forget it too. Oh, that's going to drive me crazy.
I'll give them this. They were maxed out on reservations, so people must love it. It has a 4.4 on open table. People love this restaurant. And so good for you, Austin. We'll be back. However, this particular evening wasn't good.
Let's move on. Let's move on. I would love to. I also don't want to talk bad about a restaurant because we want businesses to thrive.
We could bleep the name of the restaurant. That's an option. I would love that. I would love that. Oh, that makes me way happier. We'll do a bleep of the restaurant name because it's not fair to them. It's just more the sentiment of the restaurant. Okay, so.
Yeah.
Let me tell you.
I agree that this is a Terry Black's Stan podcast. We've got 10% off PXG, you guys, their apparel. Because here's the thing, they've got a passion for making great golf clubs, but they also make incredible apparel.
Okay. Well, one thing, one thing I'll say about Venice is I never realized that Venice in California has canals just like it. Is it named after the Venice in Europe?
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I want to do the topics. Topics. Topics.
Okay, question number one. Both of you always gave off the energy that you've been together for years now. I'm genuinely surprised that it's new for both of you. How did you navigate such a huge decision of buying a house together so early? I want to break this down into two parts. You guys give off the energy that you've been together for years now.
Take it away.
Do you want to talk about that?
In the interest of full disclosure?
Well, okay, so we just have different communication styles where whenever I woke up this morning, I needed a little bit of space. And Harrison was giving me a hug. And it actually meant the world to me that he wanted to give me the hug. I love, I like felt so, I was like, oh, that's really nice. But also I needed not a lot of questions. It's a bit like confusing to explain.
Because they're different types like the bean. It's the same thing as hot coffee. It's a different kind of bean.
Little Lunch. That's it. I'm so glad you got that name. I was just trying to be crazy. One of my favorites. Is Venice, California named after Venice, Italy? Is it Italy?
And so basically the communication styles are this. I need space. Harrison likes to ask questions to solve the problem. But my brain lights on fire. And so his questions are kerosene on the fire. And then my brain's on fire and I can't function. And I need a bit more space. And so that we were having a missive communication. Would you agree with that?
Answer me this. Did you move from the treadmills to the floor because I was on the treads?
Okay, because it appeared that you did.
That's what I'm saying. They're very similar. I mean, well, they're not similar, but they're a bit of an abbreviation of each other.
But you asked me to do Barry's with you.
But I didn't want to go to Barry's. Then somehow I was in the class.
I wanted to go to Pilates.
It's giving yes.
They're insanely cool, but I don't think a lot of, like people think Abbot Kinney when they think Venice, California. They don't think the canal streets.
And the way we communicate is the way we communicate. Or are we going to say, no, let's meet in the middle here and learn to communicate together, getting off your line?
Yes. And I also think, and I saw some people asking this about like, for me, I always have said online when I, it was a, if you know, when you know, you know, and a lot of them were asking, did you feel that too?
Do you know what I'm saying? I know exactly what you're saying. And like, so we moved, right? We got pregnant fast. And so there was a lot of... Yeah, there was a lot we went through.
And many other things. But the thing about it is... I think we've also worked at our relationship, right?
We've done a lot of like, because it was an expedited path, we said, okay, we can either, we really stop and we figure out each other's communication styles. And I think that one thing that I, the reason I'm able to be so proud of our relationship is because of the hard work we've put into it.
Which is like, we'll have our fights, but then we'll, then we've stopped and we've said, okay, how do we handle this differently? How do you get off your side, your line? And how do I get off my line? And how do we meet in the middle and make this a good environment? How do we, because also when you're parenting, it's, it's a lot of negative and exhausting energy to like fight.
So I think one thing that we're really good about doing and learning to do is like communicate well for ourselves, but also together as a couple.
Did you hear me just say that's dope?
Check our egos.
Yeah, I think it's at the forefront of our mind at a time where when you have a seven month old, maybe it wouldn't be at the forefront, but our relationship is new. And so it's something that we are constantly working on. And of course we have, I don't, I don't think that the, so the perfect relationship doesn't exist, right? I don't think it exists.
I think it would be crazy if somebody said they have the perfect relationship. I'll say this about our relationship though. I absolutely love it. Does that make sense?
I agree with that.
Correct. It's our version of perfect.
It's the one that we wanted. We fought hard for. Okay.
Yeah, we'll move on right now. Okay, so the second part is, how did we navigate such a huge decision of buying a house so early? Do you know how I think that that came into play?
Well, let me ask you this. Do you think we would be buying a house, you and I, if Bubbers didn't exist? Bubbers' tape.
Okay, elaborate on that.
You just said, okay, that was great. You don't even know why we're laughing. You said the decision was emotional, not financial. And I said, elaborate on that. And you said the decision was driven by emotion, not finances.
And if somebody above us is walking, sometimes you can pick up the noise. I think that you're good, though, H. I think she probably just went... Okay, he's running upstairs. Okay, so...
Elaborate.
Okay, so for example, like the stock market, you would have rather invested the money than buy a house with it.
Okay.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So I agree because we're building a family and we're in that phase. And I think we were able to make the decision being so new as a couple because... We're in, we're in family mode and we want to build a family together. And so I, and also like, you know, we're not 23. Guys, we have $10 off Nutrafol.
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Yeah.
And Harrison likes to rent because, okay, so let's move down to this question really quickly. Um, I remember that some weeks ago, Harrison mentioned that to buy a house, it would be more than $5,000 more a month than to rent it. Is that still the case? That seems so high to me.
Well, yeah, the heart, the heart, why are you making the decision is the heart for sure. And then also we needed all the stars to align and they did align. We needed the price that we thought the house was worth. To match up with the cellar. We needed, you know, the ability to get some yard, which we were able to do by buying some of the land beside us.
And, yeah, we needed all that to match up, wouldn't you say?
Like, we wouldn't have bought...
So... Disclaimer.
Right.
Manifesting.
Manifesting.
Emancipating.
Doesn't it mean like killing?
What's the Emancipation Proclamation of 1683 or whatever? I don't know.
I was not a history major.
Well, that is decapitate, but okay, let's get a Google on it. Emancipated? It's not even emancipated? No, that's emaciated. Emaciated. Emancipated.
10, 11, 12. Wait, 2.30 tomorrow?
Yeah.
Works perfect.
I would like to go in person because I want to wear a fun outfit to the closing.
Are you down to dress up for the closing?
Let's just kind of close the loop. Emancipated does mean what Jules said, where you're leaving your family as a minor.
You have wanted to own a house since the moment I met you. at least the first second day I met you you have been talking about buying a house we need this to close okay let's now hold on I have to get this because I have a list of the questions and we kind of skipped ahead of one which is I'm sorry I'm behind are you buying the place where you are renting or just found a house in the neighborhood
And I just want to say we're buying the house we were renting. Yes. Just to double click on that. We always wanted to live in this neighborhood. We talked about the stairs of this house. We talked about like the stairs was my main thing. And then the other main thing was like the price. We thought it was overpriced considering everything else that we looked at.
That's Jules' mom.
But Harrison and I looked at probably 50 houses. And no house could beat this house or this location. And so we got really lucky when the price worked out. But we loved this house.
Kissed a lot of frogs and finally found our prince.
I thought we were going to say hoes. There's a... I was like, what? Can't say that because there's no such thing as a hoe.
Nori.
Yeah, you're so excited about it and like so am I, you guys, because now we have all these visions for this house. And so a lot of people are asking what are we going to do to the house? Yeah. We're going to do a lot to the house. Um, the first thing we're going to do is really fence off the whole entire thing.
And like, so we, we're going to have enough room to put in a pool, but we want to do a giant fence around the whole thing. So Bubba can go outside and run and we don't have to worry about the street.
Yeah. Um, we're also going to do. So a lot of you are asking about the stairs and I, and the stairs make me really nervous. They don't make Harrison nervous at all. We're going to do gates, um,
They are see-through stairs.
They're not... Like, a little kid can slip through the crack of them and fall. They're exposed stairs. They're floating stairs.
Yes, pepper.
We use it all the time.
I think that we're absolutely going to gate them off, but I don't even think that's enough. I think it's too risky. So what I'm going to propose to you is we finish off the stairs. We put wood in between each one.
Cannot have it. Can't have it.
No question. That's pretty... So we're going to... Yeah, so I think what we're going to do is... Okay, good. I was going to propose this to you. But are you down for the wood to be finished off?
It's just, we just need to make them like regular stairs and then carpet it. So it's safe.
Ginny's Julie's dog, and she did a great job. She was great. She really had a star performance.
She is. Yeah. Okay, so the other things we're going to do is wood floors upstairs, adding a closet upstairs. Down here in the basement, Harrison's going to wall off one area so it can be like a playroom.
Yeah, we're going to do some chandeliers. We're going to do – well, we might – we're actually going to maybe add a breakfast banquet to the table.
I agree. This is one thing I will say. Harrison has already had the fence guy come over, the pool guy come over, the guy to look at moving the HVAC in the attic so we can add the attic as a room. Like, you're on it. You're a doer. I thought we were going to make this list and never do it, but you're doing it.
We dropped, we lost a listener, and I'm really happy to know she's returned.
take your ideas and and turn them into into like a concrete vision harrison's been going outside and taking a photo of our house submitting it to ai and saying build a gate around this house and it uses our house and builds the gate around it it's unbelievable yeah and so it was funny the gate that when the gate guy was over yesterday
Well, she's commenting adorable on our photo, so it's nice to know she's come through the podcast as well. Phew. I mean, I was actually sad she stopped listening. I didn't understand why. I just, I didn't know. Besides the fact she doesn't probably have small children, not probably doesn't have small, she doesn't have small children.
I agree. I would like to get in one as well. Okay, let's talk about how we're... So let's talk about the loan that you took. Talk about the finances of the house. How are we paying for the house? How's it set up between you and I? And then how did we get the money? And let me just give you some flowers. Is there another... A box of chocolate. You...
did such a good job saving for this moment of buying the house. You really, I think while you say it's the American dream to be able to buy a house, I think it's also got to be like a father's dream to be able to put his family in a house. So good job.
In this house that we hope that we get, we get to close on. And so explain this to me because I like thought it was ours when everyone signed the document. So now the money goes to escrow and they hold it.
And then it's released to the seller once the paperwork's are signed.
Seven days. Yeah.
Right.
Because we had a quick close. And we knew the offer was contingent upon a quick close. Right.
Okay. So speaking of money, so talk a bit about the interest markets and then where you took your money from. And how we're going to set it up between you and I, which is, let's do that first. So the way we're going to set it up between you and I is you're going to do the down payment.
And then I'm going to do the payments to, what do we call those? They're not interest payments, loan payments. What are those?
that would be hilarious if that was the case um okay okay so what were we talking about i don't know but i loved what it was but all i know oh i want to get a better vocab okay not a better vocabulary a younger vocab like i want to say like that's so dope or cap um Because I don't want to be so aged out of what the cool kids are saying.
Oh, yeah. I'm paying for the renovations. Oh, we're going to split. Oh, I thought I was paying. Is it a mortgage? But it's not a real mortgage.
Okay. But I thought I was paying the mortgage. I'm glad we're doing this live. Let me know. If you want to split it, that's great.
No, no, no.
Split it.
He does this. Imagine in the middle of the night. We think it's a small esophagus.
I know, but I think she learned it from you and she thinks it's cool that she coughs like that.
I don't know. Oh, she has those.
She has such a cute cough. I don't know. That's a good question. She does. She has the cough thing like you do though. Are we going to split the mortgage? Okay. So what happened is because you always got to do worst case scenario planning, which is very sad, but I don't want people listening to think that we didn't think about this.
So Harrison put down the down payment and then who's doing the mortgage? You or me? We'll split it.
Let's say for the sake of the podcast, we're going to split it. Okay, perfect. And then I'm going to do the renovation payment. So let's say the renovation costs $2.
And let's say the down payment costs $5. Yeah. When we go to sell, you recoup your $5, I recoup my $2, and then we split the profit.
Unless I pay for the mortgage, then I get that back too.
But hey, if you're not afraid of doomsday, you're never too cool to plan for it.
Do you know what I mean? I don't hate when, but I don't think we need to hear him be like, it's never going to happen. It's like, okay, I don't think it's going to happen. We think the odds are zero, but still.
And what's going on with the mortgage? You want to talk about that a bit?
You did some debt equity thing. Debt equity? What was it called? What was your thing? what rationale as to how much to take out versus how much to put down. Cause you put down a lot, you put down more than I expected.
Because when you take out a mortgage up to $750,000 of it, of the interest on it can be tax deductible. It's tax deductible. Okay. So that's good to know.
Okay, so then you pay down the rest.
This is not a finance advice podcast. Allegedly, you can do the... Allegedly to everything we just said. Does that work?
I think that's interesting though. And so then you put down the rest and then we pay the mortgage and then... Pay the property taxes. And then we got to get insurance.
You've been getting insurance today. Yeah. And then you got tax. What do we have? Tax, land tax, property tax.
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So then people are asking how long we think we're going to live in the house. And we had said, if we bought this house, it would be a three to five year house. We've now figured out a way. I think we can live in this for a very long time.
But the con will be that all four bedrooms are upstairs. That'll it's, it's definitely not going to become like, we got a lot of space to have a family around here. We're not short on space. It's just going to be the only thing that I think we would outgrow is the setup of the upstairs.
I'm excited to make this house a home. And I'm starting with repotting the front porch plants.
And keeping them alive. Love it. Because when we were renting, I didn't water the plants. But now I'm watering the plants. Oh, yeah. Because they're my plants. Yes. And our pots.
And Bubba gets to keep a room with the pink walls.
Says he's room with the pink walls. Bubba. Bubba's sitting up in shopping carts and it is so cute. I really miss her. Okay. Let's move on now to things we DM'd each other.
It's edgy. Is that the word?
Thank you. You're welcome.
All right. Let's go to. Okay. So I DM'd you. Revolve is in a lawsuit. because they were having creators not disclose that it was an ad. And a consumer sued them for $50 million and three creators, saying, I wouldn't have bought all these clothes if I thought it was an ad. The consumer thought that these creators were just organically loving the product.
But it turns out it was an advertisement, and the consumer didn't know that, and so the consumer's mad that they bought the product.
Well... Well, number one, I think that that's kind of a crazy lawsuit. But I'll say this. So, okay. So you're supposed to, by law, do an FTC disclosure if you're doing ads. I think that's very important to say, hey, I'm being paid to say this. Because that's where you establish trust with your audience, right? So if I – I love this cardigan I'm wearing right now, okay?
It's American Vintage, right? They're not paying me to say that. I genuinely love this. Now, if I go put on another cardigan that I am paid to say I like it, I think it's very important to distinguish between the two. Do you agree? If somebody's paying me to say you like it, I think you should have to.
True. I was a door dasher pregnant.
Because sometimes you just can't leave the house. Because you can't leave her here, but she's asleep, so you've got to door dash her.
Okay. So the thing about it, so revolves being sued for 50 million, but what I read that they made through, um, influencer advertisements last year was 1.1 billion. So they knew that they were at risk for this kind of a lawsuit, right, by not disclosing that they were ads. And it actually seems like the risk paid off. Like it was risky, but 1.1 billion.
I don't know what they would have done if they were disclosing that it was ads.
Most of the time they'll say though, you say, can I have an iced coffee? And they'll say, do you mean cold brew?
Oh, no. Harrison, this is so embarrassing. What's the other word?
Okay, that's interesting.
Okay, so same. But one area where I do think it's interesting is Revolve has a ton of brands. It's not an ad saying, like, look, I'm shopping on Revolve. Here's what I chose. Like, these are, like, still photos. Like, these are girls wearing an outfit, you know, just like an in-feed post. And then Revolve's, like, tagged at the bottom. That doesn't really bother me.
I do assume that that means it is paid for by Revolve. Harrison's shaking his head no. But I will say at least it's not just, like, a full-blown ad in your face where it's not disclosed on. I think that would be more confusing. But I'm with you. I think that ads must be disclosed on. Because then I think it differentiates when you're organically loving something. And so, yeah.
Totally agree. All right. What did you DM me? Something that I wasn't supposed to read.
Transparency.
I absolutely love it. What do you think of it? I think it is a more intimate version of watching a TV show together. I love reading to Bubba at night. I can't imagine if you read to me and we've been loving watching a TV show. This to me is a more heightened version of that.
Full transparency.
Correct. And I fall asleep when people read me books. But. Happens since high school. But.
Yeah, we are. We're going to talk honestly about how we bought the house and things like that.
Yes.
What about an audio book?
We've been cooking.
We've been watching a show before bed, except it's over.
I agree. I agree with you. Thank you.
So, for example, the nightly walk, isn't it? What would be a good example? Can you give me an example of something that would be good? Well, cooking, I think, is a really good one. Making an intentional dinner, hanging out together, no phones allowed. But what's another one? We go on walks around this loop a lot, but that's not one that I'm looking for.
Oh, we are going to talk about influence or transparency.
Do you want to ask it and see what it says?
Well, we could go to get coffee and leave our phones at home and walk to the coffee shop and back. It's like a five minute walk.
But can you tell us in the interest of full disclosure, how's your investment with them going?
I like that, though, making it more intentional. What I've been loving that we're doing, though, is we're cooking and we're turning on music upstairs. It's been great.
Yes. And so that's been fun. And then tomorrow night, you and I get to get dressed up and go out. And I'm so excited because we're going to a charity gala.
Are you going, Jules? Are you going to pee? No. I have a baby shower though.
He was going to be at Emo's? No he needs to be somewhere else. Yeah.
I'm going to investigate this. Maybe they moved dates. Did they move dates?
Buy it. Huge. We listen to him every night. My lover loves him. Oh, really? She knows his songs.
Love it.
But I didn't go. You went with your sister and Dave.
Okay. Okay, well, let's wrap her on up. This was a great episode. Let's go get some Alex Warren tickets.
Yeah, we love you guys. Thanks for listening to another episode of Two Parents in a Podcast, powered by Just Media House. If you enjoyed the show, don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, rate, and review. Stay connected on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and Facebook at Two Parents in a Pod. Welcome to our home. Sorry it's so messy. New episodes every Thursday.
Cap. Do you know... Bet. Bet.
No, no, no cap.
Oh, I'm getting caught.
Oh, bet. Okay, bet. What about period? Period.
Brody.
Like bro, but Brody?
Wow.
I'm on the sidelines. They just call you to remind you how old you are. Just have a casual conversation around you.
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Okay, so the one thing about Jersey Mike's that I just would like to double-click on, which I know that they would never say double-click, but what I think they did so well is one Mike's Way, which is just a simple oil and vinegar and salt and pepper, which is not novel, but they called it Mike's Way, so I always felt like they were doing something special.
The second thing I think they did really well is they just sliced the turkey meat in front of you So you felt like you were getting something really gourmet?
Have you been to Jersey Mike's?
Okay. So you know what I'm talking about?
Those two things I think sets them apart from a Subway.
I love old school, just a Folgers coffee.
With good quality?
Go Brodies.
The Brodies. Bet.
This is the housing episode where we're going to talk about how we got our loan for the house. who's paying for what within our relationship, and just how did we make this decision after dating for not very long. But first, can we talk about something first?
I wanna do our IRL updates, which is just, I don't wanna talk about Easter because it's in the past, but one thing that I do wanna talk about around Easter is I woke up like Saturdays. I love, we'll put Tate, like we'll feed her and then we'll put her in the bed with us. Harrison and her will stay awake and they'll like hang out. And I sleep like I zonk out till nine 30 on Saturdays.
Yeah, it's right up my alley. Okay, ready? Are we recording? Are we picking up Maria's footstep? No? More or less. Okay. All right, ready?
And I woke up to Harrison's hand, just like slapping me. And he was like, the Easter egg hunt started because the neighbors in the group text, they sent a photo and they were going to the Easter egg hunt. And it, And we were late. And I, like Harrison and Tate left, because every time I get up, I have to pump. So I was 30 minutes behind them. I had this horrible guilt.
And I'm happy it happened so young. And a lot of the comments were talking about mom guilt and like it's never going to go away. There was this one mom who dropped her daughter off on PJ Day. And the doctor, the doctor, the teacher called her the next – I can't talk today – This mom dropped off her daughter at PJ Day and then the teacher called her.
And her daughter was in the bathroom crying because PJ Day was tomorrow. And I – exactly. And she felt left out. Like she was in her pajamas and everybody else was dressed. And that's really hard for a little kid. And Bubbers missed the Easter egg hunt. She can't walk but still.
Well, you're Jewish. That's okay.
Sure was.
Well, what started off my day was your mom was calling at 9 o'clock our time. And that's 7 o'clock her time. And I was like, hello? She was like, happy Easter. And I was like, that? I was like, oh my God, a phone call on Easter wishing me a happy Easter, asking what we were doing? Like, I was so excited.
Now you know.
Threw you off.
Kids are young and they're up early.
Welcome to two parents in a podcast as Harrison sips his iced coffee. How's it going?
I just felt like a failure in the sense of like, what were you doing? Like you couldn't figure out the time and like arrive. Like I just feel like all the other moms did and I didn't.
Oh, yeah. We forgot about Easter.
Well, and where it was really rectified, to use an Easter term, no, he's not rectified. He was resurrected. Okay.
bet I where it was rectified was we had a great Easter a real Easter day because Saturday was the egg hunt but Sunday was Easter and it was so much fun And you really like, we were sitting at Soho House. Soho House has this big brunch. And Harrison just kept saying every minute, I just had no idea Easter was a thing. This is a great holiday. This is so fun.
Yeah. The pastels, like people do the outfits. It's a good one.
Okay.
Jimmy's barn.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, because of the weather.
Well, he does do that. Like, that's not it.
I could barely wake up for the barbecue. For the egg. No, for the day. I could barely get out of bed.
I was just in the thick of pregnancy.
I was baking a babe.
No, I think that it will be better. Because we won't be moving. I think a large part of it was like we were unsettled. Actually, I like that because it kind of goes into our first question of that you and I haven't been together very long. Let's just do it now.
What would you like to do? You're the host. You're the host. We're co-hosts.
We went to eat Saturday night and our babysitter canceled. So then it was just Harrison and I and Tate and we all went to eat. We were walking around downtown and Harrison said, where do you want to eat? And I said, anything sounds good. And then he suggested a restaurant. And I said, that doesn't sound good. And what happened? You stopped. You turned to me.
We're not going to the club and getting bottle service.
So I go in and check my wallet. So I put in one, one soul. Okay. Well, at that time, a soul was like about $200 plus minus. Uh, in the morning, my wallet has $18,000 in it. I never forget from, from $200 to 18 grand overnight.
Yeah, I had a capacity of five, but I kept getting errors when I was trying to submit. And I was like, well, this is fun. And now I'm playing with house money.
Like, to me, it isn't real. Yeah, to house money, yeah, and playing with house money means... Like, you're playing with, it's all, like, there's no downside. You started with 200 bucks, so even if I go and I lose this 18 grand now, like, who cares?
Yeah. Okay. Um, I'm sure there's like a proper definition of what that you're playing with. I don't know. Whatever house money you get my, I guess maybe it comes from a casino where you win big initially and you're, you get the house money, which is the casino. Um, and so the past 30 days, like I've been ripping into these meme coins and they're just, they're fun.
Cause like they launch, you got to get them early. You got to know where there's hype. You got to time them before they sell off. Like it's full fledged gambling. Um,
So I'm just playing with my winnings. Done. It's just like it's fun. Like people who – it's not like I take it seriously and think about this as like fundamentally trading stocks. It's fucking – fun.
Well, with a last name like this, no real way you can slice it in a clean way. What do you mean? Well, it's just like kind of a weird name. Not kind of a weird name. It's a weird name. Hodges is like a clean last name.
No, no, no. Let me take it. Let me go back on this. It's like when someone's at the blackjack table, they're serious at the blackjack table. Or when you bet on a football game, you're serious when you're watching it. But you get in the grand scheme of it. You're doing it as a hobby, not as a career. So it isn't like, let's quit our jobs and start day trading.
It's, you know, especially I like sports, but very selectively. Right. Like I like football, but I don't care about much else right now. And it's a really fun thing to do.
But my group chats are also like my friend group has gotten into it. And so like when something hits, the group chat goes crazy and it's
Yeah, but it's – Like it's a, it's a bit of a racket. And so I think you just got to know it's a racket, but sports betting is also a racket and casinos are also a racket. So like, I think we just got to be like, remain honest about what it is.
We lost 200 bucks.
No, but that's boring. Yeah. Smith is boring. Hodges like has some kick to it. There's some character to it. And Hodges is a great last name.
But that's different. That's kind of different than this. Really? This is like the degens.
Degenerate.
Yeah. I was up till 2 a.m. last night scouring wallets.
I'm a curious person.
Activity guy.
Which feels like it could be a good parlay into friendships, but I think we need to talk about what you DM me.
I didn't. I can, can you Julie, can you play the video? Cause I actually didn't watch this video.
Because I'm not understanding what baby fever is.
Baby fever is wanting a baby.
I also agree with that.
So basically this guy was saying... Okay, so do guys get baby fever?
Yeah, so there's like a before you and an after you. So before you, like when I would see a baby, like my instinct was the opposite of baby fever. Like it was, whoa, like I am not ready for this. This feels invasive and disruptive. And like, yeah, I like... I always knew I wanted a kid, but when I'd see videos of kids or be around kids, my like instinct was, well, not anytime soon.
Uh, and then obviously I met you and, uh, and then that, that completely flipped the other way. And yeah, now like whenever I, I see videos of kids, like I, we, I want more kids. So is it a, is it baby fever? Like, I don't really know, but, um, I don't know. I feel like at least once a day now, I'm like kind of begging you to try and have a number two.
I would love a second child. I'd love a third child. I want it to happen as soon as possible. I think the idea of like having, you know, Tater having siblings and being the older, like that's amazing. Is that baby fever?
What?
Yeah, I'm excited for the journey.
That's it. I'm excited for the journey. Like not just one specific phase.
Is this interesting to the listener?
Yeah, so I think helpful context is like a week ago, a week and a half, we woke up one day and you're like, I want to invite over a bunch of parent friends this Saturday. And I was like, love it. Great. And so you put the roster together.
Yeah, it was a really like unintimidating setup. We ordered a bunch of Mexican food and we, you know, put it out and put out a little drink bar and... Funny enough, the ladies kind of went into one room and the guys went into another. And it was a fun like three, four, five hours. It went pretty late.
Diamond prices have plummeted 46%.
Like we're always, I don't understand the question.
Yeah. I think that, that we both, you know, um, let me think here for a second.
I mean, you 100% take the lead on this.
How do I say this without getting in trouble?
Yeah, I think that you're, I don't want to say pickier, but like, I got to be very careful with my words here. I don't know. I think that like,
Yeah, I'd love to hear.
What if she coos? Do we stop if she coos? Because she does a lot of cooing.
I think we're on a program and the program is you're kind of going out there and you're inviting the people over. And then, you know, I'm speaking to the gentleman about whatever the dad speak about. I don't know. I feel like you go, I feel like you're choosing the friends right now. I feel like,
My efforts on this have not been as well received and you're taking the lead and it's great and I understand that you don't have that many times out a week and so you want to nail it and I'm with you.
I don't know. I feel like at least once a day now, I'm kind of begging you to try and have number two.
You're calling the shots on the friendship and on the friendships right now on the couple of friendships. Like you, you're just like, that's where we're at.
Sorry, what was the question?
Well, it's very hard. I don't want to say something that is mean.
I don't know. I feel like it's hard.
No, because I have a high...
What was the question? The listener question.
I think the most important thing is that whatever you're buying accurately reflects your commitments.
We had a weekend. We had a weekend. I don't know. It was fun. I started Instagramming again. I used to love Instagram. I would Instagram all my travel photos because I traveled all the time. And so most of what I've been doing over the past few years is obviously working on my company and stuff. I feel like a lot of startup and business content is, is cringe.
You 100% take the lead on this.
I think you take the lead because you're more opinionated on the matter than I am. I think that I... probably um is it fair like i think i have a broader interest set than you do and so i think that i can appreciate many different types of people and whether someone wants to come over and talk about you know uh sports or business or science or longevity or crypto or um
something that isn't on my radar i'm probably like like i have friends that are great like super nerds and friends that are great athletes and entrepreneurs like i i think my my circle is just a little more wide than yours with the new year comes the new opportunity to make that pinterest board come to life and you guys right now it's fall it's cozy
Look, I would love talking to a smart nerdy attorney.
But I feel like you like, you have the three or four subject matters you like to talk about, which is like parenting and... And nails and... So I feel like I love you and I support you and I didn't want you to come off not good. So I danced around the subject and I'm sorry.
Yeah, but that's what I don't like about it. No, no, no.
No, because boring people, like there's always fast food subject matter. It's actually true. I hate to say it. Sports is like fast food subject matter number one.
And so I didn't really want to go down that path. I'd love to do it if I can do it in a way that I think was authentic to me. And yeah, over the past, over the past few days, just kind of given some insights in the life and the trouble I'm getting into and the interactions between you and I has been fun. So we'll see how it goes.
That's the key to my heart is when I lob like a nice... something controversial right out of the gates and just see what the reaction is. But I don't know. We're talking a lot about me, so... No, no, no, but I think it's good.
Your superpower is connecting with people. Everyone loves you.
No, but we need to because you just kissed my ass.
But it is a superpower. You can connect with people. Just what I've learned is you're connecting and then if they're talking about a subject that you're not interested in, like, I don't know, you kind of come to me after and say like, that was really boring. And I actually think that was really interesting. Like someone's talking about some country that you've never heard of.
Like, don't you want to? I don't know. Whatever.
Well, we'll see how it is.
No, you're not. You're the opposite. You're just more selective about who you spend time with. You want them to fit in a very different box. Your box is more narrow than my box.
No, you're totally, totally, totally. You like these people. You get along with these people.
But you're just not rushing to go and spend time with them.
Yeah.
Um, um, so where to from here?
Um... Yeah, so this is my first bachelor party since Tate's been born. But I think that bachelor parties over the past few years are just like they're a completely different experience than they were five to ten years ago. And like, you know, so. Are you going to miss her? I'm going to miss her dearly. I'm going to miss you dearly. Um, but this is my, like, it's very low key.
Like it's a golf bachelor weekend. Um, I think like we had so much fun when we were younger and we did all the traditional, like Miami, Vegas, um,
some pretty fun international spots really uh that now that we're on the other side like they're just a lot more mature in nature like we're not you know going to the club and getting bottle service and talk you know having girls around like it's things have just matured up so you're in the club showing them your baby and your baby mama Yeah, it's just like the time has changed. So I'm excited.
I love my friends that I do spend time with, and I'm excited to celebrate them. And this is an awesome group.
That's it. I got it out of my system.
Yeah, it's probably like it's you. I probably like I don't even want to call this about a bachelor party anymore. They're not bachelor parties anymore.
They're no longer bachelor parties. They're guys trips.
So yeah, since 2022, diamond prices are down 46% and they're at their all-time lows in pricing.
Yeah, and I guess they used to trade in line with gold pricing. And so I think gold pricing, to pull it up specifically, because I have it in my notes,
So over the last five years, gold prices have risen 84%. And since 2022, diamond prices have plummeted 46%.
Yeah, so exactly. So lab-grown are just gaining prevalence. And so my question to you is, what do you think of lab-grown diamonds?
Yeah, I think that it's – like, the diamond is a sign of commitment to that person. And so I think the most important thing is that whatever you're buying –
uh accurately reflects your your commitment and to me my intuition given the symbolic nature of it is to go real um and then you know the the business side of me is like oh you gotta go lab but but i think this is one where you got to follow the heart and not and not the brain
I get both sides. I get both sides. You are a real. I'm a real diamond guy.
Well, that's what you can expect. Time will tell. Maybe. Depends.
I'm kidding.
Well, it was also an hour and a half from the house because I was on a really big walk. And it was like her eating time was like 30 minutes away. And so I was like getting – going to this coffee shop where I was going to sit and feed her. And like right before I walked in, it just slipped out of the little carrier that I had.
I feel like we had one other thing that we wanted to talk about.
Oh, I did. I wanted a different brain break topic.
I'm very unhappy with our gift situation.
Like how we did gifts over Christmas.
Yeah.
Because like we bought each other these things and the size fit and now we're running around returning things. It's impossible to return stuff. And like, I don't even know where my gifts are and I don't even know where your gifts are. And like, like I bought you those Lucchese boots. I thought you loved them. You didn't love them.
But like it just – I think our program was totally off and I don't want to do like blind gift giving again.
But I'm sure you're past the return date by now.
OK. But our house is full of stuff to return. Yeah. And it's like, it takes up space. I think we need to like unromanticize the gift giving.
Do you want to? Just so we're clear, because I went to the Lucchese store. I bought you the boots. You said you didn't like the boots.
If you liked them, you would have kept them.
So you didn't like the boots. I didn't like how they fit. So I take the boots back and now like we need to go get the other boots. And it's just like we got to do it all together next year.
I'm saying we need the magic gone.
We don't have a single gift.
There's no gifts. Every gift has been returned.
No, I didn't. Really didn't. Like really didn't. Why not? I didn't like the way it fit. That was the perfect example. You got me all this workout stuff and like I didn't like any of it. It didn't fit me. That's not a – and so it's like – Painter's pants.
I like those painter's pants. You gave them to me literally three weeks after like Christmas two days ago. I didn't know those were a Christmas gift.
Oh, no. You just said I got you these. I was like, oh, that's really nice of you. Thank you.
But I appreciate the thought and the effort of the workout stuff, but I want to pick my own workout stuff.
Yeah.
Well, because I couldn't tell you at the time, you would have been sad.
I liked it in thought. The sizing was off. The material was just not my thing.
I wore Nike and Fabletics. I like Fabletics.
And it was very nice you got them for me. I just wish that, like, we could have gone together and I could have picked the ones I wanted.
Am I in trouble for bringing this up?
These carriers, as amazing as they are, they don't have a good milk holder or bottle holder, sorry. And like when that hit, it was – It was a heartbreaking moment. But luckily, you know, we turned around. We got home before she was on the later side with that eat. So we got lucky.
What's your, like, take on this?
Yeah, but it's hard for me. I already went to the store and got you the boots.
Like that is just – But so I don't – what my job is to like go to this – I don't know.
I mean I think – I think we need a better – we need a better system. So let me leave it at this. I would love you to think of a better gifting system and gifting program and what brought this up to me was Valentine's Day is coming up and like I'm concerned about 2.0 on Valentine's Day and our house just being full of shit that you don't want.
You are the hardest person in the world. You are actually the hardest person in the world to shop for. Never met anyone like it.
Yeah.
You are, you are like.
New dress. No. Shoes. No. Ring.
Bag.
Well, you lost your evening bag on the TikTok bet. So good luck.
You can use the one I bought my mom. Perfect.
Nothing. I don't want anything. My favorite part of gaining financial independence is no one ever needed to buy me anything again.
I brought him home. She's like, ah, don't like him.
She loved him so much, she didn't try the size bigger to see if she could get her foot in.
Okay, well.
I walked into that store, and I was wearing my Fabletics workout stuff, the black on black. And no one helped you. I could tell no one helped me. Yeah. I was like, I'm a dangerous shopper.
Yep.
Yeah, just a great way to avoid getting in trouble.
Yeah, I think I get what's going on.
This is brutal. This is brutal.
Yeah, exactly. So my my take was this was just a bunch of posturing by ByteDance and they were going to work out a deal to keep it afloat. And so Kalshi had betting odds and it was do you think that it's going to be banned? And technically it was banned. So I lost the bet, and then 24 hours later it popped back up. How much did you bet? That's a bad beat.
I'm not going to say the dollar amount, but I'll say I bet a handbag.
The types that you like. So it was a decent bet.
It was a decent bet.
10 handbags.
Generally speaking, yeah.
It was like 9 to 1 is what I got it at.
Are people, like, are the people who lost the bet mad?
Yeah, I don't take betting seriously. So I'm not upset. I'm sure some people are upset.
No, because I'm pretty sure that they're really clear on their definitions of like what classifies as a yes or a no. And so the reason why – the technical bet was will it get banned before May and the bet closed on Friday or Saturday. So it closed before the actual deadline because it hit the definition. Okay.
It was ridiculous.
The whole thing was ridiculous.
And where there was clearly some political posturing going on is the way I understood it is once the Supreme Court made their decision, ByteDance or TikTok had 48 hours to just show that they were going through a sale process. And then that would have delayed... That would have delayed the the ruling for up to another 90 days.
And like the fact they didn't do any of that, you know, makes me think that they were just, you know, having backdoor conversations of, hey, we'll let this thing go through. We'll deal direct with Trump who's who's stepping in next and he'll clear us shortly after. And that's kind of how it played out.
But what's the benefit? Because you don't want to lose users to Reels. Because to my understanding, TikTok got banned in India. And a whole bunch of copycats come in. But Reels just took the mass majority of market share because they already have the user base and they already have the tech nailed down. So I don't think TikTok wanted to play that game.
Can I tell a quick story on my weird last name? Please. So, you know, I'm like really bad with pronunciations. Like I can't tell the difference between like.
I think they would have got that sorted in like 24 to 48 hours.
Yeah, I trust it would have worked itself out.
A day in the life.
I don't use reels.
I'm definitely on baby TikTok. Crazy enough, my TikTok isn't back of everyone. Everyone's back. Mine isn't back.
I want to prove this to the viewer.
Oh, I just got a text that we're buying something. Oh my God.
One moment.
Really?
Okay. Let's keep it moving.
What did I DM you? Because the question is, what did I DM you? I feel like you just jumped to.
Well, I DMed you an article that.
Yep.
Pay homage to the segment.
Toyota.
That was a really good transition, by the way, because the text was about a meme coin.
Should I do my preface? No, what's the preface? The thing where you hedge? Disclaimer. Should I do my disclaimer now or after?
My disclaimer is I look at these meme coins the same way I look at going to a casino. I hate going to casinos. I think blackjack is so boring. I like poker, but poker with a group of people. Hold'em, but all that stuff at the casino, the slots, I'm snooze-fest. Meme coins, amazing. Like these things are as fun as it gets.
Yeah. I like Cabo.
The bottom of my heart. Believe that Cabo that we just said the same thing. So I growing up, I just always said my name was Fugman. And it must have been somewhere between like 8th and 10th grade that I was told it's Fugman.
Yeah, you're – so do you want me to talk about like how the whole meme thing started with me?
Okay. So this was probably about a month ago. And it was the night that, I don't know if we've ever fully told the story of the night and what happened independently with you, but it was a night of Mexican food with the neighbors. And it was a heavy night with what we call gasoline margaritas. And I got a text late into the evening being like, hey, buy this.
And before I went to bed, I pulled out my laptop and I did a bunch of clicking. And with a lot of these meme coins, it's impossible to tell if the transactions went through. All the programs are super glitchy. And so I go to sleep like thinking I did it, but not totally sure. And how much did you buy it for? So I put in. So I thought I put in five soul. Solana is a token.
But it turns out I put in one soul. OK, I learned this the next morning. I may want to start telling the story over. I can tell it better. Or do you not think so?
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's keep going.
Okay. I didn't know if I liked, but we'll keep it going.
I mean, we're on the time stamps and now we're talking. Let's go. Let's get back into it. So long story short, get a text from a buddy. And before bed, I go in, I do a bunch of clicking and I buy this. It's called a whitelist. It's like a prelaunch. So I wake up in the morning to a text from them being like, did you get in? And I was like, that's a pretty good text to wake up to.
Ready?
Handier part of life.
But do you – that's entirely different than – we have this area where we're going to build a bar. Like, built in, we need a drink fridge and there's going to be, like, cabinets and it's like a drink area and it's in our kitchen. And Harrison's like, I'm going to do that myself. And I'm like, there's a lot of carpentry involved.
Which I had reported at the top of the dinner.
what i'm i'm just i'm like going direct to the people here no i your mom was side with me on this there was the three of us in the car you said i'm gonna do it myself and i said oh are you sure and she said well he did work for a contractor that so she thought you misleading she also thought you were gonna be diying like sawing wood yeah i like moved like garbage for a summer like i didn't do any building um
Not including the fridge?
Does that include installation?
But they have to come install it.
Fire in the hole.
That's what he said. And I just looked at him and I said, okay, can you just, can we, can we redo it without the sauce please? And so he takes it back and he comes back over and he's like, I'm so sorry. I know you told me you were dairy free, but I thought butter was okay. And I was like, it's not your fault. You it's so it's my fault.
You didn't give me the updated quote. I'm just hearing about this now.
No way.
Why?
Oh, keep that in. The floors are 15 and his name is Royce. We'll send you his number if you need it.
Okay, wait, hold on. Here's the thing about the floors too.
Can I say something?
You, so we were on the phone today with the architect and And, well, we weren't. You were. Because I'm taking a back seat here. Yeah. But we were in the car. I was actually in the front seat. And so I could hear him on the phone. And he was like, man, you've done a lot of homework. Like, you sent me so much information. We don't even need to have this call. So I am so proud of you.
Where I don't think we're going to end up needing a GC is, like, you're on this. Yeah.
You're doing a good job though right now. Because the biggest thing for me is these floors upstairs because we have to move everything out and then get the wood floors put down and then move back in. That to me is a lot. So I'm really proud of you. You're just trucking along.
I'm with you. I think, okay, I agree with that. I do think in other cities it would be different because like right now Royce can pop by kind of at any time, right? Like you can pretty much get over here and meet him. You're never more than 20 minutes away. Whereas if you have a vacation home, it's like, scheduling them in a finite amount of time.
And then like, I think that would be more of a headache. Um, but I'm really liking the way you do things. And I was very skeptical about the whole remodeling situation. So, so far so good. And like, I'll only pop in like the wood floors. I liked the ideas of the wood, wood floors going down. You did the quotes, you got the samples. And then I was like, this is why we should pick this one.
It's not your fault, but I cannot believe what you just did to me and my relationship. And he was like, what? And I was like, he doesn't think I'm dairy free. And he was like, there's so much butter on the chicken. And I was like, Mark, get out of here. I love him. He's great. Same waiter. And then I said, you know what?
Cause it matches the one downstairs. Like that's where I have an opinion, but you're the executor. I'm like, pop off, dude. You're doing a great job.
Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm thrilled.
I watched Bring It On last night.
Okay. Let's do that after.
Okay, great. And then I'm just fixated on the chandelier that's going to go upstairs. So I'm going to order that soon because I like our new electrician.
Joe, Bill and Kirk and Royce. That's the characters of the podcast today.
Got the electrician stuff done. Thank you. All the temperatures of the lights in our house were different colors and it was driving me insane. But now we're so back. It's so funny. I am loving all the little progress.
Yep, we are working. Guys, let's talk about Quince because I recently got their linen maxi skirt and it is Perfect for summertime, and the quality is so high. I've been harping on since Quint started advertising and we started ordering from them, you guys. The quality is unbelievable.
They had the cashmere sweaters in the winter, and now they have the most linen, luxurious, high-quality summer items available. I'm talking 100% European linen shorts and dresses from $30, luxe swimwear, Italian leather platform sandals, and so much more.
The best part, everything with quints is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'd find at similar brands, but we don't compromise on quality because they partner direct with factories and they're able to pass on the discounts to us. And I'm telling you guys, this stuff is so cute. I love this linen maxi skirt. It's like black and white gingham and I pair it with a white t-shirt from them.
Because one thing – okay, so when we first had tater tot, Harrison and I – like I drank more in that span than I probably ever have. And I think that that's a common thing that a lot of new parents deal with based off my conversations with them. And it's not like you're like drunk every night by any means. But I was having just like – I'm not a one glass of whiner, right? On like a Monday.
Kudos to you for remembering us and that I ordered the chicken on Saturday night.
That's not really my thing. But when we first had her, we were like home a lot. I was like, oh my gosh, I would love a glass of wine. And it was almost like – I was drinking it to be like, okay, it's a breath of fresh air. And so now fast forward. Okay. So she just turned eight months and I feel like we're sort of calling on ourselves being like, we're going to do a reset.
Like we're getting up earlier. Um, drinking entirely less. Like that was just a cycle that I think we caught ourselves in. Would you agree? Yeah. And I'm fine. And I'm actually completely fine with it. Cause I think it's a stressful time. Like we moved, like there's so many things that happened and it's like, but we, we were, I was cracking some wine bottles.
I know you are. You love it. You love a good time. But I'm, but hold on. This is a big disclaimer I want to make. Cause I like a lot of my friends, they would be like, Alex is really fun. Alex will sit and have a bottle of wine with you. And I will.
Like I'm that girl, but I'm just saying, I think there's some time to say, okay, I want to, we're, we're going to focus mode and I think it's fine to flow with it.
Cooked butter is one thing. This sauce was very white buttery situation happening.
I mean, that's a great thing to get to. And you know what I like when you get us places, cause I could be a bit rambly.
Burr.
It is a thing. Cooked butter is a thing. Okay, Harrison doesn't think I'm lactose intolerant. Part 100. Okay, today we're going to talk. Today's a good episode. I'm very excited about it. We're going to get into alcohol in our relationship later in the episode.
I think that's a really good, I think that was worded really well. Um, Now, so then, because I like having these conversations. And so I put it on Instagram. I have like this mom chat. It's called the mom's group, I think. And so I put it in there. I was like, hey, we're thinking about doing a relationship with alcohol episode. Do you guys have any questions?
And so the first one that I want to talk about was how did you get Harrison on this vibe, on your same vibe? And he just answered it. Which is I had been thinking it, but the past two months what I thought was like, okay, then you just handle yourself. No problem. And so then I just swapped how I did it. I was like, there's nights I would go out, I'd be like, I don't want to drink.
Now granted, I think one thing I want to delineate on here is like, we weren't going out seven nights a week.
I think we were actually out seven out of 10.
Always.
And I think that that's what did it to me was I was like, this has put me over the edge, like too social too much.
And so, um, I was, I had myself handled where when we would go out sometimes I'd be like, I don't want to drink. And then I won't, I really won't drink a Monday through Thursday because
in general that's what we were trying to do but then it got out of hand because miami happened and miami was during the week so anyways i guess enough on the disclaimers i just wanted to go to you and be like hey i would like to bring this up i didn't know how you would take it i didn't even really care how you took it i just wanted to toss it out there round one did you get what the question was yeah how did you get age to share your vibe
Okay, what was it? I would love to know.
Boom, there it is. Okay, I made it a we thing.
But of course, off the top, we're going to bust into the IRL, starting with what I was doing before this, which is ordering car accessories. We're going to stalk the car. But Harrison was like, I want to get chomps for the car. We're not putting meat sticks in the car only for it to be 110 degrees outside and just like make the car smell like meat. That's a bad idea.
Lead by example.
No, not at all.
No, I think that it's tough because in this conversation, I feel like we have to put a lot of disclaimers on it, and I think we should just stop that right now. Yes, no more disclaimers.
There must be some clovers in the atmosphere. Yeah. Good job. Okay. Welcome to Two Parents in a podcast. Harrison. Harrison.
Yeah, but I will say this. I'm happy with my pair back strategy.
Well, I mean, I haven't drank, but I would say my current path is if I do drink, I'm a wine girl. I'm a wine or a champagne girl.
But that's champagne.
I'm calling that champagne category. So yeah, I'm an Aperol or a wine girly and two is great with me and three hurts. Like I don't feel good in the mornings.
Yeah. I mean, listen, I'll change this. This will change in three weeks, but right now, like I don't want to drink. So yeah, it's not like limiting. It's more like good luck getting me to, but yeah, if I drink and we go out and have fun, like one to two nights a week would be great.
What about you?
But I still want to be able to go out some nights and have fun. And like, that could be four glasses of wine. Like I don't, I don't want to put parameters around it, but I do want to pay attention to it.
I think that's really good. And when you put parameters on it, like this weekend, we, we just, we had, I had so much fun with you this weekend. Like the best time.
Yeah. I think that's important too.
Okay. Welcome to Two Parents. That was a little loud. I'm going to start that one more time. Ready?
We cooked a lot, but there's also, I do, I agree with you. Like, I don't think the pendulum needs to swing so hard one direction and so hard another direction. It's like very much so it's a balance. We're finding our balance. Um, okay. How do you think alcohol affects your relationship with each other?
You were on a call the whole time at Meteor today. We have to at least laugh at that. Okay, fine. We didn't talk.
Love it. This is really good insight.
But Harrison did make a car rule. He made it. I'm glad it was him, not me. He said no hot food allowed in the car, but you can have snacks in the car, which I think is great. I just I would like to eliminate meat sticks that can melt. Similarly, not allowed to have chocolate protein bars that are going to melt.
I love it too because I have more fun with you than anybody else that I've ever met in my life. Like I have a blast with you. So I like that you just said that. I will say this though. Those other areas do start to affect the relationship though. So I actually think that's interesting.
I think too, but I think this too. I think I caught it. I think when I said something, it was well before I had a problem. I think I was like, oh, this could become one. So I wanted to say something.
I agree. Okay, so now I'm going to go to my phone because there was a lot of questions and I didn't want to write them all down. All right. Okay, how do you decide who gets up with Tate in the night or in the morning if you both had some beverages that night? So the last we chatted was we were talking about, not we chatted, but you guys listening.
The last time we touched on who gets up in the middle of the night, we had said I was getting up in the middle of the night and Harrison was getting the full night's sleep. Things have switched now. Because when she gets up in the middle of the night, she doesn't want milky. It used to be I would get up because I would breastfeed her.
But now if she gets up and cries, Harrison gets up and gets her.
Wow. That's fascinating. Yeah.
Do you feel competitive with me about which parent she likes more?
No.
Because I don't at all. It's very much so a group project and a group effort.
Oh, they love Maria. They get so excited when they see her.
The glove box.
Okay, I think alcohol for everybody... Sorry, that doesn't make sense. Let me read that again. I think alcohol for every event has become so normal in our culture. What do you think are reasonable boundaries around alcohol consumption, especially as parents? I think knowing... For me, I just realize my personal boundaries and set them in. How much can I drink and then feel great in the morning?
And it's two glasses of wine, I can feel great in the morning. I can feel fine. Okay.
You can say it. I mean, it's Dierks Bentley and Harrison cannot stop playing it.
Okay, I want to say something else here. There was two Range Rovers that we were deciding between.
Yeah.
One of them had significantly larger rims and like a nicer kit on it than the other one. And one was more expensive than the other one. And Harrison looked at me and he said, will your happiness change on one versus the other? And it was the best question he ever asked me. And I was like, absolutely not. And he was like, didn't get this one. And I was like, Oh my gosh, thank you.
And the same thing happened when we went to look at houses. There was one that was, I mean, it was awesome. Jaw dropping, awesome, significantly more expensive. And Harrison asked me, would your happiness change if you lived in that house versus our house? And I was like, no, in fact, I think I'm actually happier in our house. And thank you for teaching me this.
In case, we think maybe the person or the realtor listened to the pod.
Who we love.
The girl that owns this house would understand.
Oh, yeah. We closed on the little land next door.
Very exciting. Yeah. So that's, but I like, I like, I love that you introduced me to that theory. Would you be happier with this? Would it affect your happiness? Sometimes the answer can be yes, but the answer has been no. So that's a great, that's a really good one. Um, I also, I oftentimes tell Harrison to talk more because I love when you talk.
Jules is always out on her Instagram story.
Yes, she tagged three of them. So she has three friends. I went again this morning. She went again this morning. Jules is more social than we are.
I ordered her. Guess what I ordered her today?
You're missing out, yeah.
It's funny that the neighbor across the street did just ask me today if I've been to Barton Springs. And...
but sorry okay okay so the question was basically how do we maintain a social life if we're cutting back on alcohol does that affect any of our friendships okay well we've cut back on alcohol for like a week so we can't for me i'd been cutting back on it okay so why don't you go well it wasn't affecting my socializing at all um because i socialized like my friend emma we love to go to pilates together and then we'll go and get a coffee
Two remote controls.
So I like breakfast dates. I think naturally when you're a parent too, you're just less social at night. But if we go out and we're social one or two nights a week, like that's great for me. So no, it hasn't affected my social life. You?
It's like honestly a joke. We will have every toy, spoons, which she loves, like all the top favorites. I will pull the remote out and she gets locked on that remote and she's just following it around. So then I'm watching bring it on and then I have to take the remote, the batteries out of the remote and then give her the remote. Like babies love remotes. But I also think dogs love remotes.
You could have multiple walking friends.
You're not going to catch me on a walk though much with people, but you will catch you on a walk with somebody.
You love a walk and talk. Um, okay. How do you navigate if one parent is drinking is the drinking type and the other is fairly sober? When is it fair to ask your partner that you'd like to have a few drinks instead of always being the default parent and how to communicate that? Do you understand that question? Um,
Basically when they go out, he's always the one that drinks and I'm assuming her kids are a little bit older and she always doesn't drink so she can watch them and therefore she feels like the default parent. But she wants to ask him, hey, I want to have some drinks tonight. Can you hold down the fort with the kids? You guys know I love skims.
I'm actually wearing the fits everybody bralette right now and it is truly the most amazing underwear and bras I've ever discovered. I cannot keep it to myself any longer. You guys have been shouting it from the rooftops. You come home, and you don't even remember you're wearing a bra. It's truly the best.
I've been wearing Skims for three years now, and I recently just tried the Fits Everybody collection. It is truly amazing. life-changing and it is replacing. It already has replaced all the underwear in my drawer, especially postpartum. You just want to be comfy. So the fits everybody thong and the fits everybody triangle bralette, the one I'm wearing right now, they are unbelievable.
And I'm a bralette connoisseur. And so trust me, I would know shop skims fits everybody collection and more at skims.com. And after you've placed your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey. And be sure to select our show in the drop-down menu that follows. One thing that I do love about you is you're really good at being like, I want you to have fun first to me.
I hope the way she navigates it though to answer her question is bring it up to him and I really hope he receives it well and he's happy to give her a good time.
Okay, give me a good example of what we could say, I could say to you.
Not going to land well.
I don't know what this dynamic is, but like, um, it's, it's the saying your message is only as loud as it can be heard.
Which is your messaging of it. It's your delivery.
Yeah, that's our communication styles though. Like I do – I have learned things will land with you if I execute them in a certain way. Just like know your partner.
And – Oh, that's a really good saying. Like I don't want to come to you and be like, hey, let me have fun and you – but hey, let's both have fun and let's do it 50-50. Yeah. Yeah. That's a really good – that's good.
Yes, there's something about remotes. Maybe it's that she's watching us press it.
Okay, last one before we get into things we DMed. It's for the moms. I'm exclusively pumping and wondering how you navigated pumping and drinking. Do you pump and dump? Wait a couple hours? I haven't had a drink yet because I don't know what to do. So I posted a TikTok, and the internet just – they were so good on this one. I posted a TikTok where I ordered these Frida Southwest – Freedom Moms.
Freedom Southwest is a, is it a restaurant? It's a, it's a restaurant in Oklahoma City. That was so weird. Okay. I ordered the Freedom Mom breast milk testing strips. Okay. And they test for alcohol and I put it, I made a video. I was like, okay, I had a margarita last night. Here's my breast milk. And I tested it and it came back and it was like alcohol detected.
Then I videoed me pouring the milk down the drain. And this was like month two, okay? And I was like, very new, but this is how you learn. So I want to share this with you all. A, if you have apple juice and then test your breast milk, it's going to test as it's going to detect alcohol in it.
So there was a couple of nurses in the comments and a bunch of nurses DM'd me and they were like, never throw out your breast milk. Like it's not, this is not medical advice. This is just what I deducted myself, but at a minimum, give it to them in a bath or put it on them if they have boo-boos, but also make a cocktail.
So take your breast milk when you weren't drinking and then mix it with the other ones if you were drinking. And you can mix it up together. And like the odds of the alcohol getting through to them, like very minimal. So a lot of nurses, like delivery nurses and OBs were messaging me. They were like, do not throw out your breast milk. It is fine. So that's what I've come to.
But do your own research and do what you feel comfortable with. But... Yeah. It's pretty diluted in there. For the moms. For the moms. Okay, so now let's go to things we DM'd. You down?
Okay.
Things we DM'd. Okay, but first before that, so last week on the things we DM'd was the Nestle scam that you sent, right? About how Nestle was targeting moms in third world countries and peddling their formula. And it was the Nestle scam. Is that what it was called? The Nestle scam?
Scandal.
Scandal. Scandal. Okay, so update. I saw this video that somebody sent, which is basically that Nestle's lobbying for shorter maternity leaves. So moms will have to go back to work and then they won't be able to breastfeed and they'll need formula. But then the girl that made the video was like, so I went on their website to see their maternity leave and they have a good maternity leave.
It's like 18 weeks. And so she was like, on one hand, you know, they're covering their bases by giving a good maternity leave. But on the other hand, they're in their lobbying that people should have shorter maternity leaves.
So, apparently, we need to not drink Nespresso. Like, I'm very mad at Nestle. And I didn't know Nestle was the Nespresso. So, it's Espresso by Nestle, and that's why it's called Nespresso. I would throw them away if you had them.
Oh, yes. Sorry, I bought a car. That's what I'm stalking it.
No, that's bad.
Thank you. I could not have bought the car without you because I started having really bad imposter syndrome where I was like, I can afford the car, but I don't know if I deserve the car. And then I was like, maybe I'll just get some other random car. And then Harrison was like, you've always wanted this car. Go get the car. I did not know, though, that car prices were negotiable.
I mean, Harrison... A moment. It makes me emotional actually, because I remember at the three month mark, we talked about it. We were like, this is when most people require you to come back to work. The, the heart, and I'm so thankful. I'm saying this from a standpoint of like, I'm really thankful that I work from home. And so I can be in or around Bubber.
But the heartache that I see moms experience the night before, because people will make videos about it. They're like, my maternity leave ends tonight, so tomorrow I go back to work. And you wake up, and not only do you have to leave your baby, but I still cannot function the way I could before. I don't know if I ever will again. But at three months, I was in a cloud.
And that doesn't include if you have postpartum depression. That's assuming everything healed fine. You know, like your body and your mind goes through so much that three months, I couldn't walk a mile until four months.
Like I was wrecked and I know I didn't have it the worst. And so I'm really happy to hear because, you know, moms, we can say it, but it's people that didn't go through it that need to say it. And so I'm really proud of you for saying that.
Let's pull a list. I think that next time I'll just pull a couple. We'll just see what... You know what?
Well, next episode, let's thumb through some of the big guys...
Yeah, and what their maternity leave policies are. That'd be a fun little segment next week. Let's just talk through some.
Well, they know we're going to go check their website. It's just like this girl that made the video. She's like, let me just go check theirs.
I see the sticker price and I'm like, obviously you have to pay the sticker price. And the sales guy, Kirk, he was over there with us and Harrison's like, how much can you come down off the car price? And I'm like, obviously you can't come down off. And he's like, there's some wiggle room. And I'm like, how much?
Well, we'll look.
This is so messed up.
It's disheartening.
Yeah. It's juicy. But people are on it a bit because we were getting some DMs. Like people are... This is... Yeah.
Yeah. All right. Now, so that was just a re-circle back from last week. So now this week, what I DMed you is... how shows have changed. And back in the day, there was a Disney show or a Nickelodeon show that would drop, right? And it would teach kids time management because they would have to have all their chores done by their show coming on at 7 p.m.
And then do you want to know the most important thing? And I completely forgot about this. You couldn't pause the show. So you'd have to have everything done and you would sit in front of it and you would watch the show and you would watch the commercials. And it was like your 30-minute block, right?
And that's lost now because it's all on like DVR and Apple TV and you can just like pop on a show whenever. And I think it's really cool that back in the day that that was part of it.
Oh my God. I say it wrong. Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon.
Nickelodeon. I thought that's what I did say. Nick. And then another thing that I saw in the comments of this video were like how important it was that Nick and Disney didn't have drop times of big shows at the same time. They had planning between themselves. Did you guys have Nick in Canada?
That's a lost art.
It's so sentimental. There used to be shows, Arthur, that dropped. What was my PBS Saturday morning show? I think it was Arthur. But I love that I would sit there, I would get a donut on Saturdays and I would watch it. I would watch the whole thing through.
No, but I didn't watch anything not during those times because I didn't watch, like my world didn't revolve around TV. So I would know that my PB&J Otter came out on Wednesdays at 6 p.m. And so like I would come home for it.
Never watched Friends.
Hey, Arnold.
I. What was your favorite show?
So good. Rugrats, the movie, all the time.
Oh, that was a good one.
Think about Bubber. What do you want for Bubber's childhood? Immediate access to a whole drop of the Rugrats? No. Were they even doing seasons back then or they were just doing random episodes?
No, it's not a take. It's a thought. I'm presenting a thought.
Yes. Did you have a curfew? Did you have like a seven, eight, nine year old curfew when you were that age? Not high school.
um like in high school or before no no seven eight nine year old curfew did you have a curfew at that time well i feel like at that time my parents are always with me no you would go out and play with people in your neighborhood i always played with my neighbors shout out will he was my age and lisa
Your parents made you come home when you were seven years old, I'm sure.
But did you have to come home for dinner? Oh, I had to come home for dinner a lot. Like I had to be home by dinner. But my mom would yell outside. She'd be like, dinner's ready. And then I would come home. Why are you looking at me like I'm crazy?
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay. Because, like, we had to be home by dark or by dinner. And then sometimes after dinner, I think I was allowed to go back outside. But then a lot of times they were, then Will was inside for dinner. So, you know, then you don't want to go back outside. We play on the rocks.
No, you explain it because you DM'd it to me.
She knows when the lights are dim and the sound machine's on and we're sitting in the rocker that we're going towards night-night time.
And she knows what it's night-night means. yes but you won't read her books i keep suggesting and you always say that you go i'm not a book guy but i read her the books at night and she knows that night night's coming and she knows her leapy sack but no i agree we we should do a song i feel like there's another step to take and i can uh the song i think i think the song can can can become a thing
We also, we want to get a lamp in her bedroom. So like, I do think we could set the stage a bit more for night night. Yep. I love it. I'm all for this. It's a very good tip. Okay.
Cause like we hadn't thought of it. We could also do a wake up song.
What's that? Sing it for us.
Okay. Give us a tune. Singing in the name of. Rage in the machine.
Killing in the name of. Killing in. I'll listen to it after this.
What about Buck Cherry? Crazy B-I-T-H by them. Hey, you're crazy. Oh, it's really. You can't do that one. Yeah.
Dressing room.
Locker room.
Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, we love you.
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It's a really good tactic if you have the time.
But here's the thing.
I loved our guy, William Kirk, here at Land Rover Austin. Land Rover Jaguar, William Kirk. They call him Kirk for short, I realized.
Yes. Did you not hear Bill in accounting? Shout out to Bill because we cut that. We did a good shave. We did a nice shave. I'm not going to throw Bill under the bus because Bill deserves props.
They were all awesome. Like the experience was so much fun. And then I was thrilled with like, I'm not going to sit here and say that the car I bought was cheap. Okay. Like I'm not going to do that. I'm just going to say the price I was, it was significantly lower than I thought it was going to be.
Well, I kept talking. I was like, I wonder what my mom car will be. I wonder what my mom car will be. And then it was cool because I was like, it's time for me to go get my mom car.
Well, here's what you love about it. Admit this. Sitting up high is fun.
Sitting up high on the road, you're like, you're up there with the trucks. You're like, hey guys.
Tell us. Nope. That's not fun for anybody.
You're going to put something on the car?
A little, an ode to Bubbers.
What's the car secret? Oh, I know the car secret. Wait, did you get it?
Okay, tell us.
Is it a dad car?
And it's an unexpected dad car. I'll tell you that. Because the insurance on Harrison's car ran out, so he's got to send it back to Canada. I don't know why I think that's so funny.
It was great. It's just, it has to go back to Canada. And it's funny because it's a car, you know, and like you wouldn't think that would have to go back.
It is too bad. Yeah. What happened?
Run up there and get one. I can talk.
Sure. Sure, I can sit here and talk while we get it.
Okay.
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Okay, he's back. Welcome back.
All right, you got your iced coffee. Okay, so car, I think we're done on that, right? Thank you for helping me do the negotiating. I think that it's like there's also this sort of like asking for a discount at a nice car dealership I felt really weird about. And thank you for doing that.
Okay. You got your shocks on. You have your shocks on.
I also just like had a blast. We kept going and we would walk around and then like three times we would do some test driving and it was great.
Um, so yeah, we, we love it. All right. I wanted to give you some flowers now because flock has done a really cool deal.
Okay. Well, we'll cut it if we're not, but pretend as though for now we'll proceed as though we are allowed to. And what's the, okay. So flock sometimes does these collapse. Like they have one with Hattie B's. So it's a chicken skin X Hattie B's, right?
This is a Terry Black's stand podcast.
Let's hear it.
It's amazing. Yeah.
Buffalo, New York. Okay, so that's the Buffalo Wild Wing originated there.
The Wild Wing is a different restaurant.
Fun.
Oh, yeah. You asked me, you said, do you want to go to Buffalo for the launch party? I was like, yeah, I'm really proud of you. Good job. This is an exciting collaboration.
Have you had them? Tasted them?
Because got some things in the works. And unfortunately for me, ladies and gentlemen, Harrison's like, I'm going to do some of this myself. And I'm like, they're, you know, not, you're so good at a lot of things. Okay. I want to start with that. I want to say that few people are as you're just, you're really good at a lot of things where you don't excel sometimes is the handier thing.
You can't make this up.
I'm glad we at least made an offer on that house but the fact that we didn't get it makes me happy because I don't think we love that house.
I have no idea what that means.
We should total up our baby quip bill. So because she has a snoo, And I want Babyquip to respond to me because I would like to do a brand deal with them because legitimately we use them. Okay. It's this app where like if you have a snoo or you need a stroller. So Newport was my favorite experience yet where we used it. I order a snoo. You get there. They have it set up in the hotel room.
It just means like, well, the pots and kettles are all black.
Okay.
With like the stroller, with the toys.
I mean, because it's moms doing it.
Yeah.
And these moms are so with it. But so in Aspen, for example, I ordered a toy and a stroller. So like those little, what are those, skip hops? They got those. They'll just deliver them for like $4 a day.
It's like the stove call on the kettle. They're all, you know, like iron. Well, not yet. Then now the cat has your tongue. Do you know what that means?
It's an amazing service.
It's an amazing service that will not reply to me about doing a brand deal.
Really?
Yeah. Because like I like to do brand deals with people that we genuinely use. Um, okay. So the pumping journey is continued. We're going to, we're going to just keep going, but I got my by heart formula. Um, that's the one I landed on as my favorite. I'm taking it to Aspen.
Okay. I ordered another one that I'm called Sammy's milk.
But this is one that has the cleanest label I've ever seen, but it says it's for children over 12 months. So now I just need to understand, can kids who are six months have it? And is that just kind of like they market it that way to keep the FDA happy, but you can actually give it to kids who are six months.
Okay. So the neighbor sent me an article about this mom influencer who did, okay, let me find it. Who rated all of her favorite formulas. Formula comparison guide.
And her top rated formula is one that's for toddlers, but she says it's the FDA thing you talk about. And she says to give it to, she does Bobby, Burt's Bees formula, By Heart, Organic.
Is Sammy's Milk on there?
Holly, Hip, 0 to 12.
serenity a2 toddler formula okay i i think the sammy's is cleaner than i'm quite sure sammy's is cleaner than all those as i've heard of all those and looked at all them but um it's one she liked yeah i just want uh to show sammy's to our pediatrician and have them give us the thumbs up or thumbs down okay okay i like it but we're continuing on the milk journey but there'll be no more like going to weddings with my pump that's the stuff i'm like done with don't you agree
I, I, are you sure that's the right thing?
Is it the right thing? Cause it's never made sense to me. Like, why would the cat have your tongue?
Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.
It cannot be. And ideally, we can get her some nutrients with this food, but I just have learned that's not going to be overnight. We're going to have to build to that.
Yeah, I'm hoping she can get the food going faster than expected. And I guess to clarify before, I just would have thought the ramp...
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I, I'm not a gift guy.
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It doesn't matter.
Didn't like, I don't like receiving gifts and I love what you did for my birthday and All I wanted on my birthday was to spend time with you and spend time with Tate. It was amazing that my family came down. The gift doesn't do it for me. I love the thought, so thank you very much. But as I've said before, I think we need to do some more preemptive communication on the gift giving.
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What if we do the code as Julie and Jenny in Paris?
That's a really good idea, Harrison. Okay, so the house update. Guys, we made an offer on a house. A round of applause. Now we came in low. So we went and saw this house and like it needed some work, but it was, there were so many components of it that were really cool.
The coolest part of it was there was this room, which you can enter through a bookcase in the house, but the main door to this room is outside of the house on the balcony. So like you come, it's kind of like its own work entrance and it would have been our pod studio. And it was awesome. It had a kitchen. Like it was the whole cool thing.
But I feel like that's the sign of it wasn't the right house. If like you think the coolest feature of the house wasn't something actually like in the main house.
I just thought it was like a really cool like for our life the way that we both work from home or like go run around. We have this podcast like that's a huge. It was close.
It was really close. But like there was a couple of things that would have needed to be done that.
Like really needed to be done. It's just been like sitting. This house has been sitting. Yeah. And being rented. And there's a lot of work that needed to go into it. But we were close on it. And so what we thought we would do is make an offer that was – they've reduced the price on it.
Yeah. I think it's fair to call it a lowball offer. I don't think we need to get into the specifics of it.
Figured if they took it, they took it.
And that offer would have given us the room to make the renovations that –
we wanted they countered but you know we're just we're too far apart and i think that we okay okay you guys so the biggest thing was we found this house we loved we didn't buy it because of the location but what we've been messing with in our brain so much is we have a great setup with this nanny share like i timed this day it takes like 97 seconds to walk to the neighbor's house it's a dream we were this house was too far away and we were like dang we really don't want to tack on like 20 minutes driving there 20 minutes driving back
On our day. And so we were sitting here with the neighbors last night and we're like, all right, what Harrison said. Realistically, what does the nanny share look like if we live far apart?
After six attempts to talk yesterday, I finally got that point across.
And then the neighbor guy, he goes... This was... We could just probably say his name. We never say their names. Okay. We like not saying their names. I love not saying their names. We love just calling them the neighbors. It's ambiguous. He's like, we're all kind of toying it around and we're all like, it's really worth it. Like.
Yeah, and it's clearly been a point of stress for all of us. We love the girls together. I love the girls in the house. I love checking in on them. I love how it keeps our relationship with them going. And you could tell it was top mind for everyone. We all spent a lot of time thinking about it.
Everyone had it.
bleep it bleep the name I said it and then he goes we could also just ask Maria to pick up the girls on the way to the other one's house because she drives to her house every day every single person like put their head back and was like that solves it how like the embarrassingly the collective amount of energy I've spent thinking about this to not draw that as the simplest conclusion and like it also gives her more hours of work
It's the best. We'll add on 30 minutes on both sides. It's an hour more of work.
Which she wants, to be very clear.
Yes, absolutely. And I tell Julie this today. I'm like, gosh, thank goodness we solved the nanny share. And Julie's like, yeah, I thought about that. I shouldn't feel like it was my place to say it. And I'm like, please present good ideas.
So we're not going in as blind as we do.
Well, Jules, now you have a mic. There's no excuse to put the spotlight. Are there any other blatantly obvious things in our lives that we should be doing that we have forgotten?
You'd like to point out to us? Julie's waving her hand.
Is my hair okay? Do I have something on my teeth? A stain on my teeth?
Is there something we're missing with these houses? Renting versus buying that you'd like to portray? Harrison did come in today, though, and was like, we need to rent.
I, I, I'm so glad you brought all this up. So I, all I wanted on Valentine's day was to spend time with you and you got me a gift, which was very nice. I didn't love that gift, nor did you like your shoes. Now the difference is the difference is you told me you wanted new balances and you've been mentioning how you needed white shoes. So if that's, and I got you the new balances and,
Well, I... So... I didn't realize that you can publicly look at what everyone pays in property taxes. You can put an address in on a house and it tells you what their historical property taxes have been.
What are ours at this house that we don't own?
What didn't make any sense is... The appraised value of this house is 50% of the appraised value of the house across the street that are listed for the same price. And so I'm looking at that house across the street, which we really like and are getting kind of warm on. And it's. I don't think we need to say the number. It's a lot more in property tax year.
It's public information. How much is the property tax?
It's $30,000 more a month a year in the one across the street than this one.
A month a year. $30,000 more a year.
No, no, $30,000 a year.
More.
More for the house that's coming online.
Well, that house to me is significantly cooler than this house.
But they're both listed at around the same price. Our house is listed too high.
It just is. Sorry. Sorry. I think that we just need to call it.
I just can't believe one, property taxes are so much, and then two, that they're like out there publicly.
I'm with you. I didn't know that. So be honest. How many people's address did you look up today?
The only two I looked up at was this and across the street. The same way I don't Zillow people's homes.
If you send me an address, it's going in the Google. I want to see the outside.
I don't Zillow people's homes. I think it's very invasive.
It's not invasive.
I've never Zillowed a home.
Ever?
I love Zillow. I don't Zillow. Like, I love Zillow. I spend all the time in the world on Zillow. But when I get someone's address, I don't go and put it in and, like, see what it looks like and look at all the information. I don't. I think that's invasive. I think it should be private. And I think in Canada it's private. I think it's very invasive.
I'm not looking at the price or anything. I love to get a pulse on the outside. Like, what did we pick? What did we go pick?
No. I'd love to know. I... I want to put forward a bill that prevents this. The privacy housing act enacted by two parents in a pod.
No, only one parent.
Jules, will you support me on this?
You don't have my vote. No, I'm not. Don't I have voting rights? I'm not voting.
But I have Jules.
Jules is not voting for it, she says. She says she does not agree.
Okay, if only she had a mic.
She's not, Jules is not going to speak today. Okay, so you, I've got you, Jules. I'll just keep talking over here. You hate garages. And I get why you hate garages and you think they're unnecessary. I do and I don't. Does it hail ever here? Doesn't seem that we have hail storms.
I think garages are one of the most underutilized pieces of a house that exists. Especially in a place, in a warm place like Austin.
Now, weather-wise here, I do understand why if we had a place with a garage and we needed more space, we would very quickly convert that to like a gym or something. That I'm with you on.
Yeah. And then if like you ever do need to, you want to have the ability to get the car in there, but I don't know. I think that it's just an incredibly poor use of square footage.
I want to share with you what somebody said. It was a comment on one of my TikToks. And it was about this rule that she called buying a home is like dating. You got to use the 80-10-10 method. 80% you love, 10% you can fix, and the other 10% you learn to live with because there's no such thing as perfect.
Yeah, this hits. I'm all about the 80-10-10.
And do you know what the 10% is that a lot of people were commenting? You can't change location. So like love the location.
Real estate. And I feel like the house that we put the lowball offer in, that was more like a 60-20-20. Wow.
Do you know what, though, I've just realized?
What?
Okay, there was a house we absolutely loved we did not like the location of. We did not make an offer, and we could have afforded it at the price it was listed.
This house, though, we loved the location. We didn't love the house. I think we're a location couple. Did we already know that? There is some action.
I don't think we are just a location couple because I think if we were just a location couple, we would buy for a location and fix it up.
You love this idea of renovating.
This house I saw yesterday was, oh, made my heart melt. So much character on the outside, so much curb appeal, amazing floor plan, but it needed a new everything, new floors, new bathrooms.
And white shoes. But they were canvas. And how would I know?
I just wish you understood that I can do that. I have the ability, but I don't want to right now. We have a baby. Like, we got so much going on.
Yeah, I, like, want to do it. I want to learn.
But you know, if you come to me and say, I love this, I have a good feeling about this, I love this house, I want to try and do it, you know my answer will be yes.
Well, I now love the New Balances. I returned them for some Tate pinks. And I think these are epic.
I appreciate that, but you've made your stance on this all clear.
Wait, wait, wait. I haven't made it clear yet. I actually would like to put this on the record. I'm down to do it. I also love knowing the fact that I have the ability to do it. Like, I understand what they're talking about. This will it'll make a lot of sense to me. It won't be very hard for me. It'll just be I'm telling you, it'll be more expensive.
It's like the guy said at our double date said he said it on Saturday night. And I loved at this point. I've never heard somebody say, whoa, our renovation was easier than I thought it was. It was cheaper than I thought it would be. And oh, my gosh, it took less time than they quoted. And I've also never heard somebody say that. Have you?
It was great. It was specifically the second story, which made me laugh because so often we're like, yeah, and then you just put on the second story. He's like, no. He's like, has anyone ever said a second story comes on faster than you would have thought?
Oh my God, it was cheaper. Or in fact, they quoted us a hundred grand and it was a hundred grand. No, never. So if you want to do that, you tell me where and when and I will do it. The great rewards hunt is on. So join the adventure with DraftKings Casino. For fun seekers, follow the trail to huge jackpots, weekly bonuses, and exclusive games.
Yeah. I had to tell Tate you didn't like the... I let her look at the computer screen. Wherever she slapped her hand were the ones I bought. So she picked those shoes. Because she likes red. Because she can see pink and red.
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Eastern Time. If you want to do invites with them tonight, walk the invites around. I'd like to get invites out. Can I please tell the people what we're talking about? So we're going to answer that here, right?
I'd actually kind of love to... We can even talk to this real time. So are we thinking block party Friday or Saturday?
So we have a text from the neighbor that says, okay, what's the plan for the block party? He wants to know, are we confirmed for Friday or Saturday? Second question, do you want to do a crawfish boil? One of my buddies from Houston will be staying with us, and he is the crawfish master and is willing to bring all the craw... Like, yes.
Have you ever done a crawfish boil? That's a ridiculous question.
So yeah, I love crawfishes. We love... Have you done a crawfish broil?
No, but I love it. I don't know what it is. I love it.
Harrison's never done one. Okay, I've done three. I love a crawfish broil.
Okay, but that's different than the block party night, right?
No, no. It is the block party night. Crawfish block party. All one thing.
And then do we want to do the rodeo before or after? Because we're doing rodeo one night and block party one night. So what night do we want to do rodeo? What night do we want to do crawfish?
Let's do the block party Friday the 28th.
Okay, but can we confirm the double whammy? Because Alex and Laura are going to come in for this.
I had a very nice birthday. I'm not a big birthday person. I'm not a big gift person. Thank you very much.
Great.
The real Alex, not the just Alex.
Friday the 28th, let's take invites tonight, or do we need to do tomorrow? Okay, T-O-M.
And what does the block party consist of?
Everyone around here, we're going to take paper invites.
And is it going to be at someone's house?
It's going to be on the block.
OK, I don't really understand, but I love it.
I'm so excited. He's on this, too. Like he likes his block party. Oh, I can't wait. OK, crawfish.
I think it's like his last pitch, his last pitch for us to stay in the neighborhood.
Yeah, he's really funny. He keeps texting. No pressure.
But it is going to be like a very annoying piece of that block party with everything. So see the for sale sign in your house.
Okay let's go.
No, but if we're going by your school of thought, you should have just kept the shoes, right?
But like the neighbor said, he's going to steal a pending offer sign and put it on top. No, he's not. Okay, let's go to things we DM'd each other. So you... No. You're going to tell me what you DM'd me. I always... I'm trying not to talk as much.
So I DM'd a video to you... which was some podcast interview where a guy talked about the benefits of drinking versus isolation and how isolation is the equivalent of six drinks, which I don't really understand. Let's actually watch this so that way I can get it right.
As I said, no. So I got to now defend myself because you're not letting me up. When did I communicate that the gifts didn't work for me?
Oh, what? isolation full isolation is the same as six alcoholic beverages a day that is how bad it is for us to be isolated so essentially just a clip saying talking about the cons of isolation and likening it to the negative effects of alcohol do you want me to go do you want to go you go what what i need a source because that's a there's not a
I'm sure if you went to the full episode, there is.
And the thematic that I like behind it is I feel like there's this massive anti-alcohol movement. And I understand a lot of what they're talking about in this anti-alcohol movement. But I feel like what gets lost in a lot of that rhetoric is the benefits to health that come from community and fun. And... Sorry. Sorry.
Ready?
No, keep going.
Well, there was a sigh, so I kind of lost my train of thought. What were you going to say?
I'm so sorry that I did that. I hate when people lose their train of thought. I'm thinking along with you. I'm live thinking.
And, well.
Sorry. Because here's the thing. I guess I'll just try to help you here with some of my thoughts initially as you're talking. It just brings into the question, do you have to have alcohol to have fun? That's just the blanket start here. You're saying yes.
You waited a day.
Yes. So not immediately after purchasing, not immediately after opening. So I let some and I was like, hey, thank you so much. But I actually blamed it on the size.
No, I'm saying that in the periods of time that I've cold turkey cut alcohol, I found that while there does seem to be some near-term benefits, inevitably I get really bored and I do see that I tend to isolate myself.
And so like it, to me, it's kind of like finding like where I'm at right now is finding the balance, finding the healthy relationship with alcohol where, you know, I can incorporate it into my life when, you know, I want to have fun and, and, and I can still have fun without it, but it makes a lot of events more fun.
So you're, you're an example of somebody who can drink and function. Right. Like you can go out, have four drinks the next day, pop up and like you're good to go. But for some people, alcohol does have a more negative than positive effect. For you, it's a proper additive. But like that is not everyone's experience.
For sure. I get how different everyone is on the subject. Like, don't get me wrong. To me, it's like I guess what immediately. Look, what immediately comes to mind here is just like, oh, it's it's actually I feel like I'm totally missing the mark. When I saw that clip, it was the longevity people that popped into my head. Okay.
Here we go.
And it was the longevity people who are just like on this rant of stop drinking at all costs. And I feel like what is underappreciated is... With society where it is today, I've personally found when I stop drinking cold turkey, it pushes me into isolation. And I'm a lot less social. And I get a lot of people can have a lot of fun without booze.
But I personally, and I know a lot of my friends, booze makes a lot of events more fun. And, and so I think it's just like, it's nice to have the check mark on, Hey, like there is a time and a place for alcohol.
And then we went to New Balance and I was like, can he get a 10 because the 10 and a half are too big? And he's like, no, the 10 and a half are perfect. And I was like, what?
Yeah. Well, and I also think, you know, the longevity people, et cetera, like isolation isn't good for you. It's not good for your mental health. Not working out is not good for you. You know, you need to get your heart rate up. Like there's a bunch of different things that, I think that the health industry in general got very one size fits all.
And it's like these blanket statements don't apply to everybody. So like do have, like have the autonomy over your own health to say, I can have three glasses of wine and be completely fine. And I don't isolate. I go to dinner. Like that's what fits for me. Or.
Yeah. And there's actually benefits to it. Totally. You are social. You look at these blue zones and like one big part of blue zones is the community. And I, community component. And I think like, the way American society has been built is very alcohol centric. And, and to neglect that, while it has a lot of benefits, it also does have consequences.
All right welcome to Two Parents and a podcast. What a weird intro.
And it just feels like I've, and maybe this is just like the personal bias. And I've just like seen so much anti alcohol stuff over the past, like 12 to 18 months. It's kind of just like, huh, like, I get it.
What's the blue zone?
Blue zones are areas in the world where people live to very old ages. It's like where people live till 90 or 100 years old.
And now tell me again what you see in the Blue Zones? Because I don't know what you're talking about.
I just we need to get we need to get the gifts right. We will get them right. Did I talk about what was proposed in the DMs for us to do on gift giving?
A sense of community. So when you look at the commonality of all these places, there's commonalities of the types of food that they eat. So that's where the Blue Zone diet comes. But one of the other... there's commonalities and roles and responsibilities.
So people keep working through, uh, and contributing to society through very late and having a deep sense of community is, is a big part of, of blue zones.
Okay. I think that's really cool. Blue zones and people live in, where do people live the longest in the world? Yeah. I wonder if there's any correlation to no technology, no processed foods. Like I would wonder that.
Well, processed foods is part of, is part of it and diet.
So they're like hunter-gatherers still.
Yeah, but I mean, the challenge is, as time goes by, these, I'd say, a lot of negative effects, I think, are starting to hit these places.
Where do people live the longest? Hong Kong, Japan, South Korea, and French Polynesia.
The five original blue zones are Okinawa, Japan, Sardinia, Italy... Costa Rica, Icaro, Greece, and Loma Linda, California.
That's pretty crazy.
In Loma Linda, California, people live on average 10 years longer than the average American due to plant-based diet, regular exercise, and strong faith-based community.
Common lifestyle factors and blue zones. Plant-based diet, low-density physical activity, strong social connections, sense of purpose, stress reduction, moderate calorie intake, faith and spirituality. Wow.
Is it gift locker?
I kind of got to push back on that plant-based diet. I don't know. I feel like that could be Chippy T guiding us wrong. I feel like these places eat a lot of meat. A lot of fish, I would think. Yeah. A ton of fish. That feels like a wrong take.
No. So it's amazing. So I buy my gift for myself. You buy your gift for yourself. And then I open your gift. And it's a surprise to me what I bought you. And then you open my gift. And it's a surprise to you what you got me.
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M-E-U-N-D-I-E-S. MeUndies.com slash Alex. MeUndies. Comfort from the outside in. That was a very interesting DM. I mean, it's something to think about.
Not DM. Oh, yeah, DM. Sorry.
Yeah, yeah. So what I DM'd you was a skit of a guy impersonating his wife whenever he is sick and saying all couples are the same. And so the husband's sick and the wife's like, you're not that sick. How do you really feel? You were at work yesterday. I know you can be productive. And it reminds me of when you had a concussion.
My head is pounding.
I would wake up every day and you would just be like, do your concussions still hurt? How bad? How bad? Because you watched a show last night. You're not allowed to watch a show when you have a concussion.
No, the one that got me was you had the energy to go to Benson Boone. And if we're down, we're down. You get this Benson Boone invite and Harrison's like, I feel better.
When I saw that, that video, that thing you sent, I like thought they had, well, it just shows like all relationships are the same. Cause I thought they had a video camera in our house. Four of the five interactions were identical.
Oh, yeah. What was the one he was impersonating her? Oh, and she was like, don't be mean to me. And I literally like will be like, don't be mean. And you're like, no one's being me.
What?
Like you're being mean to me. And you're like, I'm literally joking. But I think that it's I actually like that they make those videos because it did. It made me feel less alone. I was like, oh, good.
I actually love that because I, I love that because I don't really care like about opening. Like I don't need you to have gotten it for me. I just care about a surprise of who got somebody getting something.
Yeah, it was spot on. And I think there was one that was like, yeah, whatever. So good. So good.
Yeah, they're good. I saw this other one where this girl was making a video saying, I can't believe he just can't put his toothbrush away. I keep telling him not to leave stuff out on the counter. And so she puts his toothbrush in the drawer and then at the very end she pans like over to her side and cuts it. And her side is just all this skin care routine out on the counter.
But like it's organized to her. And I just knew you'd like that one. But he has his toothbrush out.
Yes. I'm going to. Yeah, we're going to put up a picture of our bathroom after this.
Well, because we're showing the house, it's pretty clean. Yes. Well, when we get back from Aspen. Yeah. No, I think I'm going to keep it clean, like through through the finish line. It is funny when you clean everything off and put it all away. You do realize what you do and don't need. Yeah, pretty simple.
All right, let's move on because we've got two listener questions, both of which I really like. Now, the first one is a write-in that somebody messaged me about. And they were talking about how we, they say, you seem to be having so much fun parenting and have a lot of joy in parenting.
But how do you do that and manage all these milestones and all these things that we're supposed to be doing, all this structure we're supposed to be following, the naps, the baby-led weaning, transitioning out of her SNU?
traveling with her how do you do all that and I thought we get a lot of questions about our schedule you and I what's her nap schedule a lot of people ask me how do you take her out to dinner so I would like to preface this by saying we're going to experience share and talk about what we do and it works for us because you said it the other day Harrison like you said to me on the phone you're like we did a really good job of her fitting into our life not us rearranging our life for her
And so exactly. So your surprise is my gift. My surprise is your gift.
And I think it goes to two, like she's been to 12 cities and her snoo.
What do you think has been the key to us finding joy in parenting?
I'm just going to be completely honest. A lot of my joy has come from doing it with you because I think I let things overwhelm me and you don't. So I... a lot of the joy comes from, I don't know. We've made it fun. Maybe you can articulate that better though. That's very nice. Thank you. You truly have. Like, I think I would be very regimented and with you, it's,
Do you want to try one? I did last week.
And that's, that's actually very fun. Like I just as I can't wait for you to open and see what I got myself. Vice versa. Can't wait.
Yeah, I think when we came into it, like you just get thrown all of these rules and schedules that you need to follow. And our approach has very much been like read her and read what she needs and incorporate those necessities into your life. but also recognize babies. A lot of different things work for different babies.
And, um, and so we found the program that works for us and that allows us to, you know, still live a life on the go and that's social. So, um, I think if we like when, and like, you know, she doesn't, I feel so, and I get stuff will change.
Of course.
And the first six months is obviously, or I feel like people say it's easier than the next six months. But I just feel like we haven't had our lives revolve around some like fixed arbitrary schedule. And I think that that's, we've revolved our lives around us reading what she needs and giving her that and then keeping everything else moving forward. Did that hit?
Thank you. Comment.
Yeah, that makes sense. And I also think like, With the reading of the cues, there's a lot of information thrown at you, you know, and there's a lot of different ways to skin the onion, right? Like there's seven different nap schedules she could be on. There's baby led weaning or not start. There's so many different options. And one thing that I love that you've really challenged us to do is like,
Wow.
Where do we go from here?
I when people give me advice or something, I very much so I didn't used to have this ability, but I'll just say like, will that work for me or not? Do I really care? And right now her nap schedules like it's really cute because she doesn't love a long nappy. Maria is always like, I don't know. She will not sleep more than 20 minutes. And like she just won't.
Let's talk about the double date that we went on this week.
Instead of spending all this time trying to get her to nap longer. She functions great throughout the day. She sleeps great at night. And so it's like, okay, we don't have, we don't have 45 minute to an hour naps. We're not even trending in that direction. That's no, it's no problem though. Like it, there's no problem with that.
Okay, I'd love to do that.
Yeah. I guess like to build up what you're saying, like, I think one of the challenges is like every most, a lot of the parents we talked to, like, you know, swear by the process that they're following. And that's great for them. That's awesome for them. And we've just decided,
So we went on like a fly double date because there's this couple that live in our neighborhood. So obviously we have the neighbors. And then there's another couple that has a baby that's three months old. And you got to ask yourself, guys, why would you move? And we're asking ourselves that. Okay? Like every day we're asking ourselves why would we move?
to listen to a lot of people, learn from a lot of their experiences, and then adjust it for what works best for you and I. while also making sure her needs are, are taken care of. And I think that nap is a great example. Like we don't let her napping schedule stress us out. She naps when she naps, she goes to sleep when she goes to sleep.
It doesn't matter where that is because she's shown that she can nap wherever and she doesn't nap for very long, but she's also a beautiful engaged baby. And I'm sure I'll make a lot of mistakes and I'm sure we'll learn and we'll improve things. But yeah, that's here we are. I think like maybe we haven't taken, I think it's like almost a long winded way of saying like, we just haven't,
we've tried not to take it all too seriously.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's actually just gone into it with a mindset of like, let's have this chapter and journey be really, really fun.
But granted, like we don't have a colicky baby, you know, and we're, we're really lucky for that because you don't ever know. And so with the way she is, we've been able to do it this way. I also think like what we've learned recently, she used to love going to restaurants. She doesn't like it anymore. Hates it. It's too loud. She, she does not want to be in a restaurant.
She does want to be on a walk. But now she wants to be sitting up on her walk, not laying down.
Yeah, and I think that's one of the things that surprised me most is how communicative she is about what she likes and what she doesn't like at such a young age. Yeah.
She'll cry. She'll just start to fuss if she doesn't like it. And then you just, okay, up. She wants to be seeing things though right now. She's really curious. And I know like obviously a lot of babies are curious.
But like an outdoor lunch place.
Fine.
That's noise controlled. Thrives. Smiles, laughs.
She likes to eat her meals at home. And the one constant we do have. We're drinking our milky on the dot every three hours.
Yeah. If not a little earlier.
Yeah. If not every, every two and a half hours. So I, yeah, I think, I think what you said in summary was we challenge a lot of things too. Like if, if some, we, I know that's not even it. I think we read a lot of different options because just because like mom's on call, for example, is one great book, but there's some parts of it where I'm like, that's awesome.
What'd you do?
I'm not going to be able to follow that. That's just not conducive to our life. Harrison and I, we love to rip a target run at 7 p.m. out of the blue. And it's like, that can't be nap time. We got to take that one in the car because like we're going and she loves it. You know, like you and I, we can't for the life of us make a schedule and follow it because we love to go and do things.
Yeah. I hope this doesn't come up as braggy because obviously there's a lot of tough times. But I am proud of how we found the right balance of the day to day with her. And we haven't – she didn't come and our lives didn't stop. She came and we kept things moving.
But you can't think that everything's irreplaceable. So it's tough. But... Basically went on this double date. And while we were there, we started talking about these babies going to college. And the couple we were with was very much like, we want our kids to go to college. And it was really funny because Harrison and I were both like, oh, we don't really care as long as she has a plan.
Pumping was like a big rift for me though. Like that was where I felt like the world got a bit shaken up.
Well, I mean – I saw how hard that was on you.
A lot better now but like there was that part of it. And then I do think we had to learn her cues and adjust.
Yeah.
And we'll keep you guys posted on it as that comes. Okay, so this next question is a listener voice submission, and it's about long-distance relationships, which Julie calls LDR. Which reminds me of TLDR. Too long, didn't read. But LDR in this case is long-distance relationship.
Feedback was very good.
and yeah any encouragement advice if you think it's worth it obviously you do you have a wonderful life but yeah i would just love to hear what you guys have to say what harrison and i did in our i don't even know how you could possibly call it long distance because while you lived in new york and i lived in la like the second we met we just started going back and forth together we did not like being apart i still till this day do not like being apart from you
Yeah, I think that having done long distance relationships that didn't work, I realized the reason why they didn't, in my experience, they didn't work because we didn't want to prioritize the other person. And when it came to you, we just didn't let distance become a problem.
We also had the flexibility in our jobs.
Yes, but every free waking moment, we did everything we could to spend time together and we prioritize one another. And then we came up with a very quick game plan on how to bridge on how to, on how to stop the long distance.
Yeah, so that's my advice to her because 22 is young, right?
Oh, I didn't realize she was 22.
Yeah, she's 22. So what I would say is find a way to get to the same place as soon as possible because when you're in a long-distance relationship, half of your brain is always somewhere else. So you're never fully present, and you want to be with the person that you're dating. So then when you get to the same location, you quickly learn, like, am I going to be with this person forever or not?
And I thought that was a very fascinating conversation. Additionally, I loved that couple. Additionally, what I'd like to talk about further with you is when it comes to double dates, you and the guy paired off and me and her paired off.
And I think it's a really good way to stop wasting time. I'm not really for long distance relationships looking back on it because I've done two if we're calling you one. I don't even call ours long distance. We were like, we're not doing this. We're going together.
Yeah. When I look at my three long distance relationships, the two that didn't work was because there wasn't an end date in sight. And without an end date in sight, I think it's really hard. it's really hard to make it happen. And I think if it matters to you and it matters to both of you, one of the two can, generally speaking, always make sure there's an end date to the long distance.
What would you tell Tate if she was 22 years old just out of college and said,
It's very funny because me and my dad had a massive argument around the same age because I was going to not go on exchange because of a girlfriend at the time. And he was just like, you were way too young to be making a major life sacrifice for another person. And... one thing my parents were always like, they were always encouraging of gaining life experience outside of relationships.
Did you say, did you welcome us?
So I think a lot of parents are like, you know, very focused on,
following a timeline and and one of the things i that i love about how my parents raised me is like they were very encouraging uh my sister and i going out there and just gaining general life experience and that way when we did meet the right person we had enough history with other people and in other cities and other parts of the world that we could dive into it with
with conviction and know what we want and know what we didn't want. And so at 22, I would tell her you've got way too much life left to live and it may feel like true love now, but, uh, I think you're likely too young to make that decision. And, and if it's meant to be, then it'll, it will be, but go, go do you. That would be my advice.
This is what I wanted to talk about, not the college thing.
And so I'm sure that the listeners wondering what I'm wondering, did you go on exchange? Where'd you go?
Amsterdam.
Oh my God. How long were you in Amsterdam for? I guess I did know you went to Amsterdam, but I didn't know it was on exchange.
Okay, I knew you wanted to talk about this. You like segueing off. I like group combos. I like the group combo.
Yeah.
So what was it? A semester?
Yeah. Semester.
Do you guys call it semesters in Canada? Semester?
No, we call them terms. Two terms. Term one, term two.
In a year.
I think so.
Okay. So what I like about this, actually, I would like to stay here for a moment is, okay, so let's say Tate did have a boyfriend at 22 and she was thinking about going to take a job in Spain or stay, you know, in Austin because he's here. Totally. Totally.
Additionally, I like what you said about the timeline because what you were referring to, but I don't think you really dug into, was traditionally speaking, I guess, it's a little young even though you're saying your parents could have been like, yes, have the girlfriend, marry her. I'm going to cough again.
Have the kids, but instead they were like, no, go out there, spread your wings, get the experience. I think that's actually a really cool thing. I like that. Don't go. Go see that.
We're going to do some feedback right now. The challenge I have with group combo is you don't let me talk. And that was the light bulb that went off in my head when I saw the itinerary for today and when Double Date was on there. She kept asking questions and you just kept replying. And so I was like, all right, I have one of two options.
Yeah. My parents really nailed this mindset of we don't need someone else to be happy and finding happiness and confidence in ourselves versus being dependent on other people for it.
Are you going to be nice to Tate's boyfriends? Do you want me to talk about that? Probably not.
I don't know. I don't know what my approach here is going to be. I think that the parents that I saw that were super harsh, in any aspect, it feels like their kids went the other way. And so I think like most things, like the college thing, I want to preach openness and I want to preach trust. Preach isn't the right word. Teach. Yeah. Yeah.
I want to, I want us to have an atmosphere in the house of openness. I think if, if it's like, you can't do X, you can't do Y. I think that kids tend to overshoot. Uh, but who knows in reality how that shakes out?
Yeah, because we had the whole spider ordeal.
Well, I think actually this is like you said earlier, the one thing I love that you talked about with how we, we handle her now is reading her cues. I do think that there are some kids for instance, that need to, that need hard lines. And they, they can operate in that type of structure, but I think it's very much so going to read. It's like a coach reading his athletes.
Some athletes operate better if they have like praise, whereas some athletes operate better if they have like tough love.
And I think, I think we're going to have to just tow that line as we do it. Balance that beam. Um, okay. So our brain break today was suggested by Harrison, which is the best and the worst purchases that we've made for Tate up until six months.
And what is yours?
My best purchase is the Fisher-Price piano. That little girl loves to dance. We call them zoomies. She has her zoomies on her piano and they sing together. What's your best?
The snoo has been a lifesaver. The SNU is a great one. The SNU has just, to remove the challenges of sleep, and maybe I'm giving too much credit to the SNU, but to have a tool that helped us with that, lifesaver. I think, obviously, the carrying pouches have been loved them.
You're a, yeah. I don't use them. And I know a lot of like girls do, but I'm not a pouch girl, but you're a pouch boy.
I use my pouch every day. And then the one like dumb Amazon purchase that you don't need, but for whatever reason I love is the warm wipes.
Target. Wipe warmer.
Those wipe warmers. I just like, I feel good when I wipe her butt and it's warm. Yeah, I got one more for you. I feel like I'm like giving her a spa treatment.
Yeah, you do feel like she's at this four season spa. You love, and I love that pink fuzzy with the bare ears.
Pink fuzz with a bear is money.
We've used it so much.
And what about the things you bought in the first six months that we've used the least?
Well, we bought that like tummy time vibrator thing.
Used it twice.
That mimics, you know, I mean, she looks like she's flying through the air on it. Yeah, but that was a dumb purchase that we'll never use again. What about you?
I think that we rarely use that Baby Bjorn thing.
She doesn't like the bouncer.
That she sits in. That I feel like the two things that most parents love that I feel like haven't hit are the Baby Bjorn city thing, the bouncer, and that little tube bed thing.
Oh, the Dock Tot.
The Dock Tot. She hates that Dock Tot.
She does not like the Dock Tot. Some babies love it. Yeah, she's not a Dock Tot girl. That's very true. Yeah. I think that's a good little exercise. I liked that. I enjoyed that. Also, I know you love our Bugaboo stroller, and then we got the smaller one. I don't know what's going on with the stroller.
I think the stroller has been, obviously love the Duna, but the actual walking stroller has been a nothing burger. Yeah.
Like we have not nailed it.
You could use it. I think you could just use anything for that.
Completely agree. We rented that one. I don't even remember what it was in Newport. I loved that.
Yeah.
Like, yeah. So I don't know. We got some more stroller work to be done.
All right. Anything else?
No, just we're going to Aspen. And so we're going for a wedding, which I'm very excited about. Although it's like hot here and very cold there. So I got to transition my mindset and my outfits. Some of my dresses arrive tomorrow. Very excited. And so next week we'll update you guys on How Aspen was. But that's it. Call in. We'll post on the stories.
I can just kind of either sit here and let Alex speak on my behalf or I can just peel off with The other with the gentleman who was a very nice gentleman. And we just had a great combo. And I noticed it. And I noticed it as a trend. And the biggest one was that. Yeah, I think my point's been made.
I'll post on my story for you guys to call in and leave voice notes, voicemails, or write them in. And that's all. Ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for listening.
Thanks for listening to another episode of Two Parents in a Podcast, powered by Just Media House. If you enjoyed the show, don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, rate, and review. Stay connected on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and Facebook at 2ParentsInAPod. Welcome to our home. Sorry it's so messy. New episodes every Thursday.
That's very true. Well, this week we have something even more fun than a spider.
Okay, number one, I think a lot of couples deal with this. Number two, I feel I'm afraid of awkward silences. So I start to talk preemptively. You're a big pauser.
We have two talkers. We have two talkers.
You mean your talker?
I think at one point she's like, Harrison, you're from Canada, right? You're like, yeah, he's from Vancouver. I'm like, I can't even get my city.
And what do you do? Okay, so he starts brands. I noticed yesterday when the neighbors were over for Tate's first birthday, they ask us, not first, sorry, for Tate's half birthday, they ask us a question about the house. You raised your hand. And then I said, yeah. And he's like, can I take this one?
Is that our pod covers? That's a big development.
Well, especially like the housing situation, which is like where I'm fully taking the lead. They ask you about the housing update and you're just like telling them all this information, which like a lot of it was completely incorrect. Yeah.
Oh, we do. We have podcast covers. They're called mic covers.
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um i what i wanted to talk about at the beginning was and i'm so happy a point for alex harrison didn't like either of his birthday gifts oh i thought we were going to talk about how julie is a mic this week julie does have a mic say hi jules this is jules like nightmare
Okay, I guess since we're going to do this, like you're a little slower to kill the subject.
You say land the plane to me all the time. Land the plane.
I'm always like, land the plane. I just like to deliver the news, the facts very quickly to people.
And love to hear your own voice.
I gotta admit, like, I do love to talk, I guess. I just need to realize that. I've always known that. Do you know what I wanted to be when I was little?
An actress, a musician.
No, what? No.
I have no idea.
I always wanted to be a news anchor.
I knew that.
Because I love, it's why I like reading the ads. I love to like articulate things. But the only thing I didn't like about, I love words. Like I love talking. I love talking. But I love public speaking. But whenever I was, lost my train of thought. No way. I wanted to be a news.
Oh, the only thing I didn't like whenever I did my internship at News 9, which is the news station in Oklahoma City, I didn't like that they wrote the scripts for you. You're reading off of a prompter. I like the ability to also compile the sentences in a way that people like to hear them.
And how does that go with your ad reads? So when you do a brand deal and let's say they give you a script. One, do they give you a script and do you follow that script or do they just give you talking points? And how much do you stray from it and make it your own versus how much do you follow what they say?
I would say, okay, so no brand deal on social media has ever given me a script. They're very much so like, let the creator do their thing, which I'm glad. Okay.
Now podcast wise, I would say there's, I can think of two brands right now that have given me a script and most of them, there's like legal jargon involved with it. That's where you have to read a script. But like all of our ads today, I get to talk about my experience with them. And then the call to action, the CTA, I do read. That's why you see me with my phone.
Sometimes I don't want to mess up the CTA. Okay.
Yeah, my impression is that if a brand gave you a script, it would go very poorly. But if a brand just gives you the directive and lets you rip it and make it yours, then that's what would crush the best.
Yeah, totally agree. Yeah, I agree. Okay, I'm really sorry that I don't let... Like, I will try to... I'm afraid of awkward silences. That's my problem. I'm afraid of awkward silences. That's why I start asking people so many questions. I want to know about them. I love to learn about people.
And I also... Yeah, I don't want it to overshadow from, like, you are an amazing... Like, you are the most fun both date and double date in the world. I just have noticed, like, that...
Do you know I want to work on this? I would like to work on this. And I'm going to start with the neighbors. They're easy because they're the easiest people on the planet to talk to. So I'm going to start having some healthy pauses. Bite my tongue, quite literally. Okay? I'm excited. Love it. All right. So our little baby girl, speaking of her being six months, we tried solid foods.
Julie will talk because sometimes we think we asked Jules these questions and then she answers and we have to repeat her answer into the microphone. So if there's something like Harrison was going to do a little bit of reading before the pod, but he didn't get to it. And he said, cramming for a test isn't good. Cramming isn't studying.
And so it's interesting with all of these milestones, right? Like we had to learn – I thought we were going to chop up some carrots. She was going to chew them. And then slowly when I started reading it, she didn't have teeth. Okay, we're going to do baby lead weaning. We've got to mash it up. And then half the kids, they spit out the food or they swallow it. She loved it.
Yeah, but I was very like wrong with – I mean, we've been wrong with a lot on this. I thought that when we give them food, there'd be a lot more consuming than occurred. So while she definitely loved it, and I think on the scale of loving it versus not loving it was on the far end of loving it scale. I was shocked in the very limited reading I did before we actually gave her the food.
Yeah, just like how... I thought they'd be, I just feel like an idiot saying this. I just feel like they would have been a little more advanced.
But that's what's so crazy about it. Like she's only ever had milky.
Yeah.
And so the point of giving her this.
And toilet paper.
And toilet paper. And some plastic lately. I'm just kidding. I'm not kidding. You're kidding. She didn't chew it. She was like licking it. It was the whole thing. But I think that it's quite... You give them the food to get them used to another texture. Like, that is the sweetest little thing on the planet.
Yeah, she was so good at it.
And the reason we started with sweet potato was we didn't want to give her something super sweet like a fruit. And then her think everything was just going to be sweet forever.
Yeah, sweet potato also is... I mean, sweet potato is more sweet than other options like broccoli and avocado. But it felt like it was a really common one that came up. And I also liked it because... You ate so much sweet potato over your pregnancy. I thought that was like a nice.
I had it for lunch today.
Little time.
I love sweet potatoes. So the solids went well.
Yeah.
And then the other thing that we have to update everybody on is my pumping milk journey. Okay. Okay. So my goal was six months. And I made it to the six months. And now where we're at is I'm going to keep going. And we have a goal though. So sometimes when we go out to dinner, I'll come home and pump at the three-hour mark.
So there's that. Yes.
So during South by Southwest, for example, we would go to dinner, come home, I would pump, and then we would go to an event. And that's just – that mentally I don't love. So our new rule is like if we're gone, like we have a wedding this weekend in Aspen. If we're out, like we'll give her formula.
And I think our question we're gonna have to ask ourselves is like is it worth living in this area so we can still walk to the nanny share or if we find a house do we move? And time will tell because we're we have like three weeks left. Are we are we good to start?
because i'm not coming home we're not making pumping exhausting um i just can i am at the mental state now where i can keep handling it should that change no problem we'll either combo feed um i'll start to wean off we'll see how that feels but for now i'm gonna actually keep coasting so i'll keep you updated what well i'm here to support you thank you thank you and the only thing too that i gotta say is
You don't like your birthday gifts. You don't like either of your birthday gifts. Do you know what that is?
I get to now reorder. Do you remember those lactation cookies I had? The milk cookies?
Those yellow ones that I was obsessed with.
You ate them because they were so good.
You get a package and you get two in there. They truly made my milk supply better. And they were so good. And when you're pumping or breastfeeding, you're so hungry. And these just like, boom, hit the craving. So I am actually excited that I get to keep having those. But please don't take any of them. Let me have them.
No. Not a chance. Another thing. So six months of Tate.
Please share.
Yeah.
Guess how many cities Tate has been to in her first six months of life.
That's the pot calling the kettle black, sir.
I think seven.
12 what she has slept in 12 different cities i guess 13 including austin okay new york i i wrote them out just to keep this a little more clean but oops i'm in the wrong page oops can't find it this is not me pausing this is me looking
I'll order my miracle milk cookies while we do this.
I got it. Okay. So New York, Oklahoma City, Vancouver, Whistler, LA, Maui, Deer Valley, Fredericksburg, Tulsa, Dallas, San Antonio, Newport, and then 13th would be Austin. And those are all separate places that she, separate cities that she has slept in.
And why are we talking about this?
Yeah.
As long as we talk about it through the lens of sharing your experience and being very clear to the fact that we are not experts on the subject matter.
Yeah, I call her Bubbers now.
Maybe.
I think my take on this from the guy's perspective is like as much of a view – as you may come into the situation with or may have come into the situation with, when I looked at the toll that breastfeeding has taken on you over the past five months, it's just really not the guy's place anymore. on this one.
I think that it's a really nice routine that we've got into. Regardless of the craziness we're dealing with during the day, that we still make time to go and do this activity together. And it's like if we do nothing else together that day, at least we got a workout in and at least we walked away from it feeling good.
100%.
I thought... I didn't realize, like many things in this, just what a toll it would be. And so it just kind of felt like a...
I like truly, truly thought it was gone.
Give the mom, you know, the mom has the information in front of her and she makes her call and like you shut the fuck up and you support her because, you know, as they say, they're saying happy mom, happy baby.
We talked about milk jail on the pod before and like I feel for you and I'm proud of you.
And I will be proud of you no matter what decision you make moving forward.
And we may not be getting as many date nights as we would like, but we're finding other activities to get in the mix. Yeah. I was just trying to give us some love and some grace, and it feels like it just kind of got shot down.
And, and so when it comes to baby too, do you think you will breastfeed again?
So... Yeah, I don't know. Like... It'll be really interesting to see if you can go six months again without combo feeding.
No, no, no, no. I said, we may not get as many date nights as we used to, but we're finding other little activities.
You love the demer. Or you hate the demer.
It's going to be your first merch drop, demer.
Yeah. The whole thing is pretty mind-blowing. Yeah.
Yeah.
Whose idea that was? Whose? Haley's.
She thought it would. It was actually Haley and my mom's. They were just like, it should probably come from you if you can kind of convey it in the right way.
I'd never heard of it. Really good.
So that's why we kind of danced around it a little bit. It was a suggestion.
No, the way I presented it to you.
I think that there- Shout out Haley and mom for the suggestion because I didn't know.
I didn't know you couldn't do that, so.
They said – Don't you have the line that like behind every pregnant – behind every new mom, they're dealing with something?
Yeah, I'd love to do that Saturday.
Yeah, absolutely.
Of course. Isn't that a crazy question?
It's a ridiculous question.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah.
I think it's a perfect foray into my big announcement.
I thought Friday did too.
Look at that.
Check the box.
um yeah so this is probably one area where i've done i've taken the lead on on research and i was really surprised when we asked our pediatrician about this i felt like we got a really softball answer and we like haven't found a person uh or like yeah we our pediatrician we can't really we couldn't really get much out of them there's like any formula and it was like oh you gotta have a preference
And so what I did is I went to ChatGBT and I asked ChatGBT, I said, I said, what would be your perfect infant formula? And should I read what it spewed out?
Very interesting. So. I'm just, okay. If I were to create the perfect, here's what I asked it. I said, if you can make the perfect baby formula to optimize for baby's health, what would it be? And how would it differ from the top line ingredient from the top line baby formulas on the market? What would you include? What wouldn't you include? And what would you substitute?
Please answer in a direct and easy to understand way.
And I told her, I said, I will read this on a podcast. Please use no filter or bias. Okay. Oh, good. Okay. Yeah. So here's what it said. If I were to create a perfect baby formula optimized for baby's health, I'd focus on mimicking breast milk as closely as possible while eliminating any unnecessary, potentially harmful ingredients found in most commercial formulas. Here is what I would do.
So the base ingredients, it said goat milk is the protein base and A2 beta casein protein. For healthy fats, it said it would use avocado oil and olive oil instead of vegetable oils. And this is a really interesting one because all the formulas that I've seen on the market do use vegetable oils, and I know that that's something that's pretty hotly debated.
It said it would use coconut oil for MCTs. It said it would use grass-fed ghee. For carbohydrates, it clarified no cheap fillers, and it would use lactose as the primary carbohydrate. The essential additions were DHA and ARA from algae. I'm sure I'm going to butcher this. Choline and phospholipids, which support brain function and development and are often missing or low amounts in formulas.
It said it would add prebiotics and probiotics. So HMOs and strains like B. infantis to support gut health. And it said most formulas either leave these out or use synthetic versions.
HMOs, which are human milk oligosaccharides. Oh my goodness, that's hard to say. And strains like B. infantis.
They support gut health.
It's like Olipop for babies.
Or use synthetic versions. It said colostrum to support immune health and gut integrity and development. And it said grass-fed whey protein. Now, here is what it would... So that's everything it would add. Okay.
So when I asked ChatGPT what it would remove from most formulas, they said no emulsifiers. So that's things like soy lecithin and carrageenan. And these can disrupt gut health and cause inflammation. And it's crazy because these are things that we use in some of our food brands. Totally. And so it's like we see the effects on adults. And so you see how those can have effects on little babies.
Said no palm oil because it can block calcium absorption and lead to harder stools. Says no synthetic vitamins or poor absorption. Says no GMOs or pesticide contaminated ingredients and no vegetable oils.
Yeah. So it was question one, what's the ideal formula? Question two, what formula on the market best reflects this?
Well, interestingly, it said that there's no commercially available formula that reflects exactly what they would do, which I think just speaks to how hard it is to get... uh, infant formulas approved. Um, because like, you know, the FDA, they require a ton of clinical studies and testing to really show that, um, that these formulas are, are safe for babies.
And like, there's kind of a double-edged sword, right? Because obviously you want um, our babies to be drinking things that are safe, but you also want them to be consuming, you know, the, the ingredients that, that are best for them. And as we've learned over time, certain ingredients are better and, and, and others and others aren't.
I officially retire and get f***ed.
And I like truly, truly thought it was, it was gone.
Um, so then I asked it, all right, like, well, what would you, what would you suggest? And, um, it's number one suggestion was Jovi.
It was Jovi goat milk. And that is, is what I ordered. And then I asked it to, um, to give me its top five, all top five, all those five were also European. Um, I think the biggest driver of that was because of, of goat milk. Um, but like not very convenient to just be like spewing this European stuff, but obviously semi noteworthy that, um,
I thought someone jacked it.
Clearly, there's something that ChatGPT is seeing that has a preference for the European ones over the American ones. So then I asked it, what are the American ones it would suggest? And it suggested By Heart and Bobby.
Yeah, that's Dutch.
You can get them here. I just I'm not like the whole thing is pretty confusing. I don't think like Jovi, for example, is FDA approved.
In America. But you can still find ways to get it in America. It's just expensive. And I guess like all of these things you're talking about are ridiculously expensive. And it's not that the other ones like don't work. It's just kind of, you know. What you're playing for.
So the added things that you are ordering today that you wouldn't be ordering if you weren't breastfeeding.
So you're also eating a lot more like,
traditional foods as well yeah that's a lot of ground turkey that's interesting um so what what i also asked chat gbt was to compare jovi and to compare bobby and to look at the ingredients and rank them good neutral bad and they it was closer than i would have thought so i do think we are like kind of on the margin here and so bobby it had 14 ingredients that were not good and uh jovi it had six ingredients that that weren't good so fascinating
Totally. I'm with you. I'm a little confused as to, as to it all.
One chance to get me out of retirement on this.
That's a good confession. I applaud.
The short, yeah. Yeah.
Pros and cons.
Because then the kids are going to be chasing the ice cream truck when it's not playing the music. So I feel like you're just kind of going to backfire on that one.
Exactly. So we can't be taking away ice cream from the kiddos.
I'm sure.
My gut would be Cash App.
Wow.
We're going to need Julie to source that up.
Um, yeah, I, I'm, I'm going to take this a step further. We need, uh, Yeah, we need those spots at the front of the store beside the handicapped parking. Totally agree.
Yeah. And what about like doing joint ones?
What what do you like? What classifies to get a handicap parking pass? I actually don't know anything about this.
Because sometimes I see people. So go into the handicap parking and they have the thing on the car and they look pretty healthy.
I think it's so absurd. I think it's like claiming – that's like stolen valor. Yeah.
Not sold out, but that's like, you're not like, that's taking advantage of the system.
I don't think people think that's a flex.
We need a pregnant woman. and we need a mums under two or mums under three parking tag.
We'll take you to the city of Austin.
Yeah. So so Bitcoin was created by a character named Satoshi. And for years, people have been trying to figure out who Satoshi is. And there's always these like exposés that come out, these documentaries, HBO, different other publications on who actually created Bitcoin. Create a Bitcoin.
This makes so much sense because when in the good three and a half minutes that I thought our car was stolen. Like my reaction was like, I kind of thought it was funny. It was like, in what world could our car get jacked? And like, you know, someone clearly use some like advanced tech to, you know, spark the system or whatever. And you were like, definitely nervous.
And the latest one that's gaining a bunch of buzz on Twitter is Jack Dorsey, who's the founder of both Twitter and the founder of Square. The payments. The payment company. There's a whole bunch of coincidences that make it seem like he is the guy. which would be so cool because I think the general understanding is, or the general thought is that Satoshi died.
And that's why like at this point, no one had heard from him and his wallet hasn't been active. But if, if, if Satoshi was hiding in plain sight and like, you know, the richest or close to the richest guy in the world was there and not taking the credit like that, that's just badass.
My take on this from the guy's perspective is like, the mom has the information in front of her and she makes her call and like, you shut the f*** up.
Yeah. Satoshi is a really, really good answer.
You stole the crypto expertise from me in the family.
All right. Should we roll to brain break?
We have time.
Canada hockey. You got to do it quick.
This is the time. My country, our sport is on the stage. People are watching.
Okay. For the listeners tonight, Canada, day comes out.
Thursday night. U.S. versus Canada, four nations. This is it. This is us. This is our sport. And you know what? It's my TikTok. I stand by this view. I think we need a wager on this game. I think that it's the perfect time to, there's all the buzz about the 51st state. Does Canada become it or does it not? I think that that's what this game is for.
I think if Canada wins, then we get free military support from America for five years. And I think if we lose, we become the 51st state. And in five years, when we, and I'm just using five years as a random number, when we win at the next game, if we win, we no longer are the 51st state. I think that should be our odds.
Yeah.
Hi Alex.
Deal? Yeah. So if Canada wins, I stay retired from gift giving for 12 months.
Thank you for listening.
And I guess you were nervous because you, you thought that, that the blame was going to come, was going to come your way.
Would you have said?
I'm a man of honesty with the law. I'm very supportive of that.
Two lawyers in a pod. Look at us.
Two lawyers in a pod. But the car wasn't stolen.
Well, no, what's so weird is like, I swear that I have a visual memory of returning the car. Of like coming back from, I was working at Soho House, coming back from Soho House, parking and going along with my day. I just completely blanked That was another day. And yeah, I went to the taco shop. I had a little solo lunch where I watched Canada beat Finland.
You should have just said Harrison.
Big win to get to the finals of the Four Nations Cup. And I guess in a moment of excitement, I walked out of the taco shop and I started walking home. I was pumped. And I filmed a TikTok. And I just completely forgot. Because I normally walk to the taco shop. And I just walked home and I am...
Because I've been to that taco shop 15 times and I walked every time. In my defense. And I parked in the back alley. So I didn't walk by my car.
No, I parked in the secondary parking spot.
I've been called so many different things throughout my life. That, like, I typically don't even know what people are calling me. So I caught it there. But with so many abbreviations on my last name and on my first name.
Yeah. I don't like driving.
Very inefficient.
I feel like we've, we've ran this.
So anyways, we found the car, um, into the ground.
I think it's a perfect foray into my big announcement, which only can happen on this podcast.
I officially retire from getting you gifts.
Retirement paperwork has been filed with the league. oh people have paperwork and league the commish no more gifts we're giftless that's so sad for me i can come out of retirement but we're gonna need a fix we're gonna need to fix our system
You are in trouble.
Yeah, I just, you've been handling so much between motherhood and work and just life that I wanted to, you've been talking about an evening bag forever. And so I wanted to surprise you with something. And you talked about getting a set. A set? Yeah.
like having the set of the three bags in the same place oh yeah i thought i i did i did say i would like to walk in i was like she you know has these two things and and she's been talking about a black evening bag and they showed me the black evening bag i it was like literally what you described and yes swing and a miss Um, but I don't want it to. Yeah.
I just wanted to do something special for, and I'm like, I'm not a bad guy, but, um, yeah. For, for how much you've been kicking ass.
I don't love the idea of it. You don't love it.
You sent me into retirement. So There we are.
I'm retired right now. So something's going to have to change.
I'm on the beach. I'm on the beach.
Never been to Cabo. My favorite beach is in Utila.
I think Utila's in Honduras. Can we get a check on that?
Utila Bay Islands?
Maybe we can put up the pictures of just how beautiful it is there. Because we were held up, the way we got to Utila, we drove from Guatemala and we were held up at gunpoint. So not the safest place in the world.
That's the next stage in our relationship.
To get held up at gunpoint?
we were driving in the middle of the night. Um, and all of a sudden, just like these lights flash on and there's just guns like pointed around the vehicle and holy cow. Um, I'm just like, I was with Kost and Ben. We're just like, fuck. Because we were warned that these streets had problems to them. And, you know, we... How did you navigate that? Managed to... How? Keep things moving.
And then we were good to go.
And we got to Utila Bay Islands.
It was beautiful.
Baby first, then pet name.
There's no better way to enjoy a trip than being held up at gunpoint beforehand. Like a beach. You want to know what beautiful water looks like? You get a gun in your face.
And then they had this bar. And the bar was all open.
Except for a TV. And we watched March Madness on the TV. It was truly like... I get flashbacks of how great of a trip that was.
No.
They serve chicken wings at this bar.
And then we drank Fanta's the whole time, and we thought Fanta's, like, we had Fanta's vodkas, and we thought that Fanta didn't have sugar in it.
So this week last year Harrison and I went to Miami.
Okay. Um, clothes. I've done for you. Have you done for me?
Okay. Wellness. I've done for you. Have you done for me?
Home. I have not done yet. Have you done that for me? Let me guess.
Okay. So that, those are the categories we're doing for each other this year. And I wish I, I like love the categories. Cause then we both know, like there's going to be four gifts for each person. Peace of mind. Um, peace of mind yet so paralyzing. Do you find it that way? Oh, I tell you, it's like, I know the category, but I still have like all these options and I just can't pick one.
I'm great with those.
Just haven't done it yet.
yeah you know you're getting me in all the categories well yeah home for me is perplexing although i do think recently about that what i already got your home i just like i just asked i know i was fucking with you oh okay cool that's funny i have all your gifts really yeah oh so i'm just wondering are they enough they are whatever it is like i don't you know what do you know like what i want this year let's hear hang out with tater i'm gonna be so happy i don't need anything else
You had previously said you wanted to give her stocks, but now that she's born, do you want to give her like stocks and gifts?
That's what I want. Like, I'll be good to go.
What are you thinking? Because you had previously said you wanted to give her stocks, but now that she's born, do you want to give her like stocks? and gifts? You've always said and gifts, I guess.
And that's because the primary, explain to us the primary reason of this.
it's financial literacy, not so much like future financial planning for her. Like is the goal that, that these stocks, you know, do well. And then whenever she's like 18 or 21, you know, and comes and says like, I want to start a business or something. It's like, well, you have your money. It pays for your college or it can pay for, is that, is that your goal?
Yeah.
Okay, so I'm like very for that and especially her understanding, like there's no harm in that. So, okay, I love that you're going to give her stocks.
No, but how cool to be able to say when she does understand it, like, your first year, you were three months old, and I bought you X. What are you going to buy her?
Uh-huh.
Oh, no, no, no. I don't agree.
Can we get like a milk one or a bottle?
Yeah, our theme this year is milky.
Well, dairy is coming back because people are really sick of the dairy alternatives.
Great. Let's buy her something with milk.
I would love to. I just emailed her today because it's her three months.
Oh, I told her she cuddled with dad all morning. She's the light of our lives. And then I said at the end, I love you, baby girl.
It's not Ready Aim Aim. It's Ready Aim Fire. So you just got to send that email. I want to tell you about a product I just added to my shop, my must-haves for newborns. And it is the Navage Baby Aspirator and Inhaler. Because... Babies have small noses and they get congested and they don't like it when you reach in there and pull these boogers out. Also, it's too small to pull them out.
What are you seeing it in?
So the Navage Baby Aspirator has been so helpful for baby Tate because I just put it up there and it's a soft little insert and it sucks out her snot. And you guys, I use this like one to two times a week. Also the bit, the inhaler is incredible because it has quiet continuous mist of the drug free sterile saline solution to break down the congestion and it moisturizes the pathways.
And so it soothes their upper respiratory system. And you guys, these little babies, when they get congested, it is so sad, but having the Navaj baby products around, has been a game changer. Parenting is hard. Make life easier. Order the new Navage baby aspirator and inhaler today because you guys are going to thank me later for this tip, especially around the sixth season.
So my listeners can order it directly from my exclusive URL, navage.com slash Alex. You can order both products and get full product details. Again, that's N-A-V-A-G-E dot com slash Alex. Don't wait. Order now. Navaj dot com slash Alex. So we're going to get her a milk stock. Okay, great. And then we know we're getting each other. So that's going to make for a very Merry Christmas.
No, no, no. No, sir.
And then in terms of toys for her, I want to get her a mogul that's like automatic that goes above her head whenever she's doing dance time. And then I want to get her a walker. One of my friends sent me a walker for when she's six months old and we don't have that yet. So I want to get her that.
I think it'll be really fun for her. And then on actual Christmas Day, all she wants is Milky to be held and to hang out with Mom and Dad. So we'll just do that all day, and it'll be a good Christmas for her. All right. So segment number one that we go into is what we've DM'd each other this week. And we've DM'd each other a lot.
Like Harrison and I are constantly sending each other clips back and forth of like parenting, house, anything, restaurants, blah, blah, blah. And so we went through and we picked the two most notable ones. And the first notable one. We will not name the name of this influencer ever. Right. Because that's really not the point.
Okay, I'll debunk that after.
The point is the kind of content people make about their babies and the kind of content we don't want to make about our baby. So some influencers will like. make fun of their kids online. This particular video was somebody like stitched over their family being like trying to get your family out the door.
And it's like how long it takes and how one kid will start crying because they're crying because they're randomly hungry. And it's like this whole parody about babies. And I find it just mean.
to the kid because here's the thing when the baby you know is 15 years old I don't think she'll have social media 15 let's say 18 and she looks back and she's like oh you guys were making fun of me when I was little it's like not not at all because like to me this is just the sweetest time of our life so that
It's kind of like how – I've never really talked about how we think about what we put on her online. And I just want to say like it's very important to us that we're never making fun of her. Like you're not going to see a poopy diaper or like anything like that because I don't think that's fair to her. Do you agree?
Okay, so I don't agree that we're putting down a mom influencer because we're not saying who it is. And it's not even somebody I follow. It was a random video I was served. And I think like, I do think when, so when you put things out on the internet, I do think people are allowed to have opinions on them, right? Same thing with us. I think what it boils down to, though, is like you're OK.
If you're OK with your content and proud of it, then I think you're OK with people. Then I think that it is a foundation for people to then have opinions upon you. Right. So like I can't sleep at night if I'm making fun of her online. That's not saying that's not the kind of content I want to do. When it came to putting her online, I thought I'll put like the sweet moments of her online.
And that's where I'm okay with it. I like our, my favorite kinds of videos are like us as a parent. Because here's the thing, at the end of the day, like creating content is my job. So also being a mom is my job. And like right now it's occupying 99% of my brain. And so in order for me to make content that was not about the baby, that would be impossible.
Like if you told me to make a video right now about what we had for dinner, I'd be like, I'm not even sure we could scrap together dinner. You're not going to find me putting down another mom influencer, especially not by name. I definitely think that we can talk about the kind of content we don't want to create.
No, that's right.
Yeah. And I just don't think that she should be like a sub, like a true character that we create or like she, I just want her to live her life. And then if there's something cute about that, that I want to post that I think will either bring people joy or help them like I'm good with.
And then other than that, I think a lot of it revolves around us as parent things and like what we learn, which I always call like information sharing, not giving advice because I don't have a lot of advice to give, but I definitely am down to share like you and I's journey.
Harrison tried this the other day. He was like, I'm trying to go the whole day without her crying. But sometimes when you change your diaper, she just cries because she's cold.
We had a long millennial pause in there.
Well, and what I want to say is like two things. Number one, I think like I really thought about if I wanted to include her in content or not. And like, I love watching this content online of other moms with their babies. Like it brings me so much joy. And so like, it's just in my heart that like, it's a gut feeling where it's like, I'm really okay with the way we're doing it.
Plus it brings me joy and it makes me happy.
Totally. But I think the way we're doing it is like very true to us and like, we're okay with it. Wouldn't you agree?
Well, and it's mainly like a community too, which I'm really enjoying. I really enjoy seeing – I find a lot of things online. I think a lot of people find – I think modern parenting, like you just find a lot online. And so I'm really enjoying it.
And as long as it's filtered through like this sweet, tender lens where she's not like a joke at all, where she's just like our sweet baby girl, then I'm good with it.
So that's the first thing we deemed to each other that I pulled out. The second one was you deemed me something about crypto.
So just in one sentence, that means people that bought Bitcoin at one hundred dollars can sell it now for over one hundred grand. Yes. So crazy. Do you want to tell us, did you buy any Bitcoins? I know you bought one, too. How many Bitcoin did you buy?
I do agree with that. I think it's cute that you want her to go the whole day without crying. But I just think her crying is a way of telling us things too. So it's okay.
Oh, did you buy any, yes or no?
Congratulations. Now, here's the problem.
No. Here's the thing.
Well, now if I bought one, would I have to pay over 100 grand for it?
No.
I'd love to. But here's my question on this crypto thing. So it's over 100 grand. Is there a chance it drops to 50? Should you sell now? Or do you hold on assuming it goes to a million?
So you're going to hang on.
Do you have a number you want to sell at?
Ever?
Okay, and then give it to her?
She has a Bitcoin?
So will she sell hers?
But she can.
Wow.
Well, what if she, you know, turns 25 and her bitcoins worth $2 million and she's got a problem she wants to invest in?
I love a good deal as much as the next girl, but I'm not gonna crawl through a bed of hot coals just to get to it. So you guys, I love something that's easy, no hoops, no BS. So when Mint Mobile said it was easy to get wireless for $15 a month with a purchase for a three month plan,
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Is Chinooka like a couple of days before Hanukkah or like when is Chinooka? Harrison was like, what? Welcome back to another episode of Just Alex.
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Yeah. Can we change her diaper ahead of time?
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I saw on Instagram this girl had like a really mini pot that what what stopped me from scrolling was the caption said my two-month-old has only pooped in a diaper one time and I thought what so I watched the video and it was this like little potty and she had her baby sitting on and it was going in the bathroom in it and she was like look I already I already potty trained my baby and
Well, that worked out well.
Yeah, that's true. I think that's the way it works, right? It's not always all going to work out well, but it's nice to get some wins.
Yeah.
Was it worth a lot more at one point?
Like a throwaway email?
Okay, so it's like a random, it's like the email you subscribe at target.com to.
And you just like don't check that email? Yeah. That's on you. Because like I don't check my spam email is the word I was trying to think of. I don't check my spam email.
But crypto is kind of in that like volatile stage where like it could be closing.
Yeah. That's which is incredible.
Do you know what you bought crypto at?
Why? Is that like a thing within the crypto people like when you got in?
Oh, wow. Like, were you an early enough adopter?
That's ridiculous. It was absurd. People were just like, change the diaper. Do less. Do less. I hated it. I hated it. So... Yeah. Yeah. I'm not for it.
Good for people, though, because I remember I remember like to I was on my friend's bachelorette party. So I think it was three, four years ago. Like people were so skeptical of crypto. They thought it was like snake oil. And now it's like cool to sit here and see people stayed on and they rode the wave and like informed people really like drove that.
I guess maybe if I just get a little more invested in it, then I'll have more to say on it.
I would really love to, like love to.
I would love to. It's like so over my head.
Well, maybe I'll even talk about it. Maybe that could be something that I talked about online, my journey with that learning. All right, so we'll do that. And now let's move to parent fails of the week.
where I don't know if you guys remember or if you're new here, you don't remember, but Harrison and I had the best parenting fail very early on when we found that I was pregnant and we made our first doctor's appointment. We were living in New York at the time and we were like so proud of this doctor's appointment because we were like, we're going to go scan the baby, blah, blah, blah.
We like show up 8 a.m., Upper West Side. We live in Tribeca. So it's like an hour. We get there and like the doctor brings us back and sits me on this like Winnie the Pooh bed. You know, one of those like doctor beds with like Winnie the Pooh sheet over it. And he comes in and he's like, how can I help you? And I'm like, I'm pregnant. And he's like, I'm a pediatrician.
And we were like, who do you see when you're pregnant? And he's like, you're OBGYN. And I was like, oh my God. And Yeah, so we – I remember we left that appointment, and you were like, how can we even – like, can we have a child? Are we fit to be parents? And I remember thinking, like, I don't know.
No, nor do I want to. I think that the cries are okay. They're letting us know she wants me to change. I think in a perfect world, it'd be great if we could anticipate everything that was going to happen, but that's not a hill I'm going to die.
I remember I was more optimistic in this, and you were mad at yourself because you had made the doctor's appointment. Anyways, fast forward to now. We just got our little three-month-old. I think we're thriving, loving. Parenthood has its ups and downs, of course, but, like, we love it, and I think we crush it, okay?
Nonetheless, though, I do think it's important as parents to share our wins and our losses.
My fail this week is we put our Christmas card online. Although I don't think you really wanted to do the holiday card in general, but I wanted to because I just love stuff like that. And so I sent out the, I sent, you know, the information about the Christmas card and I get the proof back and I like read the front and back and I like respond and I'm like, perfect.
And then they produce a batch of them. And then I show Harrison the Christmas card and he's like, yeah, that's just not how you spell our middle name. And I was like, It's not how you spell her middle name. And it's not that, like, they forgot a letter. It's that it's... I actually still, to this day, don't know. It's Francis. F-R-I-N-C... I had put E-S, but it's I-S.
Really?
All I know is I had the wrong one. Still don't know which one we went with. We both had grandmas, both, both named Francis, but mine was spelled with one I or E and yours was the other. We chose the one that's primarily female, which I thought was, is it ES? Francis? It's ES. Okay. So her middle name is ES. Anyways, slightly expensive mistake, but we swapped them.
Off we go. Yeah. So that's my parenting fail of the week.
Yeah. Do you have one?
Did you put a newborn's on her?
That's okay. That's all right. We can survive that.
Her hips?
Oh.
Yeah.
Yep. Hers is in size two. Those are a little big, but I think they're cute. She's between sizes. She's between a one and a two, so we're going twos. Bless you. Bless you. Okay, so that's our good old parenting fail. And then we're going to go to, oh, Tate's grandma, Harrison's mom, texted that Tate's cousin, Parker, got a telescope for...
Chinooka and I came downstairs and I was like is Chinooka like a couple days before Hanukkah or like when is Chinooka Harrison was like what and I was like your mom's talking about how Parker got a telescope for Chinooka and I know about Hanukkah but I don't know about Chinooka and I was wondering if it was like you know like an additive holiday And he was like, he started filming me.
I have no desire for her to go a day without crying. That's not a PC answer.
And that's when I knew like, okay, I'm missing something here. So then I remembered the challah bread. I first pronounced challah because it had a C-H on it. And so then I was like, what's with the C-H's? So Chanukah is just Hanukkah with a C-H because C-H is, what is it?
That's very confusing.
The Chinooka threw me for a loop.
Amongst everything else that we have going on with having a three-month-old? No. No, sir. That is not on my top 20 list of things that I want to try.
I love the word Chinooka. I'm all in for it. Just pronouncing it the way that we think.
Chanukah.
Hanukkah.
Wait, so is Chanukah just Hanukkah with a C? No, it's different.
Hanukkah, Chanukah. Yeah.
And they're the exact same spelling?
For some reason, Chinooka didn't look like Hanukkah to me. Okay, so Chinooka has one K. Oh, wait, wait, wait. And it's different.
Yeah, they're spelled differently. It's very... Yeah.
I did not know I was blindsided. So that's my today I learned. So my aunt, what I love about my aunt Joni is she sent us a Christmas present, but it was the menorah, the dreidel, and then one other wrapped gift that's under the Christmas tree. And I texted her the other day and I was like, that was very inclusive and kind of you.
Just a super nice gift.
And she got ahead of it. She was like, hi, I want to send you a menorah. Do you have one? And I was like, no, I don't have one. I've been looking for one. So I didn't buy one. And she sent us a very nice one.
Also encompassed like this dreidel pillow thing that's like super cool.
Well, I like that she sent it.
Yeah, that is really nice of her. All right. So our last... Oh, I think that is our last segment. Oh, now we have a listener question. All right. So the listener question is about pumping and feeding because I got a lot of questions about this. So will you share your nursing pumping schedule? I'm trying to figure one out for myself.
Are you exclusively pumping to feed or is babe on the boob sometimes? So. All right. The way I figured out my nursing pumping schedule was like intuitively and then I read a lot and then I took like I didn't follow one specific guideline. I just took what worked for me.
Thank you. Still got the... Still got my new... I put my new eyebrow gel on today. So it really is... Thank you. I do appreciate.
So right now I'm pumping every three hours, but I'm going to need to start pumping more because Tate's starting to eat every two hours. So if I haven't pumped by the time she's hungry again, she goes on the boob. I pump. 80% of the time. And she's on the boob 20% of the time. Um, her on the boob is ineffective. She like falls asleep on it, like uses it as a pacifier.
I'm in bed for like two hours trying to feed her. And then she's never fully full. Like she always needs a top off. So basically the schedule is pump every two and a half hours, feed her every three hours is ideally how we're doing it. But I'm trying to get my supply up right now. So yesterday I had like two protein shakes,
four turkey burgers, like my protein and my hydration is like through the roof and I'm starting to pump 15 minutes, but now I'm going to 20. So trying to pump longer, I'm trying to get my supply up. But every day I have a good freezer supply, but honestly, we're starting to go through it a little bit because she's eating more. So mom needs to increase supply. So that's my new focus.
And that's, that's the skinny on how I do it.
But how do you trust me?
Okay. I'm going to do some power pumps this week and try to up it again. The problem is there was a point where I was pumping like three bottles to every one bottle. So that was just literally a cow and my boobs were like constantly filling up. I couldn't leave the house and like it hurt.
And I always had a clogged duck. Like I overproduced. So then I tried to scale it back and I've scaled back too far. So now I need to increase again. So I got to go figure it out, but I'm going to dedicate today and tomorrow to like figuring it out.
All right. So on that note, I think we wrap her up.
What do you say?
We love you guys. Merry Christmas. Yeah. Yeah. Merry Christmas, H. Happy holidays. To them because this comes out and then Wednesday's Christmas. So you guys, tis the season. Watch every Christmas movie you want. There's no time to put anything else off. Go do everything you want to do this holiday. You only get to do it once a year. Love you guys.
Well, also happy Hanukkah. They're on the same day. Oh my God. Happy Hanukkah, you guys. Chinooka. Happy Chinooka. Okay, guys. Thanks for listening to another episode of Just Alex powered by Just Media House. If you enjoyed the show, which I think you did because you made it this far, don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, rate, and review. All of those things are so important.
I don't know because mine is about, well, I pump when I do it a lot of times. So I could tell you exactly, it's around eight to nine minutes, but I'm doing, so I think that's probably a lot longer than most. Um, but I'm doing the electromagnetic face gym thing. The massager that's like, you have to charge it. Like it actually is, is moving. Like it moves my face around.
you
Like my eye twitches when I do it because I'm deep puffing from a pregnancy face.
What are you doing? Swiping outward. I'm doing lymphatic drainage towards the ear and then down. Oh, yeah. So I go out and then I go down. You got to open up your lymph nodes. Yep. Oh, yeah.
It's a little flat because I don't want to wake her up because Julie just moved her chair and she was startled by that and she's sleeping.
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Why do some people on our street have just one candle in their windows? Have you noticed that? A lot of people have one candle in their windows.
Love it.
They do.
This morning, Tate had the most cute morning of her life. She was nuzzled cuddling with you. Does that melt you?
Yeah. So there's this neighbor that lives diagonal from us that emailed me. Oh, I don't think I told you about this. Okay. So there was a block party that Harrison stumbled upon when Tate was like three weeks old. So we were like freshly in the newborn phase and Harrison's like, they're having a block party. The firefighters are out there. Like we should go, you know, get a hot dog and say hi.
So I'm like, okay. So we go down to the block party and I ended up meeting this girl named Carrie who put on the block party. And there was not a photographer there, but she was taking photos with her iPhone. And so she asked me for my email address so she could email me the link to the photos from her iPhone, just like an iCloud link. So I gave it to her.
I get an email from Carrie last week inviting us to, inviting the whole block, those that she has her emails. to a hotel lobby tour of all the hotels downtown that are decorated for christmas she's included in the email photos from last year and she said you know all age is welcome and if you can't make it just respond back and at least let me know that you think this is a good idea
And if you do, I can set you up for a private tour of the lobbies downtown. So I responded back to Carrie and I was like, I don't even know what the date is, but we're unable to make it. But I do. I think it's a lovely idea. And. I did not ask to be set up on a private tour, although I do think it would be the best thing on the planet to take you going in blind to a private hotel downtown tour.
Like, I think you would die and like not be able to put on a little confused.
Okay, pivot away.
First National Bank. It was incredible. They crushed their lobby. Crushed the lobby.
Do you want me to show you some lobbies from last year?
It's an excellent movie. Jim Carrey, like, Him playing the Grinch is unbelievable. And then did you see he just took a new role? Do you know why he took it? He needs the money. Oh, that's sad. He said, I spent a lot of money and I, he said, I spent a lot. I bought a lot of things. So frankly, I need the money. And I thought Jim Carrey, another person who perplexes me, like he's super A-list and
That's not a slight pivot.
right do you agree with me there i'd walk by him uh i haven't seen him in so long obviously 15 years ago i would know who he is right away i i don't i don't know how he's aged i could walk by him on the street i think he's a grandfathered in celebrity that plays roles unbelievable like him watching him play the grandchild i was just like whoa interesting yeah dude is talented anyways he's gonna do a new role because he needs the money um
But yeah, the Grinch is phenomenal. You know what? I didn't want to watch The Elf, so I watched Grinch. But forgive me for being in the holiday spirit with my mug. I'm a Grinch. But you're not at all. You're not a Grinch. You love decorating the porch. You love holidays.
But why are you being like this? You're not a Grinch. I don't like you saying that when you're in fact the opposite. You're quite jolly.
You love dressing up, Tater.
Okay. Okay. So we're going to jump into... Like, we have some segments today. So we have a listener question at the end, which I love. And then we're going to do... We're trying out new segments. So we're trying out parenting fails, which, by the way, please. So write in listeners questions to the Just Alex podcast page.
Also start writing in parenting fails because we're going to either if we have one, we'll do ours. If we don't have one, we'll we'll share yours. And then we're also going to do our first segment. Let's like jump into our first segment. OK.
So, one more thing before we get into our newfound segments. Let's talk, speaking of holiday cheer, about what you and I are doing for Christmas and what we're doing for Tater for Christmas. So, Harrison and I, last year we did... Do you ever think about where we were last year versus this year? So this week, last year, Harrison and I went to Miami.
And our Miami trip, should we ever go back, looked very different then than it would now. We, like, hit poppy stake. What else did we do?
I forgot about that.
We rented a car, a Mustang convertible, which was like very fun to drive in Florida. And we drove to the, what is that called? The Everglades. The Everglades. And he took me on an alligator tour, like those boats with the big fan in the back.
That was like one of the coolest things I've ever done. Oh, that was such a fun trip. Like we had a blast. Like a blast. And we'd only been dating for a month and a half. Oh my God, you took me on the coolest adventures. Wow, that just got me excited. So this was the week that I remember because we went December 16th. And that was yesterday.
So this was the week where we were in Miami for like seven or eight days. And it was so fun because what we did was we got up every morning. We went on a run. And then we came back and we like laptopped. We laptopped like by the pool or in the lobby. Yeah. And then every night we had, you planned the most fun dinners ever. But where did we go? Poppy Steak, Mila? Milo?
We did. We did. And oh my gosh, it was so fun.
Uh, what's the one, what's the one that the one actually Delilah, um, we've got chicken tenders. Oh, sorry. To Grutman. I don't like know these people. I just know the restaurants are good.
you really got to be on offense and know she's going to get hungry, you know, and feed her the bottle beforehand and burp her. And, and if you do all of those things, maybe the least amount is nine, 10, You know, you got to hope nobody drops loud noises. No, nothing breaks.
Oh my gosh. But Joe's stone crab. I had never been. That was so like, this is like one of my favorite trips ever, but I was thinking about it the other day because you ever think like this year versus last year, right? And this week, she's turning three months old. And it's really funny to think about my time hops on my phone are just like us in Miami. And I'm like, oh, we're not there anymore.
We're just not in that phase, which I love. Because if we went to Miami now, we stayed at the addition. We wouldn't stay there.
Somewhere more kid-friendly. More baby friendly. If a baby's crying at the addition in Miami, like the person in the room next door went to bed at 4 a.m. and like you are ruining their life. Really? Yes. Don't you think? So, okay. So last year what we did was we did gifts for each other and we did shoes. Because I got you Jordans. You got me the fuzzy Birkenstocks.
Yeah. Oh, and you got yourself the Jordans too because we have matching ones and Tater has them too. You got me Jordans. I got you Birkenstocks. Fuzzy Birkenstocks. I got you Uggs. I got you man Uggs. Yep. Short Uggs. That's what it was. We got each other the Birkenstocks.
The wax. I got you the wax jacket.
Orange.
Oh, yeah. And you got me the Kith sweatsuit.
Yeah. Wow. Great. Okay. So this year what we're doing is we're doing shoes again, which I already got yours. I was thinking I could say what I got you in the microphone and you couldn't listen, but I know that you'll listen to this back and then you'll hear it. Okay. So I'm not going to say it. Cool. Okay. So shoes, which check I've done for you, have you done for me?
what was the last update we had on the housing situation i think you said you were trying to buy the plot of land we haven't said that yet yes you did yeah oh oh my goodness okay you you said it was like more complicated than a normal housing situation
Women were allowed in Augusta National and have been since 2012. 2012.
One of my great friends is working on the marketing for it.
And now it seems like an ad, but this is not an ad.
So I don't think you like gotten to the nitty gritty. You just said we couldn't talk about it. Mysterious.
It's not even my house and I'm having an anxiety attack.
No more Danish. No more Danish.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
are you hungover no okay it would be kind of fun if you were being more of a silly episode ready let's go okay welcome back to another episode of two parents in a podcast hello guys we have cat so harrison's mom kathy is here and she's watching us and it's not often that we have spectators is that what you call it
And we stayed very calm and I think, listen, we don't ever give advice on here, but I will say I was glad she wasn't buckled in.
had done that preparation before it scared it scared me though and i sat down and i just i had tears streaming down my face and i was like oh my gosh but then we got an orange we got an orange um what is that called an orange slice and we gave it to her to let her suck on it so so she would know food wasn't bad and food is her friend and there was just a little accident but i mean i tell you what she had a great day after that like she just was like ah i was shaking up like i was shaking yeah for hours and hours
I could not recover. It just, yeah, it did a number on me. So I think that hopefully that never happens again, but, um, it could. So it's, I'm glad we're taking the course. And then we got on the airplane and there was turbulence and they said, please fasten your seatbelts. And Harrison was like, but fasten the seatbelts and look at me. He's like, you have got to fasten your seatbelt.
And I was like, what? He said, what if you hit the thing and you fly up?
Jules is shaking her head no we have three people in the room who fastens their seatbelt no from Priscilla Kathy's question oh that's so Kathy said she just started since the airplane flipped on the runway in Toronto and I do think about that a lot when they're landing
And Tate got stuck kind of down there in the birth canal for... It was like six hours. So she came out and her head was kind of some funky shapes.
I think they're suggestions. I do not want... Hold on, hold on, hold on. No, during takeoff and landing.
I do now, especially if I'm holding Tate, I do. And ever since having her, I do. I used to, not all the time.
80% of the time, yes. But if it's like inconvenience or sitting underneath me, no.
No.
Yeah, it's honestly good to have them on.
I've become way more of a rule follower.
Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
No. During turbulence, Harrison was looking at me dead serious. And he was like, what if we hit a bump of turbulence and you fly up and hit the ceiling? I was like, I like my odds. Yeah.
Yeah. They told us that, though. They were like, she's going to have a cone head, but it will even out. And it did after like three days. It's crazy how heads do that. So crazy how they just mold.
Well, here's the thing. Most of the time, I mean, seatbelts do more good than harm. So I am for that. I, on the way there, we were sitting by the wing and there was that story like two years ago where the, the wing blew open and the person, I mean, that's true.
Yeah. About the seatbelts in the car.
I always wear my seatbelt because I always tell you, what is it? 80, 90% of wrecks happen within one to two miles of the home.
And here's the thing. You're more likely, as we know, to get in a car wreck than a plane crash. So you really should wear your seatbelt. You really should wear it?
No, if there's one area where I think you can skip on the rules, it's that. We had a great flight attendant, though. That guy, I love a good flight attendant. He was so nice. When you get on the plane and he's just like, hi.
Served you your chicken parm. And he was really shuttling you your beers. He was doing a good job.
He gave you all of them on the plane. And then I asked for a water. He brought me the bottle, the full bottle. I was loving it. It was great.
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Well, that's the normal bump that they have until it closes, right? Yeah, so Kathy's in town because Harrison, if you guys remember, you gave us the present of Kill Tony.
We got a hat from them and a half zip, and I have to tell you, both extremely high quality and very good looking. So the 2025 Collection is a modern reinterpretation of the classic American preppy style, blending vintage nostalgia with contemporary performance wear. So elevate your style game on and off the course with
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We are so happy to be back in the studio, our studio, the basement, because the thing about Miami was there was the lights. I felt like we were, it was kind of like we were in a,
Yes. Two chairs, two mics.
I wasn't comfortable either. I'm very comfortable here. I love it here.
on the difference between the two and like something about inviting oh because you guys invite people into your home with this show yes that wasn't your home that was not our home yeah that's the whole thing about this is supposed to be like irl um just about our life and there it felt like we were on set or something and it was a bit jarring totally agree
Okay, so what we're going to talk about in this episode is the school situation because we touched on it last week and now we want to go further into what our plan is with the school and the neighborhood and Maria and the curriculum and XYZ. But before that, I want to do things we DM'd each other. And we're going to do yours first.
Yeah, we can talk about Mother's Day. What about it? We've got food poisoning from the buffet.
I would give you a 8.5.
Going to the comedy show. Yeah. I got food poisoning. I didn't go to the comedy show. Kathy and Harrison have reported that it was an 11 out of 10.
No, no, no. I loved Mother's Day. What we did though was we went to, we went to this, the four seasons here for the Mother's Day brunch with the neighbors, which was great. But then afterwards we like hung out and lingered around the property and I really wanted to come home and just like, I'm like really into organizing my room and I just wanted some me time. That was the only thing.
Okay.
Okay. So what would you grade yourself?
Really? And what would you have done differently? So I woke up and we actually both went to the neighbor's house and we had coffee with them.
Very nice. Do you know the problem? I now know the problem. What? You set the bar high on the day-to-day basis because you always bring me coffee. You always walk to Swedish Hill and you always bring me a coffee back. You got me really pretty flowers. You got me really nice cards.
The best part of the day was he walked in the room with Bubba and she had the card and they'd been practicing handing me the card. That was really cute.
Yep.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Well, we did angel food cake. Angel food cake twice, and that was really nice. Yeah. I thought it was a really good day.
Okay.
Well, I enjoyed the day, and I got-
Oh yeah, the tater tots. Tater tots.
Oh, when we were going down memory lane, we did notice that in the room after she was born, we had tater tots and we held up the tater tot and then there was the tater tot. That was pretty cute. We didn't even know if her name was going to be Tate then.
We didn't know if her name was going to be Tate and now I can't imagine it being anything other than Tate.
At the show?
Yes. Yeah, I was happy that you did that as well. They were really fun to watch back. Okay, let's go to things we DM'd. So you go first. You DM'd two things.
Okay, what?
Oh.
Okay.
No.
But... That's not a scandal. That's a...
There's got to be a larger word for that.
So then the babies were dying.
There's no way Nestle did that.
Can we... I mean, I don't even know how you fact check such a grandiose situation. I... That just broke my heart. Guys, we have 20% off Bombas socks. And one thing I want to talk about with Bombas, which I love, is Bombas started making socks when they learned that they're the number one most requested clothing item in homeless shelters.
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Having a band play at a comedy show?
That is horrific.
That's what I'm saying. And how have we never even heard of it? I truly have never... I don't think I'll buy a Nestle product again. I cannot believe that. My jaw is on the floor. That is horrific. To be so calculated, to give two weeks of free milk supply so the milk dries up.
Allegedly.
We can always throw it.
I mean, I Googled it and I saw a Yale study on it, but let's throw an allegedly out there.
Allegedly, Alex will never buy another Nestle product. Yeah, that's alleged because I might accidentally.
But I think there's a lot more out there like that that we don't know, which is too bad.
Okay. Well, what you did actually DM me, let's talk about the alcohol graph.
Hot people are drinking less, sober is rising.
Yeah, so I read it. And like year over year, we're still trending up and it's stabilized from the COVID. Because COVID just spiked.
Right.
Which is fascinating because this is new age media. You can technically say alcohol sales are declining because technically they are. because there was COVID where they spiked, right? So it's like not really true. But here's how I know that what you're saying makes a lot of sense is How many alcohol brands are popping up left, right, and center?
I mean, I'm seeing a lot of celebrities doing alcohol. People aren't getting into dying categories that have a lot of knowledge.
So, um, yeah, but like just today I got whose wine brain is that? I think it's Cameron Diaz's. Um, no idea. Yeah. I got her. Um, I just, I just see a lot of, I think people like, I don't think Cameron Diaz is gonna launch into a category that's declining. So I would assume somebody told her that that was a good idea, I guess, on a simple, like in the simplest form.
Yeah, oh, well, of course.
I feel like we're... I'm just taking notes.
Okay, what I DM'd you was this... That was me, Alex.
I take notes to produce my show.
No, she's not. I can see her phone.
The only time that I get mad at you when you're on your phone is we're in a programming session and I look over there and Harrison's scrolling Instagram and we need your brain at the table of what we're going to talk about on the podcast. The other time it drives me crazy is right now when we're recording because I feel like I'm talking to myself.
Oh my God. okay what i dm'd you so i dm'd you a link to a school and it's called the waldorf school and it's here in austin and the reason i dm'd to you was yesterday i went to a lunch pre-food poisoning hitting me and this lunch was i do we think it's a spider did you see the spider on the boat guy's hand today yes Did I ever. There was such a, yep, there goes.
There was such a big spider on the boat guys at hand today, but it was so windy and the boat kept flying away from the dock that it just wasn't the time. I was like, I gotta, I gotta get over it. He didn't even care. Guys, let's talk about Magnetic Me, which is some of my favorite clothes for Tate and new customers. You guys get 15% off.
Oh, and that's like getting a pizza roll. That's or Caesar salad. Yeah. Oh, this is interesting.
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So what I DM'd you was I went to a luncheon the other day and... Well, I DM do a school that I want to talk about, but before I talk about the school, I want to talk about what the luncheon was. And it was this, it was all moms and it was, it's this thing called grow happy. This is not an ad. I actually thought this was cool. So it's how to introduce allergens to your kids.
And basically if you have a baby that's, they suggest four months is when you can start, but take seven months and we're going to start this soon. Like we're going to start it actually hopefully today.
Basically they give you the top 10 allergens in little packets and they make it really easy to give it to your kid because this mom, she started crying at the luncheon because she's been working on this for 10 years. And she said, I started this on the floor of the emergency room crying because my baby was allergic to egg and cashew.
Yes.
would have these reactions to it and these allergies were so frustrating to her and now she's gotten rid of both of the allergies amazing yeah it's incredible so it's there was the scientist there um there was these food formulas formula lists there i think is how you say it and so it's this really cool easy way she was like my my passion was making allergens easy because the earlier you give the kids the allergies the less likely they are to be allergic so
Grow happy. We're going to start it. Makes a lot of sense. It's cool, isn't it? So anyways, I was saying... What else about the lunch?
Well, this one had a dress code.
It was a Monday luncheon and it was, it was pastel, like everyone had to wear pastels. And then it was a seated lunch, which was really cool. And then they had used, the food was unbelievable, but they, so I get invited to a lot of brand events, right? And I'm not going to as many anymore because I feel like my time is more sacred now, like being a mom and then working.
You found a bug in Caesar salad?
But I wanted to go to this luncheon because I knew it was going to be all moms. And That is one space that I find interesting, and that's a good way to get me there these days, is, like, center it around kids. And so it was really fun talking to all the moms. The food was good, and they used a lot of the grow-happy, like, peanut butters and things. And the conversation was good.
So I sat by this girl. Her name was Allie. And she was really funny. She was like, we live on a farm. We moved here from New York. And she was like, I'm crunchy, though. She was like – she kept saying, I'm woo-woo. Like, she talks to her astrologist. And I was, like, loving her. So I was –
asking her all these questions and i was like well where your kids go to school she was like well just did an interview at the waldorf school and i said well what's the waldorf school and it's this school it's thirty thousand dollars a year per kid and what pricey price priced and she said that she was like it's pricey girl but it is awesome and everybody at the table is like oh i've heard that what the waldorf school is really like kids are really happy there and it really it feels really good for kids like on fridays they make sourdoughs sourdough bread
Yeah, I knew that was probably going to happen. Caesar salad has Parmesan in it, and most of the time I can have it.
And like the thought of a kid in preschool, keeping a sourdough starter alive, knowing that I can't even do that makes me a bit jealous, but also very happy for the kid. And then I'm sure they enjoy some phenomenal sourdough bread, which for $30,000 a year, I guess that's an expensive bread. It's expensive bread, but it's cool. It's it's cool in concept, right?
They also read it was it was the concept is by this guy named Rufus Steiner, and they read the same book for three weeks and they like keep reading it and then they start acting it out. So I was on the website and there's this emphasis on like animation and it's just like thinking about schooling really differently.
And I think it's fascinating as you and I go to explore schools to know there's that AI school here in Austin and there's this school.
The Alpha School.
There's our home school maybe. And then there's like the traditional schools. And so I find all the schoolings to be really interesting.
Yeah.
Okay, well, why don't you present it to the class?
So Maria. Okay. So let's, let's back up to the nanny share really quick and then talk about Maria doing like they do magic circle right now. OK, I have a couple of different areas I want to go because I do kind of want to talk about, like, why did we think at 12 months that she needed to go to daycare? Like, I think someone just told us that. And I've I've been the more of an asking people.
You actually made a note section?
Some people keep their kids home and they say, keep your kids home with you as long as you can. So I think this is a really cool hybrid. But the nanny share. is sort of like a small version of what we're going to build out, which is this little school. And the way we stumbled into the nanny share was we met the neighbors.
We realized that we were going to have babies within two weeks of each other. And we thought, what a really cool thing because we like the way they parent. They like the way I think they like the way we parent. And it seems very similar. And so what a fun way in terms of building your village and feeling less lonely as a new parent.
then to have Maria go back and forth between the two houses and then to take the babies back and forth.
Yeah, we bounce, bounce, bounce. So Monday, Wednesday, Friday, they're here. Tuesday, Thursday, they're at the neighbor's. And it makes pick up and drop off really fun.
Yeah, it's great. I mean, that's a no-brainer of the additive. And so a nanny share is basically sharing a nanny. And we're lucky because they're five houses down from us. So we truly could walk. Even when it's raining, you just run.
But I think being a new parent, like it can feel very isolating and you can be like you did everything like you're just at home all the time. But having us bounce back and forth between their house, like it makes it so social and community based, which I'm hoping we get from this school as well.
So with this school, we're thinking four to six kids.
I think we should. Okay. So let's, let's do this right now. So it's a daycare technically, but Maria, so Maria, before she was with us, she was doing a Spanish immersion school for six kids at a house and they had matching t-shirts. They were a little collared polos. They were green. And they said like the name of the school on it. She had an, isn't it so cute.
Yeah. I'm like a little nervous. It's making me nervous.
And she taught them like they did their songs. They went outside, they had their lunches. Like it was a full school type situation. So maybe we'll give it a name.
And then I think that we need to have roles for the parents. Like someone, I think the neighbor man, you'd also be really good at it. Maybe you two can head up curriculum.
Or no, he can do curriculum. You should do activities. Like you want them to go outside. Do you want them to make sourdough bread? Maybe.
Okay. Well, everyone should have a role.
And then also, you know, so like one thing I see my friends do is they have guest reader or surprise readers. So every Friday, um, somebody goes and does the surprise read and they don't know who it is. I'll do it. Yeah. Like Jules, Jules comes into the school and she's the reader that day. Like if your mom's in town and Kathy comes and she's the reader.
I didn't eat a chicken parm. I only ate the chicken.
We're going to have to look into the curriculum. Like, Maria knows, and we'll work with her.
I didn't eat any of the parm part of the chicken parm. On an airplane, Harrison, I would never eat dairy on an airplane chicken parm. Which is hardly real, but I would never eat dairy on an airplane.
Yeah, I think it's... So I was really nervous about it. You're a lot better at taking risks and just jumping into these things. Whereas for me, I had a lot of reservations. And I was like, well, what if, well, what if, well, what if? And a way that you mitigated that risk for me was we just said it's 12 months. And that got me really excited. And then one thing I'm afraid of is...
the social interaction, right? Or like the curriculum. But we're solving those things because it's not just Tate. Like we're not, in my head, there's kind of sometimes a negative connotation associated with homeschool. And the way that I'm just, like you have to retrain your brain. And so I'm just saying it's going to be a school at home with other people. So she'll get her social interaction.
so a lot of my fears, this girl named Carla was sort of addressing. She said, there's so much education that happens in school that you cannot replicate in a home environment. That is not saying homeschooling doesn't have a great place as well, but it's just not about the books or information.
It's about collaborating with a diverse group of peers, being challenged by different peers who think differently than you and adults that are going to see you in a different light. I can't tell you how many conversations I had with parents where I saw a different child in school often for the better than than they saw at home. Oh, that's really sweet.
So she must be a teacher who's saying, I saw the kid in a better light than their parents did at home. School is a form of independence for children and a way to discover who they are outside of who they are at home. We all play a role in our families. School is a way for them to discover outside of the home who they are. This is often separate. This is often separate twins at school.
Harrison, all I ate was the chicken.
I think that I do see her point though, where getting them out of the house is where they can be somebody different.
Yeah.
Well, what about, though, if it's at home still?
Very nice girl of me to hold Tate.
Can we get a little sprinter bus? Oh, my gosh. Okay, so the other thing my friends do is they go on field trips. And so I think on Fridays we could have field trips that parents attend.
Have you ever seen those videos where they're, they're titled showing up matters and it's the kid at the school play and he's looking for his mom or dad out in the audience and then he spots him and he just smiles so big.
I think that's really sweet. Well, they should also have a play. Okay. One more thing that I want to do. So I think they should, we should have art shows. So the art that they create, and I think I talked to you about this Tik TOK.
I think we did too where we had, okay, so I want to do this. I want to have set up where the art is and then invite all the friends and the family over and we have an art exhibition and the kids are like really proud of it.
But they can sit, they can stand and clap and do things and we can sit there and watch and just make it seem like they put on a Broadway play.
And that would be so fun.
Yeah. And then I think that, yeah, I think it'll be interesting to see how we find the four to six people, but I'm definitely thinking shirts will be made and we got to have lockers or at least hooks for backpacks.
Oh my gosh. How cute. And then there was another person I was sitting by and they had an app for their school and photos were uploaded of the kids throughout the day and it detects their face. And so then like they get, oh, Sarah, they get all the photos from their kids uploaded on their app. Does that make sense?
We're probably going to need an app.
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes. We do face detection and then it's sent automatically to that parent. How cute.
Okay. Really cool school forming.
Um, that's honestly the rundown of the docket. We didn't have like a ton today. Well, one other thing that I'll say before we wrap up is I'm going to a girl's dinner tonight and I'm very excited about it because there's a lot of moms going.
I didn't eat. Okay. What else? What else did I, when did I eat dairy?
So, well, it's so many transplants.
Like everyone tonight I think is a transplant. And the other thing is we, it was, we learned it when we went to Soho house when we first moved here. This is not a Soho house positive podcast. We're just, I don't know. We've been a lot lately. They're just keep bringing it up. I'm actually a little mad at them because they're requiring the childhood membership. So yeah,
but not too mad at them that I want them to hear this and think I'm super mad at them. I just, I think it's a little much.
Parmesan.
Harrison is winning the PC, the PC award today. I'm excited for the baby membership. I'm also just, I don't even have membership yet. I'm just your guest. So she's technically going to listen to her. She's going to be a member before me. They technically can't kick me out. Well, I'm not mad at them. I love Soho House. We go all the time. I'm kidding.
Okay. Um, no, we didn't end up getting the Caesar salad. You said it didn't look good.
It's just funny that they need a child membership when she can't walk.
She's not going to even take up a seat. But when we went to the pool there and we saw just so many kids everywhere.
And if you go to the one in New York, you couldn't find a kid.
Okay, I'm getting the sign to wrap it up. All right. We love you guys. Thank you for listening.
Thanks for listening to another episode of Two Parents in a Podcast, powered by Just Media House. If you enjoyed the show, don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, rate, and review. Stay connected on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and Facebook at Two Parents in a Pod. Welcome to our home. Sorry it's so messy. New episodes every Thursday.
Surf club.
Oh, that's not a Caesar salad. No, I get that every time I go to the audition.
Faux gras?
No.
When?
No, I didn't. Harrison, they even specified, they brought me vegan bread and I said, I've never had vegan bread so good. And they brought me my own vegan butter. It was like a whole thing. I couldn't believe it. Um,
You want to pin me as not lactose intolerant so bad, but I ain't.
All I was eating was the chicken.
You ate it on your side.
Okay. It is. It is what happened. If I'm going to eat dairy, let me tell you where I'm not going to have it. An airplane.
I had vegan butter on the foot.
It wasn't drenched in butter.
Okay. I'll give you that. Give me one more.
What is a foie gras?
No, no, no. He said, no, no, no. I remember this one because I reported the dairy allergy to the guy and he came back over and he said, this dip has dairy in it. And I said, is it butter and is it cooked? And he said, yes. And I said, bring it on and I'll have one piece.
A little less nerve wracking.
You're gaslighting me.
Are you nervous? Do you get nervous? I've never seen you nervous.
Okay, well.
Okay.
Don't you love that?
No way.
Like for a different night?
Was it sold out?
yeah so there was a band and there was no no one was singing with the band but what time let me ask you this what time did you guys come back because harrison has on a don's depot hat which is the bar near here did i dox our location who cares okay well there's don's depot i'm wearing the hat yeah true um and you got three hats and i feel like for you to buy three hats you had some beers what'd you guys do what time did you get home
Because you were setting the alarm with our phenomenal alarm system at 1245. Is that when you got home or like, do you guys have a really fun night out?
You walked home? How fun.
Oh, that's nice.
They say nerves are very healthy because, okay, so back.
What time was Don's Depot closed on a Monday?
On a Monday?
How many people were there?
No, she says.
Canada?
London.
You're not giving her a hard time.
Jamaican.
London.
Oh, was he Irish?
Ireland guy?
And have you ever Shazammed a song after you've had some drinks? Because my favorite thing to do if I like go out, right? I'll Shazam, I'll Shazam every song because I just think it is the best song I've ever heard. And then the next morning, I'll go to my Shazams and I'll play them and I'll be like, these are really underwhelming.
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Oh, that's a really good point. Yeah. I was nervous then too. But one thing I remember from boxing was my coach always told me, if you're not nervous, you get hurt. So nerves are a good thing if you channel them the right way because it can translate to caution, which I think is pretty cool. Not that I think Mike Tyson spent a lot of time nervous, but maybe.
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Yes, please.
I think I wasn't even from Ireland.
Which were very good. Good favorite meal to have.
That's very nice. She said, thank you very much. One thing that I've thought a lot about while she was here is they always say, if you want to know how a guy will treat you, look at how he treats his mom. And I think you treat your mom very sweet.
That's very sweet. And I'm glad she gets to watch us record.
Um, okay. We're going to talk about Tate choking. Dun, dun, dun. Sorry for the abrupt transition there. Julie did not like that.
Yeah. Well, that's one of the things. So we're gonna talk about Miami. Um, and while we were in Miami, we had our first choking experience, which was jarring. Okay.
I think we self-discovered that.
Okay. I'm sure somebody told us and I'm sure it was either your mom or your sister. That would make sense.
Well, I think that we can get into enough because it's very relatable. They say... Like, everything I've always heard is most kids will choke once because it's new for them. Like, they're learning to chew. They're learning to swallow. She's got your cough. So there's, like, a lot going on in there. Like, I think that your esophagus is small and I think hers, unfortunately, is too. And so...
we've been like really excited about the solid situation, which you're owning the solids. Okay. So Harrison is chief of solids in the household and she loves to eat, but she's been eating bananas, the chop, the serenity foods. Like we do a lot of foods like that, but you also give her ribs, right?
And so all throughout Miami, what we started doing was like if we would eat, we would get turkey bacon or something. And like she would chew on it, too. And whenever our food comes, she's starting to reach for it. And what happened was it was the day we were leaving and we went to the what's it called? Bathhouse? Pool house? Pool house in Miami. It's the Soho version.
Soho house in Miami called Pool House. We were there and we ordered the ceviche. And the ceviche came with plantain chips. And one thing I've seen people do is like, if it's a, because you wouldn't give a kid chips, but these were long, skinny plantain chips. So I put them in my mouth and I sucked on it to make it soggy.
And I was like, okay, then we can give her this because she started to want the food. So I gave her the plantain chip. And I think she got through the soggy part and she bit off part of the chip, so to speak, and inhaled it. And she was sitting in her high chair and we had heard not to buckle while they're starting to eat because if you buckle them, then it's harder to get them out.
One thing we did for Mother's Day was we went back through. We went to September 16th and 17th. And we scrolled back through memory lane of getting her here. And Harrison was like, is this emotional for you? And I was like, no, not really. Like, it was... Because a lot of people listening maybe didn't listen to the birth story episode. And my epidural didn't work.
And that sweet little girl, she inhaled that chip and. started coughing and then Harrison popped up so quick and you started hitting the back of her like we learned in the class to do because we took the CPR class before she was born, like the month before she came. And we're going to retake it now. But you did everything perfectly. You flipped her over, you started hitting her back and...
We yelled for help from the waiter just in case. And it felt like it was one minute. I think it was seven seconds total. And a lot of saliva comes out. And then out came the plantain chip. And I mean, 30... It shot. Shot. I mean, it shot out. But 30 seconds later, she was like, ah, ooh. And I was crying. So short-lived for her, but...
I'm also excited to re-up on it. And I think people listening, if you haven't done it, watch YouTube. Because I felt like you were really confident in what to do.
Blank brand.
Hey, so this is Nick. I'm calling out from Phoenix. So my algorithm just recently, I think in the last like three weeks, delivered all sorts of the cute baby videos that you guys make and between, you know, what you guys have created. Awesome little family. I am 39 years old as of a few days ago. Also, happy birthday to Harrison in a few days.
I wanted to know, I just found out I'm gonna be a dad on Christmas. So we're about three months in. What do I need to do to prepare for any of this? Because I still feel like I am very underprepared. Any advice, any things that you think going back that you wish you would have known? Anything really helps for me because I'm a first time dad at 39.
Didn't think I'd be this old, but better late than never. So I can't wait to meet my little baby boy and I wish you guys and your family all the best.
$4,500,000.
100%.
Yeah, no, I love it in theory. In reality, it hasn't shaken out. I do think that hopefully we eventually get there because I do think things should be a little more structured. And maybe this episode will force us to be a little more structured.
Well, that's what we were doing then and that's kind of what we're doing now.
Yeah, non-experiential brunches. You get the transactional food. Correct. When like one, you know, an omelet and a coffee, that's you. The minute we're doing like
Yeah, but I think that's our eating program.
About what thing?
Yeah.
The hardest stock to ever buy is the first stock you buy. Like just get in the game.
Yeah. There's like, there's a lot of work that needs to go into this. And obviously you're taking a massive piece of the workload that I can't. And so, um, I want to, I want to contribute, um, in every way I can.
I think it'll come back to, I think when I look at how things are trending on your end, it seems like on the just side that things will... shake out more 50-50 pretty soon. That'd be my prediction.
the fridge in Whistler like what and I lost an air pod I tried to do such a nice thing with like let you sleep in on that Sunday morning and go and clean the house and pack the car and it shows like as much of an all-star as you try to be when you forget like the biggest piece that matters it like overshadows it all and I got like everything but I left your pumping set in the fridge
Yeah, I think that you'd have to do some pretty complicated girl math to paint a different case. But I don't think there's anything like weird or abnormal. I'm very happy with like our current pace of things.
Such a like judgmental thing. Like Alex's financial accountability.
I can be very judgmental. So where, where I'm so impressed with this is I felt like when I met you, like your mindset was just like, buy, buy, buy. And you'd see something you'd like and you just get it and it would go in the closet and like it very well may never come out.
Like when we were moving from New York to here, like the amount of stuff in your closet that I'd never seen you wear before that like still had the price tags on it was crazy. And, um, it feels like you've definitely like drawn a line of like, Hey, do I actually need this? And I think where it gets so impressive is like with the baby world, there's an endless amount of crap you can buy.
And like, I determining what you buy is like really hard. Cause there's just so much. And you've been so thoughtful about what, um, about what you bought Tate and like our house isn't full of junk. It's full of a couple like great things that we love to use. And, um, Yeah, I'm proud of it. It's just not wasteful. It's thoughtful.
And now? Yeah, sorry?
I used to, like you, just buy so much crap. And then I realized... You just don't really need it. That's not like ultimately what makes you happy.
Yeah, I feel like you're going to snap back from this pretty hard at some point.
Now we've got to get you down on the investing program. We've got your Robinhood account set up. We've got to get the automatic deposits going.
Wait, what's the question?
Is that really the question?
Okay. Yeah, I think my answer to this at 30 would be the same at 21. Which is? And that's open up a Robinhood account or a similar type account and turn on auto deposit. So every week have money that goes in and then have that money go to a specific asset that you'd like. So I buy a lot of ETFs. There are S&P 500, Russell 3000. I typically buy the Vanguard ETF. So it's VOO and I should know this.
Those are like the tickers of what you actually buy, not financial advice. And then you just, oh, you turn on auto investment of dividends and you just let it ride. It gives you exposure to one of the best performing asset classes of all time. And what I saw was,
What I started doing this is, you know, after three, four or five years, I woke up and, you know, I was quite surprised by how much had accumulated over time. And the reason why I say start doing it as early as possible is like even if you're putting in five or ten dollars a week.
it gets you in the cadence of starting to invest, understanding the stock market, understanding your options in the stock market. And then as your wage increases, you can take that five or $10 a month and you can make it a hundred dollars a week or a thousand dollars a week and so on and so forth.
And so it's like, you know, there was a, when I first got my first job after school, like there was a,
But I forgot the pumps.
um some form of line that the guy said it was like the hardest stock to ever buy is the first stock you buy like just get in the game and so my advice to people is like get in the game open it up buy five bucks i think robin hood like gives you a free stock when you uh they do when you open it so i think though financial advice but not financial advice i think though if you're listening to this and you're like what is he talking about what is like vol what does the ticker mean
Disaster.
Totally. Never too late. And the big thing for me now is using – if you don't know anyone in your life that you want to talk – using ChatGPT as a resource for this is so helpful. Yeah. And, you know, having them like whenever I ask a question to chat GPT that I don't, you know, around a subject matter that I'm new to, I'm very clear to it. Explain it to me as someone that knows nothing about.
Yeah, it's funny when it comes to actually telling you, because I think there's like securities laws that would probably limit telling you what you can actually invest in. So you'd have to. be a little careful about how you word it, but you should have a lot of help. But that's part of why I like ETF.
So an ETF, you're buying a broad based index or something that looks a lot like a broad based index. So you're buying a basket of many, many stocks versus you can buy a single stock. Is this clear to you or no?
Is that what you did? I think so.
It's so annoying though.
That seems really expensive.
But I need more context on that number.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm very annoyed.
Yeah, I'm semi-confused by this subject and what we're talking about.
So basically, to sum it up, so the daycares we've looked at are between $5,000 and $15,000, but we won't be starting daycare for the first 12 months because we want to run the house. And we like doing a nanny share with the neighbors because... One, obviously it makes more financial sense to do – Oh, the nanny's share makes more sense.
And it's also just fun to do it with our friends.
One subject that I do want to discuss at a future episode because I was told I was not allowed to discuss it today is – I'm having so much fun having the girls. I love having the girls at the house. It's like we have this little daycare, and then whenever I'm working, I go up and I check on them. I feel like I've said that before.
But I think for the first few years of life, what I want to do is I want to have a teacher who teaches them for the first three to five years of their lives, and we have five or six kids that all come to the house, and we do all the programming, and... That would be my ideal scenario. That's how much I'm enjoying the nanny share.
Oh, she did school at home.
Wow.
There's a name for it. I didn't know there's a name for it. I was hoping that I was the inventor.
It was a joke, Alex.
No, not home... Because homeschooling is weird. People like... Oh, no.
No, homeschooling people... No, come on. Most people that are homeschooled... We know that.
Um...
Yeah, P was homeschooled.
But that's why she's so weird.
There's exceptions to the rules.
And that's why I want to get six or seven of them together. Maybe five, maybe four, maybe six. Six feels right. We'll get into this later.
I think Tim's on board. I just think it'd be for the first couple of years instead of sending them to daycare.
Okay.
I'm down to deeper subject, deeper chat on this at a future episode. The other thing Harrison's pushed for, what is it called? School at home, school at home, school at home, not homeschool, school at home.
To me, the most expensive thing for sure has been the baby mama.
Home school is when there's one school at home. We're going to say is when there's many.
Okay. Okay.
I think obviously like every, every family should make the decision that works best for their household because.
It is. But like for us, you want, like, I don't, I think you should answer this.
Yeah. And so you're making X. The nanny's costing, you know, call it significantly less than X. And so you being out, one, you make more money. But two, like we both work from home. And so we still get that time that we collectively get to spend with her, which I love.
I was once at a Jewish wedding, and the guy missed the stomping. It took him either his third or fourth try, and he was a big guy, rugby player, and he couldn't get it. He was too nervous.
Yeah.
Well, I feel like one of the parts of, of having heard that you don't talk about is like just the, the other benefits to you mentally and being able to get your time and your workouts and everything, but whatever, maybe you don't want to talk about that.
Okay. Yeah.
Okay.
$2,900 is, so in Canada, obviously it's free. Right. $2,900 is better than I would have thought. I would have thought it was going to be a lot more.
I didn't know. I just, I had no idea. And I'd heard some stories and I'd heard, I thought it was like 10 or 20 grand.
Yeah, I wonder if this is true or not true.
Just give them a call. Knock that $2,900 down at $290.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
There's also a bigger story about that guy. That guy was actually discussed at the wedding in not the greatest light, but we're not going to go down that path.
Very nice.
I thought you said it was $2,900.
So then the hospital bill, you got to add those. So then it is the $10,000. Well, it's I'm not trying to like you got to give the whole package.
OK. Maybe the dentist in the – I got to start reading the notes before these episodes. I was confused there.
I mean, the emotional toll. Just walking every day trying to figure out what personality I'm getting in the morning.
No, we actually can't.
So I haven't done a lot on this yet. But what I have done is I set up her 529 college savings account. And so we have weekly deposits that go into that.
So the reason why I thought it was a good idea is because one is it grows tax free and two, it's education related expenses. And my instinct is those will be used in, in some sense of, um, in some, in some aspect of our life.
Okay, all right. So we're moving along.
Um, So we have that going on.
And then we have, she has an Atma account. So it's like a custodial account where we can buy and sell stocks on her behalf. We have her crypto wallet. And then we, I haven't like looked into the tax break stuff because I haven't filed our taxes since she's been around. But I think there's some minor tax benefits.
Yeah, that was dumb of me.
So if your kid makes money, then you can set up a custodial Roth IRA. And you can put in up to, I think it's $7,000 a year, which grows tax-free.
Yeah, but it needs to be very legitimate. So I just read about this, and so I don't know how many people do it.
No, he just missed it.
Check with your accountant.
Really help the rhetoric on how to baby for content.
imagine imagine but i don't know like once again i think my approach to this has been obviously it it ties into into what i was saying before about just getting the ball rolling and getting things started and by by no means do i think what we've done is is maximized in in any way but um
Like, at least we've started and we can learn, hey, what are other people doing that, that is smart and makes sense? Or what are things that we should be avoiding? And so that's, that's the early start to it. And yeah.
Yeah, which I think that less than 50% of Americans have college savings plans. And obviously a lot of that is a reflection of the ability to have one, but also a lot of it is not on people's radars. They don't have the education on how to do it and so on and so forth. So I don't know. We'll see.
Yeah. And by doing it, then, you know, yeah. I actually have nothing else to add to that.
I mean, the night nurse is much more expensive than I would have thought.
Yeah.
That's probably more than I would have thought.
That's a lot of money on diapers.
I'm a firm believer of make your wedding your own, right? Like don't do your wedding the way that you think you're supposed to do it. Do it based off of the things that you enjoy and the things that you care about. And that's what I loved about this one. It was in his favorite place in the world where he has had amazing memories with.
Yeah, I think $1,500 a year on diapers is a lot.
To me, the most expensive thing for sure has been the baby mama.
Uh, I mean the emotional toll, just walking every day, trying to figure out what personality I'm getting in the morning.
You're doing an amazing job as a mother. I'm very proud of you.
Yes, here we go. Here we go. She picked it up. And I'm just thinking. She wants to throw it at me. But if she throws it at me, two things happen. Number one is she can't eat the turkey. That's the biggest problem. And she loves the turkey burgers. And number two, she knows if she throws that turkey at me, it's going to hit the window behind me and I ain't cleaning it up.
I would like to know because I did put that in the neighbor group chat and it was met with a lot of understanding and empathy. What is the craziest thing that one that has been thrown in a hormonal state from the people out there?
You'd have to do some pretty complicated girl math to paint a different case.
Yeah.
And there we are.
Yeah, I just feel like the episode's running and we need to pick up Tate.
No, yeah, he wanted me to take milk to neighbor's house and I didn't take it because I was doing something for Tate that you didn't deem to be as time sensitive as the milk.
i think you're all bark no bite you just like these jeans that i'm wearing they are so tight because you keep getting them washed and i'm like my legs i can't feel my legs i need new jeans you do all this it's crazy the laundry's gotta relax less laundry i don't know anybody that ever has asked me to do less laundry Just chill. Enjoy life.
with his now wife and he leaned into the stuff he likes and cut out the stuff he doesn't like. And the dancing was the most notable and I thought it was perfect. And it just led to a lot more time standing around the bar and drinking and hanging out and having a ton of fun. I had such a good time.
Yeah. Well, they're broken now. Oh, my knee. I tore my ACL. They're so tight.
Yeah, I hate that segment.
It's the worst one. I snooze it every time.
That's a good time for me to check Instagram.
Yeah, let's do it.
No, what I DM do was, um, uh, an article or study that came out that said a Coke takes 12 minutes off your life. And it was interesting. And then I looked at, uh, and then another study that came out that said cigarettes take, uh, every cigarette takes 11 minutes off your life. And I found that very interesting for a couple components. Um,
One is I can't believe a Coke takes more time off your life than a cigarette. Agreed. You say, of course.
Like very weird. The Coke trade-off seems terrible. The cigarette trade-off seems amazing.
Like I'm not a cigarette guy, but I mean a drunk ciggy. There's always a time and a place. And so if you're telling me that I have, let's say, six drunk cigarettes a year, that's costing me an hour of my life a year. So over 24 years, I'm losing one day of my life to drunk cigarettes.
that like my question and then in what world by the way and we also know like god knows what these studies actually are so we need to take the studies as internet studies um in what world do we have all these rules and regulations on cigarettes and like none of them on coke And can we confirm that these numbers are correctually?
Because I don't want to be running around going on this spiel if we don't actually have studies that came out. It's Coca-Cola, by the way. Yeah, Coca-Cola, not cocaine.
But if you were telling me, like, so we're good?
And the cigarette, we're 11 minutes? I tried GBT, but I want to confirm. I'm not losing a day of my life for six sodas a year over 24 years. That doesn't make sense to me. And you have so many more sodas. Maybe you should drink Better For You sodas, like an amazing brand I know called Olipop.
And then you don't die.
I didn't want to get into the studies. I just wanted to look at them as face value too.
You don't act like no one actually knows.
Yeah. I don't agree.
I, yeah, that's not where I was going with this, but I'm glad that's your take. It's very nice.
Yeah, it's a good take for you.
I'm kidding. There's a really nice one. I don't know.
I'm not going to talk about it, but I'm going to talk about it.
Well, no. So Julie, give me the stats. How much are they bringing in a year and how much are they giving to the chapters?
Okay, so they're bringing in $192 million, giving $8 million to the chapters. So one, we need some accountability or we need some transparency as to what's going on with all the cash they're raising. But then we got a study that came out which said, what does it say? So 100% of cookies, Girl Scout cookies tested, contain toxic metals and glyphosate. Okay.
Which is weed killer, okay?
Yeah, and alleged, right? Because we don't want to get sued by Girl Scout Cookies. And this is another internet study. But yeah, not a good week for the Girl Scout Cookies on the Two Parent and a Pod podcast.
Maybe that will be the new business we start is a Girl Scout cookies competitor that actually gives the money to the chapters.
And that serves better for you snacks that don't take 12 minutes off your life like potentially a Coca-Cola would. Alleged. Or a cigarette. Doesn't have toxic chemicals. And yeah.
Because this has been going on for a very long time.
And we didn't get into the brain break that I wanted.
Yeah, it was all my high school best friends. And so guys that love, still have a great relationship with, but all of us are kind of many lives removed from that. And so we haven't been in the same collective room together in quite a while. And so there was just a lot of laughing on the old times, but also making fun of the current state of life and situation. Yeah, I loved it.
No. So that's not it. It's did you know why plastic straws were banned to begin with?
So apparently a fourth grader band led to the ban of plastic straws. So this fourth grader was doing an elementary school project. They were trying to find out the waste of electric straws. They call a manufacturer. Sorry, they're trying to find out the waste of plastic straws. They call a manufacturer. The manufacturer gives them an estimate of $500 million.
They go, they put that in the school project. The school project gets local news traction. It ends up in the big publications. Boom, next thing we know, plastic straws are canceled. And you know I'm not a plastic guy, big microplastics guy. So we ban these things. Unclear why they were even banned or legitimacy of the ban. And now...
I'm sure over the next six to 12 months, we're going to see a whole bunch of microplastic testing on the plastic straws and we're going to be in a bad place again. And then the paper straw people are going to, those paper straws are terrible.
Well, what we need the answer for is how many years or how many minutes does using a plastic straw take off your life so that way the listener can run the math. But to be clear, I'm very anti-plastic.
You need to leave. Two idiots in a pod featuring Alex and Harrison.
Thanks for listening.
What? I thought that it was going to be called Two Parents in a Pod.
Yeah, she nailed her speech. But she's always been sharp and wouldn't expect anything less from her.
Well, because she only likes to face outwards. If you carry her and she's facing inwards, then she makes a bunch of noise. She likes to see where she's going. So it's literally like a sidecar.
Yeah, that's what Jane called her.
Okay.
I just, I thought that when you pitched the name, it was two parents in a pod.
My room is used as like, often guests are staying in that room. And the card was on the side of the bed that I don't sleep in. So I had no idea it was there. It's been there for many, many years. And throughout what I was thinking through is like, over the past five years since that card's been sitting there, how many guests have come, stayed at the house, stayed in my room,
And then all the things came out and it said two parents in a podcast.
And like open that bedside drawer and like looked and opened the card and read the card and then just like put it back.
He's a photographic memory. So he read the card to us and we're like, Dave, just stop.
A little confused.
Yeah, and then you spent the whole time pretending like you weren't mad, but secretly behind closed doors, you were getting very mad at me.
The craziest thing I've ever seen you do is pretend that you weren't mad about it when you did get mad about it.
You can't be mad about it. I agree you can't. But you were mad. And you pretending that you weren't mad is the craziest thing in the world.
So you're saying you didn't get mad at me?
This is the weirdest thing in the world.
Okay.
You literally looked at me in the bathroom and you're like, I am so mad at you right now.
Okay.
But admit you were mad.
We don't need to get... No, we're going to have to get into it, Harrison, if you want me to get into it.
I actually think I disagree with that, but that's okay.
We need to respect her.
We need to respect her.
Relax is a family-friendly pod. Two parents in a pod. Not two maniacs in a pod.
Relax. You're killing me here. I mean, the wedding was beautiful. So they did their vows, and you could see the mountains in the background. I was at this venue. I was at Needle Lake Lodge, which is like a five-minute walk from our house. And we, as such, walk there all the time. One of my favorite places. We are truly regulars. Special hotel on the lake.
unbelievable venue my favorite venue in all whistler so it was magical it was a magical wedding and um yeah i was glad i was there and no one was no one was getting mad at me for any contents that were written five years ago so that was nice and uh yeah i smoked cigars with the guys that was amazing we laughed you have to get that suit dry cleaned my suit was fire your suit was fire but it needs to be dry clean because it smells bad
All right, what are we talking about today?
We're in episode three of Two Parents and a Pod.
So I guess we clarify, we never did that.
I still stand. I would love to do that.
In there?
Yeah. Well, you know, unfortunately that may or may not be happening.
That was a tough learning for me. I thought you were doing the nicest thing ever. Every week, Mondays, we'd get a bunch of groceries arriving to the house. I'm like, what? Just a great initiative by Alex to keep the fridge stocked. And then I was perusing through my cards because we did this thing at work where we canceled every single credit card at our company.
And then we did that. So that way it kind of like rechecked all the recurring charges and like made everyone intentional about what, what they're putting on the card. And so it's like, you know what? Like I'm going to go and I'm going to do this, uh, for my personal card too. I'm like scrolling through and I'm just like, man, like my HEB bills are massive. I don't never ordered from HEB.
And then the light bulb went off that you stole my credit card.
You know, we sat like the nameplate above our tables where Frank Sinatra used to sit, like ob das wahr ist oder nicht. Ich habe es einfach geliebt. Die 10 aus 10 Vibes und Atmosphäre. Also gehen wir, du weißt, die ganze Bestellungssituation. Und für unsere Mainz haben wir den Parmesan und wir haben das Spezialistisch, das sie haben.
Und das Chicken Dish kommt und mein Freund Alex ist so, Harrison, du musst diesen Chicken probieren. Also nehme ich einen Biss und es fĂĽhlt sich wirklich sauer an und ich denke nicht daran. Ich bin so, weiĂźt du was, ich habe einen schlechten Biss bekommen. because he comments again on the chicken and I go back and I try it again. I'm like, man, I just don't really like it.
It feels like kind of fatty chicken. And then maybe five minutes goes by and our buddy Jake just like pauses. He's like, Das Fleisch ist rauch. Er hat halb das Fleisch genommen. Du konntest es in der Mitte sehen. Wenn das Fleisch, sagen wir mal, drei Inch von oben bis unten war, waren zwei Inch rauch. Nicht so, dass es gekocht ist oder nicht gekocht ist, sondern rauch.
I'm gonna be like, yeah, you gotta get something new to focus on.
So, the question then comes, so we tell them, and it was like, it was bad.
They were definitely like, whoa, and the manager was awesome and like, made a couple jokes about it. But then the question became, when you get, not undercooked chicken, when you get raw chicken, what should the restaurant do?
So it was a $500 meal for the three of us. You think they should have comped the entire thing?
I had a full bite of the chicken.
Yeah, they only comped the dish and brought dessert.
But if someone's coming in. And then, and sorry, when do you think you should start with the happy holidays?
No, we debated what was the appropriate action. Because like, it was an expensive meal. There were a lot of drinks.
Und was so seltsam ist, ist, dass der Service so gut war. Aber dann, wo es seltsam wird, ist, wie zum Beispiel, wir haben die Szene seltsam bestellt. Alex hatte nur Bier, Jake hatte nur Tequila-Soda und ich hatte nur Aperol Spritz. Spritzes. Also hatten wir alle, sagen wir mal, zwei, drei, vier von ihnen. Sie wussten unsere Trinkhäuser. Sie haben nicht mal eine Runde trinken geliefert.
Sie haben keine Komponente trinken geliefert. Witzig genug, sie wussten unsere Trinkhäuser bis zu dem Punkt, dass du angerufen hast und eine Runde trinken geliefert hast von Tate. Yeah, they didn't comp that round.
Ja, wir konnten nicht, wir hatten kein GefĂĽhl daran. Also haben wir gesagt, wir bringen es in den Pott und sehen, was du in der Internetseite gedacht hast.
Ich denke, der Total, der sich zurĂĽckgegeben hat, war etwa 75 Dollar.
Und es ist witzig, weil der Manager hat mich getextet. Und... Hast du mir gesagt, dass du FĂĽĂźe verpestest hast?
Nein, aber ich meine, wie... Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah, he texts me. Mr. Fugman, Oliver here from... I just want to reach out and offer another sincere apology for our lapse in service and hospitality that night. I take full responsibility for that. If you ever need anything, please never hesitate to reach out. All the best. And it's like, the service was fucking amazing.
This Oliver guy was fucking amazing. But like...
Okay, so you're saying you start the happy new year after Thanksgiving.
I agree. And the hair does not justify a comped meal. I think the hair justifies a new dish brought back. Not even comped. It's a hair because I would argue that a hair over half the time is from the person who ordered the dish.
Aber du hast schwarzen Haar in deinem Kopf. Schau dir dein Kopf an. Es ist ein Haufen Schwarz.
Die Mädchen lachen. Ich sehe Schwarz. Du hast ein bisschen Julies Haarfarbe in dir.
Well, just get a little more paste on there next time.
She does the paste, no?
Yeah, and use a little more.
For something as like meh as a hair.
Okay. You? I think that... Into the Thanksgiving week, it's like, hope you have a great Thanksgiving. Then Thanksgiving week, happy Thanksgiving. And then I think the week after Thanksgiving, you say, hope you had a great Thanksgiving. And then after that week, you transition to happy holidays. Happy holidays, you ride till Gen 1. Gen 1, you go, happy new year. Happy new year, really a week of it.
Swallowed hair? You know how fast I eat. You think I'd notice if some hair got caught in there?
I've never noticed that.
I inhale my food.
found a fake fingernail in her pancake and I know you think I'm lying but I'm not and I've not been to IHOP since then but to me like a fake fingernail that is like it's undisputable on whether it came from the kitchen or whether it came from the table number one and like that's so extreme that is a full meal comp 100%
I'm with you.
I feel like I have some others. For Fantasy Football League this year... Der Verlierer muss zu Waffle House gehen und 24 Waffeln essen. Er muss 24 Waffeln essen. Entschuldigung, lass mich das wiederholen. Der Verlierer, der Alex ist, muss zu Waffle House gehen. Er muss 24 Stunden bei Waffle House sein. FĂĽr jede Waffel, die er isst, muss er eine Stunde reduzieren. Was denkst du davon?
Es ist ein ziemlich normaler Fantasy-Football-Punsch.
Oh mein Gott, 19, ja. 24 Stunden im Tag. Sorry, ja, ja, hier geht's. 19 Stunden. Also wenn er da ist und 24 Waffeln isst, kann er weg.
I'm considering going there with him and then helping him with the waffles.
No? No. But I like hanging out with him so much and that way I can help him do more waffles.
I've done it like maybe one or two times, but they were so late that... Ich konnte dir nicht erzählen, wie es riecht.
Ich wĂĽrde gerne Sausage-Links trinken.
I think past a week is a bit of a stretch.
Und Alex isst wie ein Pferd. Dieser Kerl, er hat nicht 24 Waffeln in ihm.
Alex eats for taste. He doesn't eat to get full. It's unbelievable.
So I'm not allowed to go and help him?
I don't know how this relates. I don't know.
Well, let's talk about... I feel like this kind of relates to the concert little schtick that my buddy's been pulling off.
No, but maybe some judging.
Well, that's the whole point. The holidays are done, so you're allowed to judge. The judge-free era ends.
That's how we found out about it.
Und ich werde nicht seinen Namen sagen. Können wir... Aber wie... Er ging zum Taylor Swift Konzert für 100 Dollar.
Okay, und wie hat er das gemacht? Also, er ging zu... Das ist in L.A. passiert. Und er ging nach SoFi Stadium früh. Und er ging so nah, wie er konnte, um... zu der Sicherheitsgürtel-Aktion. Er hat einen Sicherheitsgürtel gefunden und ist aufgehört. Er hat gesagt, hey Mann, ich gebe dir 100 Dollar, wenn du mich ins Stadion escorten kannst. Und dieser Kerl hat ihn direkt auf den Boden escortet.
Auf dem Boden.
Er hat ihm eine Rippe gesetzt und er hat sich eingepackt.
Das ist das, was mein Freund auf mehr als einer Angelegenheit gemacht hat.
Ja.
Ja, aber wenn du jemandem gehst, wie du es mir erklärt hast, wenn du zu ihm gehst und sagst, hey Mann, hier ist 100 Dollar. Willst du mich in den Stadion und auf dem Boden nehmen? Sie können einfach Nein sagen und dann kannst du einfach in den nächsten gehen.
Let's try it.
I am a ticket snob. I am. Aber ich mag auch Komfort. Ich mag es nicht, ĂĽber meine Schulter zu schauen.
Ja, absolut.
NatĂĽrlich.
Bieber hat ein Privatkonzert in Hongkong gemacht. Ich glaube es waren 250-200 Leute da. Das war sĂĽĂź. Und das war in der Kruste seines Musik-Making-Zeits.
Ich muss die Agenda beobachten, Alex.
Bubber, can you defend me here, please?
Yeah, you don't respect boundaries and holidays as we've learned over time.
No, no, no. Ich bin mit dir.
Deine Augenbrauen sehen toll aus.
Danke. Ein kleiner Tipp für jeden, der immer mit den Mädchen verrückt wird. Geh direkt für die Augenbrauen. Sag ihnen, dass sie toll aussehen.
Yep. Yep.
Ja.
Ich denke, die größte Unterschiede in der Ratio zwischen Männern und Frauen ist, wie oft Männer die Schuhe ändern, versus wie oft Männer die Schuhe ändern.
Frauen.
Like as a single dude?
How often? Enough.
Enough.
No, no, no.
Way more.
Uh, I would think twice a month.
Uh, I had more leniency on that.
No, I think I had four.
It really looks like the house of a toddler.
Wow.
Ja, was ist das?
Ist das ermöglicht? Ist das etwas, was Leute tun? Oder ist das so, dass ich mehr lernen möchte?
Ja, wir sind große Träner für die letzten zwölf Stunden.
So lange sie es liebt.
Yeah, it's a disaster.
Totally.
Okay.
What else do we want to talk about on this week's episode of Just Alex?
What other parenting bits are we on right now?
That's like a crazy thought.
You didn't tip our babysitter?
I think that you go two options. Either one you tip or two you order them dinner.
I haven't even thought about it. You've been handling all that. No wonder our babysitters don't come back.
Good. Good, I'm supportive of that.
Yeah.
And I also think we're surrounded with a lot of parents with a lot of different parenting styles and so we've been lucky to see like parents live, you know, things very tight and very strict and we've seen parents living things more open and, you know, then kind of seeing all the different ways people are doing and then kind of
um das zu verändern, wie wir es machen und was du dir mit komfortabel machst.
Aber was ich auch von meiner Seite gesehen habe, ist, dass du natürlich Routine liebst und du liebst, zu Hause zu sein, aber es fühlt sich auch so an, als wenn ich deine mentalen Zustände am besten sehe, ist es, wenn es eine Aktivität außerhalb des Hauses gibt, und ob das eine Wanderung auf der Straße ist oder, wie du gesagt hast, in den Grocery-Store zu gehen oder sie zu...
Um, uh, somewhere else, like it feels like that, that does, you know, put, put a bit of a pop in your step. So, um, yeah, yeah. We built our little circle of people that we rely on and obviously bounce a lot off our pediatrician and, um, our, our finding, um,
And then the same thing with traveling. Like, we've done it a couple times. We now see, hey, it is... Es ist ein Event, es kostet viel Zeit, es kostet viel Ressourcen, es kostet viel Arbeit, also die Bar ist hoch fĂĽr uns zu reisen, aber wir werden es definitiv fĂĽr die richtige Reise machen.
You know, I like your approach to patients around the house. Around like, we're giving us, what's the word you use? Giving us grace.
Is grace a lady? Giving us grace. I feel like grace is a word in the English dictionary. A word for patience.
Yeah, it's a disaster. It really looks like the house of a toddler.
No. Who's grace? Who is grace?
Ich liebe Weihnachten. Ich bin auf Weihnachtsfilmen.
Ja, ich glaube, sie sind alle ein Schnitzelfest.
Christmas Vacation, ich weiĂź, dass ich fĂĽr das waschen werde, aber ja, ich mag nicht Weihnachtsfilme. Ich habe Elf die ersten zwei bis drei Mal gesehen, aber ich finde Elf, Priscilla hat Elf gesagt, ich finde es ein bisschen seltsam. Ich mag es nicht. Ich weiĂź nicht. Ich mag diese Filme nicht. Ich mag nicht Weihnachtsfilme.
But what do you think we actually would have done?
Also, ich habe das mal gesehen und ich möchte es definitiv noch mal sehen. Das ist das, was ich durchführen kann. Und wenn ich sage durchführen, dann werde ich wahrscheinlich noch auf meinem Handy für 75 Prozent davon sein. Ich liebe sie einfach. Ja, wie die beiden Weihnachtsfilme, die du am Sonntag gesehen hast. Ich brauchte NFL Red Zone auf meinem Laptop, um im Raum zu sein.
Es war die Weihnachtszeit und die Family Stone.
So, the question then becomes, when you get raw chicken, what should the restaurant do?
Right?
Yeah, I agree.
Oh yeah, I wanted to share this news to go live on the podcast, but you wouldn't let me.
Yeah, I don't know if you're the best guesser.
I take that back.
I think America is the best country in the world and that's why I choose to live here.
Yeah, I've been applying for visas since 2010. I got my first visa. It was a student visa for an internship. And then I think since then I've probably had four other visas. So I have gone through the process. And now you're on a visa called a... I don't know if I want to tell the internet what visa I'm on. Why? I don't know. I feel like I'd rather not share that.
I don't know.
Also es gibt die Studenten-Visa, dann gibt es die TN-Visa. Was ist das? TN, ich weiĂź nicht, ob das fĂĽr die Leute interessant wird. Das ist eine Visa, die ich denke, ist unter NAFTA, dem Nordamerikanischen Freitag-Verein, das einen ziemlich sauberen Prozess fĂĽr Kanadier erzeugt, um zu kommen. Aber ich denke, das kann man fĂĽr ein Maximum von fĂĽnf Jahren nutzen.
Und dann habe ich ein L1B gemacht, das ist ein internationales Transfer-Visa. Und dann habe ich, viele Leute machen das H1B, ich habe das noch nicht gemacht. Und es gab einen anderen, den ich angemacht habe. Und der aktuelle, den ich drei Jahre angemacht habe, und jetzt habe ich nur mein drittes Jahr.
Ja, ich, ich, ich, du weiĂźt, ja, du musst die Regeln folgen und das Ding machen.
Ja, wir machen den dualen Glaubenshaushalt und dualen Landentwicklung.
Aber was denkst du, wir eigentlich hätten getan?
I think that Canada has a treaty around visas with the UK that you can go there for a year pretty easily. I don't know what the US standard with it is.
I think what would have happened is we would have gone to Vancouver and we would have moved there like in February and we would have like lived in Whistler and then Whistler February, March.
I don't think Vancouver would have worked because I think we would have gone there and I think you would have like, you know, we would have kind of done the winter in Whistler and you would have loved that and then we would have rolled into the summer in in der Stadt und zwischen Whistlin, dann wĂĽrdest du das lieben.
Aber dann denke ich, dass September geschehen würde und der Regen würde geschehen. Und ich denke, September, Oktober, November, das würde dich einfach verletzen. Und ich denke, dass wir damit kreativ sein sollten. Aber haben wir jemals über unsere geplante Pläne, in Europa zu kommen, gesprochen?
Aber du hast noch nie mit Vancouver und dem Regen gesprochen. Und ich liebe Vancouver, aber diese regnige Saison ist hart.
Yeah. Well, when we moved here, the tentative plan was we were going to do like, whatever, nine months here and then three months in Whistler over the summer.
You really think we're still going to do that? I don't know.
Ich denke, dass das nicht so sein wird.
Ja, mein Gott ist, wir werden einen Monat in Paris, einen Monat in Whistler und dann wahrscheinlich einen Monat im Sommer hier. Ich liebe es. Ich liebe es.
Ich bin gespannt. Ja, und wenn wir ein Apartment in Paris bekommen und dann können wir rumlaufen und andere Orte in Frankreich und anderen Ländern sehen, denke ich, es wird wirklich cool. Haben wir darüber gesprochen, dass das der Plan war, dass wir den Sommer in Paris verbringen? Nein.
100%.
So when can you start saying happy holidays? And then if you're saying it ends January 1st, how long do you say happy new year for?
How was traveling the second time around versus the first time around? With a baby?
Es machte mich lachen, wie viel wir die erste Zeit gepackt haben, wie viel wir auf dem Flugzeug gebracht haben. Und dann die zweite Zeit, als wir uns erkannt haben, dass wir nur ein paar Stiefel, eine Blase und das Pumping-Stuff brauchen.
You give happy new year a month? That's ridiculous.
Das ist so, wie du es tust. Du hast phänomenal die Anzahl auf die Reisen und Logistik gesteckt. Ich bin ihr Führer. Die Rollen haben niemals mehr umgekehrt als als wir angefangen haben zu daten. Und ich fühlte, als ob die Reisen und Logistik komplett von dir geführt wurden. Und jetzt mit ihr, wie die Reisen und Logistik sind.
Entschuldige, Reisen und Logistik wurden frĂĽher von mir gefĂĽhrt, und jetzt sind sie komplett von dir gefĂĽhrt.
Aber du hast auch, du hast die Koordinierung gemacht, die Snus zu wo immer wir bleiben. Und ich fühle mich, als würdest du all die wichtigen Dinge nehmen. Nun, Semi-Pivot. Ich habe eine Geschichte, die in L.A. passiert ist, die ich dir nicht erzählt habe, die ich für den Podcast sagen wollte.
I saved it for the pod. Wow. So when I had like a holiday guys dinner with two friends. Love it. So three of us went out for food and we went to a restaurant. I'm forgetting the name. Let me pull it up. We may want to beep it. But we may want to cut that out. So, in this place, like you walk in, the vibe is awesome. We get sat down, like they've got the nameplates at the tables.
I think first week, no brainer. I think the second week, you're kind of stretching it.
Just look at how long that was.
Slap on the wrist trouble. Slap on the wrist trouble. Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
Best burger in New York.
Yes, this is true.
God.
Understandable.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm going to call him now.
I can't see laptops.
All right.
I'm not watching that show.
You know, I'm not, I need new shows. You should try adolescence.
I rewatched Sicario. It's such a good movie. What is it? Sicario.
Yeah.
Cause we can't bring babies to movie theaters.
I don't think so either.
Julie and Janine Paris.
I think so.
Yeah, it doesn't miss. We did burnt hens too.
I couldn't find it.
Yes, the marathon.
Yeah, but it would be a lot of extra effort.
Yeah, but it would be a lot of extra effort.
Yeah, I'm interested in it.
Well, this, I'm... I think... I'm easier to please on the housing front than you. And I am okay to- And my biggest concern would be that we move somewhere and that you have an issue with it. Because I'm a dreamer, as you say, when it comes to the home. So I see, yeah.
Okay. I'm into this.
So getting your approval is going to be harder than getting my approval.
But what are the three L's of real estate?
So moving on, what else do we have to talk about?
So I uploaded a video of you talking to Tate on the boat.
But I guess, could I do that for myself too?
Sorry.
Sorry, what were we talking about?
I saw a bunch of people I'm going to bring the trains back on the track. I saw a bunch of people kind of getting in the mud on sunscreen in the comments on the video because you talked about sunscreen. So I've learned a couple things.
No, I just saw they were arguing. So if we're honest, I didn't read the comment section. I just saw a bunch of sunscreen, this back and forth. And then like someone calling someone else a Karen and whatever. So I went to chat GPT, as I always do. And I explained... I just kind of put the situation. And so the things I learned, number one, you cannot put sunscreen on babies under six months.
Okay. I thought she didn't wear sunscreen because we kept her out of the sun.
But it's for adults as well.
So that definitely makes a lot more sense now. But number two is people are just very mad about what is in sunscreen and the chemicals that are in sunscreen and a lot of different issues that they're tied to.
Well, I didn't research that. But what I researched is – oh, we got a hand up.
So Julie said zinc.
Well, what Chachi BC said to wear was mineral-based sunscreens with zinc oxide or titanium dioxide. And what it said to avoid was oxybenzone, octinoxate, going to butcher all these, homosalate, avobenzone,
octocrylene we probably don't need these retinol palomite we probably don't need them listed yeah we do yeah we do because they're hormone disruptors oh and they're linked to endocrine disruption uh potential reproductive harm potential thyroid effects potential reproductive toxicity potential skin irritation and allergic reaction
potential cancer risks so yeah sunscreen is yeah this whole sunscreen phenomenon was not on my radar but i think that there's more of a risk for cancer if you don't wear it but i think the point is you got to wear the right ones yeah i think zinc oxide sounds because it does make in theory a lot of sense that like you put if you're putting chemicals on your skin and then they're bleaching into your skin that's also very bad
But I guess what I just realized, and we should probably set the stage for the viewer who didn't listen to the episode we're talking about. I said that, I guess this ties into two separate conversations we've had.
Well, maybe we're working on a body wash.
As an extension of Plastic Purge.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're working on a bunch of extensions from the laundry detergent.
Yeah, all undergoing testing right now.
Yeah, just I didn't have the whole sunscreen thing on my radar.
Okay. As long as there's no spoilers.
So is this a new segment?
So it sounds like a temporary segment that we're trying called Table Topics.
Okay.
The first conversation is how I want a phone, a different phone for after 5 p.m., where the only thing that phone has is Google Maps, the ability to make and receive calls, and the ability to send text messages. I want it to have zero social media, zero video.
Am I allowed to be on my phone?
I never really knew my stance on kids because, And I think I always wanted them, but I just didn't know when the time would be right. And, and then I met you and I was like, okay, it's time for kids. So, um, I feel like this question was directed towards you and feel like it's a funny dynamic of, you know, being set as such an advice, heavy question, but I'm curious, um,
I guess where it has a lot of relevance for you is like you walked away from a marriage, like you got divorced. And, and so I see, um, yeah. What do you think?
Yeah.
Sorry, I had a thing in my throat. It's okay. Um... I really feel for this person that... Yeah, I really feel for this person. And I also like really understand how... It's weird because like we don't know how old they were when they got married. But like I do understand how your view on this can change.
I'm now, I now delete. I used to be every 15 minutes. I'd turn it off every eight hours now.
Because it went from something that I really didn't have like a true gut feeling around to one day it like smacking me across the face on how much I wanted it.
I think it was about finding the right person.
Yeah.
Yeah. And I think kids to me were always like almost one of those things that I figured like I would do when the time felt right. The time just never felt right. And and so what changed it from the time feeling right to not was.
was the person and if not it otherwise always kind of felt like okay so i check the box of life phases and it was like you know it's a pretty big box to check for the sake of doing something that society just does right but as opposed to feeling and wanting it totally
Yeah. And I guess on that note, like it is remarkable how quickly it's not quickly. It is remarkable how much life has changed over a five to 10 year period. And like my friends and what they were doing five plus years ago is what they're doing today is very different. And it's been it's been a lot of fun over the past decade.
No, but to keep the train on the track, So that was conversation one of what we want after five o'clock. And we were this week talking about boundaries of the phone in the home. And and then number two is we talked we've talked a lot about the book, The Anxious Generation and how it suggests not giving your kid a smartphone until 16.
you know, 18 months going plus minus going through that phase with them as that's Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, I think that There's very few deal breakers that I personally have around relationships. And I think that hopefully in our relationship, when we have differences, which obviously we do a lot, that our mindset is like, one, do you want to work through this problem? And then two, are we prepared to actually put the work in to solve it?
And I feel like the answer to that is, has always been yes. But there are going to be areas where we draw a line in the sand. And I do think the kids is one of those areas for a lot of people. So I understand why, you know, that can be it as hard as it is to walk a reason to walk.
That's why I said it's a deal breaker.
For sure. Like for sure. And it's obviously a weird place because as two people that have only been together for 18 months, it's weird to be giving –
couple and relationship advice and so i think a lot of it like stems from you know our decades of prior dating and marriage um with no qualifications but yeah i think we very much have that mindset of like when when one comes to the other with something having an open mind
but also understanding where our, where our, our firm lines are, because we, I think it's also become clear, like we do have firm lines each, um,
And it ties anxiety and a whole bunch of mental health issues to anxiety. the large scale penetration of smartphones with kids. And so this kind of could solve two birds with one stone. And do we want, what would you think of doing only Apple watches in the house for us after a certain time?
Also, I didn't have any feelings to kids like any true like feelings for kids before we had tape. And now my relationship, even with our neighbor's kid, I've never had a relationship with a kid like our neighbor's kid prior to having Tate. She taught me a new way to love, a new way to care.
Which is why I'm so pro the neighbor share.
The neighbor nanny.
The neighbor babysitting.
I'm still not there. Oh, I think they're just precious. Unless, like, I know them.
I'd actually disagree. Sorry, not disagree. I want to change my thoughts. I'm thinking of a couple of, funny enough, your friends' kids that I really enjoy seeing the photos of them when they come up online.
Yeah.
One of them I haven't even met.
You know who I'm talking about.
Yeah.
Yeah. She is a little doll. I DM the mom and we talk about how they're going to be friends.
Yeah. That's cute. Good job.
What would that time be appropriately?
I've found that I've personally grown the most through my experiences in living in different cities, living in different countries, and traveling. Removing my backbone of...
Five seems a little early. Six. Six feels like pretty good.
or taking me out of my comfort zone, removing a lot of that imminent support just really pushed me to get in uncomfortable situations, learn about myself, and ultimately land where I am today, which is just like I'm a very happy person. So I think that while I love Vancouver and I love my friends in Vancouver and I love my family, I also recognize that city is not the best city for me.
And I could only realize that because I had so many experiences in living in other places. And I think the beauty of leaving is you can always go back.
I think that moving forward, if this segment sticks, we should request listeners leave their age.
And we want to lock them in. Do we want to like put them in a drawer?
Yeah. I think, I think this is one that I feel very equipped to share my experiences on. And that is, um, take a shot, move. If you don't like it, move back. Um,
I like this.
Yeah. When I look at all the cities I've lived in, the first three to six months is typically a pretty tough time. That's when you can deal with some lonely Friday and Saturday nights. But part of that also brings growth. It's good for you. Because you don't have anyone to go and hang out with. And so you end up...
I like this.
walking in or getting dinner by yourself and um yeah i think 12 months is probably the the right time to to feel out whether or not you you like your place um and one of the things that i really like to do before moving somewhere we did it with austin is like go somewhere and don't go there for the weekend go there during the week and um i call it you know the cup of coffee um
the cup of coffee test, even though it's not a test, but I guess you're testing a city and that's, you know, leverage your network, whatever you way possible and whatever way possible and go to that city and try and get as many cups of coffee with people as you can and understand what their day-to-day life is like in that city.
Um, and I feel like that gives you as good of a pulse as, as you can on, um, on what you would potentially think and getting a read on what's a coffee shop like there on a Tuesday and so on and so forth.
No.
Do we have any other listener questions?
Love it.
This is just moving right along.
Yeah, so I feel like my social feeds are all about all these airplane crashes and all these airplane incidents. As you know, I'm a nervous flyer.
And so it felt like there was way more going on this year than other years. And I saw an article. Pardon?
So I saw an article comparing January and February of 2024 versus January, February 2025 plane crashes. So both total accidents and fatal accidents. And there's been significantly less this year than there have been last year. So there's been 42% less accidents. So 99 this year and 173 in 2024. Is this just aviation? This is Jan and Feb, plane. Plane. Yeah. And then fatal accidents, 54.8% less.
So there's been 14 fatal accidents this year and there was 31 fatal accidents in Jan and Feb of last year.
Yeah.
Yeah, I found that really surprising as well.
Yeah, and it's just stuff.
Under a dark topic.
Interesting. I did not see this DM.
Okay.
What do you think of all this?
Would you go to space?
Okay. Like you would go tomorrow.
Where my take on this actually goes is I don't think 11 minutes classifies as going to space. I think you need to go up there and you need to hang out. You need to have a meal.
uh as you know alex cost and i we um go to space no we're trying to go to every country in the world yes okay and we had to come up with some ground rules on what defines actually visiting a country and our definition of whether or not you visited a country is you have an experience outside of the airport so memorable experience outside the airport
Exactly. That would count. OK. But if you're connecting through Frankfurt, Germany, and you're just in the airport and have a Wiener schnitzel. That does not count. But if you go and you leave the airport and you take a taxi to the closest town and get a Wienerschnitzel at that town, that would count as a memorable experience outside of the airport. So Ben, for example... was in Colombia.
He was connecting in Colombia after they'd won some big World Cup match. And he left the airport, went downtown, partied in some parade, had a couple beers, and then went back. And that was our prototype definition for what counts and what doesn't count.
Yeah.
So bringing you back to space, I think if you're just kind of going up there... having a high five and coming back. It doesn't really feel like you're leaving the airport.
There's some term, but like you got to be up there for a bit. I don't know.
What do you think of the house?
I don't know. Love that it's all women. Love that they're technically doing it.
Yeah, that sounds pretty cool. I'll do it in a minute. I'm too scared of a flyer to do it right now.
It is very cool. I'm just being a bit of a hater.
Yeah, I feel like I'm about to get in an internet war with babysitters. Three things have not lined up with me on the babysitters. One is just the cancellations. which we talked about before. Two is they're just super expensive. And then three is we haven't gotten a cadence with a regular babysitter.
I think her husband's named Gail.
Shout out Oprah.
Yeah, I think it's a San Francisco-based company and now they're rolling out to a bunch of different cities and the Austin takeover has been real.
What do you think of these?
Yeah, I think the statistics pretty clearly reflect that.
No.
I have not rode in one. I'm conflicted on this one, because on one end, I'm like a pro-technology person.
I love technological advancement, and yeah, I would describe myself as an early adopter. But this is one where my old man tendencies are really kicking in. I just want to yell at them.
I don't know. They just infuriate me.
Yeah. Yeah.
By definition, I think I would love them. But in reality, I just like... They drive me crazy.
I just want to yell at them.
You know? I don't know. The freaking thing just twisting around at the top.
It's like you're a fucking nerd.
I don't know. I can't describe this one.
Yeah. So I, I think the, the way they track the, the safety of all this stuff to my understanding is, uh, like miles driven per accident. And one of the things that, that Tesla like loves to tout is their miles driven per accident on autonomous mode is significantly lower than human mode.
I'm sure there's like some stat that we can pull up, which, which supports that regardless of what you think about Tesla. Um, And so, yeah, the people behind these autonomous vehicles, they are very vocal that they are safer than humans.
And the stats really seem to reflect this.
And so reintroducing them to Tate and what she likes and what she doesn't like, it just seems like so much effort. And so... Um, like that's been the one piece or one of the pieces that I feel like we like haven't figured out is like the right babysitter.
It's a great thing. And so there was... But sometimes you just need to be an old man and yell at the clouds. And this is my moment. Let me yell at the clouds.
It's taking hard workers' jobs.
You know, I'm a firm believer, yes. Saving lives. The economic benefit of AI and autonomous vehicles. And I do actually love them. I'm just like being...
I do like them.
Thank you for listening.
And we've all, we've been talking for months with the neighbors about doing the, the neighbor swap instead of a babysitter where once a week they watched our kid. And once a week we watched their kid and yeah, I finally wanted to put it into play. And it kind of feels like both like the guys were really wanted to like push it forward. And you and her were kind of like a little more don't ask.
When you shut your eyes, is that where you want to spend the next five years?
And so I just like, yeah, I went direct. Like, I didn't ask your permission to do it. I just went to them and was like, I think we should rip the Band-Aid off. And they were like, hell yeah. And so it went great.
And that's why... Like I really want us to return the favor ASAP. Yeah, me too. Because we haven't done it yet. Because we love spending time with their daughter so much that like I think once we do it and you experience like, oh, this isn't like really an added lift, then hopefully that feeling goes away.
I actually don't.
Yeah, I love the neighbor swap. Look, I love it.
And Tate also loves them and they love Tate. Yeah, it's not for every night, but I'm really glad we have it in the mix.
All right. Looks like we're talking at four. Okay. Well, let's get this show on the road.
Yeah. I think that, that not having a dedicated side of bed is, is one of the crazier moves I've, I've heard of as it, as it pertains to relationship, like routine and dynamics, like it's your side. It's,
Yeah.
I think, I just don't, I'm not a face wash guy.
And it went right away. It went away, right away.
Is the zit there? Do a little zoom in on the HD.
When we met, you were not a germaphobe. And the most lasting change that pregnancy has brought to you and having a kid has brought to you is you're now a germaphobe.
Yeah.
I'm going to tell a Zillow story.
Um, so my weekly average on Zillow and we can probably put this up there is like somewhere. I looked at my like last four weeks, somewhere between like an hour and a half and two hours a week.
No, that's just on my mobile.
Not on my desktop.
For some reason. Well, no, it doesn't track between the two. Zillow is my number one used service. I love it.
I like you. A friend of ours moved into a new place. They were telling us about the place. I told them the history of the place. I'd spoken to the real estate agent. I knew about the buyer. I knew what their focus was. I knew that they were, you know, had moved to New York, yada, yada, yada. pride and joy.
I wake up every morning and what I do every morning on Zillow is I set the time span to listings over the past day. So I can see just what popped up overnight. So I look less. I'm the Zillow guy. Do we agree?
The house that we've been referencing throughout this episode.
I've never seen, so who found that house?
Our Zillow ratios, and you're a Zillow girl too, but I thought I was like the king of Zillow.
You're a Zillow master.
Yeah, I couldn't believe it.
It is, like, it is, I spend more time on it than I do TikTok.
I do so much, because the Austin real estate markets have been going down. I just look at every, I could tell you, the house, the, like, list price versus where they are today is, like, one of my favorite things to watch.
Yeah, well, I think I've talked about this. We built a house growing up, and so when I remember seeing that house versus what it became, I saw what you can make something, and I really want to do that. And I understand you don't do that now, but hopefully for our next house we do it.
Yeah, I don't think you understand the power. Let me go. I don't think you understand the power of a financially responsible remodel.
Every time we talk about the remodel, you're like, that's going to be this much, this is so expensive. I'm like, just like, no, it's not.
I think you can do it in a much more price... Savvy way. Savvy way. Thank you.
What did Julie just say?
No, Julie just worded something. Julie said, I want to go to Paris too.
Would Julie come?
Julie in Paris, a new show.
Julie and Ginny in Paris. Oh my God. Okay. Hey, I respect. Moving on. Oh my gosh.
Okay, maybe back.
My concern is that what I asked you is, do you want to be patient and deal with like a short-term housing situation while we find what we want? Or do you just want to make a decision in our specific time window before April 15th, which may not be our ideal...
Wait, so please explain it to me.
housing situation because a lot of stuff is coming to market what did i say you you said that uh you really don't want to be in a different you really don't want to move twice but you would if you think that's the right thing to do and so as such i kind of feel like where you shouldn't put an offer in on this house today okay i i'm with you on that i just i do there is a number that i do think you should just offer and if they accept it whoa okay
That would be fun. No, and I got to pick up the slack. I'm with you.
Our sex lives.
I got you the wrong flowers on Valentine's Day this year.
Yeah. Is that a Canada versus U.S. thing?
Yeah. Yeah. Which is more than us. Just over 300.
Yeah. We're born with 200. Adults have 200 bones.
Yeah.
Yeah. Damn, I thought I was going to get you with like some viral moment of... Yeah.
Well, mommy, daddy words, official statement, no swing in front of child.
I mean, these Instagram D to C kid marketers, they're fucking good.
Yeah, they price it perfectly.
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I'm trapped. And then you're buying them for three months, so it's like, oh my God, you have three, four months to wear this.
I did London Marathon, South Africa Marathon.
Yeah, the timing of these things is hard. So I just got a text from my sister. They were at a charity event last night and they auctioned a Taylor Swift box off. So the face value of this box for the Taylor Swift concert in Vancouver is $40,000. Guess how much the box sold for at the auction?
Wow. Do we need to check that math? My brain is dead. Is that what it is? $20,000 a ticket? $19,880 or something. $800,000. 18. Wow, good math.
I couldn't have even pinned that.
Yeah, I am. It's been a long couple days.
It's been a long couple days. We're moving slow today.
Well, when we were looking into going, I heard that the suites were trading for $150,000. I got, I got a ticket. I can do that math.
Oh, that's why you're so, my God.
I'm thinking of all the things you can do for $280,000 as opposed to go... And in a suite, you don't even get a good view. Suites are not a great place to watch concerts from.
Or you can watch Taylor Swift.
For three hours.
Do you think she lip syncs?
Okay. I don't think she... I was asking. Because vocals in those stadiums, I feel like, can be pretty hard. I don't know how she trained for it. Oh, I'd love to hear. She ran on a treadmill for four hours straight, full belting all of her songs.
Do you want to repeat that? Because I don't like the mic.
We are good friends, her and I.
I kind of think we're pals.
This to me just feels so Austin.
The dudes in Austin on that trail are so jacked. And may I say, so hot. I've never seen such fit people in a city than these dudes who are just lapping that loop.
I like never see girls on that.
Well, I think we go walking at different times.
I just got to know how far away I am from taking my shirt off on that loop. I'm far away from taking my shirt off on that loop right now. This has been like a bad couple weeks. I got to get, I got to reset. I got to get back on my program.
Okay.
I think there's so many things that I'm thinking about in terms of the care of her that are above thinking about when we can start swearing in front of her or not.
A race?
I've ran races like I've never signed up for one and not shown up. And to the point like when I ran the San Francisco and I've done two full marathons and a handful of other races. But like for the San Francisco half marathon, I was probably out till like two in the morning beforehand. Rain or shine, asleep at 9 p.m., asleep at 3 a.m., I always show up.
You can always find it.
Yeah. John Bones Jones, I guess, talked of whenever he would have a fight coming up, he'd make sure to go get really fucked up one night ahead of the fight. So that way, if he lost, he always had like an excuse on how he could get better next time.
I think the biggest reason I didn't do it is I didn't like the city it was in. And I didn't want to go to Dallas. Yeah. If that thing was in Austin, I would have run it no matter. Lugging up there with her and lugging her back and being in a city that, frankly, I have zero fun in. Actually, that's not true. Yeah, I'm not a Dallas guy.
I don't really get that city.
It was the use of schlep. But it was a schlep to a place that I didn't think we were going to have a lot of fun in.
But the point of races is having fun around the race.
Yeah, like London Marathon. It's not just the marathon. It's the escapades beforehand. It's the night out after.
I did London Marathon, South Africa Marathon, Cape Town.
Yeah, no, we, we do big dinners before the race. We would do big dinners the night after the race.
Yeah, now I'm just kind of awkward because we're glorifying. I also think the most annoying thing about marathon people is they talk about the marathons and I'm talking about the marathons and I hate talking about the races. But you didn't do this race. I think they're fun. I do them because they're fun.
So if you're doing it for fun, you're not doing it for a job, you're not getting paid for it, you're paying to do it. Why would you not have fun around it? That's crazy. That's crazy.
Yeah. So you want to turn it into an event, a festivity like the night before. That's what it's all about.
Yeah.
That's why the city matters so much.
The only reason it's not bothering me at all, except knowing it's bothering you, that bothers me.
I think Cape Town is the most beautiful city in the world.
Yeah.
Yeah, far and away. South Africa is a country. I would say is the most beautiful country that I've ever been to. You got like, so Cape Town, which is, it's on the coast. It's just, I don't know how to describe it other than it's got so much charm and it's beautiful. And then you can take a little drive. I think it's about two, two and a half hours up to their wine country called Franschhoek.
which is a legendary wine country. And then they've got all the safari as well. Most of that's up in Kruger National Park, I believe.
I believe the best way to get there, I believe you do it through Johannesburg, which is the other major city there.
That one is, I don't, yeah, Joburg isn't, there isn't much to it, but gets you to Kruger. So I don't know. What do you want me to say about the marathon? Like it's, it was, or about the, just, I was living in Hong Kong. I picked it because there was direct flights and my dad wanted to do an adventure. And so we did it.
No, I think what happened with that is that I went to Japan with him because he was running the Tokyo marathon.
No.
But same thing. Like, it's like, let's go to Tokyo. Let's have some fun. Let's mix a race in.
And then I think we made the decision there to then go do the Cape Town one.
That one was definitely special because I was doing it with my dad. And I do remember that I crossed the finish line holding my dad's hand. And that was really special.
Uh, Cape town, we ran together, London. We did not cause London, he ran with my sister and you ran by yourself.
Yeah. We got in a massive fight the night before the race in London. Um, what? Yeah. And funny enough, it was like, I think it had to do with my brother-in-law at that point. A little early day friction.
And I remember I was so mad at them and I just like zoned them out and just went and took that.
I did a hate run.
Like best I've ever done in anything.
Yeah. And then just got to the end like. We're all good.
Just got mad at you for three hours and 22 minutes.
So now I'm over it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I really like to tell stories. Like I've had so many amazing moments and so often those moments go and just like get, you know, locked up in the memories of the past. And so it's fun to be able to come on here and you extract them out of me.
Do you think it's the hormones? Because my stress levels over there, I think the next six, seven days are going to be really fun.
Someone last night was literally like, did you know Alex is planking in the middle of the night?
Have I told you about my... Is this interesting?
The time that I thought I was going to die in Burma?
Okay. Burma is a country that most people have not heard of. I wasn't sure if I should ask. Yeah. So I didn't even air that out. Didn't even put that on the platter for you to know or not know. Very small country.
The continent, thank you. The continent is Asia. Wait, wait, wait.
Yes.
It's also called Myanmar. Myanmar.
Myanmar. Myanmar, Myanmar.
It's kind of like Southeast Asia-ish by like Thailand and kind of in between like Thailand and Nepal. Okay. Was supposed to go to... But we can get into Nepal later. So all of the travels I'd done... I'd always done with people. So of all, of all the countries I've been to, I've probably been to 75% of them with Alex cost or maybe 50% of them. That's pretty good.
Because then I said that once and he was like, well, I've actually been to most of them with, with his wife. He's been to most of them with his wife. So he kind of put me in my place. Uh, but, uh, I'd never like really traveled on my own. So I wanted to go to an adventure on my own, chose Burma and, uh, Had a really open schedule. Knew I wanted to start in one city and end up in another.
Had a flight in and a flight out, but no hotels booked. And I get it to this really small town. It was like cool little like village mountain town. And I was walking through it and I walk by this bar. And I'm gonna have, I have a photo of this bar. So I'm gonna have them, I'm gonna have P put it up.
It was a true hole in the wall with a bunch of local Burmese people who didn't speak a lick of English. And I sat there and I drank with these guys. For an ungodly amount of six, seven, eight hours. I went in there when it was light and I left when it was dark. And, um, they were serving around.
So not a word of English was spoken, but there was a lot of communicating being done, which was just like really fun and really cool. Like one of them at one point pulled out like a, like we're communicating on a pen and paper and drawing things. And it was a blast.
Um, And I remember I'm walking home, and as I'm walking home, I'm like, oh, shit. I don't feel good. And as we were drinking, they started passing around snacks. And so I was eating all this hole-in-the-wall bar food with them. And I've gotten food poisoning before. This was another level. And I spent the next three days in this...
run down as run down as can get little hostel uh and like I thought I was gonna need to get like medevaced out of there no and like calling my mom like giving her the updates like I was I was on the bathroom floor probably for 48 hours straight just like I thought I was going to die it was that much pain oh yeah so when you're walking home did you already have the hostel booked like you already knew or were you going to one
so um obviously this is six seven years ago so memory is semi-loose but what i recall happening is i got to the town i found the hostel went to the bar plan was to be there for one night so paid for a night at the hostel i i actually remember this paid for the one night at the hostel and then went walking the town found uh i believe i walked past the bar on the way the hostel we found it went in there and then boom
lights out and i i was so sick that i couldn't leave the room to like up the nights of the hostel so like i'm communicating with them through the room it was it was a disaster yeah oh my god that sounds awful yeah awful yeah they didn't roofie you or anything it was just the bar food was bad
I think that like, that I ate something that had like, I've gotten food poisoning in Egypt and in, in many places, this was something different. So I think there was something more to it, but there was no doctors in that town.
Yeah, I just feel like, wait, so what are you anxious about? Like, what is it specifically?
He was very nervous.
Like remote of remote.
No, I mean, it was truly an unbelievable trip other than that was a great memory because it was a memory. But I recovered after those two, three days passed. I was off and finished the trip and went to a bunch of other different cities.
Oh, yeah.
I powered through.
Yeah. I think there's some political instability going on there right now. Oh. And I do think there may be some...
pretty fucked up shit going on I don't haven't checked lately so I don't even know if it's safe to go anymore but at the time it was awesome awesome okay great well that's a good that yeah that's a story we haven't heard you should tell us a story each time if it comes up okay next time you can ask me about the time that we were held up at gunpoint oh I have so many good ones can we hear the gunpoint one now or no no next go tune in next week
Yeah.
There's stuff that you say that I know you don't believe.
And that is one of them. If Christmas morning shows up and there are not gifts under that tree for you, like, I got you the wrong flowers on Valentine's Day this year.
The flowers, I got her grocery store flowers.
Alex.
The apartment... It was a lot of sets of Valentine's Day flowers. The apartment was full. There was, I don't know, how many? 48 roses, more, 100 roses. So many roses. And you were sad because they were from the grocery store.
So how's Christmas going to go without presents?
I did not forget about Valentine's Day. Are you kidding me?
I remember. Hold on. I planned a massive day. You were mad that I wrote the card that morning.
You were mad that there was only... But I did... I made you breakfast in bed. I was throwing up. Heart-shaped pancakes with strawberries around it.
I made a reservation at Overstory where we had our first date.
Lie. No.
Alex, you don't... You've never made a... You don't have an account at OpenTable or Resi. You've never made a reservation. So, like, you're just... You're lying.
And I had a girlfriend in college. Okay. And I remember my reaction to it was similar to what a girlfriend in college did to me. And were you like, you're like, you have assets. All right, done. No more Valentine's Day. Because once, so in college for my birthday, she got me a sweater. And I really didn't like the sweater. And I was a total grump about the sweater.
And when I was being unappreciative about the sweater, she looked at me, she's like, all right, no more gifts. I was like, what? She's like, yeah, you were unappreciative for the gift. And we did it for like, you know, multiple years. And we didn't do another gift. The whole time. No more birthday gifts.
Yeah. And so I was like, you know what? I tried. And I think I was like, all right, fine. We'll never do Thanksgiving. We'll never do... Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day again. And then... What did I say? I remember. You quickly walked me off the ledge. And...
It's an expensive holiday.
Yeah, and fear understood. And I think one of the perks, obviously, of Austin is like, It feels like we're always within a five to seven minute Uber to our house.
Expensive.
For you it's worth it. For you it's worth it. For you it's worth it.
Every dollar worth it. Every dollar worth it. Every flower worth it. Every petal, every rose, every thorn. It's all worth it.
The point is I thought I did good.
These Trader Joe's, Trader Joe's is just, it's great.
But as a whole, Trader Joe's is just great. Shout out Trader Joe's.
Yeah.
Before we go, the research guy I am- Got a stat for us. How many diapers do you think the average baby goes through its first year of life?
3,500. 2,500. Your math game is on point today.
2,500.
We can save that for another time. Let the listener do the math.
Seven a day makes sense.
We've not bought diapers. Shout out diaper companies.
Maybe sponsor.
Thank you for listening.
Or we have our car. And so I just think that this trip will need to do more scheduling, more planning.
Yeah. Like let's bring some of those frozen milk reserves. And if that's the fear like that to me can, can be, can be worked through.
Loves her milk.
Yeah, she's really working on a clock.
No.
But I'm proud of you. Now, I actually have something. Speaking of things, because I think there's obviously a lot of stuff on this that we say we're going to do in terms of parenting styles or we think we're going to do and then it doesn't end up happening. Mm-hmm.
One of the things that you do as a mom that I'm so impressed with that you said you were going to do beforehand is... And I noticed it the other night in the middle of the night. When you feed her, you truly do not have anything else around. And you are just focused on feeding her. There's no phones. And you're just talking to her and calming her and educating her. I think it's so amazing.
I woke up the other night and it was like... Early. You were doing the morning feed, so I don't know, it was like 5, 5.30. And I just, I don't know, for whatever reason, assume like you'd be scrolling something or reading something. No, just you and her having a moment.
And so what are you doing during the pumps?
Someone last night told me this. They're like, did you know Alex is doing planks in... And I want one clarification. I didn't tell you to not be on your phone in the middle of the night.
Okay.
Well, I don't even know what an internet is. I think you get my point. The internet's great. The internet is cruising right now.
Well, I know what I'd say publicly versus privately if it's going to happen.
You're doing this? Where are you doing this?
So fun. Yeah, someone last night was actually like, did you know Alex is planking in the middle of the night? Yeah.
Okay.
We still have one of those monitors in that other room. So I just realized that we probably have video footage of you planking in the middle of the night. Stop it, we do. And so if we do, I think we got to put some of that up as evidence.
Okay, well, we'll check the film.
Yeah, but that stuff is like I think parenting 101 easier said than done. Obviously, I try to do that, but sometimes you get pulled away, whether it's work stuff or other things, friend stuff, nice internet moments.
And you were sad because they were from the grocery store.
I think there's a time and a place for a swear word.
Easily her sleeping in bed with us.
No. Make your fucks mean something.
Like I would love if we were a bed of three every night.
We could just do snuggles with her.
Yeah.
That to me isn't a pain point. Yeah.
But taking her in and out of the car is not hard. That Duna is awesome.
At what point are you allowed to start leaving kids in cars? There's got to be an age.
I'm not a zip popper.
I'm in a very relaxed state today.
It feels like the wheels are falling off at home here with the mess situation, but they have, you just got to lean in.
Wow. I don't get that one.
I like how you call them cuss words.
We can do blankets.
It's so weird how like such a common thing is such a foreign concept, like driving to go get your coffee as opposed to walking to the coffee shop.
No. The walkability lifestyle. I was reading one thing. I'm a baby reader now. Good. And so do you know how many bones humans have, adults have?
And then 10 to like 20% of the outstanding people are just like OGs that have been in the neighborhood for, or like the original folks that have been in the neighborhoods for like 40 years.
Yeah, it was a real kick in the ass on, wow, this is a special neighborhood. I never had an experience like that growing up. I don't think we ever, growing up, we had one neighborhood barbecue. I don't think we had one neighborhood event growing up.
Never. Never.
It must be.
I couldn't tell you what one of my neighbors' names were growing up, let alone what they look like.
Not that I knew.
Oh, first name and casual first name. A lot of my parents' parents, we had nicknames for them. My best friend in high school, his name was Dave, but we called him Biggest, Biggest D. Biggest D?
Yeah. Biggest? What does that stand for?
Like B-I-G-G-E-S, Biggest. I have no idea as I think about it.
I guess his name was Biggs and then his nickname was Biggs and then that switched to Biggest D because Dave and just whatever.
And then we called his mom K-Ups.
Yeah, I didn't get exposed to that until I moved to the U.S. and started meeting friends and their families that weren't from the North.
Of course.
I want to have nickname dynamics with them.
Very playful relationship. And I love that.
And I want to have a playful relationship with,
Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you a lot. This neighborhood is really becoming a meaningful part of our lives and I think can be a really meaningful part of Tate and our future kids' lives.
Let's do it.
Text the owner of the house.
Sure. I just said, we love the house. There's another house that we plan on offering. But before we do that, we just wanted to let you know what we can pay for this house. And totally understand if that number doesn't work for you. But if it does, then hopefully we can get this done very quickly and have it be a done deal. And she was on board. And so it was very exciting because... Very exciting.
Yeah, because we just didn't know how it would all... But... But we're still going through the process of inspections and surveys and all that stuff. So there's still work to do here, but we're inching towards a solution.
Which hopefully we can explain why later.
And I think the point on the crawfish boil that I don't know if I actually spoke to is that was an amazing moment and an amazing experience. And I want to create... as many of those amazing moments and experiences for our family as possible growing up. And the fact that that can happen on our front door is, or on our front lawn is amazing.
Why is it a big day?
And it has me just like feeling even better about the city of Austin and better about the whole setup. And do I think that that's unique to our street? Absolutely not. Do I think it happens in... Absolutely. But like I do, I just like, I don't know. I'm very happy with, with the mindset of the people here.
Just God forbid you can plant a pot without owning a home.
No, I'm with you. Like there's so much that I'd love to do with this house, but we haven't done because it's like, what are we going to do? Add value to the house for the next person.
I totally hear you.
Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like a large product of that is I feel like a lot of our parents grew up where a lot of our parents settled where they grew up. Whereas I feel like a lot of our generation is growing up in, or is choosing to settle in different places then. And so in doing so, like, you're going to have to build a support system that's really different.
And, like, our support system is far from what I thought it would be. And, like, while, like, if we lived in Vancouver or Oklahoma City, like... We'd be surrounded by, you know, obviously family, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, et cetera. And like, we, we just don't have that here.
And like, as much as I speak to my parents, as much as, as they've come, like they always, they, they don't live here. And so that changes like your typical Tuesday, uh,
Yeah. You know, as much as she is the plane right away in there whenever.
And so I think one thing is like... And I see how hard that dynamic has been on you. And I really do feel for you. And I am hopeful that things will get back on track.
Well, I saw her like, because when you initially got into the shower, she was like very, very loud and very fussy and very upset. And then she calmed. And when she calmed, I was like, oh my God, I think she just tired herself out. And so I just like zipped her right into that bed. And I just like put both arms under her.
You've been, you've been an unbelievable mother and I'm so proud of, of the mother you, you are. And I love you.
Thank you. You're also an amazing partner.
Yeah, well, I think like one added really tricky dynamic that we've had in building our village is we moved to a new city where our family wasn't.
And so it's not like we've lived in Austin for 10 years and we have this de facto community. So we're like dual tracking, raising a child while building a community. And like, I'm so thankful for the people that have welcomed us with open arms. But like specifically, our neighbors are... Like, I don't know the last time I've developed a relationship as fast with anyone as we have with them.
yeah but i think it's a lot trickier than that because while it's amazing their daughter is the same age as tate like the like-mindedness of how we think about the world is i think ultimately what's allowed us to connect the the way we have um and uh
And there's like obviously the financial cost, but like the other, there's the other cost that I see is like, you know, our cousins and our aunts and our uncles who were both
so close with as well like i know how much like louise would love to babysit and if we lived in vancouver how much she would babysit and my cousins would babysit all the time yeah yeah like you know just how much jill and everyone would be like in the mix and over and yes it's um it's definitely like a significant added undertaking not being around them so
Yeah.
But like our village is small, but growing and hopefully we'll continue to grow.
I felt like she was like kind of in a daze and then just like slowly transitioned her out. And she did like a minor adjustment when I put her in the crib. And then she was just like knocked out right after. So we got really lucky.
And I'm sure that when they start going to school, that will bring in more people and part of the importance of nailing where we live.
Yeah, for sure. And it still is tough because it is small.
To me, there's also like the dynamic of Northern or Southern communication. Like I grew up just being very direct and with you, like sometimes I, it takes me a while to actually figure out what you're actually saying. And so I know that like, and I think that both of us are then are kind of coming in the middle where it's like, Hey Harrison, don't be so direct where you sound like an asshole.
And it's like, Hey Alex, be more direct so we don't have to guess what you're actually thinking. Yeah.
And just say we have a babysitter Wednesday and if they want to drop her off with a babysitter, they can and that's no problem. But there was something that happened with you and I in the past 48 hours where I asked you a question and you said yes. Something you didn't say the actual answer. And then I went and I did something. And you're like, that isn't what I meant.
I think that it was like. He was like, what do you want to do for dinner tonight? And you were like, I think I'm just going to make my turkey burgers. Oh, yes. Here's what it was. I said, what do you want to do for dinner? You're like, I think I just want to make my turkey burgers because I want to make sure that I have dinner on time at 6 p.m.
and what you really meant was you want me to handle dinner but you want it to be at 6 p.m and if it's not at 6 p.m then you'd rather do your turkey burgers so and then i totally missed the mark on that and i thought you wanted to make your turkey burgers and um and then when i started making my own dinner i learned oh shit you actually wanted me to make you dinner is that not what happened
Does that ring true to the scenario of what we're talking about?
And so what I need from you is, hey, I want to have family dinner tonight, but it needs to be at 6 p.m. Versus, hey, if you don't do it at like versus, hey, I'm kind of indifferent. And if it's not ready at 6 p.m., then I'll just do it myself because that isn't what you wanted.
Yeah, but like I almost need it more direct. Like I almost need it.
Like last night wasn't a moment for me.
Yes. That's what I need on a Tuesday night.
No, because for me, that's what I need. Like, because you're busy. I'm busy. We're juggling a bunch of stuff.
Sometimes your spot, I like think you're going to break out with me by like the tone of seriousness where being like, we need to talk.
No. I'm sorry to take that away from you.
And what did I say to you when you brought all this up?
I said, point received. And thank you for bringing it up at this time. Thank you for not bringing it up Thursday, 15 minutes beforehand. And I said that I can probably meet you on 80% to 90% of the requests.
The cleanliness of the kitchen while I was cooking seemed like an unrealistic request.
Because your shit is already everywhere. If you kept the house organized, I would keep it organized. I'm not going to keep it organized. I literally, like last night, go to start cooking a dinner and your whatever turkey chili bowl is just 24 hours left still in the kitchen. You rarely gaslight. I don't think you like, I can't think of, but one area you do gaslight is cleanliness organization.
Yeah. Well, what I just realized is when she wakes up in the morning, we can just bring her back in our bed for, for cuddles and food.
It is crazy. Like it's like you are truly the messiest in the kitchen. Our kitchen is, and then I get in trouble for it.
Yeah, but that's what I said. I will work on it, but I think that we're going to need a – this is a great example of like –
Yes, but this is also dynamic you got into, which is very fair, which is we used to have the I'll kick you clean dynamic, but now with all the caretaking that we need to do of Tate and all the pumping you're doing, you don't have the energy to clean, which I totally understand.
What percentage of couples do you think have this exact dynamic?
No, totally.
Yes.
This is absurdity.
Yeah, this is all just... This is ridiculous.
This is ridiculous.
You are an amazing mother, Alex. And I don't want this gaslighting to take away from you. Like, I actually think you are a 10 out of 10 mother. You are a 10 out of 10 partner. You are a 1.7 out of 10 cleaner. That's where we're at. I think that... Okay, but... You're actually an all-star. Minus cleanliness.
Minus organization. You are clean. The amount you shower and do all that, you are clean. The skin and hair routine, but like... Got that dialed. Yeah.
Yes, you do laundry, but then you take the laundry and the laundry's all over the room of the clean clothes.
But they're folded on like a chair stacked to the roof.
Maybe we'll renovate a beautiful – Closet. Closet as we were discussing today.
Yeah.
Yeah, and shout out to our village members.
Yeah. Logically, it makes sense. Like I definitely think there's going to be some like rough nights. Yeah. Because with the snoo, it would like just put her – if she was like – if she had energy, I find the snoo could like get her down. Or if she was fussy, I thought the snoo could really get her down easily.
One is clean and one is organized.
Yeah.
And finding out what the actual like, dynamics that matter to the other person are and, and, and, uh, making sure that those are covered.
By Frida.
I think for all intents and purposes, we can say that yes, it was an April Fool's joke.
Yes. There's no way.
But so to me, I think that where this goes is a couple things. One, I think that 99% of brands, April Fool's jokes, particularly in my industry, are just like as cringe as it gets. It's like, here's this funny, unique flavor. That said, I'm very into this Frida breast milk ice cream, largely because they announced it. In the week before April Fool's joke, before April Fool's.
And so like that led to a better storytelling dynamic. And it was just relatable enough to their core business. But like it's clearly not real.
It's clearly not real.
Have they not said it's not real?
Well, a rep for the brand confirmed to people that the ice cream is not an early April Fool's joke, adding that Frida anticipates strong demand for the product and thinks people will be intrigued and excited to get a taste of it. There's no way that this is real. Okay, my brain just went in a pretzel.
Oh, I thought they like nailed their April Fool's.
Okay.
Well, I would – where I initially wanted to go with this is I would like to make ice cream in the – I would like to make breast milk ice cream in the Ninja that's healthy for Tate. Well, with – So that's where my brain went.
Whereas like when she's in a mood, how she's just going to be able to go the crib path, I'm curious to see. I think we're going to have a couple tough nights or more.
He said there's no such thing as a bad cup of coffee. I love that. So I always go out and make something for coffee. You can always learn something.
Yeah. I've started – I probably discovered her somewhere between like six to eight weeks ago. I – Yeah. She was not on my radar. And then she got on my TikTok and she's got some fire quotes. So shout out Mel Robbins.
So I'm going to jump in right now.
And here's a Mel Robbins quote that has resonated with me about successful relationships.
And relationships that last. And the first question is, do you want the relationship to last? And the second question is, do you want to put the work in to make the relationship last? So that's something that really jumped out to me. And so I'm going to put this into practice right now. Okay. Do you want a relationship to last?
Okay. Are you prepared to put the work in a relationship with the last?
So an example of this work is I have a call that starts in two minutes. And so I would kindly request for the first time ever that
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And I will even clean up all of your mess. Yes.
All right. Love you. Thank you so much.
Went to bed at, what, 10?
Yeah, I would agree. I'd also agree that even though she can't talk and is only six months old, it seems very clear when she woke up at midnight that she was just like very confused.
This has been a fun one.
So this week we are starting it off by doing avocado over the first two days and then avocado and chicken broth. And then we're switching to sweet potato at the end of the week.
A bit of everything. Yeah. It seems to be a highly nutrient food. So that's even a word.
A very nutritious food.
I got an ad for this on Instagram yesterday and I went to buy it. It wasn't an ad. It was a video. I wanted to buy it and it wasn't there.
I think I want to buy it right now if I can.
I don't know what it's called. We'll see if they have it on Amazon.
It's like, what do you call it? A push pop? Soother with food holes.
Oh, my God. Amazon is just amazing.
Comes right up. Why do you want that?
No, but what I really liked about it was it teaches them how to swallow.
Yeah, because I noticed like yesterday when she was having her avocado, like, you know, so it would just be sitting in the mouth. But she doesn't know to swallow.
Yeah.
And why can't she just like hold the piece of chicken while we're holding the push pop?
I clearly am not there. Maybe we can try and make it and then we can visualize it a little better.
Yeah.
I like was like, oh yeah, of course that makes all the sense in the world. And then I realized that like I'd go and I'd put the spoon out and then she'd like bite the thing of avocado. And then I'd be like so happy and proud of her that I'd start giving her a bunch of kisses. Exactly. Nope. Not allowed to do that.
Yeah, I'm good with letting her figure it all out. The challenge I have is the how do I not kiss her after she's like being cute eating it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do we want to talk about like the type of food that we are giving her?
Well, I guess the added note is like, Everything just as whole and natural as possible. So we're staying out of packaged food with the exception of some people that are doing it very well. So I really like the little spoon stuff.
that is is very clean ingredients and then i ordered another one today which i liked the sounds of a lot because they have meat in theirs and that is um drumroll it was on amazon it delivers on amazon coming today same day it's fine it just says payment revision needed serenity kids That looked awesome.
Baby food pouches. No, it's like a blend of chicken with like parsnip and beets or pasture-raised turkey with rosemary and organic purple carrots and zucchini and celery. Wow. So I liked – that's kind of the game plan here.
Well, they were very tasty.
Yes.
Well, look at that. Shout out Sooner Boomers. What is it? Horns up. There we go.
What, like March 14th?
Jules on the mic. Nine, six. Oh, my God. I love that. Yeah. Yeah, I love it.
Okay, like this is, you know, like I just find this stuff so boring.
Well, I think that for next week's episode, I should buy one of these white things so that way I can see the topics in a little more detail because I don't have a great view of them.
Okay.
Yep.
I want to create, and I think that was like one of my favorite things about the, to bring it back to, to what we were talking about. Um, the crawfish boy, like that as an experience, that as a moment was incredible. Like how many people do you think, I think you should describe it first and foremost. Like we, we got derailed.
My eyesight also isn't good.
Should I get my eyes checked?
And do you want to just talk about it or do you want to explain what it was?
When's the last time you got your eyes checked?
Yeah, the turnout was incredible.
Yeah, I love the demographic as well. Like you had – It feels like our neighborhood's really split. You have these empty nesters that have moved here at some point in the past three to four years, but have obviously been in Austin for a super long time. And then you have this massive slew of families with kids under five. And then you have like, and I feel like that's like a 40-40 split.
Yes.
Yeah, I had my napkin.
What trip are we going on? Next year or next week?
Where are we going? Tell us.
What is it?
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Mine?
I have no idea.
I don't think the internet knows.