Hayley DeRoche

Internet is us now.

I think sad beige is definitely a cut above like landlord gray or the millennial gray as they call it.

But I think that's much more landlord driven than millennial.

Hold on.

Let me pull it up here.

Yeah, you got to really, you got to feel it in your soul.

Would you call that a termite?

A termite, yeah.

All right, let's go.

We've got to get into the Werner mindset.

Yes, the book is in my point of view rather than Werner, although it's probably the only parenting book out there that does quote Werner Herzog and Marcel Proust.

But here is how to harness the cold embrace of the abyss when decorating your nursery.

It is time.

The wind howls.

Rain falls and sheets silver daggers.

Somewhere a screen door smacks against a solitary doorframe.

The signs and portents all point to the looming task drawing nigh.

Yes, it is time to decorate your baby's nursery.

This is the most magical time when you undertake the project of preparing a room for your little one's introduction to this world, in neutral beige tones, of course.

Beige is gentle and calming, so your baby is sure to be cool as a cucumber.