Henry Zabrowski

"'He received another cut across the stomach, "'the bowels being cut in a number of places, "'and a third cut in his back, "'and as yet it has not been ascertained how deep or the extent. "'The doctors are all in attendance upon the man now, "'but is expected that he will die.' The cut in his arm is the worst looking cut imaginable. His arm being nearly split in two.

"'He received another cut across the stomach, "'the bowels being cut in a number of places, "'and a third cut in his back, "'and as yet it has not been ascertained how deep or the extent. "'The doctors are all in attendance upon the man now, "'but is expected that he will die.' The cut in his arm is the worst looking cut imaginable. His arm being nearly split in two.

"'He received another cut across the stomach, "'the bowels being cut in a number of places, "'and a third cut in his back, "'and as yet it has not been ascertained how deep or the extent. "'The doctors are all in attendance upon the man now, "'but is expected that he will die.' The cut in his arm is the worst looking cut imaginable. His arm being nearly split in two.

The whole thing is a terrible affair and has caused great excitement here. That is wild. A cut from the shoulder to the hand. Yeah, dude. It's fucking really sad. How do you even get the guy to stand still long enough for you to do that? It's a razor. That is a sharp ass knife. You never know. It seems exaggerated, right? It does. But hey, I'm not going to fucking call shite upon the past. Yeah.

The whole thing is a terrible affair and has caused great excitement here. That is wild. A cut from the shoulder to the hand. Yeah, dude. It's fucking really sad. How do you even get the guy to stand still long enough for you to do that? It's a razor. That is a sharp ass knife. You never know. It seems exaggerated, right? It does. But hey, I'm not going to fucking call shite upon the past. Yeah.

The whole thing is a terrible affair and has caused great excitement here. That is wild. A cut from the shoulder to the hand. Yeah, dude. It's fucking really sad. How do you even get the guy to stand still long enough for you to do that? It's a razor. That is a sharp ass knife. You never know. It seems exaggerated, right? It does. But hey, I'm not going to fucking call shite upon the past. Yeah.

What do I know? Well, I'm sorry your great-great-great-great-grandfather died like that. I am happy that he did. Because I got the letter. So thank you. My dad is a now-retired fire captain, formerly firefighter, paramedic for L.A. County Fire. Yeah, buddy. Topical. Yep.

What do I know? Well, I'm sorry your great-great-great-great-grandfather died like that. I am happy that he did. Because I got the letter. So thank you. My dad is a now-retired fire captain, formerly firefighter, paramedic for L.A. County Fire. Yeah, buddy. Topical. Yep.

What do I know? Well, I'm sorry your great-great-great-great-grandfather died like that. I am happy that he did. Because I got the letter. So thank you. My dad is a now-retired fire captain, formerly firefighter, paramedic for L.A. County Fire. Yeah, buddy. Topical. Yep.

Well, he's told me innumerable crazy stories from his time working as a firefighter, from having a Molotov cocktail thrown at the fire engine windshield and being shot at during the L.A. riots, to delivering babies in strange places, including for a migrant worker in a field who had to work up until she literally gave birth. My favorite story is probably Dildo Guy. Okay.

Well, he's told me innumerable crazy stories from his time working as a firefighter, from having a Molotov cocktail thrown at the fire engine windshield and being shot at during the L.A. riots, to delivering babies in strange places, including for a migrant worker in a field who had to work up until she literally gave birth. My favorite story is probably Dildo Guy. Okay.

Well, he's told me innumerable crazy stories from his time working as a firefighter, from having a Molotov cocktail thrown at the fire engine windshield and being shot at during the L.A. riots, to delivering babies in strange places, including for a migrant worker in a field who had to work up until she literally gave birth. My favorite story is probably Dildo Guy. Okay.

When my dad was still a firefighter, he arrived at the station one morning, parked, and started to head to the door when something strange caught his eye in the truck bed next to his.

When my dad was still a firefighter, he arrived at the station one morning, parked, and started to head to the door when something strange caught his eye in the truck bed next to his.

When my dad was still a firefighter, he arrived at the station one morning, parked, and started to head to the door when something strange caught his eye in the truck bed next to his.

He was taken aback. For obvious reasons. He just stared and he blinked a couple times and he shook his head like it was a cartoon. He headed inside and asked the guy whose truck it was what the deal was. He responded that he was in Studio City the day before. He saw someone throwing out all these dildos after a porn shoot and he thought it was a big waste. He fished them out of the dumpster.

He was taken aback. For obvious reasons. He just stared and he blinked a couple times and he shook his head like it was a cartoon. He headed inside and asked the guy whose truck it was what the deal was. He responded that he was in Studio City the day before. He saw someone throwing out all these dildos after a porn shoot and he thought it was a big waste. He fished them out of the dumpster.

He was taken aback. For obvious reasons. He just stared and he blinked a couple times and he shook his head like it was a cartoon. He headed inside and asked the guy whose truck it was what the deal was. He responded that he was in Studio City the day before. He saw someone throwing out all these dildos after a porn shoot and he thought it was a big waste. He fished them out of the dumpster.

His plan, he said, was to wash them and resell them on eBay for a nice profit. Needless to say, the rest of the guys in duty mercilessly roasted him while the guy got more and more defensive. As far as I know, you went through with his plan. That guy has been known as the dildo guy in certain circles ever since. Never buy it used. Always buy it in the box. Yes. Buy it within the box.

His plan, he said, was to wash them and resell them on eBay for a nice profit. Needless to say, the rest of the guys in duty mercilessly roasted him while the guy got more and more defensive. As far as I know, you went through with his plan. That guy has been known as the dildo guy in certain circles ever since. Never buy it used. Always buy it in the box. Yes. Buy it within the box.