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My mom literally knows everything I do. I tell my mom absolutely everything. She follows me on Instagram. She knew the moment I smoked my first joint. She found out when I first had alcohol. And I think... Oh, God, I don't want to admit this. But when I lost my virginity, which honestly was like... How old was I? First year of university. I was old when I lost my virginity. You can imagine why.

My mom literally knows everything I do. I tell my mom absolutely everything. She follows me on Instagram. She knew the moment I smoked my first joint. She found out when I first had alcohol. And I think... Oh, God, I don't want to admit this. But when I lost my virginity, which honestly was like... How old was I? First year of university. I was old when I lost my virginity. You can imagine why.

And I called my mom the next morning

And I called my mom the next morning

And I called my mom the next morning

not because i was proud but because i was worried the protection didn't work i'm an anxious guy when i was younger you didn't wear a condom no i wore it i just i've i've read online is there a way for the condom not to work there's like it was a zero point zero zero i'm like fuck that i'm that one after all those zeros uh and i also let my mom know one time that i had hemorrhoids

not because i was proud but because i was worried the protection didn't work i'm an anxious guy when i was younger you didn't wear a condom no i wore it i just i've i've read online is there a way for the condom not to work there's like it was a zero point zero zero i'm like fuck that i'm that one after all those zeros uh and i also let my mom know one time that i had hemorrhoids

not because i was proud but because i was worried the protection didn't work i'm an anxious guy when i was younger you didn't wear a condom no i wore it i just i've i've read online is there a way for the condom not to work there's like it was a zero point zero zero i'm like fuck that i'm that one after all those zeros uh and i also let my mom know one time that i had hemorrhoids

No, I'm being completely serious. And it was such a weird way that they found out. So her and her mom, my grandma, I sent a picture of my asshole because it was in severe pain to my mom and grandma. And then I messaged group chat. And I was like, hey, guys, what's going on right now? I haven't crapped in a week. And this was when I was losing a lot of weight because my knees were hurting me.

No, I'm being completely serious. And it was such a weird way that they found out. So her and her mom, my grandma, I sent a picture of my asshole because it was in severe pain to my mom and grandma. And then I messaged group chat. And I was like, hey, guys, what's going on right now? I haven't crapped in a week. And this was when I was losing a lot of weight because my knees were hurting me.

No, I'm being completely serious. And it was such a weird way that they found out. So her and her mom, my grandma, I sent a picture of my asshole because it was in severe pain to my mom and grandma. And then I messaged group chat. And I was like, hey, guys, what's going on right now? I haven't crapped in a week. And this was when I was losing a lot of weight because my knees were hurting me.

So I lost a lot of weight. And I guess I wasn't eating enough fiber. So I got hemorrhoids.

So I lost a lot of weight. And I guess I wasn't eating enough fiber. So I got hemorrhoids.

So I lost a lot of weight. And I guess I wasn't eating enough fiber. So I got hemorrhoids.

thing in between my asshole and I was hoping it was shit so that I would finally be shit but no it was a blood vessel I found that out because my grandma used to be a nurse and she saw the photo of my asshole that I sent her in the iMessage group chat and she was so nonchalant about it she's like hey sweetie looks like you have a hemorrhoid like anyone else who I sent a picture of my ass crack to be like what the fuck block me rightfully so

thing in between my asshole and I was hoping it was shit so that I would finally be shit but no it was a blood vessel I found that out because my grandma used to be a nurse and she saw the photo of my asshole that I sent her in the iMessage group chat and she was so nonchalant about it she's like hey sweetie looks like you have a hemorrhoid like anyone else who I sent a picture of my ass crack to be like what the fuck block me rightfully so

thing in between my asshole and I was hoping it was shit so that I would finally be shit but no it was a blood vessel I found that out because my grandma used to be a nurse and she saw the photo of my asshole that I sent her in the iMessage group chat and she was so nonchalant about it she's like hey sweetie looks like you have a hemorrhoid like anyone else who I sent a picture of my ass crack to be like what the fuck block me rightfully so

My grandma was just like, yeah, you need Preparation H. I said, okay, sweet. That's awesome. But then I explained that to everyone around me as if it was like, yeah, my grandma let me know I have hemorrhoids. They're like, how does your grandma know? And I was like, oh, a photo. And then it hit me like, I should not be telling this to everyone.

My grandma was just like, yeah, you need Preparation H. I said, okay, sweet. That's awesome. But then I explained that to everyone around me as if it was like, yeah, my grandma let me know I have hemorrhoids. They're like, how does your grandma know? And I was like, oh, a photo. And then it hit me like, I should not be telling this to everyone.

My grandma was just like, yeah, you need Preparation H. I said, okay, sweet. That's awesome. But then I explained that to everyone around me as if it was like, yeah, my grandma let me know I have hemorrhoids. They're like, how does your grandma know? And I was like, oh, a photo. And then it hit me like, I should not be telling this to everyone.