Ian Dunt

And so you're just sort of waiting for someone to give you the Marxist explanation.

You don't want the truth.

You're not a truth-seeking person at this stage.

You're looking for ways of protecting the dogmatic shell that has encased your mind.

And so you look for these answers.

You look for the same, like USSR.

Why did the USSR turn into this tyrannical, oppressive government?

And then they'll say, well, it's because it wasn't really communism.

It was state capitalism.

And they'll give you a whole series of explanations that all fit whatever the Trotskyist analysis of the scenario was.

And you'll act towards it the same way that I did when I first encountered Jesus, right?

It's the life raft.

oh, I experienced doubt for a moment.

There was a quiver.

But now you've given me the things just so it's like, okay, this is all fine.

At no point are you engaged in truth.

At no point are you engaged in consensus or pragmatism or trying to understand where other people are coming from or trying to build solutions with others.

You are just engaged in the process of erecting the sturdiest walls for your dogma.

And because I see so much of that around me now, I've become quite grateful that I have those memories and that realization of how it worked when I was a child.

And that makes it almost more of a mental type and a thought process than it does anything ideological.