Ilana Glazer

And she was in labor for 36 hours and pushed for like 20 minutes. And that was pretty much my experience.

And she was in labor for 36 hours and pushed for like 20 minutes. And that was pretty much my experience.

okay but like i was like really informed um more informed than she was at the time oh my god when i was a baby it wasn't an option to know the baby's sex really crazy so you couldn't know at all that you would find out once you were born we chose we chose not to know okay choice back then crazy um

okay but like i was like really informed um more informed than she was at the time oh my god when i was a baby it wasn't an option to know the baby's sex really crazy so you couldn't know at all that you would find out once you were born we chose we chose not to know okay choice back then crazy um

so i labored at home for 24 hours and i was like kind of partying so you have to get to like 10 centimeters like your pussy opens up to 10 fucking centimeters yeah fucking crazy it's enormous yeah nuts when you look at it in the diagram it's crazy you know it's crazy you're like yo 10 fucking centimeters um like that sandworm on dune you know like oh there's all those teeth in there

so i labored at home for 24 hours and i was like kind of partying so you have to get to like 10 centimeters like your pussy opens up to 10 fucking centimeters yeah fucking crazy it's enormous yeah nuts when you look at it in the diagram it's crazy you know it's crazy you're like yo 10 fucking centimeters um like that sandworm on dune you know like oh there's all those teeth in there

don't know it just watched it like over my husband's if you google it you'll laugh okay um you couldn't remember the um sandworms in beetlejuice anybody great okay great um girl hello still here

don't know it just watched it like over my husband's if you google it you'll laugh okay um you couldn't remember the um sandworms in beetlejuice anybody great okay great um girl hello still here

Oh, God. So, oh, yeah, Beetlejuice was rebooted. You would know it. Anyway, so within that 24 hours, I only got to two centimeters, which is why I was, like, pretty chill at home. If it had gotten open, if I had opened up even more, I'd be like, girl.

Oh, God. So, oh, yeah, Beetlejuice was rebooted. You would know it. Anyway, so within that 24 hours, I only got to two centimeters, which is why I was, like, pretty chill at home. If it had gotten open, if I had opened up even more, I'd be like, girl.

you know what I mean so like so the 24 hours I was like I'm just gonna take it easy and chill and I was like I couldn't really sleep because I kept waking up with these contractions but like it was nice to be home it was nice to eat because you know when you get to the hospital you can't eat yeah based on like weird like 1920s hysteria hospital shit and then you got poop

you know what I mean so like so the 24 hours I was like I'm just gonna take it easy and chill and I was like I couldn't really sleep because I kept waking up with these contractions but like it was nice to be home it was nice to eat because you know when you get to the hospital you can't eat yeah based on like weird like 1920s hysteria hospital shit and then you got poop

yeah um yeah i think i pooped a little but it wasn't like as big a deal as um it's real normal that's why it's real normal you're like using your all the force you have in your pelvic floor because you're gonna poop a little bit you're gonna poop yeah um but then after 24 hours i went to the hospital and got an epidural scariest part of the birth i was like weeping really shaking my husband's like hugging and holding me i'm like so so scared it's like

yeah um yeah i think i pooped a little but it wasn't like as big a deal as um it's real normal that's why it's real normal you're like using your all the force you have in your pelvic floor because you're gonna poop a little bit you're gonna poop yeah um but then after 24 hours i went to the hospital and got an epidural scariest part of the birth i was like weeping really shaking my husband's like hugging and holding me i'm like so so scared it's like

a needle in the base of my fucking spine I don't like it but okay I got past that and then 12 hours later before I got any like shit to open it up like I opened up to 9 centimeters over those 12 hours but wasn't feeling all the pain that would have come if I hadn't gotten the epidural and then it was like 7 in the morning we gave me a kiss of Pitocin to be like okay let's go to the 10th centimeter and it was like 15 minutes

a needle in the base of my fucking spine I don't like it but okay I got past that and then 12 hours later before I got any like shit to open it up like I opened up to 9 centimeters over those 12 hours but wasn't feeling all the pain that would have come if I hadn't gotten the epidural and then it was like 7 in the morning we gave me a kiss of Pitocin to be like okay let's go to the 10th centimeter and it was like 15 minutes

four pushes so there's like space you know minutes yeah i'm sure you know this um more than i did but like minutes between it's like one minute of a contraction and the opportunity to push but then these breaks of like four minutes in between yeah so it was like four pushes the first push shout out to dr cha dr laura cha fucking bad bitch um first first push she spun my baby um upward

four pushes so there's like space you know minutes yeah i'm sure you know this um more than i did but like minutes between it's like one minute of a contraction and the opportunity to push but then these breaks of like four minutes in between yeah so it was like four pushes the first push shout out to dr cha dr laura cha fucking bad bitch um first first push she spun my baby um upward

So her head and like nose were down by my anus, my anus. And she twisted it up so the nose was up toward the clit, honestly. And where the head's supposed to be. And then, you know, got the head out. And my baby was like, stick her fucking head out of my... I mean, I didn't see it. I'm just like imagining. And then got one shoulder out on the second, on the third push out of four.

So her head and like nose were down by my anus, my anus. And she twisted it up so the nose was up toward the clit, honestly. And where the head's supposed to be. And then, you know, got the head out. And my baby was like, stick her fucking head out of my... I mean, I didn't see it. I'm just like imagining. And then got one shoulder out on the second, on the third push out of four.