James Coan

Well, they actually fall in three camps.

It's a little bit more complicated.

So there's a subgroup who think that you should follow a recipe.

So a child is an ingredient for the recipe and you should never let them cry out.

It's like a law.

And then you have got parents in the other two groups who think that children develop over time.

You know, babies start off crying because it's a biological need, you know, because otherwise they can't follow the mum for feeds.

You know, they need safety and security.

But as they get older, crying changes.

They understand this also to get attention and to get what they want.

So they do it intentionally.

So early on biological, second half of the first year, it becomes intentional.

So the parents actually operate intuitively.

So what they do is they let them sometimes cry it out.

So early on not, but then as they get a bit older, they wait a few times and that's about 40% of parents we found in our study.

And then another 25% start off that they let them cry out.

And then there will be about 35% by about 18 months who let them cry it out often.

And they have realized that the important thing is that you do differential responding.

So you respond to the child on your individual child rather than the recipe.

when they know what the child wants, whether it does it intentionally like having a temper tantrum by 18 months and you want to take attention away or it has hurt themselves.