James Coan

the wealthier parent who rely very much on parenting books so that they get a recipe and have this strong belief system.

So in our study, we found the parents who had more children who were actually less well off were more likely using occasionally to let the child cry it out or the babies cry it out.

No, the really valid takeaway is that most parents, if you don't overread on it, have got an intuition of how you should bring up your baby.

And if you have got two children, you realize that even with the same parent, these two children are quite different, like your siblings.

Yeah.

And the parents have to react to them differently.

So my advice is observe your baby because it's special.

There's no other baby like yours.

Observe what it reacts to best.

And then intuitively, most parents start off to responding immediately because it's a biological need early on.

And then after a time they realize, I can wait a little bit.

It's like with homework.

You don't do the homework for the child, but you see whether it can solve the task first.

And if it can't, you of course assist it.

So I'm not saying let it cry out, the child, or respond immediately, but gradually over the first year start waiting a little bit longer to see whether the child or the baby can learn

to soothe himself or herself.

Exactly.

Go back, not listening to your... I mean, a lot of the middle-class parents we find when they come into the clinic is they're used to their diary.

And babies don't follow a diary.

They don't have a, you can't stop them or they don't fit into this scheme we're used to organize our life.