James Cordova

It feels like what we're wanting to be able to offer to each other is that experience that you're my safe harbor.

Of all the people in the world, you're the person who I most feel comfortable and safe

being my actual, authentic, vulnerable self with, because I know that when it comes right down to it, you love me and accept me just the way I am, including

and maybe even because of the places where I know I'm imperfect.

I know this is a place where I get reactive.

I know this is a place where I tend to fall down.

You know, I'm doing my best out here, right?

And I know that for you, I don't have to be perfect.

And with you, I'm safe.

And therefore, I get to try and even fail because I know that I'm in safe territory.

So my partner went away with some old college friends to a concert.

And there was something about it that just felt like, oh, I don't really want you to go, or I would want to go with you.

I just sort of felt that kind of missing in it.

But of course, my value is to support my partner's autonomy.

So this is something that you really want to do.

I'm feeling a particular way about it, but I want to support you in doing it.

And so please go and have a wonderful time, which she did.

But I noticed, you know, when she got back that like I was feeling really hurt and just a lot of sort of like sadness and upset about it.

And I was trying to think my way through it.

Like, what is this about?