James Dolan

They're not available now, Sean.

I think that those cases are still undecided.

Obviously, the Steelers have a playoff game this weekend, so that's clearly undecided.

And I think what's going on right now in Baltimore, my guess, would be that John Harbaugh's not going to be fired.

Him and Steven Biscotti would probably have a nice discussion, nice little coffee, dinner, or breakfast, whenever the hell you have coffee.

I don't drink coffee.

In fact, I've only had coffee one time in my life.

It's a horrible story.

But I'm going to tell it anyway.

Why not?

Diarrhea.

I was going for my SATs Saturday morning, and I wanted energy.

And I knew so little about coffee.

This is how stupid I am.

And you could say I'm still stupid, but this is how dumb I was as a teenager going for my SATs.

I go to Dunkin' Donuts, of course.

Uh-huh.

I order a coffee, and I try to use lingo that makes me sound like I know what I'm talking about.

So I say decaf.

Well, what the hell was the point of me getting coffee if I ordered decaf?