Jamie Mustard

We were vulnerable.

And the amount of friends that I've lost, it's really hard to describe the animalization.

And if our rooms or our dorms got too dirty, they would put like a sign on the door that we were dirty called pig's birthing or pig's room, that we were pigs.

So they raised us like pigs and they treated us

like pigs.

The way I would describe it is, say I was in a trench in World War I, and I was with my two best friends on each side of me.

And one of them takes a bullet to the center of the helmet, and I look over, and he's dead.

And then I hear a gadoong, and I look to the left, and there's a bullet in the center of his helmet, and he falls over dead.

And then I feel my helmet, and there's a hole in it.

And I take off my helmet, and there's a hole right through the center of my helmet.

And I'm feeling around, and somehow, I don't have a wound.

And then I get to go home.

I get to go back home.

And so you get this incredible feeling of...

A, shame.

And then B, how did I live through this?

It's called survivor's guilt, I think, isn't it?

Yeah.

So the military organization called the Cadet Org or Cadet Organization, the cadets, where we're wearing little lanyards and little military uniforms.

And we have a status and we're treating each other in this military structure and we're calling each other, sir.