Jamie Mustard

I remember reading that going, thank God I'm not in a situation like this.

By the age of five or six years old, I just basically started to go completely numb.

At one point, I go to visit my grandmother in New York every couple of years, and she puts me in the tub, looks at my body, and I'm rushed to the emergency room because no one was looking at my body.

The level of animalization is hard to describe.

And then you're getting this training to not react.

And then you're stigmatized if you're emotional or you get sick or you get into accidents.

Really, to answer your question, there's a really strong concept that you're hit with at three, four, that's every day in Scientology of this concept of the greatest good for the greatest number.

And it's very similar to communism.

You sacrifice the individual for the will of the state.

So you're being told at four or five years old, you're suffering when your mom comes to visit you once a week or once a month.

And when she leaves, you basically break psychically.

I would have these breakdowns where they would take three nannies to hold me back.

And then she would leave and then I would just break.

You're being told that there's planetary salvation at the end of it.

You're five, so you believe it.

And it is like living in a Kafkaesque world.

existential nightmare.

But you don't know that because it's the only world you ever know.

The current leader, I think, is both.

But I think he is a believer on some level.