Jamie Mustard

She's racking her brain.

And then finally she says, did you go to the London School of Economics?

And then we go for a coffee.

And then that night she calls me at my hotel and she says, can you come to a party tomorrow?

My mother is having a party and you're going to need a tuxedo.

And I said, I have a black suit.

She says, I won't do you need a tuxedo, but come here and we'll just figure it out.

I get there at 10 o'clock in the morning in Monaco where the party is.

She picks me up in a used shitty car and drives me to one of three houses in all of Monaco because Monaco is all apartments.

There's the palace and then one of these two houses.

Her mother is a direct descendant of Napoleon, is the imperial princess of France.

And they're having a party that night for French lifestyles of the rich and famous.

Okay.

And the Portuguese maid drives me, who doesn't speak English, drives me in another crappy car to town where I get fitted for a tuxedo that I walk out with.

The house has got 40 foot frescoes and they're all preparing for this party.

And then people live in the bottom of the house.

And I put on my tux pants and I realized that everything fits perfectly.

It's a perfect fit, except the guy didn't hem the pants and I'm panicking.

I'm panicking.

And this very beautiful older woman sees me in this like panic and I'm half dressed and all these musicians are getting dressed for the party.