Jared Freed

That's exactly why, for my career.

well yeah just look at like the dad trope is real is there for a reason like at some point you gotta fall to the back and be the dad who just gets people to the airport early you know like you're not the show you know like it's just how it works right and you go well why won't men commit well I don't wanna just dissolve into nothing so it's like it's a real fear you know yeah

but there's a lot of comfort in that too like I kind of like being in a relationship I'm like excited for the dad of it all yeah again I think continuously doing the same thing over and over again is what feels loser-y so it's like any sort of

Right.

And, but it is funny in this email, I kind of hear the guy who is trying to make a career and knows that his value is seen in his career dealing with the email or the woman who's 21, who's trying to be a nurturer and a caregiver.

And if you're dating someone who doesn't want to be nurtured or cared for,

You're not really dating someone who can feel like, what the fuck am I doing here?

So I feel like I've been slowly shutting down because every time I try to express how I feel, it turns into a defensiveness or gets flipped back on me.

So instead I hold it in and that turns into the bad energy he talks about.

I miss who I used to be more than anything.

I don't want to feel this way, but I also don't know how to go back to being soft, loving, and easy when I feel hurt and like things have never been truly resolved between us.

He sees who I am now, but I don't feel like he sees what created that.

It recently came to a head after a small argument and now he's saying he doesn't think the relationship will work, that we operate too differently and that we should separate before we hurt each other more.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting here feeling like I've been asking for emotional understanding and accountability this whole time and he's been asking for ease, support and peace and neither of us feel like we're getting it.

I've asked to try therapy because I feel like we need help to even communicate at this point, but he doesn't believe in it.

So my question is, are we both just failing to meet each other in the way the other needs?

Or is this a sign that we're fundamentally incompatible?

And how do you know when a relationship is worth trying to rebuild versus when it's already too far gone?

This is a very nicely written email.

I feel for her.