Jason Weiser

A little-known second part to that quote goes, unless the question is whether or not you can pull up a beech tree by the roots as a 14-year-old, with your only training being a lifetime of breastfeeding, then the answer is that you definitely can't.

But Henry Ford was also a Nazi sympathizer, so maybe he was wrong about this too.

Vitasco, to his credit, did try.

And failed.

Because he was a 14-year-old trying to pull up a beech tree by its roots.

Like Puxatani Phil, seeing his shadow and subjecting the world to six more weeks of winter...

Vitasko failing to pull a tree out of the ground meant seven more years of breastfeeding.

"'I just feel like maybe this is not healthy,' Vitasko said.

"'Most of my friends don't even remember when they stopped breastfeeding because they were so young, and yes, that is an awkward conversation to have with your friends.'

I think you might be under some sort of delusion that breastfeeding is going to give me superpowers.

His mother's eyes widened.

It was his 21st birthday, that meant... Cut to them standing in front of the beech tree.

If I don't pull this up... Vitasco trailed off.

We both know the answer to that.

Another seven years of breastfeeding.

The mother smiled.

maybe thinking he should give it his all to make mom proud.

Maybe Vitasco did not want to be breastfeeding when he was pushing 30 years old.

The young man knelt down to lift with his legs and stood.

At first he thought he lost his grip.