Jay Shetty

Was it shared interests, similar personalities, compatible backgrounds?

None of those.

The single strongest predictor of friendship formation was physical proximity.

People who lived closer to the stairwell, meaning more people passed by their door, had significantly more friends.

People who lived next to each other were far more likely to become closer friends than people who lived even two doors apart.

They called this the propinquity effect.

Subsequent research has confirmed this over and over.

Dr. Scott Beach and Dr. Richard Moreland at the University of Pittsburgh ran a study where they had research assistants attend a large university class.

Some attended zero times.

Some attended five times.

Some attended 10 times.

Some attended 15.

The assistants never spoke to anyone, never interacted, just showed up and sat there.

At the end of the semester, students were shown photos and asked to rate these people on attractiveness, likability, and similarity to themselves.

The assistants who had attended more classes were rated as significantly more likable and attractive without ever having spoken a word.

This is called the mere exposure effect.

Your brain equates familiarity with safety.

The more you see someone, the more your nervous system categorizes them as non-threatening, and the more positively you feel about them.

So what does this mean practically?

Stop hiding in the corner of the room.