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7147 total appearances
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When I first started dating my wife, I just had no idea what vegetarians ate.

I'm like a meat and potatoes guy from Ohio, and I wanted to make her dinner, and I wanted to really impress her because I was madly in love with her.

Did you cook beef?

The meal that I made her, I'm not proud of this, but I'll tell you, was, you know what crescent rolls are?

Those like Pillsbury yeast rolls.

So I rolled out a flat thing of crescent rolls.

I put raw broccoli on top of it.

I sprinkled ranch dressing and I stuck it in the oven for 45 minutes.

And that was disgusting.

And that was my vegetarian pizza that I made her.

Did you even follow a recipe?

You just decided just free will?

It's like cream.

I know she ate dairy.

It's broccoli and it's bread, right?

That's what vegetarians eat.