Jelly Roll

Stop breathing.

That if I rolled the other way, I'd suffocate myself.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, it's possible.

It was just, you know.

I rolled over one time on my stomach, and I was so fat that the way I rolled over, I trapped my left arm under me.

And my right arm almost wasn't strong enough to get me up enough to let the left arm loose.

Oh, my God.

I'm panicking like you're suffocating like I'm gonna die right here because I just physically don't have enough strength in one arm to get me from you know you roll over like this to get me up off of my other arm I can tell you right now I can do 20 push-ups though that's amazing I know it don't sound like a lot to the listener but from where I'm coming from big deal you know what I'm saying I'm in better shape than Bert Kreischer for sure you know what I'm saying I love you Bertie boy

I will say this to him and Tom, boy, they better bring their A game to the 5K this year.

Don't look up and I look like Tanner or Truett Haynes running with fucking jeans on.

I secretly want to beat him in the 5K, but it's a big to do.

I'm on your ass, Tommy Bunz.

He wouldn't commit.

No, totally different time.

He's a different human.

The left hand will wash the right hand in those situations.

You put a little alcohol in you, you're not thinking, you know what?

I think a Caesar salad with a salmon is pretty good tonight.

You're like, somebody take me in and out, baby.