Jennifer Selby Long

When I started this business, which is actually my second business, a few years after it started, we hit the dot-com bust. And the business sank, right? And really struggled. And then again, we got hit in 2008 when the economy collapsed in the United States. And it is so easy to fall into the self-sabotage. The reason, though, is really interesting.

When I started this business, which is actually my second business, a few years after it started, we hit the dot-com bust. And the business sank, right? And really struggled. And then again, we got hit in 2008 when the economy collapsed in the United States. And it is so easy to fall into the self-sabotage. The reason, though, is really interesting.

the AD, C-H-A-M-I-N-E, Shirzad Shamim. And he writes a great deal about the neuroscience of this because that self-sabotage is something that develops in very early childhood. It is almost entirely wired into our brains by the time we're five years old. Now, why is that in there? Those saboteurs, as he calls them, are neural networks that very tiny children develop to ensure their survival.

the AD, C-H-A-M-I-N-E, Shirzad Shamim. And he writes a great deal about the neuroscience of this because that self-sabotage is something that develops in very early childhood. It is almost entirely wired into our brains by the time we're five years old. Now, why is that in there? Those saboteurs, as he calls them, are neural networks that very tiny children develop to ensure their survival.

If a little tiny kid recognized that their parents were not infallible, which is actually true,

If a little tiny kid recognized that their parents were not infallible, which is actually true,

it would be terrifying because they cannot care for themselves right so these neural networks form as a vital part of early childhood they're just part of that survival mechanism however in adulthood we don't need those anymore but at that point they're really strong they've been there for decades right getting stronger and stronger and they're just lurking in there

it would be terrifying because they cannot care for themselves right so these neural networks form as a vital part of early childhood they're just part of that survival mechanism however in adulthood we don't need those anymore but at that point they're really strong they've been there for decades right getting stronger and stronger and they're just lurking in there

And I want to really convey the important message that when you start to feel yourself self-sabotaged, that's not you. That's the saboteur neural networks in your mind firing up. That's all that is. And they're sitting in there and they jump out. when they get a signal that indicates that there's a threat to survival.

And I want to really convey the important message that when you start to feel yourself self-sabotaged, that's not you. That's the saboteur neural networks in your mind firing up. That's all that is. And they're sitting in there and they jump out. when they get a signal that indicates that there's a threat to survival.

Of course, if you go after a contract in your new business and you work really hard on it, you put all this time into it. When you were an employee, if that contract didn't close, you still got your paycheck. But now all of a sudden, you're looking at, can I pay my rent? Can I make my mortgage? So that, of course, your brain fires that up as risk to survival. And so the saboteurs jump in there.

Of course, if you go after a contract in your new business and you work really hard on it, you put all this time into it. When you were an employee, if that contract didn't close, you still got your paycheck. But now all of a sudden, you're looking at, can I pay my rent? Can I make my mortgage? So that, of course, your brain fires that up as risk to survival. And so the saboteurs jump in there.

The universal saboteur is called the judge. Every single one of us has this. And the judge has snuck in there and is getting in your way when you feel a negative feeling and you are judging either yourself

The universal saboteur is called the judge. Every single one of us has this. And the judge has snuck in there and is getting in your way when you feel a negative feeling and you are judging either yourself

or someone else or the situation that is a sign that your judge is in there your judge is going to tell you you need me i am good for you but you don't need that judge to be talking and the judge is not good for you so the way that you can recognize that again you feel a negative feeling You're feeling stress, frustration, anxiety.

or someone else or the situation that is a sign that your judge is in there your judge is going to tell you you need me i am good for you but you don't need that judge to be talking and the judge is not good for you so the way that you can recognize that again you feel a negative feeling You're feeling stress, frustration, anxiety.

These are all signs that the judge is in there and your thoughts are in the direction of, ah, I'm such a fool, why did I do this? Or why, what's wrong with them that they didn't sign my contract, right? Or if only we had such and such process in place, we wouldn't have this problem, would we? Those are all signs that the judge neural network has fired up. And you just need to weaken that judge.

These are all signs that the judge is in there and your thoughts are in the direction of, ah, I'm such a fool, why did I do this? Or why, what's wrong with them that they didn't sign my contract, right? Or if only we had such and such process in place, we wouldn't have this problem, would we? Those are all signs that the judge neural network has fired up. And you just need to weaken that judge.

Yes, absolutely. And people have asked me, why is it so hard to make this judge go away? And I say, we don't necessarily want to make the judge entirely go away. That's almost impossible. It's a neural network that's in there. But boy, can we weaken that judge. And the reason I say we don't necessarily want the judge to completely go away because that negative feeling, it's like a warning sign.

Yes, absolutely. And people have asked me, why is it so hard to make this judge go away? And I say, we don't necessarily want to make the judge entirely go away. That's almost impossible. It's a neural network that's in there. But boy, can we weaken that judge. And the reason I say we don't necessarily want the judge to completely go away because that negative feeling, it's like a warning sign.