Jeremy

Stugatz.

All I have put in my body today is three cups of coffee and an entire cup of honey.

Before we go any further, though, let's examine the difference between how Miami is experiencing this and how the country is about to experience it, because I think the greatest

indignity here against the respecting of basketball is that somebody who is beloved, who died in a helicopter, had 81 points and was rightfully second on a historic list that basketball's distortions couldn't compromise.

And the way this game was played last night

was silly.

Nobody goes to the game to watch a record number of free throws from a single player.

43 free throws.

He made more free throws in a game than anyone ever has and he took more free throws in a game than anyone ever has and it's because they played him the entire second half and the whole

point of what everyone was doing because they know the Heat are above average and the Wizards are historically bad.

Cannot win basketball games on the road at all.

The Wizards exist basically to be the Washington Generals.

Can we look up the record of the Washington Generals all time against the Harlem Globetrotters?

because that's what it felt like last night.

You had everything.

I expected at one point Bam to take a bucket of confetti and throw it at some kids in the first row, pretending it's a bucket of water because it's the signature Harlem Globetrotters move.

Knowing what we know now, like, I would have preferred that he left the game with, like, five or six minutes left, a game that was not in doubt anymore, and he had, like, 74 points or whatever like that, and we didn't get to the Wizards doing the nonsense and then the Heat responding with their own nonsense.

You know, to Kobe Bryant.

You cannot care.

You cannot care about what anyone else thinks.