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Jillian Turecki

๐Ÿ‘ค Speaker
3770 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

Most people are not diving into it. And there is some value to saying, look, I grew up this way. You got to make the best of it and move on. And I realized that because mom was like this or dad wasn't always present, sometimes I do this. Most people, you are right, are not aware of their imperfections. But it takes a lot of confidence.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

Most people are not diving into it. And there is some value to saying, look, I grew up this way. You got to make the best of it and move on. And I realized that because mom was like this or dad wasn't always present, sometimes I do this. Most people, you are right, are not aware of their imperfections. But it takes a lot of confidence.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

Most people are not diving into it. And there is some value to saying, look, I grew up this way. You got to make the best of it and move on. And I realized that because mom was like this or dad wasn't always present, sometimes I do this. Most people, you are right, are not aware of their imperfections. But it takes a lot of confidence.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

You just have to know the ways in which you are actually difficult in a relationship and have a little sense of humor about it and love yourself anyway, and then say, you know, I'm going to work on this. That's really what it's all about. And then we also have to be very mindful of the fact that every single person has limitations. Now, some people have huge limitations, but we're all limited.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

You just have to know the ways in which you are actually difficult in a relationship and have a little sense of humor about it and love yourself anyway, and then say, you know, I'm going to work on this. That's really what it's all about. And then we also have to be very mindful of the fact that every single person has limitations. Now, some people have huge limitations, but we're all limited.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

You just have to know the ways in which you are actually difficult in a relationship and have a little sense of humor about it and love yourself anyway, and then say, you know, I'm going to work on this. That's really what it's all about. And then we also have to be very mindful of the fact that every single person has limitations. Now, some people have huge limitations, but we're all limited.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

So you have to, when choosing a partner, for example, to expect a unicorn, to expect this person who's just not going to have any limitations is very, very, very silly. Like you cannot do that. But what you can expect of yourself and of another person is someone who's aware of their limitations.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

So you have to, when choosing a partner, for example, to expect a unicorn, to expect this person who's just not going to have any limitations is very, very, very silly. Like you cannot do that. But what you can expect of yourself and of another person is someone who's aware of their limitations.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

So you have to, when choosing a partner, for example, to expect a unicorn, to expect this person who's just not going to have any limitations is very, very, very silly. Like you cannot do that. But what you can expect of yourself and of another person is someone who's aware of their limitations.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

And then what you have to be able to say to yourself is what limitations can I live with and what can I not live with?

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

And then what you have to be able to say to yourself is what limitations can I live with and what can I not live with?

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

And then what you have to be able to say to yourself is what limitations can I live with and what can I not live with?

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

And I hope that it woke her up a little bit. That's honestly a large part of what the book is about is you need to be able to see the role that you're playing in the dynamic. And even more, this is how you can change it because awareness is the first step, but then changing the behavior is the next step and changes where people is where we all struggle the most, to be honest.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

And I hope that it woke her up a little bit. That's honestly a large part of what the book is about is you need to be able to see the role that you're playing in the dynamic. And even more, this is how you can change it because awareness is the first step, but then changing the behavior is the next step and changes where people is where we all struggle the most, to be honest.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

And I hope that it woke her up a little bit. That's honestly a large part of what the book is about is you need to be able to see the role that you're playing in the dynamic. And even more, this is how you can change it because awareness is the first step, but then changing the behavior is the next step and changes where people is where we all struggle the most, to be honest.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

But yeah, I mean, if you love someone and you're in a relationship with them and something's not working out with them and you're going through a hard time, it's not to say that when there's a problem in a relationship, I am not suggesting that it's a 50-50 split, meaning like you're responsible for half of it and you're responsible for the other half.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

But yeah, I mean, if you love someone and you're in a relationship with them and something's not working out with them and you're going through a hard time, it's not to say that when there's a problem in a relationship, I am not suggesting that it's a 50-50 split, meaning like you're responsible for half of it and you're responsible for the other half.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

But yeah, I mean, if you love someone and you're in a relationship with them and something's not working out with them and you're going through a hard time, it's not to say that when there's a problem in a relationship, I am not suggesting that it's a 50-50 split, meaning like you're responsible for half of it and you're responsible for the other half.

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

No, it could very well be that one person is more of a problem. Their behavior is more of a problem than the other. But more times than not, it really does take two to tango. And so the constant finger pointing without being able to say to yourself, okay, what am I doing that's contributing to whatever it is that's not working in my relationship? The moment you can ask yourself that,

Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break Toxic Relationship Patterns with Jillian Turecki, Bumble Relationship Coach & Product Advisor

No, it could very well be that one person is more of a problem. Their behavior is more of a problem than the other. But more times than not, it really does take two to tango. And so the constant finger pointing without being able to say to yourself, okay, what am I doing that's contributing to whatever it is that's not working in my relationship? The moment you can ask yourself that,