Jim Gaffigan

No, I thought it was... Growing up in the Midwest, I used to look around and be like... I mean, I know I wanted to be a farmer and everything, but like... Sure. I was like, oh, I think there's, I used to, oh, there's been a mistake. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm supposed to be in New York. And then I got to New York and I was like, oh, well, I'm finally home.

And they're like, you're the most Midwestern looking guy I've ever seen in my life. So I realized how Midwestern I was when I left the Midwest.

And they're like, you're the most Midwestern looking guy I've ever seen in my life. So I realized how Midwestern I was when I left the Midwest.

And they're like, you're the most Midwestern looking guy I've ever seen in my life. So I realized how Midwestern I was when I left the Midwest.

And it's a sexiness, right? Like when you think Midwestern, they think sexy, you know. Yeah. Tim Walls, sexy.

And it's a sexiness, right? Like when you think Midwestern, they think sexy, you know. Yeah. Tim Walls, sexy.

And it's a sexiness, right? Like when you think Midwestern, they think sexy, you know. Yeah. Tim Walls, sexy.

Yeah, you're such a consistently- Next steak dinner, you know, when I wait, you know, your table, please tip. You know what I mean? Some of it's for the bus boys.

Yeah, you're such a consistently- Next steak dinner, you know, when I wait, you know, your table, please tip. You know what I mean? Some of it's for the bus boys.

Yeah, you're such a consistently- Next steak dinner, you know, when I wait, you know, your table, please tip. You know what I mean? Some of it's for the bus boys.

I would totally do that.

I would totally do that.

I would totally do that.

No, I love it, because there's certain excuses. Like when I go out with Seinfeld, I'm like, it's like, Jerry wants me to have pizza. And my wife's like, I understand. But if I'm just, you know, hanging out, you know, there has to be a reason behind it. And you guys are, you know, very high status. Wow.

No, I love it, because there's certain excuses. Like when I go out with Seinfeld, I'm like, it's like, Jerry wants me to have pizza. And my wife's like, I understand. But if I'm just, you know, hanging out, you know, there has to be a reason behind it. And you guys are, you know, very high status. Wow.

No, I love it, because there's certain excuses. Like when I go out with Seinfeld, I'm like, it's like, Jerry wants me to have pizza. And my wife's like, I understand. But if I'm just, you know, hanging out, you know, there has to be a reason behind it. And you guys are, you know, very high status. Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

My name is Jim Gaffigan, and I feel... I told myself I wasn't going to cry. I feel like they're going to edit this. I feel privileged about being Conan O'Briens. That's so nice.