Jim Nantz

I don't even think they have an audience. Who else are the Wizards going to ask to step in to be the representative? Washington Wizards. Listen, I would love to represent you.

I'm a Bullets fan.

Max had a great weekend. The round that he shot on Friday, I think it was a 70 that he shot on Friday. That was the best 70 that you'll ever see in your life. He was scrambling all day, somehow made it work. I'm very happy for him. I'm also very happy that JT didn't do that great.

Because if JT had finished, like, top five, His caddy is Max's old caddy that broke up with him. Well, just for this week. Yeah, just for this week.

Like he's pissed off at himself?

Yeah. It's more fun if you have your side. It's a weird sport. It's like this and I guess auto racing is kind of similar where you just pick a guy and you're like, I enjoy rooting for that one person. Right. And then if they have any semblance of beef with anybody else, then that guy is now your mortal enemy because you like rooting for that other human.

That's good. Iron sharpens iron.

So I can't find out who won the lottery, but Jay Busby said they've just announced the winners of the Masters Media Lottery, and you're going to be getting some good Here's How I Played Augusta stories on Tuesday. So a little teaser. Apparently it's worthy selections this year.

Did you see what many people are saying might have spurned Rory on to victory?

Yes.

No. I was going to say he's reading a book. Yeah, yeah. The Reckoning. Oh, that's the name of the book. Yeah, yeah. I liked it better when they just reported that he was reading a book. Oh. No, it's way better.

Hey! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I also like that John Grisham, all of his books are just the, and then a random word.

You just, he, he's like, okay, I've got a good idea for the next one. It's going to start with the, and then he flips a dictionary and stops in a word. He's like, okay, the client. Yeah.

Yeah. That's also John Grisham.

That's John Grisham.

So I was looking up the worst rounds ever shot at Augusta. The worst round ever shot technically never happened at Augusta. Because the guy that shot it, Billy Casper, he shot it in 2005. He shot 106 at Augusta. But in an all-time baller move, he finishes... and refuses to sign the scorecard. I love that. So it doesn't officially count. I love that.

So the 106 that he shot is not the worst round ever shot there.

He had an all-timer. Let me pull this up real quick.

He's been on one this weekend. This was sent to me by our good friend and kickoff ruiner, Sam Schwartzstein. Should items, this was a picture of gloves worn in the Frozen Four this weekend. The person who wore the gloves scored.

So this guy scored four goals.

He said, Darren Revelle says, should items like this go to the Hall of Fame in an era when collectibles are becoming more increasingly valuable? They sent the gloves to the Hall of Fame, and Darren's saying, why are these going? Why should anyone be able to enjoy these when one person can pay for the rights to only have them enjoy?

So also with this guy, he doesn't have the score, like you said. He is not allowed to speak to the media. Yep. And he does not get his name on the back of the caddy. Yep. So the guy, Michael, what's his name?

Michael McDermott. He's also apparently the CEO of a financial company.

McElroy would later say that Knox was the best I've ever seen on Augustus Green.

If you're the marker at Augusta, you are just part of the golf course.

Not A-Barrick.

So, yeah, the hurricane took him out on 10. The guys were cutting the corner. It was ridiculous. You could see where there should be trees. Yeah.

Well, no, I mean, it was fun. We saw him choke. He choked. That was good.

Yeah, that makes sense.

He vanquished it. What was the genesis of your hate towards Rory?

I love that we got free golf. Yeah. That was the perfect cap off to a great Masters. I wish we had more free golf. I wish the playoff went on. Credit to us for accurately picking what was going to happen at the end of this Masters. Or say it was our wish.

It is tough when you kind of like a guy, and then you have to compete against him in the Ryder Cup, and you're like, fuck this guy, and then forever he's got that state. I rooted against him that one time, and I kind of liked it, and I kind of want to keep doing it.

Why are you bearing the lead, though, Hank? You might be done. You might be done with live. Are you going to live yourself? Don't do it.

It's been two years of you trying to name the four aces.

I just ate half one.

I might like the play-in game.

The playing tournament for one exclusive reason this postseason. Yeah? That's if the Mavericks go on a little run. Yeah. That would be very, very funny to see. But outside of that, no, I don't like... The playing tournament sucks. Like, eight seeds. Give it to us, eight seeds. Don't break the nine and the ten into it. The regular season's long. We've got a big enough sample size.

That's the thing about the haters. The haters are remarkably resilient.

We introduced this just so that we could try to get superstars in that were playing on shitty teams. It sucks. I don't like it at all. It's...

It makes the regular season mean even less, which is hard to do for the NBA. Yeah. But somehow you manage to water it down a little bit more. It'd be so funny, though, if the Mavericks won a run. In the name of hilarity and just chaos, that's what I'm rooting for. NBA should have had the schedule today, tomorrow.

I think it's half Hank disrespecting the Cavs, half Hank hating the Cavs, and then the last is Hank being half scared of the Cavs.

Three halves to Hank's hatred.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And then John Morant, the Grizzlies, I don't know. I want John to keep playing more because I want him to keep finding different ways to pull out weapons, fake weapons, like throwing grenades at the crowd. I want him to turn like a nuclear weapon key. He has to get a teammate to help him do that one. I want this to keep getting more and more violent.

And then John just being like, fuck it, fine, you do whatever you want to. Yeah. Nobody's talking about the Rockets. Nobody's talked about the Rockets all year. Rockets are good.

I would like to officially put some part of my take respect on the Houston Rockets. Can we do that? Respect done. They got the LeBron stopper.

And then some team will give him $200 million.

This is the third time it's ever happened.

It's nice. Very nice. The Westbrook series from the Nuggets to the Clippers.

i feel like the team that used to have westbrook on their roster usually wins these types of series i might just be making that up it might be based off vibes but i feel like getting to play against him every night is good for the team that used to have him because they're constantly being reminded like thank god this guy's not on our team anymore yeah right yeah no he he's kind of been a little bit of a different player for the nuggets maybe he can just go revenge mode

But that's what I'm saying. Yeah, it's not good. When he goes revenge mode, that's actually bad.

Sweaty. Nipples protruding.

The fact that he freaked out by seeing this.

Yeah, the fact that he gets that upset by seeing another man take his clothes off is pretty suspect. Yeah, it's suspect.

Guys can't jack off.

That dude has never played a team sport if he's getting upset about having a guy jack off in his face in the locker room. Come on, man.

I love his whole thing because I think he's in love with LeBron because he's like, to see a man out there on the court, no shirt off. It's also funny. Working out, looking all strong. The only word that comes to my mind is fine.

Yeah, really bad reasons. Or good reasons. Bad things, but good reasons. I would say, Big Cat, which do you think is less professional? Working out shirtless or sexually harassing your entire staff? Nah, man, LeBron should put a shirt on. Fine. Because that's how sexual harassment starts. That's true. Broad walking around without his shirt on.

Yeah, so you can.

You got to stop that problem before it starts because somebody's going to fuck him.

But, I mean, he's definitely old school. Old school.

As a real hater. Also, in Skip's mind, the only reason that you could hate LeBron is if you're just supremely in love with Michael Jordan.

So I think Rory might be his own biggest hater. That's the thing. That's why I'm kind of okay with how it turned out. Rory loves to choke himself out. Yeah. And it's like good Rory and bad Rory out there on the course. And it's always like good Rory trying to fend off bad Rory for just long enough to make it work. Usually I feel like bad Rory is like six and three over good Rory. Yeah.

I think they'll win a series.

Yeah, but there's also a difference between the Knicks fans that can't afford tickets to go to every Knicks game and then the average Knicks fan. I think it's so expensive. I think Knicks fans are very passionate. They really care. Also... What Stan Van Gundy is describing, that's just fans. Yeah. Like, what would be a good sports town, then? A team that loves their shitty, shitty-ass teams.

Even when they're... Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. Also, in Philly, they boo you, but then if they realize that they booed you and gone too far, they'll sarcastically cheer for you to try to make you better. Wasn't sarcastic. It was.

It was at first. It was at first.

But then it worked. Wrong. Simulate the lottery one time, Max. Good call. Good call. We should go. Yeah. Agreed.

What are the odds of that happening?

And we saw bad Rory take it to a playoff against good Rory. Even to start, he went double bogey to start. Yeah, bad Rory, he teed off on one. And good Rory was like, fuck you, I'm not going to let you take over my day. Played pretty well. Then the **** nine happens. Second nine. Oh, fuck, sorry. Can we bleep that out?

You guys have a 10% shot at it?

You guys are building Duke 2.0. Yeah, true.

Should we talk about Nico at Tennessee a little bit? Yeah, let's talk about it. College sports. It was put into quite the turmoil on Saturday morning.

There is so much pearl clutching about what this means for the sport. We should back up a little. Nico got a shitload of money from the collective at the University of Tennessee to go to school at Tennessee. He was the number one recruited quarterback. They got him. They were pumped that they got him because can't miss prospect.

Tom Fernelli, your best friend, Hank, was sitting on that couch and said, Nico for Heisman before the season started. I bet it. He did not win. It did not work because it turns out he didn't play well at all against any good schools. He beat up on the trash cans, and then he was a very average to slightly below average quarterback in SEC play.

Then his dad or his uncle, a family member, I forget which one, a family member goes back to UT and says, hey, price of the bag just went up. I know you're paying, what, two mil?

They wanted four mil. So they said price of the bag just went up to keep Nico. Got to pay four million now because there's other schools that would pay that. And Tennessee was like, we're not going to talk about that right now. We're still in the season. In fact, it was the week of their playoff game that they had against – Ohio State, right?

That he was actively shopping himself, allegedly, to other teams. Then he does a holdout. So he doesn't go to practice. And he's holding out from team activities. This is after the playoff game.

The second nine happens, and the patrons were all going up and down alongside Rory. Because I feel like most of them were cheering him on. Yeah. But then the second you see some cracks in the armor... You get that little – there's like almost excitement to see how is Rory going to choke this one out again.

Yeah, so what Tennessee did was actually smart. They came out and they said, we're moving on from Nico before Nico had a chance to be like, I've entered the transfer portal.

Yeah, that's the thing. He's not good enough to get a raise from Tennessee up to $4 million. But there's probably another school out there that's willing to throw a bag at him. Oh, yeah, definitely. So he's going to get a raise. It's going to work out financially okay for him this year. But Big Cat's right. Tennessee is probably the best place he could be.

If he's thinking about where he wants to get drafted in the future.

And then on 16, he hit it in the water on maybe the easiest shot ever. And this, my friends, is why you should never lay up because Rory tried to play it safe. He laid up. Then he had a little chip shot into the water. If he hit that second shot with some balls and said, fuck it, I'm going to try to win this thing, then his second shot goes in the water.

The problem is like with basically no rules whatsoever. So, of course, this type of shit is going to happen. And when you gamble on like a five-star recruit out of high school, they don't always hit. Except now, guess what? Now you're tying a bunch of money to that person. And then when they leave, now you're pissed off because it's like, oh, shit.

I was told that I had to pay a million dollars to get this kid to go to my favorite school so I could watch him play. Then he sucked. And now I feel like I just wasted a million dollars. So, of course, the people that are funding it are going to be like, I don't want to pay for that anymore. Let's try to get somebody in the portal that's going to come here. They also, he fucked over the team.

Yeah. Because the team had a plan. Like they thought that Nico might be going as early as December of last year because they were starting to hear these like things about like Nico is unhappy. He's going to want more money. So they were going to try to recruit other quarterbacks.

But those other quarterbacks wouldn't go to school there if Nico was still the quarterback because they're like, this guy's going to start ahead of me for a year, maybe two years. So then they couldn't get their roster in order for next season because they thought Nico was coming back. And then Nico's like, actually, fuck it, I'm out.

Yeah. Listen, it's good for the players in terms of short term. They're able to bounce around where they want. If they think a different school is good for them, they get paid a shitload of money. It's not always the best thing to transfer, but that option's there, which is a good thing. But as a fan, it fucking sucks. Right. It really sucks. Eventually, I think that they should have trades.

If you're going to have holdouts, we got to have trades now. Do you think we'll ever get to a point where we have a college football draft?

I thought you meant like youth academies.

Like University of Tennessee middle school. Yeah, no, no, but... And then you recruit guys to go there when they're 11.

And then he takes the drop and he avoids the double bogey. Yeah. So he had that happen. He was probably pumped that Augusta doesn't allow cell phones and cameras out there, so nobody had any bad footage of it.

Yeah, I think that's good.

It will never happen. A draft will never happen for college football. But it would just be funny to think about it happening.

Also, Hank, did you hear this one? Did you know his name? It's Imaliva.

That's his last name. Nico Amileva. Amileva.

It's not Amistea. Did you hear that? That's the first time that's good.

That's one of yours. That's literally everyone.

Hank, the day that he signed with Tennessee, everybody that didn't get him made that joke immediately.

And then on 18, going into the bunker, and when he misses that putt, there was like a groundswell of excitement in the crowd, which is like, we're witnessing history here. We're witnessing, like, nobody had thought that Rory could choke things away worse than he has in the past. This would be an all-timer. What was that, a three-footer? No, a five, five or six. It looked three on TV.

Maybe I'm just biased because of the Tennessee fans that I know. There's more than one, probably. But the writing's been on the wall that Nico was probably going to try to rake him over the coals.

Yeah.

Good for him. I love watching Patty fight, too. Yeah. And then he got into a little bit of a shouting match afterwards, too. Yeah, with Colby Covington. Where he didn't really shout. He was just like, okay, dude.

Okay.

He would beat the fuck out of Colby Covington. That part sucked. He slapped Shane.

I'm going to host a dunk contest. That's kind of weird that you'd be hosting a contest for something that you can't do. Those who can't do, teach.

Um, so then I feel like people started to get excited. I started to get excited to see another classic Rory choke job, but then I saw he's playing against Justin Rose in the playoffs. And if it was a guy that I felt strongly about one way or the other, I think I would have liked to see that person beat Rory. But with Justin Rose, it's like, uh,

Very cool.

Okay, PFT. My Who's Back of the Week is takes. Fucking takes are back. You just got stopped in your tracks. I got dead stopped in my tracks right before we got started taping this segment. I have never even conceived of a take this hot in my brain. PFT literally, while we were sitting here, he just goes, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I go, oh, my God. And then you guys were like, what?

And I go, this tape.

Oh, my God. Kid, maybe. I can't even fathom what sport or just in general take this could be about. It hasn't done big numbers yet, but, I mean, I don't understand that. It's insane, even coming from the guy that it's coming from, Greg Doyle. Oh. Greg Doyle from the Indy Star.

Just dropped a column. This is the end of the internet. I don't think we can go any further than this. All right, here we go. Here's the post. Masters contender Bryson DeChambeau accepted $125 million from the alleged backers of 9-11. Quarterback Nico Ayamaliva sought additional millions from Tennessee. Which of these is okay with you and why? That's the post.

Then you open it up and it is a column... That is heaping equal amounts of judgment on both Bryson DeChambeau and Nico. Okay. Like they're both the same thing. Right. Can we talk about something serious without getting snagged by politics or race? Yeah. Dumb question.

That's always a great way to start out your article is to like ask a rhetorical question and then answer it saying that you shouldn't be doing this column.

No chance of that. Not for society as a whole anyway. But how about you? How about me? Can the two of us discuss the greed of two very different Americans and the very different societal reaction to that greed? Can we talk about Nico and Bryson? Can we do it without losing our mind? Can we do it without losing our soul?

Can we agree that one size as it relates to our reaction to their greed should fit both gentlemen? Both have shamelessly chased the almighty dollar. Nico decided $2 million in NIL wasn't enough to play quarterback for Tennessee. One year after the state's attorney general fought for and won his right to cash in so richly. Shame on Nico. Yeah.

The state's attorney, has he no respect for the effort and the days of paperwork that the state's attorney did?

DeChambeau chose to take $125 million from the Saudi Arabian government, which is believed to have funded the 9-11 attack on US soil. Only one has been largely vilified. No, not the guy bought off by the Saudis. No, I think as a society... I can say this 24 years since it happened. Um, we've come to the conclusion that nine 11 was bad.

Yeah. Like it's like, Oh, we really hard. Yeah. We talked about the entire solid year. I'm not, I'm not going to read this column, but somehow in Greg Doyle's brain, society has decided that nine 11 wasn't that bad. And that Nico is worse than nine 11.

Sir, sir. A second million dollars has been awarded to Nico for attending the University of Tennessee.

Right. That's like if American Airlines was like, MBS, let's talk turkey here. I'd like to do a frequent flyer mile.

So my other reel who's back of the week is Kidney Stones. We are the number one Kidney Stone podcast in the United States. Big Cat has been... You've had two bouts with the Stones, right? Two bouts has been... How many Stones total?

And so I had my first bout right after you had your first bout.

I had a baker's dozen inside me at that point. We're very synced up. I had 13 kidney stones in my system in like 2018. The first one really hurt badly to pass. The second and third, I felt them. They weren't nearly as bad. And then I just kind of forgot about him and didn't follow up with a urologist and figured it would all work its way out. Saturday, I'm sitting on my couch.

I'm helping Blake, who's recovering from his ACL surgery quite nicely. He's doing a great job. He did poop in the bed because he was super relaxed after the surgery, but that's fine. He's a good boy. So I was relaxing in my living room. It was about 6 p.m. yesterday, and I started to get this bad pain, but it's not the same as the first one that I got. this one was directly located on my nuts.

In fact, one nut in particular. So I was like, why does my nut hurt so bad? And it got worse, and then it got way worse. And then I felt like I was going to pass out and throw up. I started sweating. Did you just have permanent, like you feel like you just got hit in the nut? It feels like I got kicked in the nuts all the time. But it just didn't go away. And it got worse.

to the point where like I was I was about to pass out from it so I was like I gotta go to the hospital so I go to the hospital and then on my intake into the hospital the lady was like we need to get you fast pass to the back to do an ultrasound on you to make sure you don't have twisted testicles sometimes you hear about like I feel like some baseball players have had that

So then they do an ultrasound of my balls, which is very, it's a very strange thing. And they're like, if it's a twisted testicle, we might have to remove the testicle, but we might be able to save it. So now I'm like, fuck, am I going to walk out of the bathroom one ball lighter? Which I personally would be okay with because I always feel like it's like when you look at flowers,

One rose looks very pretty in a vase. Two roses looks awful.

Three roses looks great.

But I got two nuts. I'd be okay with having one nut. I could make that work.

Yeah. So then I'm in the hospital thinking I might be walking out here a ball lighter. And they do the ultrasound. They tell me good news. It's not the twisted testicle. By the way, I don't recommend anybody get an ultrasound done on their nuts because it's very awkward, especially when the technician's a female.

Yeah, they do the like warm gel and they had me get in this weird position and it was a whole thing. Anyway, so then I go back in the room and I don't know what's going on, but my nuts keep hurting worse and worse and worse and worse and worse. And eventually I get a CAT scan done after like four hours in the hospital feeling awful. And it's another kidney stone.

Which is, at that point, I was pumped. I was fucking pumped it was a kidney stone and I wasn't going to have to get a nut removed. So, yeah, I've been in pretty much, I was in excruciating pain from like 5 p.m. till 3 a.m. on Saturday.

Now I'm good until like an hour ago and it's coming back and it's bad. So yeah, hopefully I pissed this thing out tonight. I've been trying to piss while we podcast today and nothing's coming out.

Yeah. At the time, I was like, I'll change anything. I'll do anything. Just get me out of the hospital. And then they're like, it's a kidney stone. You just maybe need to have like one less bowl of ramen per week. And I'm like, yeah, no deal.

yeah no deal so yeah we're i mean we've been through this before i'll be able to piss this thing out i got multiple kidney stones i said but i'm i'm okay i'm i'm fine with it it could have been a lot worse so this technically means i'm back on the clock you're back because we have literally gone i had a kidney stone you had a kidney stone i had a kidney stone you had a kidney stone so i'm back it's it's my turn

No, probably not.

Because if anything... Well, yeah, that's maybe how it gets passed back and forth. We just piss it up each other's dicks all the time.

I'm sorry. It's okay. It's a lot of pain, but it's not nearly as much pain as I was in on a...

Yeah, well, good news is we're getting an impact player back. The El Camino is up and running. Oh, shit. Yeah. So now we're living high. Yeah. But yeah, so it was not a fun experience on Saturday. I will not be changing anything likely about my diet. That's good. Yeah. I mean, look, I am who I am at this stage. What am I going to do? Stop eating salt?

Salt is the best thing that you can eat. You can't. You can't do it. So Hank, you're actually on the clock. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thought about that? No. I'm before Hank. Yeah, that's probably true.

sorry it is it's a funny thing when the doctor comes back in and they read your labs for you and they're like yeah it turns out um your blood work is all excellent yeah but you're just you eat like a motherfucker and you've got gravel forming inside of your body so it was like yeah you could lose probably 15 20 25 pounds but everything else good is there a main cause for kidney stones is it salt yeah there's a couple things it could be dehydration it could be dehydration it could be somewhat hereditary ah there's one that i think probably is my fault uh

coffee yeah that could be it's anything that's like that that is uh what is it a diuretic no yeah the nurse told me like multiple caffeine drinks a day will do i was like well yeah i do that every day and she was like yeah me too yeah um it it's a different type of pain big cat you you were very well experienced in it uh it's the type of pain that people say i wouldn't wish on my biggest enemy i disagree wholeheartedly yeah

This is the exact thing that you should be wishing on your worst enemy.

Exactly. I want them. Yeah. Hank, yes.

Also, the doctor, again, for the second time, told me that this pain is worse than childbirth, which I will not be saying to any women.

But it is true. Yeah. And so I've given birth to like 13. I'm as tough as Philip Rivers' wife. Mm-hmm.

Okay. And they can be, that's just as painful. But it's gross when they do it. It's manly when we do it.

When I stand at the toilet and scream.

See, I can't wait for the second that I'm taking a piss and I hear the ping in the back of the toilet. You need to get the thing. I got to get the strainer. They didn't give me the strainer. Yeah, you feel like a gold rush guy. I would just piss into the strainer. I did gain a whole new appreciation, though, for ER staff. Yeah.

Because I had to sit out in the main lobby for not even that long because they rushed me back to do the ultrasound. But I was there for like five or six minutes. And the people that are in an emergency room at like 8 p.m., 9 p.m. on a Saturday night, God bless those that have to corral them and get them to communicate. Yeah.

Yeah, his drug test is like, yep. Yeah. All of them. Good. That dude loves ketamine.

He's just going to visit a practice and just talking about ball.

He looks so happy just being around a football team. Yeah. And somehow – and I felt a little bit hurt. I did because we've lined up in formation for him here at work. Yeah. And he doesn't have that same spunk in his step when he sees us do it as he does an actual collegiate Division I football team. It was a little bit hurtful.

when you see someone that happy in that habitat you're just like ah it's like if you get a dog like a border collie and you live in an apartment and your dog loves you you have a great time with the dog and then you take the dog out to like an open air dog park with some maybe some wildlife run around and you just see it immediately start to like hurt him and you're like that's where you should be doing that yeah well it's like he's he's a he he needs to be leading men

I love the speech that he gave too. I feel like he just, he listened to Meek Mill like a month ago and he just wrote down, I'm going to talk about dreams.

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Jim Nance almost laid the biggest jinx of all time, waxing poetic on Rory going down the 18th fairway, talking about how he grew up. By the way, shout out Rory's dad. I don't know if Rory's dad had a future bet on him to win the Masters like he did the Open Championship.

Yeah, multiple shots of a lifetime. You just described two of his shots of a lifetime today. It was an incredible comeback for him. After it was over, you get to see a little behind the scenes, Scott. You get to see what's going on when they're not on camera. What was Rory's mentality like? Did you see anything from him that showed relief? What were his emotions?

If Dickie B calls me Patrick, my name's Patrick.

I think he won like $400,000 on that the first time Rory won. Great dad. But yeah, Jim Nance was just, he was laying it on thick. He unloaded the clip. Thick with like seven Cs.

Yeah, I was wondering how he was going to handle that, you know, being tied for like playing the final group going into Sunday when you go home on Saturday. If you're Rory and you've got this history of blowing leads, what do you do? Because there's no chance that you're going to get a good night's sleep at that point, right?

You almost have to knock yourself out and be like, give me a sleeping pill at 7 p.m. Because otherwise I'm going to be staying up. I'm not going to sleep at all. I'm going to come into the course feeling like shit the next morning. I can't imagine the night's sleep that he had. And then the start that he had today.

Yeah, for sure. Also, shout out to Skip Bayless for dropping Bryson DeChambeau on us on a Sunday. That's one of the ones, hand up, we missed that one. But that's why Skip is the man. That's why he gets paid the big bucks.

And then to bounce back from that, I wonder what happened between holes one and two, like how how he managed to to stop the slide at that moment. Did you hear anything about that?

Although that was more of a – it was more of a – I agree with you that the initial shot that he had on 18, that is the worst distance to have to putt for a major championship from. Because it's enough to make you think about, I would rather putt from like two feet behind that, because then you have that little aggressiveness in your mind, like, I can make this, I can prove the haters wrong.

When you're putting from like four feet, you're thinking, oh, fuck, the haters might be right the entire time.

Before we started taping, he called me PDF, which I'm very glad that he didn't say that.

I think I tweeted out congrats to Rory on winning the Masters at like 10 a.m. this morning. I was so pumped up to see a potential Rory choke job.

That's it. I was rooting for him after he got into the playoff to win. But I'm not going to lie. I was pumped when he missed that putt because, like, number one, free golf. Number two, our dumb brains can continue on with the storyline of Rory can't win a big one at Augusta. I mean, you were there. What was the vibe like?

Because when I was watching on TV, I got the sense as Rory was falling back and Rose was coming on, I got the sense that the patrons were a little bit excited to see maybe an epic collapse from Rory, or at least have it be interesting at the end.

It's unbelievable. Wait, so he is talking to the media.

So he talked to you. Sounds like there might be an opening for the marker, Hank. We're trying to get Hank that gig. But it does seem like a very cool job. Has he ever mentioned anything about how he shouldn't play too good because he doesn't want to undermine anybody's confidence out there?

It was a win-win, truly, for everybody involved. Also, I don't know if you saw this, but last night, my man Skip put this out. Rory McIlroy is the LeBron James of golf. A supremely gifted, nice guy without killer instinct. Bryson DeChambeau is the Jake Paul of golf, who isn't afraid to do it his way. Skip Bayless just definitely walks around all day looking at things.

We thought that the worst crime was him wearing the upside-down Sun Devils hat. Yep. That was the worst look for Augusta. That's a new thing.

We didn't like it. It's like the bumper sticker that says, if you can read this, flip me over on a Jeep.

Yeah. What about Rory on 13 when he found the water after he laid up? That was one of the worst shots that I've seen by a major champion, maybe ever. So just how bad was that shot?

I mean, you know what that reminds me of? LeBron James, who I hate, by the way. I hate Paul, too. I think Skip is in love with LeBron James. He just sees him everywhere.

What are the options here? Nope.

And you know what, Scott? Maybe next year. Wait, what's that in the middle? The Ruger?

Is that a gun?

Oh, it's so dense. It's a hockey puck.

Yet airy.

430 calories.

Has it ended well?

No, this is actually like the start. Yeah, this is the start. You're confused about the start and the end.

No, it's perfect, because you know that he's not going to get there. So you're doing the whole, I'm going to start a movement to get Steve here.

So that you get the credit for starting the movement, but you know at the end of the day, this is your week. This is like taking time away from the family.

He's just trying to find something strange since you left him. He's going to start a podcast on a cruise ship with somebody.

Yeah, we won't go to the tournament. We'll just hang out at the airport.

And then we'll just wait for you.

It sounded like there were more birds there this year. Is that something you picked up on in person? The birds seem louder. Yeah, I heard a lot of chirps.

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Hank, do you have any tips?

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He would allegedly show it to servers.

Like, when I order toast, this is how I want it. And you thought that was fake.

Oh, I love that.

He loves his toast extra toasty, but the actual card was a joke on a reporter. It sounds like the joke was not really a joke. It was like, here, Jim, this will actually save you time. And then Jim was like, oh, that's so funny. Yeah. But it was like one of those serious ha-ha jokes. Yeah. But I'm happy we got to the bottom of it.

No, the tie's real. The tie is real. Giving away the tie was real.

Yeah, it was real because he was angry that the story got out. Yes. He was like, that's supposed to be just a nice behind-the-scenes thing. Yeah. How much do you think Jim Nance gets paid? A lot. I think he gets paid more than you think he does.

I'm going to guess Jim Nance gets $15 million a year. I would say more.

I mean, he does NFL and Masters. Oh, that's right, yeah. So probably $35 million. Yeah, he gets a lot.

Two. Well, I think every player... It could be 11, because every player can have their own shot of a lifetime. True. Rory can't. Jim Nance doesn't say shot of my lifetime, does he? Rory can't have another one. He even had two.

He's his fifth major.

I thought it was his fourth.

No, I just assumed four.

Open twice. Why were you that broken up about that, Memes? I don't know. He tied Brooks? No, no, he was just like, fuck.

We'll just find a simulator. You'll be on the simulator. You have to get married and divorced and then married again.

He's got nothing to lose. When Tiger came back and won at Augusta, was it 2019? Yeah. That felt like he left it all out there. We all kind of knew. It's incredible that this is happening, but let's not expect Tiger to go on one of his runs. With Rory, he's been so close so recently.

Yeah.

They did an interview with him afterwards, and they were like, what happened with one of your misses? I forget which one it was, but he was like, yeah, you know, the wind picked up after I hit it, so there's really not a lot I can do about that. And then he, like, looks at her and goes – I guess I'll just have to learn to hit the ball harder. So now that's his solution for everything.

He's going to have to drive the ball farther.

That's always such a disappointment when the last group, it's worse when both guys don't end up in competition at the very end. But when one guy just bows out, that's just sad to watch him finish the round of golf.

Oberg? Oberg. Yeah. He hasn't earned the umlaut.

I love it. I'm going to call him A-Berg until he wins. He doesn't deserve that. I bet on him. And Hank, please remind me to not bet on him to win any majors.

But here's the thing. Did you see how he finished today?

And this wasn't just a choke.

He could have won, but if he had the lead outright and that's how he ended his round, people would be – let's say he was in the final group today. And that's how he finished his round when he was in contention to win. People would be talking about that as maybe the biggest meltdown outside that French guy at the Open Championship.

Yeah, but no, I think it would be just as bad, if not worse, than Norman, the way he played those last few holes.