Jimmy Kimmel

Yeah, there are too many ways of watching me.

I mean, I remember the days when I didn't have a VCR when I fell in love with David Letterman.

And so I would have friends tape the show for me, friends who had a VCR.

And then I'd go from kind of house to house depending upon who would tolerate it and who would go along with it.

and who had the best set of rabbit ears on their TV.

And I'd watch the show when I couldn't stay up late enough to watch it.

Most nights I watched it live, but it's so easy now.

And it's just one of those things I know we'll be telling our grandkids, like, oh, you have no idea.

It's our version of walking without shoes through the snow to school.

I don't know that I ever asked permission.

My parents, we had, most of my life, we had a little 12-inch black-and-white television set.

And somewhere, sometime when I think I was in junior high school, my mom went to Macy's and bought a full-size color TV set.

And she expected my dad to be angry when he got home, but he wasn't.

And I took the little TV set right to my room, my office.

I thought it was an office, but I put it on my desk, and I never saw my family again.

Yeah, it's not me personally.

It's our staff.

We have one poor guy who has to sit there and write all this stuff up every night.

I just don't want to repeat jokes that have been on other shows.

I don't want to be accused of stealing jokes from other shows.