Joe Loya

I'm going forward.

And I know forward is anxious and anxiety-ridden because I don't know where I'm going to go.

I don't know where I'm going to be.

And I'm feeling the anxiety of the future because it's coming on me.

It's like, oh, everything's about to change.

But I'm like, I'm about the chaos.

I'm about the change agent.

I need to go there.

One thing I'm not doing, I'm not lurching back to the bondage I just escaped from.

And all these kids want to go back.

And I tell you, this is important because it made me feel like, oh, I'm going to start looking at people one way or two ways, one division.

You are either the kind of person who confronts change and emancipation with vigor and fear, yes, but drive and like, I'm going to embrace it.

Or you're a person when change comes and offers you an opportunity like, oh, shit, going to go back, going to lurch back to a bondage.

I'd rather be small.

I'm not going to.

I'm too afraid.

And I'm the guy who goes that way.

So I was always interested in meeting people and taking a measure of them and saying, okay, you're that person or you're that person.

And that night was important to me because I realized I'm the guy who can try and kill their father and be cool with it.

And which means everybody else in the world, you're not even my blood.