Joe Wells

What was it like being in the Beatles?

Oh, I thought he was just a voiceover.

Contrary to stereotypes, it's been a long, long time since I've watched Thomas the Tank Engine.

I imagine, well, he's a bit spiky, Ringo, isn't he?

I think that there was, he used to reply to all letters.

And then one, if you look up, there's a video he put out when he said he's not replying to any letters anymore.

And it's quite spiky.

But he keeps saying with peace and love throughout it, which is very funny.

Anyway, we've become sidetracked.

Yeah, whoever signed us up to Royal Caribbean Cruises, fuck you.

We're on the Unilever list.

Oh, my God.

We thought as a special treat, because I don't know whether we've mentioned it a hundred times, we've got a book coming out.

So we thought we'd read a couple of moments from the book because each chapter begins with a moment from one of our former guests.

What one are you going to go with?

Could have been very sexy, but not when you're oversimulated.

I love this from Sarah Gibbs, which I think is so lovely because it makes complete logical sense.

It's from the socialising chapter.

I once invited a bunch of people to a party where I informed them that there would be dancing.

Then I panicked about how to make people dance and so made a custom playlist where each song had marginally faster beats per minute and was baffled slash devastated when nobody was dancing.