John B. Allen (MrBallen)

And so my wife has always been like, I'm worried that you're going to like shoot me.

And so in that, don't worry, I have a place to keep this.

I've been thinking about it.

And so she has been anti-gun because I, did I tell you about my prolific sleepwalking?

I think you did.

I have, so this is according to ChatGPT.

So this is not a true diagnosis, but I've gone to sleep studies.

I've asked, I mean, I've seen sleep doctors and no one can figure out what's going on.

Basically, I go to bed and within about 30 minutes of falling asleep, I am up.

This is most nights.

This is the majority of nights.

Okay, that's probably a stretch.

It's at least two or three times a week, at least.

I wake up.

And I'm in this half stupor.

I sleep by myself.

I have alarms set to the room that I sleep in that Antonio, who's my security guy, he sets special alarms on the doors that lead out of the house from my room.

So if I bolt at night, he's alerted to it.

And so I jump out of bed and I start running screaming, what the fuck is going on?

Are you serious?