John Delony

You get to decide, are you going to violate your own boundaries because you feel guilty, you feel uncomfortable, whatever, and you're going to head back into it?

Or are you going to say, if he needs something, he'll call me and then I get to choose whether I engage in it or not.

You know exactly what he's thinking about it.

You know exactly what he's thinking.

So I mentioned this on a recent episode.

My friend, Dr. Becky Kennedy, she's a clinical psychologist in New York.

She gave me a new definition of guilt.

And she was talking about mom guilt, but I think it plays to dad guilt, and I think it plays to guilt in general when it comes to relationships.

It's a really powerful reframe.

Can I tell it to you?

Yes.

All right, here it is.

Is going on a date, planning a date and going on it, and your dad's blowing up your phone because he wants you to read the mail to him.

Is going on that date and texting your dad back, Dad, I'll read your mail on Fridays when I always come over and read all of your mail to you.

Is going on that date, does that make you a bad daughter?

No, no, no, no.

According to you.

Does that violate your values?

No.

Making plans as an adult and going on a trip.