John Delony

The whole reason I started flying and anyway, um, so, you know, then month two rolls by and nothing's changed and I'm kind of chalking it up to,

Just, you know, hey, look, this was an important job and I miss it.

But long story short, you know, I'm about 18 months removed from it.

And those feelings are still there.

And the intensity of those feelings hasn't changed.

And the missing the job, that's not what's difficult to cope with.

What I'm finding difficult to cope with is when I find myself ruminating on my old job, and I can explain some specific behaviors that I'm doing that

are probably beyond something that's healthy for an old job.

But, you know, it's associated with tremendous feelings of guilt because the reason that I left was to prioritize my family.

And I want to be super clear.

If I rolled the tape back a thousand times, a thousand times out of a thousand, I make the same decision.

Let me jump in.

So my friend, Becky Kennedy, she's a psychologist out of New York.

She reframed guilt for me, and it's completely transformed how I see it and experience it and call it out, okay?

Okay.

So she said what often masquerades as guilt is something completely different.

Guilt is a good feeling, a biologically, a relationally, whatever word you want to attach to it.

It's a good feeling when you violate your own values.

I believe you that you did not violate your own values here.

And so if we go down that thought experiment, what usually it means that I am either a taking somebody else's feelings and trying to hold them and manage them for them, or I'm not being honest with myself about my,