John Oliver

My God, this is the Tolstoy version of it.

My God, this is the Tolstoy version of it.

This is going to be the war and peace, crime and punishment version.

This is going to be the war and peace, crime and punishment version.

Conveniently left that out. I left that out. You know, you got it. Nobody wants to date somebody with children.

Conveniently left that out. I left that out. You know, you got it. Nobody wants to date somebody with children.

Well, you told us not to go and leave our rooms. No. Yeah. And not to talk to the man. Exactly. So I came out to talk to the man.

Well, you told us not to go and leave our rooms. No. Yeah. And not to talk to the man. Exactly. So I came out to talk to the man.

Dating my mom to try to wreck the date. Yes. That was 13 or whatever.

Dating my mom to try to wreck the date. Yes. That was 13 or whatever.

And then my brother and I sit on either side of the guy.

And then my brother and I sit on either side of the guy.

He was my stooge.

He was my stooge.

Well, good. We got rid of him. That was just a test. That was the story. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for joining us. Next week we'll go into another very long, in-depth story brought to you by the Leguizamos. Do you still hold that hope that someday I'm going to get a real job?

Well, good. We got rid of him. That was just a test. That was the story. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for joining us. Next week we'll go into another very long, in-depth story brought to you by the Leguizamos. Do you still hold that hope that someday I'm going to get a real job?

Oh, Pierce 122 downtown.

Oh, Pierce 122 downtown.

No?

No?