John R. Miles

You can find all of that at theignitedlife.net.

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Now let's look at the cost of staying in character because once you see that spotlight, you start to see the fine print in the contract.

you start to notice the terms of the contract you've been signing every single day.

A lot of what we call belonging is actually just a performance contract.

We think we're part of a community, a family, or a team because of who we are, but often we are only there because of how we behave, and more importantly, how we make everyone else feel.

We don't always see the terms of the contract until we try to change them.

Think about Truman Capote.

If you're not familiar with him, Capote was the toast of New York high society in the 1950s and 60s.

He was the author of Breakfast at Tiffany's,

But he was even more famous as a social fixture.

He surrounded himself with a group of the wealthiest, most powerful women in the world, women like Babe Paley and Gloria Guinness, whom he famously called his swans.

For 20 years, Capote was the ultimate agreeable slave.

He was the gold standard of social utility.

He was the witty entertainer, the perfect dinner guest who knew all the secrets and made the elite feel interesting and seen.

In exchange, he was given the keys to the kingdom, yachts, estates, and absolute belonging.

He played the role perfectly.

But in 1975, Capote had his own spotlight moment.