John "Shrek" McPhee

I didn't volunteer.

So in Assadabad, basically one day we ran out of beef jerky and Pop-Tarts.

I like them Pop-Tarts, you know what I mean?

Like I eat them brown sugar Pop-Tarts.

You just keep them coming.

Everything will be fucking fine.

So like we're eating like fucking vegetables and like fucking goat on the local economy in Assadabad.

And I went to my boss like, yo, we're the fucking Defoe, man.

You know what I mean?

I know in Bagram, they got more fucking beef jerky than they could ever fucking eat.

They got all the pogey like...

Let me go fly back, fill my truck and bring it back.

And my boss is like, schedule those airplanes, do whatever the fuck you want.

I was like, got it.

So I did all the coordinations.

Next night, fucking Chinook comes in, drive in it alone on my Toyota truck, flies me to Bagram.

I get out at Bagram, I drive to the chow hall, to my squadron guy.

And I'm like, yo.

and the cook, the squadron cook, always make that guy your best friend.

I'm like, yo, fill my truck, man.