John "Shrek" McPhee

Like, you know what I mean?

Like you're riding this roller coaster and then they're like, there's trouble in Sierra Leone.

Like, let's go.

We're going to jump on the, you know what I mean?

So like as a young guy, fuck, that's all you thought about.

You know what I mean?

No, it was a fucked up jump.

30 knot wins.

General Grange, then Colonel Grange was the... Matter of fact, I just did a water jump with him last year.

I had beefed out with him.

I was like, I got beef with you.

You're the only motherfucker to puncture my fucking body in 20 motherfucking years, right?

And then I JMP'd him in a static line shoot.

And I'm just like...

snatching shit and then my buddy Danny's like yo you done jerking a general around I'm like I feel better like we we beefed it out we're best friends now like so General Grange was the commander then but

I had a great time with him last year.

He's a friend of mine.

But at the time, I'm just a private in the back of the stack, you know, static line up, my fucking shit on, combat loaded to the fucking teeth.

Who knew how much I weighed?

Mortar rounds in my backpack.