John "Shrek" McPhee

So I cut it off with scissors.

They look at it.

And then the first time, it's like, oh, god damn it.

And then the medic was like.

who did the dressings?

I was like, well, I did sardines, I did a double pressure dressing, one and then another to try to close the gap, because it was too big.

And he was like, goes in his bag, throws me more shit, put that back on.

I'm like thinking, fucking this is how this goes, you know?

So they like had to do some road march, whatever the mission was going to be, kind of petered out.

They end up walking like 50 fucking miles for no reason with all this heavy shit.

So all I missed was like a fucking heavy tactical road march, which...

I would have crushed anyway, because road marching is what I do.

But yeah, and then I was just kind of broke.

And they were supposed to cast my leg and then my squad leader, because I'm a private.

You're not going to see the medic.

Can I see the medic?

My leg hurts.

You're just being a pussy.

So I went through that for a while.

And then by the time my squad leader was gone one day, I went to actually see the medic.