Johnny

Um, but that's why I struggled a lot towards the end of last year from about June, July to probably November was my, my faith became, there's so much pressure on me right now. And I have to do this because of the pressure. And I felt like there were just swords pointed at me from every angle. And I'm not trying to make excuses, but I'm in my room. I'm not even 21 at the time. I'm 20.

I'm just trying to figure this whole thing out. I'm still trying to figure my faith out, challenging God. So I felt like every day I was struggling and not just like, oh, one day I struggled with anger and next day I struggled with lust.

I'm just trying to figure this whole thing out. I'm still trying to figure my faith out, challenging God. So I felt like every day I was struggling and not just like, oh, one day I struggled with anger and next day I struggled with lust.

I'm just trying to figure this whole thing out. I'm still trying to figure my faith out, challenging God. So I felt like every day I was struggling and not just like, oh, one day I struggled with anger and next day I struggled with lust.

It felt like every day, every temptation was in my face and my faith became, let me learn as much as I can just so I can make this video, just so I can shepherd these people. And it was draining and it was hard and it sucked. And it was tough, and I was having a hard time. And I love the language in the Prodigal Son of like, I kind of finally came to myself. Like, I hate this.

It felt like every day, every temptation was in my face and my faith became, let me learn as much as I can just so I can make this video, just so I can shepherd these people. And it was draining and it was hard and it sucked. And it was tough, and I was having a hard time. And I love the language in the Prodigal Son of like, I kind of finally came to myself. Like, I hate this.

It felt like every day, every temptation was in my face and my faith became, let me learn as much as I can just so I can make this video, just so I can shepherd these people. And it was draining and it was hard and it sucked. And it was tough, and I was having a hard time. And I love the language in the Prodigal Son of like, I kind of finally came to myself. Like, I hate this.

I seriously hate this. And it was hard because I felt this pressure and weight to be this perfect person and exalted and you know, the sores, and I didn't feel prideful. I didn't feel like I was anything special, but everyone were making me out to be this special person and the pressure, and so I was just lost and confused, and my faith became solely intellectual.

I seriously hate this. And it was hard because I felt this pressure and weight to be this perfect person and exalted and you know, the sores, and I didn't feel prideful. I didn't feel like I was anything special, but everyone were making me out to be this special person and the pressure, and so I was just lost and confused, and my faith became solely intellectual.

I seriously hate this. And it was hard because I felt this pressure and weight to be this perfect person and exalted and you know, the sores, and I didn't feel prideful. I didn't feel like I was anything special, but everyone were making me out to be this special person and the pressure, and so I was just lost and confused, and my faith became solely intellectual.

It was all logic, and I felt like I was solely based on how much knowledge I knew, and the more knowledge I knew, I was closer to God, and I was building my own tower of Babel based on how much knowledge I felt, and

It was all logic, and I felt like I was solely based on how much knowledge I knew, and the more knowledge I knew, I was closer to God, and I was building my own tower of Babel based on how much knowledge I felt, and

It was all logic, and I felt like I was solely based on how much knowledge I knew, and the more knowledge I knew, I was closer to God, and I was building my own tower of Babel based on how much knowledge I felt, and

finally i got to a point where at the at the at the beginning of this year well i i took a lot of rest in december because i was like i can't keep doing this i gotta take rest and at the beginning of the year i'm at a conference and i look to my left and there's a deaf section six people deaf and they're looking at an interpreter doing sign language and they're on their knees crying to god

finally i got to a point where at the at the at the beginning of this year well i i took a lot of rest in december because i was like i can't keep doing this i gotta take rest and at the beginning of the year i'm at a conference and i look to my left and there's a deaf section six people deaf and they're looking at an interpreter doing sign language and they're on their knees crying to god

finally i got to a point where at the at the at the beginning of this year well i i took a lot of rest in december because i was like i can't keep doing this i gotta take rest and at the beginning of the year i'm at a conference and i look to my left and there's a deaf section six people deaf and they're looking at an interpreter doing sign language and they're on their knees crying to god

And it kind of stopped me, and I started weeping. And I just go, I just need my dad. In that moment, I'm weeping, and I'm like, I just need my dad. I can't do this anymore.

And it kind of stopped me, and I started weeping. And I just go, I just need my dad. In that moment, I'm weeping, and I'm like, I just need my dad. I can't do this anymore.

And it kind of stopped me, and I started weeping. And I just go, I just need my dad. In that moment, I'm weeping, and I'm like, I just need my dad. I can't do this anymore.

Bryce can't keep micromanaging his faith because Bryce was a strong man in his faith and was struggling, and my faith that was sustained through just this person of Jesus, and he's a real person to me, became dopamine hits of where can I get a dopamine hit to micromanage my faith and all of these things, and I felt so crazy, and I felt like it was all on me, and I just finally went exactly like the prodigal son of I just need my dad.