Jonah Berger

And so some very nice research shows that when we want to encourage people and encourage them in a positive way, sometimes it's better as parents or as loved ones or as colleagues to

to to talk about states rather than than traits right I can tell you worked really hard on this I'm so proud of the effort you put in right recognizing that they did a good thing but recognizing that the way they got there wasn't just who they are it's the work they put in which is going to encourage them to put the work in next time rather than just assuming that it'll happen because I'm I'm just great as is you say the word because is very important that

Yeah, there's a nice study that was done many years ago now in New York City where they went up to people at a library and they said, hey, I know you're in the middle of making copies.

The person was in the middle of making copies.

And they basically interrupted them and said, let me cut in line.

Usually I would have to wait, but I need to go ahead of you to make copies.

And not surprisingly, most people said no.

But they were interested in what would lead people to say yes.

And so some people went up there and they said, hey, I'd like to make some copies.

And most people said no.

A different group of people approached them and said, hey, I'd like to make some copies because, and then listed a reason.

And they found that the people who said because, others were about 50% more likely to go ahead and say yes, to let this person cut ahead of them.

in line.

And you might say, well, yeah, but that's because they gave a really good reason, right?

I mean, because here's a really good reason, but there was a third set of people, a third set of people were approached and they were said, hey, you know, can I cut in line to make copies?

Because, and then they gave a really terrible reason, because I need to make copies.

Now,

That's obvious, right?

If I'm asking you to cut in line to make copies, it's clear that I need to make copies.

Yet even in that situation where the reason wasn't a very good reason, people are still around 50% more likely to say yes.