Jonathan Fields

is that the most meaningful stuff rarely looks like that.

It's the seed you plant without needing to see them grow.

It's helping a friend through something hard.

It's the conversation that you have with your kid that you won't even remember having, but that lands in them anyway.

So three things in particular I carry from this one.

First, the concept of the pinhole.

Most of us make enormous bets on what we want our lives to be while seeing less than 5% of what's actually available.

That's worth sitting with, especially if you're at a moment of transition.

Second, the idea of the ladder versus the garden.

Life isn't zero-sum.

Someone else's flourishing doesn't subtract from yours.

And the sooner you stop climbing and just start tending, the more of it actually just sticks.

And third, the headstone test.

Tom walks through a cemetery near his house when he needs a kind of a reset.

Nothing on these stones mentioned status or titles or salaries or followers, just relationships, just the people someone showed up for.

If you can orient your gaze towards the things that would end up there, you're probably pointed in the right direction.

So this week, maybe notice one moment where you're reacting to something, an email, a feed, reflex, versus one moment where you're actually choosing.

Just noticing is enough to get started.

Hey, before you leave, next week, we're sitting down with Bella Gandhi to talk about why midlife is actually the moment most people become more ready for a real relationship and what's quietly getting in the way of finding love later in life.

Be sure to follow Good Life Project wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss any upcoming episodes.