Jonathan Haidt

They're looking for examples to copy.

They're definitely copying you.

So do be careful when you're with toddlers.

You really need to do a lot of eye contact.

Don't do the continuous partial attention.

Young kids, they really need to develop that sense of mutual gaze and interaction.

Teenagers are not really copying you.

So I would say insist on really good family norms and then honor those norms.

And that means, like in my family, we have an absolute rule.

No phones at the table.

No matter how important it is for you to look up this fact relevant to the conversation.

Don't go get your phone and look it up.

That's just the rule.

We do not bring phones to the table.

And they have to be out of the bedroom at a certain time, put them on the counter in the kitchen charging at 10 o'clock or whatever the time is you pick for your family.

So definitely establish family norms that you respect and then make those stick.

But don't expect that your kid is copying you.

I mean, if you stop checking Instagram all the time, is your kid going to say, oh, well, I'll stop?

No, they're completely addicted.

They're socially addicted.