Jonathan Haidt

So girls really thrive if they have a couple of close friends They tend to get together in small groups and talk. Boys tend to choose larger groups and then they'll break up into teams to do sports or competition. That's what kids do when they can do what they want. And with the girls, what happened was once they all got onto Instagram, now it's not just you and a couple of friends.

So girls really thrive if they have a couple of close friends They tend to get together in small groups and talk. Boys tend to choose larger groups and then they'll break up into teams to do sports or competition. That's what kids do when they can do what they want. And with the girls, what happened was once they all got onto Instagram, now it's not just you and a couple of friends.

Now you're communicating with all these, so many more people. And we thought maybe 10, 15 years ago, well, maybe this is good. They're super connected. But it turns out that if you're having hundreds and hundreds of communications each day with lots of people, then there's no time for you to have those close friendships.

Now you're communicating with all these, so many more people. And we thought maybe 10, 15 years ago, well, maybe this is good. They're super connected. But it turns out that if you're having hundreds and hundreds of communications each day with lots of people, then there's no time for you to have those close friendships.

And so for the girls, social media seems to connect them virtually, but at the cost of connecting them in real life. And so the girls got lonely, even though social media is supposed to be so, you know, it's supposed to help you find community. Yeah. But the girls get lonelier once they get on it. With boys, the video games are better than social media in that at least it's synchronous.

And so for the girls, social media seems to connect them virtually, but at the cost of connecting them in real life. And so the girls got lonely, even though social media is supposed to be so, you know, it's supposed to help you find community. Yeah. But the girls get lonelier once they get on it. With boys, the video games are better than social media in that at least it's synchronous.

That is, you know, my son, we finally let him have Fortnite when COVID started. And I'm very glad we did because that was the only way that the boys were getting together. And I would hear him laughing his head off with his headphones on. So at least for the boys, what they're doing is at least synchronous. And so that's good. And they're laughing, which is good.

That is, you know, my son, we finally let him have Fortnite when COVID started. And I'm very glad we did because that was the only way that the boys were getting together. And I would hear him laughing his head off with his headphones on. So at least for the boys, what they're doing is at least synchronous. And so that's good. And they're laughing, which is good.

But what we're seeing now is that there's really something special about being together in person. A lot of us, we've seen this since COVID. Now we do a Zoom, you know, like what we're doing now. Like I've done a lot of interviews on Zoom. Like this is so much more fun to be sitting across the table from you guys. That's what we talk about.

But what we're seeing now is that there's really something special about being together in person. A lot of us, we've seen this since COVID. Now we do a Zoom, you know, like what we're doing now. Like I've done a lot of interviews on Zoom. Like this is so much more fun to be sitting across the table from you guys. That's what we talk about.

But I love that you said that. So my brain is going really fast here because I'm making a connection. I wish I had this in the book. In my book, The Righteous Mind, I cover the work of Michael Tomasello on joint attention. And he, Tomasello, did this amazing work with children and chimpanzees.

But I love that you said that. So my brain is going really fast here because I'm making a connection. I wish I had this in the book. In my book, The Righteous Mind, I cover the work of Michael Tomasello on joint attention. And he, Tomasello, did this amazing work with children and chimpanzees.

And he found that even though chimpanzees are really smart, and when you compare a chimpanzee to a two-year-old child that's solving physical tasks like using tools, they're equal. But when you have a social task about like the experimenter gives you a signal, like open, like look at that cup. It's there. The reward is under that cup, not that one. The monkeys have no clue. The apes have no clue.

And he found that even though chimpanzees are really smart, and when you compare a chimpanzee to a two-year-old child that's solving physical tasks like using tools, they're equal. But when you have a social task about like the experimenter gives you a signal, like open, like look at that cup. It's there. The reward is under that cup, not that one. The monkeys have no clue. The apes have no clue.

They don't take signals. Whereas the kids are communicating even before they can speak. They understand what is being communicated. And he points out, and I think this is really important here. He points out that we have this ability to do joint attention, which is where, like right now, we are all totally aware that we are doing a podcast together. Yes.

They don't take signals. Whereas the kids are communicating even before they can speak. They understand what is being communicated. And he points out, and I think this is really important here. He points out that we have this ability to do joint attention, which is where, like right now, we are all totally aware that we are doing a podcast together. Yes.

And we all kind of know we're dividing the labor and we're taking turns.

And we all kind of know we're dividing the labor and we're taking turns.

All of that is happening. So Tomasella says, it is inconceivable that you would ever see two chimps carrying a log together. So they could easily escape from their enclosure if they could pick up the log and go.

All of that is happening. So Tomasella says, it is inconceivable that you would ever see two chimps carrying a log together. So they could easily escape from their enclosure if they could pick up the log and go.