Jordan Hope

And if I like look back at my childhood, I can see so many ways that my mom used different, very like clear autistic traits to try to say that I had medical stuff going on or try to like use it as reasons that I was actually really sick and needed medication or needed to be hospitalized or needed all these different things. It's like interesting, right?

And if I like look back at my childhood, I can see so many ways that my mom used different, very like clear autistic traits to try to say that I had medical stuff going on or try to like use it as reasons that I was actually really sick and needed medication or needed to be hospitalized or needed all these different things. It's like interesting, right?

Because it's like, oh, well, if you would have just said like, I think my child is autistic, like that would have gotten you attention and sympathy and like all these different things. But that wouldn't have been in her control. She didn't have control over my autistic behaviors, over like headbanging or like things like that. That wasn't in her control.

Because it's like, oh, well, if you would have just said like, I think my child is autistic, like that would have gotten you attention and sympathy and like all these different things. But that wouldn't have been in her control. She didn't have control over my autistic behaviors, over like headbanging or like things like that. That wasn't in her control.

So she neglected those things because that wouldn't fit with her narrative. She didn't have control over that. She had control over giving me pain meds or overdosing me on medication or convincing me I couldn't walk because then I was sick when she needed me to be sick. I was sick when we would go to the doctor.

So she neglected those things because that wouldn't fit with her narrative. She didn't have control over that. She had control over giving me pain meds or overdosing me on medication or convincing me I couldn't walk because then I was sick when she needed me to be sick. I was sick when we would go to the doctor.

I would be sick when we would be out and about, but then I wouldn't be sick when she didn't have time to care for me or when she wanted to be drinking or doing other things. So we see that a lot where a child will have an actual illness that's being neglected, but then these other symptoms or these other things are being induced or fabricated or exaggerated for the attention piece.

I would be sick when we would be out and about, but then I wouldn't be sick when she didn't have time to care for me or when she wanted to be drinking or doing other things. So we see that a lot where a child will have an actual illness that's being neglected, but then these other symptoms or these other things are being induced or fabricated or exaggerated for the attention piece.

survivors also want to believe like, okay, well, I must be fully healthy then. If I'm not sick, if these things weren't real, then recovery, healing must equal being fully healthy. And I think there's also a pressure from society that that is what healing is, that that is what recovery is.

survivors also want to believe like, okay, well, I must be fully healthy then. If I'm not sick, if these things weren't real, then recovery, healing must equal being fully healthy. And I think there's also a pressure from society that that is what healing is, that that is what recovery is.

And there's this whole big grief that a lot of people have to go through of, oh, well, maybe I actually now have chronic illnesses. because of the abuse that I endured or I have chronic illnesses that were missed.

And there's this whole big grief that a lot of people have to go through of, oh, well, maybe I actually now have chronic illnesses. because of the abuse that I endured or I have chronic illnesses that were missed.

But some of those things, right, like having to look in the mirror every day and see I have these scars on my body that were when my mom abused me and having to take medicine or having to do different things daily to care I do have these things now. I'm still...

But some of those things, right, like having to look in the mirror every day and see I have these scars on my body that were when my mom abused me and having to take medicine or having to do different things daily to care I do have these things now. I'm still...

healthier than I thought I was I still can heal in many ways and obviously healing is more than physical but you still have to work through all of these different things and recognize like okay so now I have to somehow navigate on my own what was real what was fabricated what is actually happening in my body is this dizziness that I feel physical does it mean that I need medication or to go to a doctor or

healthier than I thought I was I still can heal in many ways and obviously healing is more than physical but you still have to work through all of these different things and recognize like okay so now I have to somehow navigate on my own what was real what was fabricated what is actually happening in my body is this dizziness that I feel physical does it mean that I need medication or to go to a doctor or

need to drink more water? Or does this dizziness, is it fully psychosomatic? And my mom just told me that I had this disorder and there's nobody to help with that. There's no doctors really at this point that you can be like, hey, can you like look through my 20,000 pages of records that like make no sense and help me navigate what's real and what's not? So then survivors are just

need to drink more water? Or does this dizziness, is it fully psychosomatic? And my mom just told me that I had this disorder and there's nobody to help with that. There's no doctors really at this point that you can be like, hey, can you like look through my 20,000 pages of records that like make no sense and help me navigate what's real and what's not? So then survivors are just

kind of forced on their own to try to navigate all of these different pieces while grieving and trying to come to terms with what's real. After living in a whole world of being told all of these lies that you took in and that you thought were reality, and now you're having to question everything and try to find what's actually real. It's so interesting to try to come to terms with all of it.

kind of forced on their own to try to navigate all of these different pieces while grieving and trying to come to terms with what's real. After living in a whole world of being told all of these lies that you took in and that you thought were reality, and now you're having to question everything and try to find what's actually real. It's so interesting to try to come to terms with all of it.