Josh Brolin

I looked around for anyone else on the trail. Nobody. I looked up to the peaks of the Kerrang, how the fog was just caressing the tips of them, and I suddenly felt the cold front of death enter my body. The sheep scooted slightly farther forward and bleated. I grabbed its body and attempted to swing it onto my shoulders. I couldn't. It was too heavy.

I wanted to be that parent who could lift cars to save their child. But no matter how hard I tried to hoist it, it failed. I look back to my kids who looked sad and anxious, but stoic. They had in them that ranch kid grit that didn't allow for an instant reaction. They knew it was going to get worse and to react now would be premature. Turn your heads. They did.

I wanted to be that parent who could lift cars to save their child. But no matter how hard I tried to hoist it, it failed. I look back to my kids who looked sad and anxious, but stoic. They had in them that ranch kid grit that didn't allow for an instant reaction. They knew it was going to get worse and to react now would be premature. Turn your heads. They did.

I wanted to be that parent who could lift cars to save their child. But no matter how hard I tried to hoist it, it failed. I look back to my kids who looked sad and anxious, but stoic. They had in them that ranch kid grit that didn't allow for an instant reaction. They knew it was going to get worse and to react now would be premature. Turn your heads. They did.

I could break its neck, I thought to myself. One startling snap, and it would be out of its misery and pain. What if I weighed it? Would it be better? Where is everyone? I avoided it as long as I could. The sun was getting lower in the sky and all I knew was that I was gonna have to kill this innocent animal.

I could break its neck, I thought to myself. One startling snap, and it would be out of its misery and pain. What if I weighed it? Would it be better? Where is everyone? I avoided it as long as I could. The sun was getting lower in the sky and all I knew was that I was gonna have to kill this innocent animal.

I could break its neck, I thought to myself. One startling snap, and it would be out of its misery and pain. What if I weighed it? Would it be better? Where is everyone? I avoided it as long as I could. The sun was getting lower in the sky and all I knew was that I was gonna have to kill this innocent animal.

I grabbed its muzzle with my left hand and then brought my right hand over the left side of its head, leveraging my left. I'm gonna pull as hard and as fast as I can and it'll go out like a light. One, two, turn your heads, cover your ears. They did. One, two, three. I pulled as every organ in my body fell into this hell of my own making. The screaming, the sheep kept screaming.

I grabbed its muzzle with my left hand and then brought my right hand over the left side of its head, leveraging my left. I'm gonna pull as hard and as fast as I can and it'll go out like a light. One, two, turn your heads, cover your ears. They did. One, two, three. I pulled as every organ in my body fell into this hell of my own making. The screaming, the sheep kept screaming.

I grabbed its muzzle with my left hand and then brought my right hand over the left side of its head, leveraging my left. I'm gonna pull as hard and as fast as I can and it'll go out like a light. One, two, turn your heads, cover your ears. They did. One, two, three. I pulled as every organ in my body fell into this hell of my own making. The screaming, the sheep kept screaming.

Its back legs were splayed out and it just screamed and screamed as it kept reaching forward away from me. It knew, it knew I was here to murder it. There was no sign of physical trauma, none. Can we look? My son yelled over his shoulder. Not yet. I didn't know what to do. My kids were watching me. This was a seminal moment. There was no pride in trying to kill the sheep.

Its back legs were splayed out and it just screamed and screamed as it kept reaching forward away from me. It knew, it knew I was here to murder it. There was no sign of physical trauma, none. Can we look? My son yelled over his shoulder. Not yet. I didn't know what to do. My kids were watching me. This was a seminal moment. There was no pride in trying to kill the sheep.

Its back legs were splayed out and it just screamed and screamed as it kept reaching forward away from me. It knew, it knew I was here to murder it. There was no sign of physical trauma, none. Can we look? My son yelled over his shoulder. Not yet. I didn't know what to do. My kids were watching me. This was a seminal moment. There was no pride in trying to kill the sheep.

There was nothing but shame and inadequacy. I didn't know what I was doing. I should know. I was 31 years old. I grew up on a ranch. I grew up around wild animals. I had to assist in the deaths of animals all the time in our house. Cancer, age, trauma. I wrapped my hand around the nape of its neck. I told it I was sorry. I was sorry. I didn't know what to do.

There was nothing but shame and inadequacy. I didn't know what I was doing. I should know. I was 31 years old. I grew up on a ranch. I grew up around wild animals. I had to assist in the deaths of animals all the time in our house. Cancer, age, trauma. I wrapped my hand around the nape of its neck. I told it I was sorry. I was sorry. I didn't know what to do.

There was nothing but shame and inadequacy. I didn't know what I was doing. I should know. I was 31 years old. I grew up on a ranch. I grew up around wild animals. I had to assist in the deaths of animals all the time in our house. Cancer, age, trauma. I wrapped my hand around the nape of its neck. I told it I was sorry. I was sorry. I didn't know what to do.

I had killed wounded animals before, a stork on a beach with a broken neck, birds flying into windows who could never fly away again. I put my dog down when he was riddled with cancer. I should know how to do this. We were 50 feet from the edge of the cliff. I could throw it off, but what if it survived? I don't know what's down there. What if there's hay or a soft bog?

I had killed wounded animals before, a stork on a beach with a broken neck, birds flying into windows who could never fly away again. I put my dog down when he was riddled with cancer. I should know how to do this. We were 50 feet from the edge of the cliff. I could throw it off, but what if it survived? I don't know what's down there. What if there's hay or a soft bog?

I had killed wounded animals before, a stork on a beach with a broken neck, birds flying into windows who could never fly away again. I put my dog down when he was riddled with cancer. I should know how to do this. We were 50 feet from the edge of the cliff. I could throw it off, but what if it survived? I don't know what's down there. What if there's hay or a soft bog?

I looked up and the other sheep were watching me from afar. My daughter was crying by now. It was a soft cry, a silent cry, just tears. My son put his arm around her, ranch kids consoling each other through each of nature's traumas. But this was because of me. Do they think if I kill this sheep that I would kill them? Not now, but at any point in their lives?