JR Ridinger

So often in my life, I've met people who say, well, I became a doctor because that's what my dad expected. And you often meet people, and I'm sure you have too, that become somebody that they never meant to be. And if I hadn't came home and told my dad I was leaving and I was going to do this thing called the internet, I would have been somebody I wasn't supposed to be.

He's the one that's already seen it.

I think what happened was, is that that little bit of belief, I was so used to, like many people, hearing your dad say, you're not capable. You can't do it. Why don't you just do, you know, be a flight attendant? Not that that's not an important job. It just wasn't the job I wanted. Mm-hmm. You know, most often we don't believe in ourselves.

And I think what happens is, is that a lot of that comes from home. And, you know, we raise our kids differently. We've raised our kids to believe that anything's possible, but not everybody's had that benefit. I didn't. And so for to have this man come out of nowhere and say that I was possible, it was like, is he crazy or am I? And I started to believe him just enough to try again.

And the more I tried, even if I was terrible until I got to be great.

And I did a lot better.

I got past Lauren Ashley. I didn't fall to the ground. I was shaking the whole time, but I did it again. And guess what? I did it probably for three or four years before I felt like I was really great. Wow. But that's the thing.

It's like people don't believe in themselves enough to go for it, to try it, because we get so beat down by society and people and we worry about what the bandwagon thinks rather than the one person who's looking in the mirror says, I can do it.

You know, it's a game changer. That belief level changed my life.

And I am, you know, I used to think when JR passed away, I used to get so many thousands of letters from people say, oh, JR changed the way I thought. And, you know, or I joined your company. And even though I never stayed with it, he made an impact on my future and my life. And I realized at that time, he also made an impact on mine.

And I never stopped to think about it because as we're living, we take advantage of everything else around us. The ones that we love and the ones that love us. And we're like, oh, of course my wife's amazing. Of course my husband's amazing. Instead of saying, thank you for changing my life.

Thank you, Gary.

And by the way- He was a showman too. I mean, he was crazy.

Powered by people. It's the only thing I know that can change the world is people. And I think you understand that, like JR understood it. And I think it's so important. I think we can't do it on our own. No, we definitely can't. We just can't. But we can do whatever we can to make a difference. And I think that is what you and what JR have dedicated their lives to.

And I think we need more of that. It's a problem.

Yeah, well, we had our big date was Wendy's back then. You know, Wendy's was our big date on Wednesdays.

And the Wendy's Super Bar, that was our big date. And, you know, he wrote me. It's true. It was like $4.99. It was all-you-can-eat tacos at Wendy's, okay? It's true. Some people definitely will remember that. I'm definitely dating myself. And I think, you know, when I think about J.R.

's background of biology, you know, having a master's in biology was a game changer for us because he wanted, he had a problem swallowing pills.

himself and he said we need a formulation that people can take that they can get into their bloodstream right away and so isotonix was born of course and it was a game changer for us in its second year of our company and it really was and it's still our number one product today 32 years later which is really says a lot for what it is but uh we launched that in in year two and it was a kind of a it it

It got better and better. But J.R. was never about the money. In fact, he always acted. He lived even his last day like he didn't have any. The funny thing is we had beautiful homes, beautiful cars, a beautiful boat. But J.R. lived like a very normal guy. If you told him he had money, he would never believe it because he just didn't live his life that way in his mind.

And his mind was he had just the idea to help people. The way he wanted to earn money was psychically to help other people.

And that's how you do it. And so I think that's why you and he hit it off so well, because I don't know two humans who have helped more people than the two of you. You especially, I'm in this ultimate penthouse and you're changing lives every day. Thank you. I feel like I'm living a better life being here. Like I went to the ultimate human penthouse. I walked in, the air felt different here.

How is that possible? Like how you understand what you're doing, right? Like I know you're interviewing me, but I just want to tell you, I walked in here. The air's different in the ultimate human's penthouse. You feel different. The water's different. I'm taking this home. Those are props, but you can take it.

I think you have changed a lot of the game for us too over the last 10 years of us being friends because... You know, I think when you care enough about what we do put in our body, like Jerry used to say, I don't know everything. You don't know everything about products, but we can find the right people who help us get there.

And I think that's key. And that's what you help do for so many of us.

That and negative people.

And all of them affect our health.

All of them. It's not just what we intake. It's also what we surround ourselves with. And I think that's one of the things that I think Jay and I live by, as you know, that, you know, we kept a very tight circle.

You had him in the best health of his life. If it wasn't for the fact.

No, no. You had his blood perfect. If it wasn't for the fact, and this is something I've never talked about publicly, is, you know, J.R. made the decision on his own to have that second booster that you advised him against doing.

And he was like, well, Lauren, I'm going to do it because you've had COVID four times and I haven't, and I have slept with you and I didn't get it. And he thought that was it. What he didn't realize is that you had made his immune system so strong that he didn't need it.

Four weeks after he took that second booster, he died of a pulmonary embolism in his lungs, as you know. And that one moment of listening to what, you know, everybody was saying, they tested a vaccine booster for a few months. And the next thing I know he's gone.

And that's something that people aren't talking about. It's changed my life completely. It's, you know, as you know, every day on the recovery through grief of trying to get through it and it's hard.

Oh, the next day I called you.

That was the first thing you did. I mean, I remember you calling me saying, I can't take away the pain. Yeah. I can't. I'm not going to. And unlike what most of the community does is that they, we suppress so many people with drugs to make them feel better, not feel, you know, all of the stuff that's happening out there that you and I both are against. Right.

The rest of the medical community, most of them put a stamp on, take this pill, you'll feel better. You said, I can't do that for you, but what I can do is make you the healthiest I can do while you're going through this. And that's what you did. 50 pounds later, off, blood healthy.

I mean, my cholesterol, your team told me as an 18-year-old. It's perfect. It's crazy.

My sugars are normal. I'm a girl whose mom died at 42, massive heart attack. My dad died of complications of diabetes, type 1. I should have everything wrong with me. I should be the one gone, not JR, because his family lived till 99 and 98. His grandmother lived till 104. You had his life extended. And one wrong decision took his life from me.

And, you know, you came in and said, I'm not going to let it happen to you.

And that was like two weeks into me losing JR.

You came to Connecticut. You took care of me. And here I am just celebrated, unfortunately, two years, which I don't say celebrated, but JR's two-year anniversary of his death. And I'm the healthiest I've ever been because of you, thank God. Still going through the grief, still struggling through that, but mentally getting stronger all the time.

I am so happy to be here with you. You know how much I love you and how much Dara loved you. And you are the ultimate human. The real truth of the matter is like, I know that people love you and they see you, but I know you on such a deeper level and your whole life is about helping other people live their best lives. Oh my gosh, thank you so much.

Oh, you blew everybody's mind that day when you talked about your own pain. And I think it was something nobody had ever heard before, that story. But it inspired me to turn my own pain into the purpose. And, you know, I think about... You know, my whole life, I never had anybody talk to me and say, this is what grief is going to feel like.

Nobody ever said to me, you'll lose people one day and the pain will be so great that it'll be hard to keep moving.

It has been a journey. You know, I've lost my mom. I lost my dad. I know grief. I'm familiar with it. I was very close to my parents. I've never felt the pain I feel losing a guy I knew longer than my own family. It's been a challenge, but I finally decided that I can take this pain, as you say, and turn it into a purpose. You know, I went to so many counselors after Jared died.

And by the end of four weeks, I had fired them. And the reason I fired them is they were good counselors. I wasn't good. I wasn't good. If I were honest, I wasn't right in the head. But as soon as somebody says, well, you know, you could date again. I was like, you're fired. You know, you're fired. And I wasn't ready at the time and I'm still not ready. But here's the funny thing.

Serena Williams had sent me a message one morning. She did every day after Jared passed away. And in that message was a little ad. And I clicked on the ad and it was a group counseling class here in Miami. And she said, I think you should go. It may change your life to hear what other people are going through and other wives who have lost their husbands.

And when you're going through grief, Gary, you know, I don't know how familiar you are with it, but when you go through it, you think you're the worst. Your pain is the worst. Okay. And nobody knows what it's like to feel like you feel. So I was like, well, I didn't just lose my husband. I lost my best friend. I lost my coach. I lost my mentor. I lost my partner.

The guy who coached me, the guy who trained me, everything. I've never lived alone. So mine's got to feel worse than theirs, but I went. And when I got there, I sat in a room with 10 other women and all of them went around the room. Some loved their husband more than others. You can expect that. Others loved them just as much as I did. Most of them didn't have them as a husband.

I mean, they had a husband, but not a coach, a mentor, whatever. But they lost something I didn't. And that was their lifestyle, their life, their way to put their kids through school. A home. They couldn't afford to keep the home over their head. They couldn't afford to pay their light bills, you know, the tuition. And it was an eye-opener for me.

And I realized that, you know, even though we started with nothing, Jared didn't leave us with nothing. And then I would turn that pain and spend the rest of my life helping other people achieve that type of financial freedom where they wouldn't have to worry again.

That is such a beautiful, come on audience, right? That's such a beautiful, that is so beautiful.

I love to hear you say that.

I hear you and I'm listening to you like he's saying it to me. And I feel that. And it took me a moment to feel that. It did. I think when you're going through grief, you don't know how you're supposed to feel or react. And, you know, I think it also depends on who you ask. You ask your children, your grandchildren. They're like, if you ever date again, you're dead.

No, we have a real live... This is your first real live audience.

You know, have you ever seen anybody do that? But what you realize is that you do things in your own time. And you take a lot of grace for yourself. And there's a new Lauren that's emerged from this. No question. And I'm doing the best I can. And this is our first big week again that we've had volume in the company like we had when J.R. was still here.

Which I'm really happy about. Because J.R. used to say to me, don't ever count dollars, Lauren. Just keep working hard. And I would do that and he'd say, your work will never pay off till years later. I never understood that till now. Now two years in, it's the first week that we've had that's been ultra successful.

They love you so much.

And I'm like, okay, this is what he was talking about, how it took two years of hard work. You're not, this is the best of me now.

Yes. Oh yeah, captain's gone. Our general's gone. Our sergeant's gone. And how is this girl going to fill his shoes? You know how big those shoes are.

And the funny thing is I would go back and I would listen to messages he would leave me. Like, you know that you can do whatever I do, right? Better. And then all my friends and my family would come to me and say, you know, every time we'd ask Darrell, what should we do about a problem? He said, well, what did Lauren say?

And they love us. Right? I love them. But I just... I can't thank you enough for having me here because I consider this an honor for somebody who's worked with you and you've taken care of, you treated Jare and I for many years. You are a game changing human. One of the few people I know who spend their life dedicated to making lives better. Wow.

And then I started to realize he cared about what I thought.

And that's why, of course, I wrote the book, Scrambled or Sunny Side Up, because every day, you know, I couldn't figure out what to name the book. At first I was going to do it like, what do you do with the dash?

And he lived his life like that. Let's just live our life in the dash, whatever it takes. If we do a lot to help people, we've made a difference. And that was his big motto. Like you cannot succeed without helping other people succeed. And he used to say, Lauren, we must succeed so other people can realize their dreams because they won't go for it. They won't believe they're possible.

And so, you know, every day I've been, I was with JR for 36 years. So every day we would wake up and he'd say, how do you want your eggs? Scrambled or sunny set up? And I'd say, I don't know. What are you in the mood for? Do you want scrambled or sunny set up? It's your stomach. What am I supposed to say? And I'd say, have scrambled today. Next day, scrambled or sunny set up? Sunny set up, baby.

Okay, great. This went on for years. So after you're married for 36 years, one day you wake up and you're like, I don't know, Jesus, what do you want to move for? Do you want to scrub water on your stomach? You're driving me crazy. I'm not having eggs. And I would get frustrated. And then I would realize...

after he passed away, that the very thing that made me fall in love with him, that advice he wanted from me, how should I have my eggs is the same thing that frustrated me. And you can't let your life get twisted like that. And we do. Like, I used to love that you cared about my opinion. Now you became a pain in the ass by asking me.

I couldn't just take a second and say, hey, babe, have scrambled. And so I named the book Scrambled or Sunny Side Up because after life, you lose the love of your life. Life gets scrambled, but you can turn it sunny side up again.

It's not.

I didn't know that either. The funny thing is there's like, I'm like, all I was focused on was because it releases, you know, Valentine's week of 2025, I mean, 2024, 2025, we're in 2024. So that's how I'm lost, 2025. And I didn't know that there was these other lists besides New York bestsellers, Amazon, Barnes and Nobles. And we hit them all that same day. And I was just- Pre-orders, right?

And so, of course, our company is a great platform for that type of stuff because, you know, everybody wanted to buy the book. And we sold so many books outside the community, which is so amazing. But it's a beautiful story of of lessons that I've learned that I didn't know while I was while J.R. was here.

And so it opens up with, you know, he wrote me 5,000 love letters in 36 years.

And hand wrote long ones. And I was the one that was like, thank you, baby. I love you. You know, I didn't leave the long love letter. I wasn't good at the long love letters. And I told him all the time how much I loved him. But the book opens with a love letter from me that I should have given to him. And it ends with a love letter. I wish I'd left him before he left. So it's a lot of healing.

There's a different Lauren from chapter one to the end.

You can see that transition of that Lauren to the Lauren that you say he's saying, go be your best version of you.

would definitely say grieve heavily for me, but go back to work. Yeah. He would definitely say, right, Sage? He would definitely say grieve heavily for me.

He would be like, cry your ass off and then go back to work. And then go back to work. I mean, and it's funny because you go through these crazy phases. Like when Jared first died, the company took a huge tumble at first.

Well, here's the thing in a weird way. I was like, let it happen. I wanted people to remember that we had one leader. And it was my leader is their leader. And that's how we became who we were. But then I was like, come on, Lauren, you got to get in there.

And I decided to do exactly what you did with your own pain, with the community of why you went off on your own and, you know, didn't stay working for the government going in the court, you know, courtroom and, you know, dying, diagnosing people after they're gone.

Right. That's because that's what you did.

Yeah. Mortality. And so for me, it was like, how many more people have to go before we get in and do something. And I wanted to do something and I did, and I went right to work. And every day I'm working really hard at doing the best version of me and not trying to fill somebody else's shoes, but still have so much to look up to.

It doesn't matter. All that matters is us.

Not at all.

I kept you out of all of them.

Yeah, and I'll tell you all about it.

And I think you would agree, the number one thing, and Jay and I lived our life with this, is protecting this. You know, protecting our mindset, mentally not letting people in here because this can either be a prison or it can set you free. Right. And so our mindset was so important. And he just used to have one rule.

If I would, you know, early in the early days, Lauren would, you know, I was young, 18 years younger than J.R. And, you know, I would say like, everybody thinks that you should do this with me. He's like, who's everybody? Who cares about everybody? You need to eliminate everybody, Lauren. And you need to focus on me and you. And not involve third-party people in our life.

So to have a good marriage for 36 years, that's what we had to do.

Yeah, no light. And no, you've got to have an agreement. No going to bed mad. A lot of love. Forgiveness for each other. Don't hold a grudge. Grudge makes you old and makes you sick. Creates disease. I don't care what anybody says.

But I think... The mindset of being around the right people and who you let in your world. And they've got to, you know, they can do a million different things. They don't have to be in the same profession as you, doing the same thing that you, but their mission has got to be the same.

That they care about the mind and they only want positive people around them and they believe in you and they lift you up rather than tear you down. You know, we all grow up in an environment of society that has a tendency to make us believe that we're not possible.

When we are.

And so he changed that for us. Our atmosphere changed.

Yeah. And that's true. And I think Most people are able, most people are capable, but they're not willing to. And that's really, you know, I say like, what are you willing to do? Because somebody is like, oh my God, I want to be like you one day and get up there and inspire people. And I said, you can be. The question is, are you willing to do what I do to get here?

26,000?

Yeah, 26,000 in Taipei. But, you know, are you willing to do what I do? See, the first thing I do when I get up is I do the hardest things first. That's what most people avoid.

They want to put it off. They're like, well, I'm going to wait till tomorrow because that's a hard call. I'm going to wait till tomorrow because you know what? That takes a lot of effort and I got to be alone and lock myself up in the room. No, no, no. My room is, and my rule is, is that don't come in my room till I finish the hard stuff first. Wow.

And let me get it done because I know that you're not going to do it. Somebody's got to do it. And if you'll do it, then I won't have to. But if you won't, I'm going to do it. And, you know, we've built leaders like that around us because that's a hard thing to do, as you know. Not everybody will think like you.

You know, how do I get people to do the hard things first when, you know, most of the time they're putting that off? You know, and being a good leader is also being able to make a decision. And Jerry used to say, I don't care if you make the wrong decision. I just want you to make a good decision. Meaning it could be wrong, but I want you to think it through.

And if you believed it was a good decision and you made a mistake and it was wrong on, it will never be wrong to me. Wow. We can recover from that. What we can't recover from is that you take forever to make a decision. That's called procrastination. That's the killer for most people. They put it off. You know, excuses, procrastination, something I'll never do. So I live by my decisions.

I make good quality decisions and I think them through. And I, like you, allow myself time to do that.

You know, I think it through. You gave your morning yourself. I do the very same thing. It's funny that when you told me what you did and I tell you what I did, they're the same thing. Successful people do very similar things. They own their morning.

And those hard things first have been a game changer for me because nothing comes between me and that time unless it's an emergency, unless it's a, God forbid, an emergency.

Yeah. Like, don't bother me before 11. This is what I'm doing. This is critical thinking time. This is the time that Lauren needs to make everything go.

And there's a reason why I think JR used to do the same thing. I never really said to him, like, why don't you want to take calls before 11? It just became second nature for me.

I started to do the same thing. And I do those things so then I can own the rest of my day. So if I wanna go see my grandkids, go play soccer, I can do that. Those are the things that are really important too. And I think that's so important. Your mindset's everything. Your attitude's everything. What you believe is possible will change your life.

I would watch Dara get up on stage, you know, a little platform in front. And he would tell people one day people are going to buy their products online. The people in the room, they'd look at him like he was crazy. He goes, it doesn't matter what they think, Lauren. What matters is what you think. What do you think? Do you think we can do it?

Dan and I failed so many times.

We failed over and over and over again. We just never quit. And I do think that without failing, it's almost impossible to succeed.

I know. And they've got to. That's like every time I see somebody almost, almost, they're so close. I'm like, tie a knot and hold on. Yeah. Don't throw in the towel yet. You're almost there. Whether they're my business, your business, somebody, it doesn't matter if they're a friend. I love them and I want them to make it. And I seem this close. Like, don't quit. You're there. You're almost there.

You're almost there. You know, when the pain starts to happen, you're so close.

And that's when people quit. You're right.

I got to tell you, the ultimate human has got it going. This ultimate human penthouse I want to move into, by the way. I got the next guest room next.

No, no, I bought everything, and I want to move in with Sage, and that's it. I'm done. Sage and Gary, I am with you guys. I love you.

Yes, I get the other bedroom. I love you guys.

First of all, I walked in when Sage and you showed me your bedroom, and I was in a theta state when I walked into the whole space. The air is different here. Everything is different here. And you feel like I gained years here. I'm hydrated.

Thank you.

I feel like I've actually gotten some years back and that matters. That's how much I know you care about people.

That's why I'm here. I love you. You know, I haven't talked about anything with JR at all publicly, as you know, like this. Not talking about the grief, how it happened, the vaccine, the booster. This is the first time, you know, because people don't want to hear it.

Okay, well, I'm going to tell you what happened to me.

Yeah, of course. It's a fact.

That's it. That's it right there. And you said something to me earlier today, which is we've got to build this invisible fence around what gets in here.

And that's so critical. And I think we overlook it. Like we spend more money on health and anti-aging, but we buy products, but forget to take care of us.

And you remind us of that all the time. And you're so right.

Father Time's not stealing, but you're robbing yourself. And I think you're right. And I think. As humans, we overlook it. I love that you have this pattern that you do, right? And I have one very similar, as I said. The other thing I do is if I know I'm going to be short on sleep, I'll steal a nap.

Religiously. Oh, yeah. Like those 20 minutes to me are everything.

I'm one, 20 minutes a day, call the shots. It's a nice little reset. That's it. It's like I got to reset this brain because I owe it to myself to do it.

Well, you made him think. even bigger if that's possible. Because I remember he was doing research that day and you started talking about the type of vitamin B and how it needed to be. It was a game changer.

And when you explained yours to me today, now I've got a new, like that's a new thing I'm going to focus on is the pattern at night because I have it in the morning.

But at night I got to get better reminding myself, turn it off.

Just shut it all down.

Sorry, Sage. You're the one. Say goodnight.

People know where the door is.

It really is about taking care of yourself. It's like when I think about, I didn't expect to be, to get this healthy over this last year and a half, but it was like, Lauren, I'm going to do this with you while you're going through what you're going through. Just do it. Here are the things I need you to do. And we did it.

And I think that makes, mentally, that's helped me get really strong again, too. And I think there's a connection, right?

It's a lot has changed. I mean, I've changed. And I think, you know, the same rule that built us people, you know, Jerry used to say, Lauren, don't worry about all the AI and the technology. We'll do that anyway. We have to do that anyway, but let's not lose sight of why we're here. It's because of people.

And we're going to always be connected to people. And, you know, it's funny. Somebody played a little message. I won't say who because he's probably not supposed to. I'm probably not supposed to say it. But somebody played a beautiful message in a meeting that they have with Warren Buffett recently to me. And the message was very much like what J.R. would say to me.

It said, don't worry about all the technology that's out there. It was very recent. Don't worry about all the technology. Worry about people. As long as you, whoever takes care of their customer the best, whoever takes care of their people the best, wins ultimately. And so for me, that's my number one goal.

You know, how to make returns easier, how to make purchasing faster, how to do things for people, get what people want, you know, have the ultimate human new store somehow.

He was like, I want this changed. And he he's never really shut everything down from like listening to one person. He was like, that's it. You know, he just felt so connected to you and and saw that your purpose was so much bigger than any one thing.

You know, I want to do things that people want. I want to hear what they want. And I want to activate.

And for me, that's the future for us. And I want to do it better than anybody. Cause you know, you can, you can, there's, you know, Amazon's the biggest seller in the world, right? Everybody's buying. You can't beat that. But, What you can do is be really great at taking care of your people, your customers, making sure it's easy for them. Make sure you deliver faster.

Make sure the returns are easier. Make sure you have a connection. Make sure you know what they want. Make sure they can actually talk to a person. And I think we've gotten really good at that over the last two years, especially. You know, Jerry used to say all of our work will catch up with us one day, and it has.

And I think I'm investing a lot of time and money into making that better and being there with the people. I think that makes a big difference. You know, I did 40 cities this year in literally 64 days or something.

It was crazy.

Yes. And I'm leaving, you know, Monday for Southeast Asia and doing a tour out there. And I think... I wouldn't have been able to do it unless this were right. And unless I was on, you know, didn't know where I was going and I do.

And I think, you know, even in the fog of grief, my mind is clear enough to say, I know what I need to do. I still got to do the hardest things first.

I still need to believe that I'm possible. I still need to believe that our best days are still ahead. When at first somebody told me that I was like, that's impossible. My best days are behind me.

But there are still the best days of Lauren still ahead. And it took me a while to figure that out and accept that and be okay with that and embrace that. That doesn't mean I don't miss Jer every moment of my day, don't wish he wasn't with me. But in order to succeed... I have to show people it's possible and I'm rebuilding me again.

And I think that when you're doing that with people and you're very vulnerable and very transparent about the process of where I've been and where I'm going and how painful it's been and that we can recover if we're transparent, life can change for you in a positive way. And I'm learning that now.

Exactly. People get so comfortable being uncomfortable. It's like, are you kidding me? Do you not realize that in order to get uncomfortable, you've got to step one foot out of the box that you're in. That's all you have to do. They think it's monumental. So they don't want to do it rather than like, like sitting in front of the TV is comfortable and doing nothing and not changing.

But what they don't realize is they're actually uncomfortable. They're living a life of discomfort. They're not able to make ends meet. They're struggling to pay the bills. They're not happy. They don't work on their marriage at home. Jared and I had a really happy life because we constantly worked at being good partners. We had a good marriage. We had good communication.

Jared used to say, what do we do every six months? We analyzed our marriage.

What do you like about me and what don't you like about me? So I can fix that. Because I love you enough to want to make sure that I make a tweak.

We've got a list over there. We're going to look at her. Look at that face.

I said to her earlier.

I told her earlier she deserved the big trophy, and you said, here I am. And so, you know, the funny thing is, is that people don't realize that when you're at home, being in a happy environment is really important.

And I know your story. And when you walk in this house, it's a happy home.

And that's the difference. That can change your health, too.

no doubt that changes your mindset yes and so some days i just ask for lauren time right you know without everybody coming over i just say you know guys i gotta have some me time i'm figuring me out you know some days i have good days i have bad days but one thing for sure is like i'm making sure who i put in my circle and of course you and sage are in my circle

You can come on our place at any time or I can go to your place at any time. You absolutely want to be at that table.

And everybody at that table wants to lift you up and elevate you. Say anything you're doing is possible. You can be or do anything you want to do. Most people don't understand that if you've been cut out of my life, you gave me the scissors.

You gave me the scissors. You're the one. You're the one who cut you out of my life because I just have a certain way I'm going to live. And I only want to live with people who believe in what I'm doing and where I'm going. You don't have to do what I'm doing, but I need you to be a cheerleader of what I'm doing. I need you to support what I'm doing.

I need you to believe in me so I can believe in myself also. I don't want to have anybody around me say, don't try that.

Don't go for that. Oh, my God, Gary, don't you know? You cannot be transparent and honest without expecting controversy.

People are so afraid to say their truth today. People are so afraid to have an honest conversation. They're like, oh, my God, here she goes.

She's blackballed. Don't say who you're voting for. You can't even have a conversation about politics anymore. It's ridiculous.

I just want to... What happened to have good conversations?

Yeah, I just want to have a good conversation.

And so I think, you know, we have done a very good job of keeping a circle where, you know what, it's okay to agree to disagree.

It's okay to say, you know what, I don't agree with you, Lauren. I have a different opinion. And I say, you know what, I never thought about that opinion. Right. And keeping an open mind because that's what real people who care about this will do. Yeah. And I do think that that is the key to my health and my happiness is who I surround myself with because it helps my mindset.

It's so true.

And I feel like people just, I'm over the, I don't want to be around anyone who prejudged. I just don't want anybody who around me who wants to prejudge anyone, a situation. I don't. I want to keep an open mind.

I want, I don't know what the future, people say, well, what's the future of the company? I'm like, the future of the company is amazing. I see us getting bigger and better all the time. What is the future of Lauren? I'm not, I don't know yet. I'm still figuring her out. It's like I'm still getting to know this new me.

I know that I'm going to have great days ahead of me, and I'm now embracing that. Do I miss the Lauren with Jare? Of course. I miss those days all of my life.

But I had that life, and that doesn't mean I lose it. And I do think that grief is just an extension of love. In many ways. And that it's by how much you loved is how much grief you will suffer. And I do think that doing the hard things first and waking up in the morning and saying, I'm able to do this. I get to see my kids today. I get to pick up my kids from school.

I get to show up for work and be a great leader. Instead of saying, I have to do this. I have to do that. I have to go to the gym. I get to go to the gym. You know, when we start to act grateful for having this life that we can have around us and realize that you are actually uncomfortable because you haven't left that zone of discomfort for so long. You don't know how to get out. Right.

We get so stuck. behind the big boob tube. You're dating yourself with that term too.

I know the boob tube. It's true, but we get so stuck and we don't know our way out. And yet all we have to do is take one step outside the box in order for our life to change.

And make a commitment. I'm a big believer in writing down my goals. I do it all the time.

I read them. And You know, people do it all the time at New Year's Eve, and I'm always like, I'm not doing that because I do it all year long.

And here's what happens with your New Year's Eve resolutions for most people, and I know you agree with this, is that the only commitment they keep is breaking their commitment to themselves.

And by January 25th.

When you said to me, I'll never forget it. When you first saw me for the first time and I was on the boat and you were like, I was like, I'm going to start that diet on Monday. You're like, what's wrong with today?

And the truth of the matter is, how many times do we hear people say, I'm going to start next week?

As if Monday starting is going to cause you to lose more weight than starting today.

But we do it all the time when we see people do it. I just don't want to do that. You don't want to do that. And I think that's the key for people to succeed is to do exactly what you said right now.

I think you're just scratching the scratch of the surface. I don't even think you've gotten, you don't even know Gary Brekka yet. Like, as well as I know you, I don't know Gary Brekka yet. You don't know Gary. You're just, as JR used to say, Gary's just scratching the scratch on the surface. And you have so much more to do. What you have given to me and my family is life and more years.

I think he wrote like 10 emails to everybody this long with you on it. I was like the most hated guy in the company for a few days. He was so inspired and so moved and just felt like I've never met anybody like Gary before.

And that's a gift that you can't pay somebody back for. You know, Jerry used to say, Lauren, it's not about the money. It's about the people will help along the way. Nothing could ring truer for you.

You know, I have, we have all the right friends, the Beckhams, everybody, right? They're all the grunt men's. Yeah. We all have the same circle of friends and we all feel the same way.

You know, we, we love you and how much you put into people. You really put into people like JR did. And that's what our business is about. You know, that's what shop and market America become about the people.

For you and I, I think we're just starting. I think there's so many big things.

It's inspiring for me because I think, like I said, all the technology in the world will never be a Gary Brekka.

Will never be a J.R. Reitinger. And I think that's what the world needs more of.

gosh, I think at this point in my life, the ultimate human means number one, happiness. I think happiness is so important. Health and a clear mind and owning my mind again. And I think that's what, you know, the ultimate human is for me. Cause I, I want to own this again and it gets cloudy during grief. And so for me,

I always understood the value of how important it is to keep our mind sharp, but it's health, happiness, and owning this again, the clear mind. I think it can change the world, you know, if we're clear.

I love you, and this has been such an honor for me, and being in this ultimate human penthouse is so inspiring that I do not want to go. I'm going home to get my bag. But what did our audience think today? What did you guys think? Yay!

This live audience podcast is, you never had this before.

I mean, I love you, Tom Brady. I love you, The Rock, and all the guys you interviewed on here. But this one is the first live audience.

I love you guys.

Do you believe what I tell you when I tell you we can change the world, you and I? Because that's all that matters to me.

It's funny. It's funny. It's a game-changing story, actually, because, you know, I was 18. My dad was like, you've got to go get a job. You're going to be a flight attendant for Eastern Airlines.

By the way, don't worry about it, guys.

They went out of business when I started. But mom worked for Eastern Airlines. Well, you get it. So my dad was like, this is what you're going to do with your life. And I was like, I don't want to do that. I'm afraid to fly. Don't make me do this, Dad. And he was like, you've got to be something. I was like, I just met this incredible boyfriend of mine.

And he says, we're going to change the world. And we're going to start something called the World Wide Web. And it's the internet. And, you know, internet explorer back then. And he was like, that's, you know, a pipe dream. You can't do that. You're going to go get a job. And so I remember I got... to the interview place and there was like 300 people online.

And back then you had to have like legs, red lipstick on, you know, the long hair. I was fitting the bill well for that position, which it would be an embarrassing thing today as a very me too type of treatment for women. And when I got up to the front of the line, I gave him all the wrong answers. They were like, why do you wanna be an Eastern Airlines flight attendant?

Welcome to the friendly skies. I was like, I don't wanna fly with Eastern. I don't even like Eastern Airlines. I would say anything I could not to get the job. Sure enough, I got the job. Crazy enough, I got a letter four weeks later. You've been hired. You got to go to Atlanta. You got to go through training. And here's this guy I just met six months before who I'd fallen in love with already.

He was telling me about one day people are going to buy everything they want from their water bottles to their vitamins, to their shoes, to their clothes online. Wow. And people thought we were crazy. And so, including my father. That was crazy. And it was crazy. That's, you know, 1989, 1990. And he said, I went to the training and I told my dad, I don't want to do this.

And I told my mom, you got to help me get out of this. And Jer called me. And he, you know, just my boyfriend at the time, he said, if you don't come home and tell your dad that you don't want to be an Eastern Airline flight attendant, you're going to become a version of yourself that you never meant to be. Wow. That was a big moment in my life.

And I didn't understand it then until after I lost air.

The only thing I know that can change the world is people.

So often in my life, I've met people who say, well, I became a doctor because that's what my dad expected. Or I became a teacher because that's what my mom expected. Or I just became a homemaker because that's what my husband expected. And you often meet people, and I'm sure you have too, that become somebody that they never meant to be.

And if I had to came home and fired Eastern Airlines and told my dad I was leaving and I was gonna do this thing called the internet, I would have been somebody I wasn't supposed to be.

We didn't have any money.

That didn't really exist at that time. Didn't even exist. I mean, it was there, but it was mostly data driven at the time. You know, you could find some data on people, not everything we can find out about you or me today.

I'll tell you all about it. The number one thing, and Jer and I lived our life with this, is...

But it was information mostly. You know, the thought of somebody going to you and saying, I want to sell your product and I want to put it online seemed preposterous at the time.

And I think that, you know, even back when I think about the early meetings of our company of Shop and Market America in 92, J.R. and I would go to these, you know, not the meetings that you, not the meetings you go to with me now that you've seen that we do with thousands of people.

No, no, they love you.

But back in the day, it was, you know, seven, eight, nine people.

And we would drive all over the country after I quit Eastern Airlines. And, you know, I would watch Derek get up on stage and he would in front of seven, eight people, you know, a little platform in front. And he would tell people, one day people are going to buy their products online. They're going to buy their shoes, their socks, everything.

And at 18 years old at the time, I would watch the people in the room and they didn't respond well. You know, they'd look at him like he was crazy. And after the meeting, he'd be like, that was a great meeting, wasn't it? You know his personality. That was fantastic. Wow, we killed him. We crushed him. We crushed it. And I was like, I'm not sure.

They didn't seem to think that when I saw their faces. He goes, it doesn't matter what they think, Lauren. What matters is what you think. What do you think? Wow. Do you think we can do it? Do you believe what I tell you when I tell you we can change the world, you and I? We can get people to buy things online. Do you believe? Because that's all that matters to me.

Because if nobody else believes but you and I and we put blinders on, we can make this happen. We didn't have any money. He's how old at the time? He's in his early 20s. He was 36. I was 18. That's pretty crazy. Everybody thought we were crazy. They're like, why are you dating this guy? I don't have any money. He's older. He doesn't have anything to offer you.

You can have a future in journalism, which is where I thought I was going. And I was just mad for him. He was magical. Everything he said made perfect sense. It didn't matter if he didn't have money to take me on a date. That didn't matter. I just wanted to be around him. That personality, that charismatic man who meant so much to me and cared about people like you do, actually.

And I was learning. I was a child. I was 18. So when he said that to me, do you believe in it? I was like, yeah, he goes, improve it. You do the meeting tomorrow. Show me. I thought, how do I break up with this guy before we get to the next meeting? All I kept thinking about was like, exactly, the whole way we were driving from Dallas to San Antonio, I'll never forget.

And I was like, how am I going to break up with him? On the way, I was too afraid to speak. I'd never spoken. That's everybody's biggest fear.

Oh, yeah, and dying.

It's like some people may choose dying over public speaking. Right. They're that scared. And I was like, don't make me do this. I'm not really good at it. I've never spoken before. He said, you are the greatest female speaker I've ever heard. Wow. I was like, how is that possible? How's this guy? I'm not going to do well. I can tell you right now. He's like, you are incredible.

You just don't know it yet. One of the finest female speakers I've ever listened to. I got to San Antonio shaking, shivering, got up there in front of like 10 people. I said, hi, my name is Lauren Ashley at the time. Yeah. I fainted in front of everybody. Yeah.

flat out knocked out on the ground woke up and there's people fanning me you know all those 10 people in jr looked at me said get up they turned the ac off in here anyone would have fainted you were incredible i said i didn't say anything i just said i'm lauren ashley And he goes, and you said it great. And tomorrow you'll be even better when we get to Houston. Wow.

He didn't get in the car and say, you know what? Stick to driving. You're right. He didn't get in the car and say, you know what? I still need somebody to help get us there. I'll do the meeting. He said, you're going to do it again. And that type of belief changed my life.