JT

I'm doing okay. It's a little bit warmer here today, finally, so it's nice to have a break from the cold. Excellent, man. What's going on, brother? Um, okay. So my question long, like windy, twisty question. So I'm just going to jump into it. Um, how much of my past and my struggles do I need to like tell my daughter later in life? Or does that like cause problems for her growing up?

So my daughter and I are kind of butting heads. She's three. How old are you?

Which is what I've heard, and we've come up with the phrase, she's a three-nager, and it's wonderful.

Yeah. And I'm, I'm learning through that, especially with like what I've been working through the past couple of years. Um, so if you're good with it, I'll just let it rip, dude. Let it rip. Tiny story. Okay. Um, struggling with addiction, um, came to a head two years ago, well, two and a half years ago with an affair. Um, and yours or hers in January? Mine.

I told my wife two years ago in January and we've been on the recovery journey. She's been through a lot of intensive counseling. So have I like, and we separated for two months in 2023, then separated for six months last year because we were just bandaid fixing and not actually fixing the root issues. Um, we got back together summer of last year and, um,

realizing like my daughters and my relationship is like, it's okay. It's good. But like, there are times where it's like, I'm getting frustrated with her. She wants mom more than me. She wants like, she won't listen to anything I say, even if I'm saying it calmly and kindly, she won't listen to me until my wife says, Hey, what did dad say? And listen to dad. And then she'll listen.

Um, so I don't know if like totally development. Okay. There's nothing wrong with your daughter. Okay. So that's not like, I haven't really screwed her up with the separation.

Yeah, very. Um, yeah, there's been other stressors that I've been like really letting affect me. And my wife has noticed like, Hey, you're really stressed about work and it's affecting our home. So like it was very clear work is just really stressful. Um, getting pulled 30 different directions to do everyone's job and covering incompetency from lack of effort from where I work.

Um, and I work really hard and, I have a different buy-in because if I don't work, my family doesn't eat. Um, and I've worked really hard to develop that work ethic over the last two years. And even my wife said, Hey, you're not allowed to bring work home because like of everything that we've been through, we've had very long conversations. We've had boundary talks.

We've had rules put in place to keep us both safe. And there are times when the tension of work and just not like really high emotions, uh,

Yeah, definitely fallen into, that's where I used to be. Like, that was my biggest, like. Bro, that's you right now.

Yeah, actually I've worked really hard to develop really good, close friendships the past couple of years.

A hundred percent.

Not lately. We just moved, but definitely need to get back into that. Okay.

It was pornography.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, that's the house I grew up in, um, and worked really hard with my counselor to kind of address some of that. Um, but no, it was like, I was homeschooled for all 12 years. And so it's like more of a student teacher relationship than a parent relationship. Yeah.

Yep.

Yeah. Can I just like, I don't know if you've ever come across this, but this is just something crazy in my life. I got a letter grade for how I cleaned a bathroom.

Wow. I can't imagine that much would at this point, but like.

No, actually, with a lot of hard work and accountability group, I've been able to find good chunks of sobriety. I had a relapse in January, but since that point, there's been no problem. Cool. And before that, it was nine months. Before that, it was six or seven months.

Okay. Yeah, we've worked really hard to get there. We actually had our dreaming vision for this upcoming year. Awesome. Meeting last December. A lot of your tips and tools have really helped us. That's awesome.

No, I... Having a daughter is the wildest adventure I thought I could ever be on.

Yeah. Like, okay, I hear what you're saying. Now my brain is like trying to think of like practical next steps for how to do that. Is that through counseling? Is that through reading, exercise routine?

Okay.

Yeah, that's the one place that I've dumped every little thing.

Huh. I've never thought to equate, like, that with how I react to my kids.

Yeah, that I have done. There have been times where I have walked away, took a breath, and then apologized to her. Okay.

I'd like to say yes, but I don't 100% believe that I have.

Well, I mean, everything from, you know, software agreements, all sorts of stuff. Wait a minute. For what?

Well, I mean, I'm not so much worried about that part of getting everything started.

Well, I mean, not enough to get this thing going.

Well, that's the thing, you know. For what I'm doing, I'd be whale hunting in a canoe, and I need some stuff to be able to do such things.

Well, the first thing I do, I would take my current job and ask that they – $10.99 me, and I would contract all the work that I'm doing right now and then go look for my own bigger client. So I have an idea for cash flow.

Well, we got to go after big fish to eat big, right?

I think so because I'd be taking on a lot of my, you know, I'd get my own insurance and stuff like that.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

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Yeah, I understand.

Dave and Jay, how's it going?

So I'm about to be at a point where I'm completely out of debt. I've been working on it the last few years and I'm about to hit it. Zero. Hey, way to go. My question is, is it foolish to go back into debt and start a business?

Uh, my trade or work is, uh, I'm a 401k consultant. I do a risk compliance and I don't know. It's kind of, I'll start my own firm and it's a lot to try to just bankroll. Why? Why?

Well, I don't have a cashflow.

Why are you mad at me for being honest?

where the fuck are you like that he's like no like this like where are you so like manly where the fuck are you gonna take me back no i was like where are you i said gosh i'm just a good little boy

Oh my gosh, I was like, I want, I love you. I want to marry you. Let me impregnate you right now. Jesus, God damn it.

yeah it's pretty obvious this one's not gonna work out so he's like where are you and she wrote back i'm in the bahamas and i said i don't like not talking to you because i love you and then we see his text and it says i know that and i realize you're off your phone but you're like an important part of my life and i was worried about you and i like it honestly because it means i care and i like caring because that makes me a better person and i don't like not talking to you

mad emoji face, cause I love you, and I'm making plans for the future with us in mind, and I wanted to get on a plane, plane emoji, and find you this weekend, cause I didn't have to film, please be mine, young person!

Please don't let me have another season on Southern Charm of looking completely undesirable. It's been like four in a row. Of course!

Yeah, I went home and I got on my couch. Thank God for little Craig. It felt like someone had gutted me. Gutted me, Dad. You know, if I look this unattractive again on TV, how am I going to get laid by other 20-year-olds in bars?

I'm going to have a private eye follow her around and find out. Does this guy get free dockers wherever he goes?

I thought we were going to go to the Bahamas, you know, and visit everybody.

money back. I'll give you your money back. Just please don't let me go.

And I feel this with my heart, my soul, my gut, my ankle bones, my kneecaps. Feel it with every bit of my being.

Hey, what? Austin backs down immediately. He's like, okay, you're not wrong. Craig's not here. I don't have to be mad anymore.

You shall remember my statue in the parks, but it shall never move because I have been aggrieved. All right.

But he's also like, can you believe it? A hot girl straddled me. Like, what the hell?

Well, I never.

Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.

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My chest, my heart. My gut. My gut.

Molly, are you outside?

Sad horn yourself, you beta. You literally have a beta tuba. Get a real tuba for once.

Fuck those bidders. Bidder lunch. Bidder coffee. Hate them both.

I'm with you on that one. And you're lucky I'm on your side, motherfucker. So, deal with your friend.

And her mom's like, oh, no, don't do that, Sally.

Because the other one who had it was Olivia's mom, where she's like, I just can't wait for you to go out and meet a nice man.

I showed up in a jumper today to help you slice lemons.

She's like, okay, honey, whatever you need me to do.

Okay, honey. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just got more lemons. Just please. Do you want lemons too? I'll do lemons as well.

Okay, okay, okay. No pressure, no pressure. I can do this. I can do this.

And she's like, yeah, you should have learned all about hosting during your cotillion years. You just love that so much, didn't you, honey? Yeah.

Okay, listen carefully. Okay, pillows and beers is your side hustle. Sewing down south is your thing. The whole point of the podcast is to like put out good vibes and like laugh and talk with your best friend in the world.

Hey, Craig, just so you know, I'm putting my phone down right here. I'm just going to be on the reformer. Just assume that everything I say is just, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh, yeah.

And then Mia told me that her friend was dating that guy. And I was like, fuck you, bitch. I can take care of myself. I'm Grace Lilly, bitch.

And she's like, yeah, you know what? I'm not going to lie. When he walked in, I was like, fuck you, man. But to be fair, I also say that to a lot of people when they walk in.

It's how I walk into Sweet Greens also. Fuck you, beta bitches. Now make me my bone. I've made a ball. Just kidding. I don't want to eat your employees today. Make my ball.

there's no lines this isn't like a game of thrones and if it were craig would probably break the throne he's so bad with chairs so madison's like he wants to pull craig over here and just ask him what he's saying well let's get him over okay craig craig get your beta ass over here we need to talk to you okay call me i'm sorry say it again call me cersei and you're ned stark down get over here

And Madison said, I just want you to know, if someone talks about you and Paige, I would shut that shit down so quick.

Buh-bye. You know, he's my friend. He's not supposed to go anywhere with JT.

Previously, my alpha husband has a kidney, has a tumor, has a beta tumor on his kidney, so that's fucking bullshit.

Taylor also wasn't in the mood to celebrate, because she's a beta, too.

Because... I don't know if she's a baby yet. I think she's pretty much alpha. So that's okay. We like that. We like her, Hattie.

We know. We know. Unfortunately, that college is not NYU.

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