Judith Shulevitz

I would just sit there and I would listen to these tunes that I was familiar with, but couldn't remember the words of the tunes. And I would be really sad. And sometimes I would cry, you know. And there was something real about feeling that sadness. With psychoanalysis, when you're feeling a sadness, suddenly you get to feel it. A space has been created to feel it.

I would just sit there and I would listen to these tunes that I was familiar with, but couldn't remember the words of the tunes. And I would be really sad. And sometimes I would cry, you know. And there was something real about feeling that sadness. With psychoanalysis, when you're feeling a sadness, suddenly you get to feel it. A space has been created to feel it.

And only after quite a long period of time did I sort of send out the signals that I was someone you could invite home, you know. And people started inviting me home to lunch after shul or if I went on Friday to Shabbos dinner. And I got to know a lot of people who were very different from me, though in some ways the same in that they were Jewish, but they were older.

And only after quite a long period of time did I sort of send out the signals that I was someone you could invite home, you know. And people started inviting me home to lunch after shul or if I went on Friday to Shabbos dinner. And I got to know a lot of people who were very different from me, though in some ways the same in that they were Jewish, but they were older.

They were married couples with kids, which I didn't have, and I didn't know that many people who did. There were refugees from Orthodoxy, a number of women in this particular shul who were refugees from Orthodoxy. There were settled-down gay and lesbian couples, which was at the time not the norm, you know, to sort of have an effective gay or lesbian marriage.

They were married couples with kids, which I didn't have, and I didn't know that many people who did. There were refugees from Orthodoxy, a number of women in this particular shul who were refugees from Orthodoxy. There were settled-down gay and lesbian couples, which was at the time not the norm, you know, to sort of have an effective gay or lesbian marriage.

You know, I would have these moments of thinking, what am I doing? Like, I've become middle-aged before I'm middle-aged. Like, I don't even know what I'm doing here. But I really appreciated this idea that I was with a group of people who were forming a community based around something they did together, which is searching for this quality of a real person.

You know, I would have these moments of thinking, what am I doing? Like, I've become middle-aged before I'm middle-aged. Like, I don't even know what I'm doing here. But I really appreciated this idea that I was with a group of people who were forming a community based around something they did together, which is searching for this quality of a real person.

community, real experiences that were not work by other means, which is what my social life really was at the time. And there were these meals together. There was study, which I discovered I loved, but it took me a long time.

community, real experiences that were not work by other means, which is what my social life really was at the time. And there were these meals together. There was study, which I discovered I loved, but it took me a long time.

I'm going to challenge the idea of control.

I'm going to challenge the idea of control.

Because you're creating a space. You're creating an agenda, right? There's going to be a meal. Maybe there's going to be services. But you're not going to have control over it. In fact, control is what you're giving up, right? That's what the whole point of these laws about work and not work are. So you are coming to people where they are, including your own children. And...

Because you're creating a space. You're creating an agenda, right? There's going to be a meal. Maybe there's going to be services. But you're not going to have control over it. In fact, control is what you're giving up, right? That's what the whole point of these laws about work and not work are. So you are coming to people where they are, including your own children. And...

Yeah, it's a lot of work to find things to do with these kids. Say you do turn things off, right? Say you don't drive to wherever it is that the playground is, right? I live in a city, you know, you can walk to the playground, but not always, right? So maybe you're stuck in a house. What do you do with these kids? Well, you just get through it the way that, you know, parents have for millennia.

Yeah, it's a lot of work to find things to do with these kids. Say you do turn things off, right? Say you don't drive to wherever it is that the playground is, right? I live in a city, you know, you can walk to the playground, but not always, right? So maybe you're stuck in a house. What do you do with these kids? Well, you just get through it the way that, you know, parents have for millennia.

You know, the Orthodox come up with these toys that you can play with that aren't beeping and loud, right? That, you know, are Legos, for example, magnetiles. If you go to services, for me, there were five years in which I was not in services. You know, I was there for the meal they serve after called a kiddish because I couldn't be in services. Eventually there was a baby.

You know, the Orthodox come up with these toys that you can play with that aren't beeping and loud, right? That, you know, are Legos, for example, magnetiles. If you go to services, for me, there were five years in which I was not in services. You know, I was there for the meal they serve after called a kiddish because I couldn't be in services. Eventually there was a baby.

I found one that had a babysitter and so I could go in, but it didn't, you know, when they were really little, it didn't work. But you are not necessarily resting, which is why I think the idea of minukah should be expanded to include something that can be very chaotic, like being with your kids. But think about the fact that you are with your kids. Your child is not playing on his device.

I found one that had a babysitter and so I could go in, but it didn't, you know, when they were really little, it didn't work. But you are not necessarily resting, which is why I think the idea of minukah should be expanded to include something that can be very chaotic, like being with your kids. But think about the fact that you are with your kids. Your child is not playing on his device.