Justin Garcia

There's also other terms that are used.

The idea is that it's what we call a mixed mating strategy, that for long-term partners, we invest in the relationship, and then short-term partners

that we're really focused on what are their genetic traits and that it's more of a high-risk, high-reward game.

Studies have argued that humans employ this mixed mating strategy that we know that we tend to form these socially monogamous pair bonds.

Most sex and reproduction occurs in long-term bonds.

But then we're also interested in short-term relationships and sometimes even at the same time.

But what we look for in those partners are different.

Now, I think this also allows us to stumble on one of the great challenges many people face.

I talk to people all the time who say, well, I'm looking for a long-term partner, but what they're looking for are all the traits that are characteristic of short-term partners.

And how do we get ourselves out of that mindset?

And I think that's a part where

When we understand who we are, when we understand our tendencies, then we can start to control them.

So you say, oh, I'm looking for someone I could build a life with, I could have kids with, I could have a home with.

But you're just focusing on these traits of short-term partners.

Well, they're low in commitment, they're high in risk-taking, but it's not the right thing necessarily to hone in on if we're looking for a long-term bond.

But maybe you're not.

Maybe you're looking for a short-term bond.

So that's part of this whole process of...

courtship and mating of attraction is is one what do we it feels instinctually what are we just attracted to but then at the same time what do we want what do we hope for the outcome of that attraction to be that's where we have to grab by our own biology by the horns well i imagine most people don't stop and think about well

Yeah, it depends.