Karen Dempsey

It can feel a bit patronizing as well when everybody's going, oh, yay.

The sense is reverence and honoring and gratitude that we can do this and space for them to process together.

And that's it.

Do you think we're getting better at talking about death in Ireland?

There are layers to that.

Yes, in some ways we're getting much better about talking about death in Ireland.

We risk losing some of the organicness of how we approach death, but I think that's still there once we just are conscious of maintaining it.

I one time was holding a funeral and the curtains closed and there was the most enormous spider on the curtains behind me.

And I named it as the curtains closed.

Thankfully, I'm not afraid of spiders.

And afterwards, one of the grandchildren said to me that their granny adored spiders, but thought it was the funniest thing to put fake spiders around and scare people.

Ah, brilliant.

Yeah, you get these gorgeous, meaningful things that come out.

Part of the show.

probably funerals it depends I think sometimes we can put too much emphasis on the happiness this is all good and happy in a wedding and I think it's really important to hold that weddings often come with grief as well particularly when somebody has died whether it's been recent or very old that that grief is there and people can sometimes be afraid in case it's going to come out and overwhelm the ceremony and I will always say

it won't overwhelm anything.

We need a space for it.

If there's a space for that grief, that will allow you to process it in real time and then also be present for the celebratory parts too.

To acknowledge it is important, isn't it?

To acknowledge it, yeah, yeah.